Sailor Ranko: Thrice in a Millennium
by burgerbecky
Summary: Set after Sailor Ranko: The Harder They Fall. RanmaSailor Sun and the gang battle Saffron. Ukyou has a side effect.
1. A visitor from China

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 1: A Visitor from China

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

The ongoing saga of "Sailor Ranko", set after "Sailor Ranko: The Harder They Fall"

Based on "Sailor Ranko" by Duncan Zillman and "Twice in a Millennium" by Kevin D. Hammel and acknowledging "Black Moon - Eclipse of the Sun" by Arthur Hansen

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me write yet another Sailor Ranko story.

* * *

The story so far: 

A very long time ago, in an age known as the Silver Millennium, there lived a simple farm girl by the name of Angwyn Weaver. Shortly after reaching her twelfth year of age, her parents were killed in a sudden savage attack that destroyed her home and everything she treasured. She vowed revenge against the creatures that had invaded the only place she knew, and took away from her the two people whom had she loved more than anything else in the world. The memory of her parents, who died protecting their only child, was the sole thing that had kept her going in her sad, empty, lonely life. Under the protection of the Senshi, who wanted to know what was so special about her and her family that had warranted such a violent end; allowed the young girl to live her life among the magical planetary Princesses. In the fullness of time, she single handedly created a link to the Sun and used that terrible power against Queen Beryl and her followers during the Senshi's darkest hour. She paid the ultimate price with the loss of her life, ending her tragic story.

Time passed, and without the guidance of Queen Serenity's magic spell that brought the Senshi to the future together, Angwyn's soul floated free to live out several lifetimes. Her current life took on the form of the male heir of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, Ranma Saotome. By a twist of fate, luck and some kami's idea of a sick joke, Ranma, while training at Jusenkyo with his dim-witted father, fell into the spring of drowned girl, allowing him to become for some of the time, his female self. This singular event unlocked his ability to tap into the part of his soul that was still connected to the power of the Sun, even though thousands of years had gone by. After an attack by Jadeite, hell bent on taking over Tokyo and killing the Sailor Senshi, Ranko, as Ranma was called when in female form, was given the privilege to wear a dress as Sailor Sun with the re-awakened Sailor Senshi for love and justice. The Senshi, with Akane Tendo helping, were able to defeat and kill Jadeite once and for all.

Akane, on the eve of her wedding to Ranma, was offered the position of Sailor Io by Sailor Moon. The young Tendo happily accepted the role and devoted her life to it, just as much as she devoted herself to cooking something special for Ranma. The newly created Sailor Io and the recently awakened Sailor Sun had several adventures together, blowing stuff up in the name of Io, the Sun or the celestial body of the day.

One of Ranma's former fiances, Ukyou Kuonji; a high school student by day, okonomiyaki chef extraordinaire by night, recently joined in on the newlywed couple's most recent adventure when Tokyo was overrun with baby Godzillas and was almost killed by the hungry monsters in doing so. In respect for the sacrifice of her leg and hand during the battle, the Sailor Senshi joined their powers together and healed her by giving a part of themselves to restore her body to its original form.

Ukyou Kuonji felt like a new woman...

Really she did...

Honest.

* * *

A tiny seven year old Chinese girl cowered under a tarp inside of a cold, drafty, and dirty lifeboat, fearing for her life. Freezing, alone and scared beyond belief, she clung to an object hidden under her shirt that gave little comfort in return. Whispering to the silence around her, she closed her eyes and shed another tear to add more moisture to the ever growing stain on her blouse, "Daddy, I miss you." 

She wondered whether it was day or night outside of her hiding place, since she had long ago lost track of time after she had stowed away on a Japanese freighter en route to Japan from China. Empty food cans littered the floor of the tiny boat, her only companions on this long and lonely journey, far from the comfort of home. A bird cawed from a distance, and she trembled in fright from the sound as she had done so many times since being forced to leave her father's side a lifetime ago. She backed away from the bird call, knocking over some tin cans and made a loud racket from their resultant clanging together. Shaking in terror from the noise she had accidentally created, she spoke to the darkness around her as if those words were going to be her last. "Please go away. Go far away."

The unexpected noise from a supposedly empty tarp covered lifeboat attracted the wrong kind of attention for the little stowaway. Mako, a tall, burly middle-aged ship's mechanic, put down his tool box and extracted a monkey wrench for whatever was inside the boat on the deck. Holding his weapon over his head to deliver a strike, he lifted up the covering from the lifeboat expecting a dog or some other wild animal. He was surprised in finding a child softly sobbing within the darkness. He relaxed his guard and asked in a gruff voice, "Hey, who're you?"

The little girl stopped crying and jumped out of her hiding place with a speed that took Mako completely by surprise. She flung a can as a distraction and ran on deck alongside the massive cargo containers, looking for cover. She saw the inviting skyline of Tokyo and instantly realized that the ship was docked and she was finally in Japan. She leapt to the top of a single shipping container to ditch her pursuer and saw near the front of the ship that the gangway was down and it led to shore. Freedom! Happily, she exclaimed in her native language, "So close! Must find the elder!"

Togashi, a security officer who came to Mako's aid, moved into position, holding his hands out to catch the little unwanted passenger. He tiptoed close by and jumped to tackle her, but he missed his mark as she instinctively ducked to the side to avoid his lunge, causing the hapless man to plant his face into the cold hard steel of the container the girl was once standing on. Rubbing his forehead to soften the pain, he growled at the retreating girl. He pulled out his walkie-talkie and pressed the all call button to alert everyone on board the vessel. "Hey, guys! We've got a Chinese stowaway! Head her off at the gangway, 'cause she's making a break for it."

The girl was fifteen meters from the exit when she saw a Japanese customs agent crossing the gangway to get on board the ship for the standard inspection. The man looked up to see the child approach, then noticed the two crewman chasing her and shouting at him to intercept her. He outstretched his arms to block the exit to box her in, realizing that she was going to have to be turned over to the Department of Japanese Immigration.

The tiny girl stopped dead in her tracks, trying to find a way of escape. She looked upward to the heavens with a sky that was overcast and looked as if it was going to rain. Finding nothing dangerous above, she smiled at the Japanese man in front of her and leapt head first off the deck, scaring the two men behind her with her apparent suicide attempt. Having no real intent on dying today, she grabbed the main rope that moored the ship to the dock and quickly scampered across it, like a very fast sloth, to shore. Stopping for a few seconds to get her bearings, she ran away as fast as she could, ducking behind crates and cargo containers to hide her trail. She spoke in Japanese to herself, "Must find help. Tragic end for me if I can't find her. I must find the elder, she will protect me." She held the object under her shirt tightly, as if her very existence depended on it.

Dumbfounded, the men spread out from the ship, looking for their uninvited passenger. The customs agent scratched his head in frustration. "She must've been really desperate to leave China. How'd she keep out of your sight?"

"Dunno," Mako shrugged. "From the looks of her hiding place, she was alone." He paused a moment, "and starving. Poor thing."

Looking at the hundreds of containers that littered the docks, the men shook their head in mutual pity. The Japanese agent sighed, "Leave her. We've got better things to do."

Above their heads, there was abnormally high number of black birds filling the dark overcast sky. They were searching for something, or someone.

* * *

**BRING!** Went the alarm clock next to Ukyou's bed, announcing the dawning of a new day. She reached over and turned off the annoying racket that disturbed yet another wonderful dream of her and her beloved Ranchan. Yawning, she got up and dressed in a simple martial arts gi for her morning sparring session with her male kunoichi, Konatsu. She looked forward to her daily ritual she practiced in the morning at dawn to expand her martial arts skills, especially since she had taken up learning to use a katana. 

Ukyou felt good during her sparring session in the side alley next to the Ucchan's with her kunoichi. She didn't allow a single shuriken that Konatsu threw at her to even get close to her body, deflecting each one with her spatula. Reminding herself of the times that she had endlessly trained against the raging sea, she honed her abilities to a higher level, pushing her Art farther than ever before. Konatsu was impressed that his love could avoid everything he threw at her, even when she ordered him to go all out and actually tried to hit her.

They finished their session with a small bow of respect for one another. Ukyou completed the ritual with the usual marching orders, handing her ten yen an hour employee a scrap of paper with a list of items to buy. "Here's a shopping list of everything I need for the after school crowd. Don't forget to pick up the cabbage and the eggs since I'm really low and I'll run out if you don't get 'em." Ukyou held her spatula over her shoulder as she entered the shop through the side entrance. "I'll make breakfast, you clean up."

Konatsu bowed to his mistress again, grateful for the tasks that Ukyou had entrusted to him, and began the chore of cleaning up the broken bricks and crates that littered the alley. He collected all of the throwing stars that were embedded in the walls and found all of Ukyou's throwing spatulas stuck in a wooden target at the end of the alley. Satisfied with a complete job, he entered Ucchan's for his morning meal.

The kunoichi sat at his usual stool and ate his usual okonomiyaki, wearing his usual kunoichi outfit with his hair tied in his usual pretty bow. Taking another bite of his Japanese pancake, he secretly wished that Ukyou would cook something else for breakfast once in a while, since okonomiyaki for every meal was getting old. He dared not openly speak his mind lest he offend the woman he loved. A slight draft made him notice that the patch on the knee of his cotton pants was falling off from wear. He made a mental note to himself to find time to fix his ninja outfit before it completely fell apart.

Konatsu was a complete contradiction. He was born a man, and in every way but his physical gender, he was a woman. He wore female ninja garb, a beautiful kimono as a waitress when he was serving the customers at Ucchan's, and had lovely long black hair done in a ponytail that drew compliments from men and women alike. He was a very attractive female looking ninja who took great care in the application of his makeup to look his very best.

He was deeply in unconditional love with Ukyou. She was the first person to ever show him kindness when he needed it the most and he wanted to repay that kindness one hundredfold. His absolute submissive personality forbade him from ever speaking his mind about his distaste for Ukyou's relentless chase of Ranma or even disobeying the tiniest whim's of his beloved Ucchan. But it didn't matter, for he was hers and hers alone. As long as she lived, he would love no other.

He ate his breakfast and dreamt of a day that Ukyou would finally return his love and ask him to marry her. He had no idea if it would ever happen, but he was willing to wait a lifetime if need be. As long as he was in the company of Ukyou, he was exactly where he wanted to be.

Ukyou finished cleaning the griddle and put away her tools while her kunoichi silently sighed in bliss. "Ko-chan, I gotta get ready for school." She ran up the stairs to her bedroom with Konatsu watching his beloved disappear from view. Ukyou closed her bedroom door, threw off her gi, toweled off her sweat and quickly put on her Furinkan High School girl's uniform. She combed her hair and tied it into a pair of ponytails, miffed at how short her hair was. She took an unusually long time fixing her hair since it was being unruly as she created a ball with each ponytail. Once her hair was done, she took a ponytail and smelled the sweet fragrance coming from it. "Peaches? Oh yeah, it's that new shampoo I got yesterday." She picked up the bottle from her basket of bath supplies she took with her when she went to the public bath yesterday evening. She normally didn't buy this brand but, for some reason, she just felt like a change was in order.

The chef smiled and put the shampoo back in her basket and made last minute adjustments to her hair and makeup. She admired herself in the mirror for one last moment holding her hands in an odd gesture. "I'll punish you!" She giggled, then strapped on her giant baker's peel, grabbed her school bags and went downstairs.

Konatsu was finishing sweeping up the floor when Ukyou ran by in a blur. Ukyou waved at him as she zoomed out the front door with her long ponytails trailing in her wake. "Don't forget the groceries!" She left a trail of dust that followed her to the horizon in her haste. The front door slammed shut with small sheets of paper fluttering onto the ground marking her quick departure.

Konatsu did a double take as he remembered Ukyou's brief appearance before running off to school. "Strange, she's been wearing a dress for several days straight. I like her new look though." He began to whistle as he picked up the last of the dust and papers from the floor. He stopped as he had a revelation while he looked in the direction that Ukyou ran off to. "That's really a new look for her."

* * *

"Akane! We're going to be late!" Ranma was standing in the living room of his Juuban apartment tapping his foot, while waiting for his wife to get out of the tiny bathroom. Makoto and Minako had already left after the early morning sparring session the four 'girls' participated in. Ranma shook his head at the thought of being a girl during this morning's training due to Minako's incessant whining and sudden splashes of cold water on Ranma. He was really beginning to wonder if Minako was a closet boy hater, since she was demanding more and more for Ranma to stay a girl in her presence. 

"Here you are, my son." Nodoka came out of the kitchen area and handed Ranma a bento she had lovingly prepared. She was staying in the tiny apartment with Ranma and Akane, while she was scouring Juuban for an affordable apartment or condominium that had more space than the tiny one bedroom apartment that the three currently lived in. Ranma was thankful that his mother had come to live with them. She was a great cook and had fixed most of the damage to the kitchen that Akane had done.

"Thanks, mom. **AKANE!** We're gunna be late!" He looked at the time from the clock on the wall. "Aw, man. I don't wanna stand in the hall again with a sign like Usagi that says 'Late to class'. Okay?"

The sound of the shower stopped and a voice came from behind the closed bathroom door. "Well if someone didn't use all the hot water, then I wouldn't need to wait for the hot water heater to refill!"

Ranma huffed. "Maybe a cold shower is what you need to chill out!"

Akane built up her battle aura and the crack under the door began to glow. "Maybe if you hadn't spent all of your time looking at Makoto's leotard and concentrated on teaching her to use her ki, we wouldn't have run late!" The four girls wore leotards during some sparring sessions to simulate battles wearing their Sailor Senshi uniforms, much to Akane's dismay and Minako's delight.

Nodoka clasped her hands together and swooned at her son's suspected peeping. "Oh! Ranma, you truly are a man."

Ranma was acting upset but his face didn't show it for he had an ulterior motive. "Hey! I wasn't looking at that, you macho chick! Maybe if you weren't so uncute, I would've a reason to look at you instead!"

The door to the bathroom quickly opened with a very furious towel wrapped Akane standing within. "What did you say?" She shouted, as a mallet appeared from nowhere in her hand. She was seconds away from sending him to the moon via a soon-to-be created hole in the roof.

Ranma laughed and pointed his finger at his wife. "Ha ha! Got you to dry yourself! Now get some clothes on so we can get outta here!" Ranma jumped out of the way of the mallet strike and leapt toward the balcony. However, the sliding glass door was shut and Ranma slammed into thick glass. He groaned in pain and fell to the ground, stars twirling around his head.

Akane looked down at herself and noticed that she and the towel she wore were bone dry. Her battle aura had done an excellent job in removing all of the water from her body, leaving her ready to get dressed. She peered over the couch to the lump on the ground formerly known as Ranma, happy to see that he got what was coming to him for insulting her. She walked over to her fallen husband and slammed her mallet down on him on principle alone. "You've really got to work on your teaching methods, dummy. There're better ways to get me to use my ki to dry myself than that, you insensitive jerk."

The pile of Ranma mumbled. "You're so uncute."

SLAM! Akane smashed him down again, reducing him to a wafer thinness.

Nodoka sighed while holding out a bento for her daughter-in-law to take. "You really shouldn't do that. It's going to affect the security deposit when we move out."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Saotome, er... I mean, Mother." She bowed while stowing away her mallet into mallet space, then went into the bedroom to change into her Juuban school uniform.

The Saotome elder tapped on the kitchen counter to attract Ranma's attention. "Son, please get up. It's time to go to school."

"Okay. Okay." Ranma peeled himself off the carpet and re-inflated with only a few scratches to show for his beating at the hands of his wife. He glanced at the clock and frowned at what he saw. "Well, we're officially late."

Nodoka handed Ranma a thermos with hot water inside. "I think you'll need this to get to school on time."

"Why would I need... Oh, great." Ranma turned to the balcony window and slid the drapes closed. "One taxi coming right up." He pulled out his henshin stick and held it high. "Sun Star Power! Make Up!" A mist of water from the transformation wand encased Ranma, turning him into a her and three seconds later, a red headed Senshi of the Sun stood where Ranma had been. "Okay. Now we can get there on time if Akane gets ready in three minutes." The red head brushed off her red mini-skirt. "Aw, man, Sailor Moon is going to kill me someday when I wear out my henshin stick."

Akane ran out of the bedroom in her Juuban High School uniform, holding her shoes in one hand. She tripped as she was trying to put on a sock using only her other hand. "Is there a youma alert?" She asked from the her place on the floor and pulled up her sock onto her foot. A henshin stick appeared in her hand from nowhere and the short haired girl stood up with her arm in the air, ready to transform.

Sailor Sun held her hands to her hips with impatience. "No, just a 'Ranma wants to avoid detention alert'. C'mon, we haven't got all day y'know."

Disappointed, Akane put her stick down and slid on her shoes. "Oh, darn."

A chill ran down the Senshi of the Sun's back. "Uh oh... Maybe it's an alert after all."

Akane felt the chill as well. "Uh oh, is right. Where's it coming from?"

Sun turned to the direction of the harbor with a look of concern. She pointed in the general direction of Tokyo harbor. "That way. Whatever it is, there's a lot of them."

Akane shouted as she held her henshin stick high above her head almost banging her rod on the low ceiling. "Io Lumina Power! Make Up!" She spun around to transform into the yellowed skirted Senshi of Io. "I'm ready when you are."

Sailor Sun held onto Io's waist tight to carry her while calling out her spell. "Sun Beam Transport!" The two girls vanished in a bright flash of light.

Nodoka Saotome looked around the empty room, gently shaking her head. She picked up Ranma and Akane's book bags holding them tight against her chest with a smile. "My children are going to have to learn to take their things with them." She stacked the book bags and the thermos of hot water that Sun had left behind on the living room table. She tidied up the room, picked up her list of real estate appointments and then left to look at some more possible homes for herself and her heirs.

* * *

Ukyou ran to school, arms outstretched behind her like an airplane's wings, running along the fence tops taking in the fresh morning air. She felt good to have her hair flutter in the breeze as she picked up speed to get to school on time. She kept her balance and focused on the path ahead to train just like Ranma did. She leapt into the air when she reached the end of the fence, did a somersault and landed gracefully onto the sidewalk without having her giant spatula touch the ground. She was full of energy this morning as she welcomed a wonderful new day. Ukyou entered the front gates of Furinkan High with her spatula being the only thing holding her back from gaining more speed. She stopped by a tree and inhaled the fragrance from the fresh morning air. She rubbed her regrown leg and smiled, happy to be alive and well. 

A voice called out to her, filling her soul with dread. "Honored warrior, I beseech you to grant me the privilege of your audience and allow me to date with Sailor Sun and... Wait a minute, you're not Sailor Moon."

Ukyou knew Tatewaki Kuno was dense. But to confuse her with Sailor Moon was a level of stupidity that rivaled Forrest Gump. She turned her head to face the kendoist with a look of disgust. "What's gotten into you, jackass? Don't you know who I am?"

Tatewaki Kuno took a step back. "I'm sorry fair maiden but I don't believe we've met. I am the... Now I recognize your face! You're Ukyou Kuonji, am I not correct?"

"Of course I'm Ukyou, you jackass. Who else would I be? How many people walk around with this strapped to their backs?" She reached an arm over her shoulder to touch her trademark spatula that she always carried behind her.

"But of course my fair maiden, forgive my grievous error and accept my apology by dating with me tonight." He pulled out a bouquet of flowers and presented them to her with a graceful bow.

"Thanks, but no thanks, Kuno. I'll accept your apology, but I won't date with you." Ukyou turned toward the school, took two steps and was stopped by a quick moving kendoist.

Kuno held his hand to the collar of his robe in a dramatic pose, not budging from his place in front of the chestnut haired girl. "Fair maiden, there is a rumor about, that you have a connection with the Sailor Senshi. Is this not correct?" He tried to make the request as non-intrusive as possible to entice the girl to surrender to his charms.

Ukyou shifted her demeanor to be a little bit more annoyed at the idiot that was invading her personal space. "Whoever gave you that idea, sugar?" She peeked around Kuno into the schoolyard to see if she could find Nabiki lurking about.

Kuno looked away in classic Kuno style, facing the sky with his hands on the collar of his kendo robes. "I was fed the information by the fair maiden, Nabiki Tendo. However, your appearance only adds credibility to her claims. Tell me, what do you know about the Senshi marriage laws?" He turned his eyes toward Ukyou's, hoping for her to come forward with a favorable answer.

The chef glared back in response, lowering her eyebrows in annoyance as the clock was ticking toward a tardy bell. "I have no idea what you're talkin' about. Marriage laws? What? Are you stalking Senshi now? Aren't Ranma and Akane enough for you?"

Kuno stared upwards to the heavens, as if the gods themselves were blessing his pronouncement. "My only business with Saotome is to break his hold on Akane Tendo and the pig tailed one. I have other matters that need my immediate attention and the learning of the entire text of the Senshi marriage laws will aid me in my quest to free those poor maidens from their entrapment." Kuno stopped staring into space while he was speaking to look at Ukyou again when he saw that she wasn't standing there anymore. He spun around to see Ukyou walking calmly into the front doorway of the high school.

Kuno ever so slowly nodded his head. "Ignore your upperclassman will you? You show the same disrespect as that foul Saotome. Perhaps he has poisoned you as well." He called out in a loud voice. "Sasuke!"

Tatewaki's private ninja appeared from nowhere and bowed at his feet. "Yes, master?"

The kendoist shot a glance at his man servant, only interested in his undying faithfulness and nothing else. "Have you obtained any further information about the Senshi?"

"Since twenty minutes ago? No, master." Sasuke groveled at Kuno's feet.

"What do I pay you for? Get to work then! Find out who Sailors Sun and Io are so that I may date with them."

The ninja looked up from his prone position in shock. "But, master? Didn't they instruct you that they would kill you if you bothered them?"

Kuno had a gleam in his eye. "They did indeed. However, I'm not the one bothering them as you so eloquently put it. You're only investigating them, not bothering them. The only one bothering them is the one I intend to properly put into his place. I need the book that contains the laws of the Senshi. Once I have it, I can find a way to impress upon the fiery red haired goddess and the strong willed yellow skirted warrior, my prowess as their future mate." Kuno held his bokken to the sky and laughed insanely. "Yes! They will come to me and join my glorious house!" Lighting struck a nearby tree then bounced off a branch directly into Kuno's bokken, frying the upperclassman into a blacked crisp. He fell face first into the grass.

Sasuke groaned as he pulled out a first aid kit from his ninja robes. "Oh, master."

* * *

The little Chinese girl ran under store awnings and the trees that lined the street as she journeyed away from the docks and into the city of Tokyo. She took extra precautions to avoid going out into the open, keeping her eyes glued to the sky. A mass of black birds flew overhead and the girl jumped into a trash can and covered it with the lid to hide from anyone's view. 

"Caw caw!" The birds called to each other, after seeing nothing in particular and flew off to the north.

The girl shivered in terror remembering what happened in China to her father on the night she was driven from her home. Her father had given her a quest that brought her to this foreign land. She slid her hand into her shirt to check if her precious parchment was still present and sighed when she found that she had not lost her treasure. She still had hope that she would be able to finish the task that her beloved father had entrusted her with.

Tap! Tap! A gloved hand knocked on the trash can. "Anyone in there?" Sailor Io asked.

The tiny girl cowered in the refuse. She whimpered and thought. "They've found me. Oh, Daddy, I'm so sorry. I failed you." She shivered in fright, softly whispering to the person outside of her sanctuary. "Please don't hurt me."

Sun looked at Io. "Wadda ya think?"

Io shook her head. "Lost kid maybe?"

"Doubt it. There's something going on and she's the center of it. We wouldn't have of felt danger if this was just a lost kid. Heck, Ryoga would be the center of trouble if being lost was all it took."

Io huffed with her hands on her hips. "Stop picking on Ryoga! He hasn't done anything to you."

"Whatever. Anyways, let's find out who or what's in here so we can get to class and avoid detention." Sun tapped the trashcan again. "Anyone home?"

The lid slowly slid open and a pair of tiny eyes looked out. "You not one of... them?"

A thunderclap was heard in the distance. Io bent over to get a good look at the girl inside the can. "One of who? We're the Sailor Senshi and we'd like to take you home to your parents."

The girl popped back into the can. "No! Can't go to Father now! Must find elder before they find me."

Sun looked to the sky in disgust. She was going to get a detention for rescuing a lost girl who might have an overactive imagination. The darkening sky attracted the Senshi's attention as it filled with a huge number of black birds who were circling their location. The birds began to descend with a few heading straight for her. "What gives?"

"Caw! Caw!" Several birds flew just over Sun's head and pecked her as they dive bombed. Soon, a hundred birds flew in a pattern to attack the Senshi.

Io slammed the lid on the little girl to protect her. Sun spun her head around to spy a pile of gravel with a shovel stuck in it and grabbed a handful of tiny rocks. She pinched the pebbles at the birds to rapidly knock them out of the air unconscious. Io stood guard by the trash can keeping a lookout for the little Chinese girl.

One of the birds was much larger in size than the others. It descended rapidly and as it got closer, it became a man with black feathered wings and bird like talons for hands. He flew directly above hovering over the pair of Senshi. "Caw! Caw! Give me the girl!"

Sailor Sun swung her hands out in defiance. "Forget it!"

The bird man smiled. "Caw! Caw! Then you die now!" He folded in his wings to perform a dive attack.

Io threw a ball of lava. "Lava Blast!" The bird man twisted his body to easily dodge the magical fireball. Io barely dodged a counterattack as a flurry of sharp feathers were unleashed that almost turned her into a pin cushion. The feathers were thrown from a second bird man with white feathers and black tiger like stripes on his clothes.

Sun took stock of the situation. "Aw, man! Two of them?" Another thunderbolt arced across the sky as the area filled with rain from a sudden cloudburst. Sun smiled since she was already female, so rain didn't bother her. She kept forgetting that the Senshi magic locked her in female form while she was powered up.

The bird men gave looks of shock and surprise to each other as the rain touched them and their wings instantly vanished. They fell together onto a pile of crates nearby.

Sun's eyes grew wide as the shock of the transformation overtook her. "What? They turn human with cold water? What are they?"

One of the former bird men popped out of the broken crate. "Give us the girl!" The rain began to subside leaving a fine mist all around the alley.

Sun stomped on his head three times to send him into dreamland. His companion popped out of another broken crate. "We'll face you again!" The little girl appeared and stomped on the second former bird man until he was knocked out cold.

Io folded her arms watching the little girl bounce like a beach ball on the unconsious head of the bird man. "Girl's got spunk."

The little Chinese girl finished jumping up and down after the man's head was completely covered in lumps. She hopped in front of Sailor Sun and bowed. "Thank you for saving me, honored guest!"

Sun held her wet gloved hand to her chin in remembrance. "Honored guest? Where've I heard that before?"

Flashback

The Jusenkyo guard poured hot water on Ranma-chan. "Honored guest, you fall in Nyannichuan, Spring of Drowned Girl. Very tragic story of..."

End Flashback

Sun shuddered at the memory of that terrible day.

The little girl bowing before the Senshi was only a little more than a meter tall with twin pigtails in her jet black hair. She wore a large flower on each side her head, a simple loose Chinese shirt and cotton drawstring pants. "Please take me to Amazon elder. She's in Nerima at a place called Cat Cafe. It very important I see elder."

Sun and Io groaned in stereo. Io kneeled down to the girl while Sun leaned against a wall sighing. "Is this elder's name, Cologne?"

"Yes! That's her name! She's the great elder who can help me."

Sun watched the sky as the rest of the birds flew off and the clouds dissipated. "Oh, that's just great." She shook her head in dread. "I'll take you there, but first let me get some answers from your friends." She walked over to the crates and pushed aside the wood to drag out the two men. Sun gasped as she saw that the two men had disappeared. "Io, did you see 'em go?"

Io looked around the alley. "No, they must have snuck away."

"Great, just great. That's all I need to start my day." Sun faced the little girl. "Let's get you to safety and then I want some answers."

* * *

Ukyou sat at her desk worrying if she was going to serve detention. She unpacked her homework and looked it over for any last minute mistakes. Yuka and Sayuri strolled up to Ukyou with smiles on their faces. Yuka sat down next to Ukyou holding her face in her hands with little stars in her eyes. "Hey Ukyou, tell us all about it!" 

Sayuri sat in front of Ukyou with her hands to her chin in a dreamy fashion as well. "C'mon, what's it like to be around the Sailor Senshi?"

Ukyou bugged her eyes out. She thought in a panic. How much do they know? She put her papers down sliding them back into her bag. "Girls, what makes you think I know the Senshi?"

"Well, for starters, there's all the rumors going around school about you helping them out with those giant lizards. What did they call them?"

Yuka answered. "Gojira, although the Americans called them Godzillas."

"Yeah that's it, Gojira. Didn't you sell Gojira okonomiyaki at your place?"

Ukyou nodded. "Yeah, but I ran out of the meat yesterday. If you wanted some, you should have let me know. I would've saved you some."

Yuka looked around noticing that several students were staring at the three of them. She lowered her voice so that only Sayuri and Ukyou could hear. "I heard that you went to the hospital and the Senshi healed you. Was it true? What was that like?"

Ukyou sighed. "Look, class is going to start in a few minutes. I'll tell you at lunch, ok?"

Both girls said while clapping their hands together. "Okay!" The rest of the students nearby paid very close attention to the trio, taking notes and whispering among themselves.

Sayuri was all giddy. "Tell me, did Sailor Moon show you how to do that?"

Ukyou's eyes narrowed as she didn't like where the conversation was going. "Do what?"

"Your hair, silly. How long did it take you to do that?"

"What are you talking about?"

Yuka and Sayuri glanced at each other. Yuka tapped a meatball on Ukyou's head. "That! How did you do that to your hair? It's really cool!"

Ukyou got very quiet. She slowly lifted her hand to the top of her head and felt the meatball on her right side. She quickly reached over the left side and felt the second meatball. Using both hands, she felt her twin ponytails as they reached down to her shoulders. She gasped. "Do either of you have a mirror?"

Yuka reached into her purse. "Sure." She handed Ukyou a small compact.

"Thanks." Ukyou opened the compact and looked at her reflection. "Oh... My... God..." She dropped the compact as she vanished into the ladies room.

Sayuri shrugged. "I thought it looked good on her."

Yuka nodded in agreement. "I thought so too."

Ukyou stared at herself in the restroom mirror. Her hairstyle was a dead ringer for Sailor Moon except that her hair was chocolate brown and shoulder length since most of the hair went into the twin meatballs on her head. "When did I do that? I don't remember doing... Yes, I did do that." She began to undo the hairstyle to change it to something less embarrassing. "Why the hell did I do that?" She combed out her hair in record time.

"I'd better hurry or I'm going to be late." She brushed her hair, fluffed it up and combed her bangs. She got a red ribbon out of her book bag and tied it in back of her head. "Okay, that's more like it." She admired herself for a moment then ran back into her classroom and sat in her seat just as Miss Hinako entered when the tardy chime rang.

Sayuri glanced over at Ukyou and liked what she saw. "Yuka!"

"What?"

"Now she looks even better!"

"Do you think she'll dye it blond tonight?"

"I think she should. She'd make a perfect Sailor Venus."

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and stops me from sending over those 100 pizzas I ordered in your name to your house. You're buying of course. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 25th, 2007

* * *


	2. The new enemy

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 2: The new enemy

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me upload chapters to without checking them.

* * *

The clouds high in the morning sky quickly parted creating a beam of sunlight that brightened the skyline of Nerima. The air was filled with the fresh smell of damp grass as the water deposited earlier in the day began to evaporate away. 

Two Sailor Senshi sat on a park bench watching over a little Chinese girl whom they had rescued from flying birdmen only an hour ago.

The red skirted, red haired girl sighed as another passerby calmly walked by, ignoring the Senshi. Anywhere else in town, Sailor Senshi would attract a crowd, but here, everyone just assumed super powered individuals were an everyday occurrence.

Sailor Sun spoke in a soft voice to her companion. "Io."

"Yes, Sun?"

"How're we going to take this kid to the ol' ghoul without blowing our cover?"

Io pondered the question. "Well, the disguise magic is supposed to prevent anyone from recognizing us isn't it?"

Sailor Sun slumped in her seat. "Hate to break it to ya, but the old bat can see through the magic."

"Lovely."

The little girl finished devouring her third parfait. "May I have another one, honored guests?"

Io turned to Sun with a satisfied smirk. "You're the master of free eats."

"Nag, nag, nag." Sun got up to go back to the ice cream parlor to work her charm for another ice cream. She entered the shop and a moment later she held a chocolate and strawberry sundae, which was snatched by the starving little girl.

CHOMP! CHOMP! The sundae vanished in just two bites. "Thank you for your kind generosity." She bowed again as she did for each treat she had gotten from the two Senshi. She licked her lips to taste the last of the delicious confection and savored the flavor. "There isn't anything like this where I come from."

Io closed her eyes in the hope that the girl would open up to her. She had been evasive to all their questions ever since they had teleported to a location five blocks from the Cat Cafe. "Where is it that you come from?"

The little girl looked around suspiciously. "I can't say until I speak with the elder. When can you take me to her?"

Io shook her head in sad frustration. The girl refused to say anything about why she was being pursued, the identities of her pursuers, who she was, or where she came from. Sun turned to Io with an idea. "Io, stay here. My friend will be here soon to take her to the Cat Cafe. After HE gets here, you can join me back at headquarters."

Io lowered her eyebrows while thinking about Sun's words. "Headquarters? Huh?"

Sun walked off and vanished around a street corner to carry out her plan, whatever it was. Io sat for a full minute watching the little girl lick the bowl clean. "You've got a healthy appetite, don't you?"

"Thank you again, honored guest." She bowed for the tenth time. "I've been hungry for quite some time."

"Why are you so hungry? Haven't your parents..." A sound of a male screaming at the top of his lungs broke the conversation as a damp panic stricken pig-tailed martial artist ran around a corner with his arms flailing in the air.

"Get it away from me! Get it away from me! YAH!" Ranma ran straight toward Sailor Io and hid behind her, cowering to the ground. "Keep it away from me!"

Io rolled her eyes in frustration to her husband's display of fear. She stepped forward to the corner of the store, knelt down to the ground and called out to the terrible creature. "Here kitty, kitty." A small black cat came around the block and purred. She turned around to look at her big strong husband who was curled up in a ball, moaning. "I'll defeat this terrible enemy Ranma, for love and justice." She giggled then assured her husband to keep him from wigging out even more. "A friend of mine will be back to help protect you if any more of these horrible things show up." Io picked up the cat, petted it and jogged away from sight.

Ranma's teeth chattered as he bravely stood up to face the horrid triangle eared demon. "Y-Y-yeah. I-I-I'll b-be r-right here." Once Io was out of his sight and the black spawn of the fourth circle of hell was gone, he calmed down.

The black haired little girl tossed her styrofoam bowl into the trash. "Mister? Where was the monster? All I saw was a cute little kitty cat."

Ranma pulled in his inner strength to keep from freaking out again. "D-don't worry little girl. It was there all right. By the way, I don't think we've met. I'm Ranma Saotome. What's your name?" He bowed, ever so slightly.

The girl stood stone faced. "Shouldn't we wait for your friend?"

Ranma stood up from his bow of greeting. He quietly cursed. This girl's really good at keep quiet. Wonder if she's been taking lessons from Nabiki.

"Ranma?" Akane came around the corner. "Have you... Oh, there you are. Hello little one, my friend told me all about you. I'm Akane, wanna be friends?"

The girl wasn't fooled. "I need to see Cologne. Can you either of you take me to her?"

Ranma and Akane drooped their shoulders. Ranma led the way down the street. "C'mon, it's 'bout five blocks this way."

"Where did the magical girls go?"

Akane gave a knowing smile. "They had to go somewhere. They told us to take you to Cologne."

The girl jumped on Ranma's back holding his shoulders tight. "Let's run! I need to see her now."

Ranma dropped his head in defeat. "This had better be good, I'm tired of earning detention for being a taxi service."

* * *

Ryoga sat on the roof of his farmhouse looking at the clouds in a wistful manner. He was in peaceful bliss since his marriage to Akari Unryuu but something was still missing in his life. He just couldn't put his finger on it as he thought about what led him to this point and why he was here. He spoke to the empty rooftop. "Ah, Akari. How did I ever deserve someone like you? What did I do to earn your love?" He sat up to meditate for a little while clearing his thoughts but his mind wandered away again. Wandering like he used to do in a physical sense until recently. 

Akari climbed up the ladder that was attached to the side of the house to visit her daydreaming husband. She carefully crawled on the roof to slide next to Ryoga. She was terrified of the roof since it was slippery, slanted and just wasn't that safe to be on. She slid next to her husband and held him tight. "Oh, Ryoga."

Ryoga squeezed Akari's hand that she had placed on his shoulder. He tilted his head against hers and sighed. Akari blinked then pushed herself harder against Ryoga's head as if she could somehow become one with him by pressure alone.

The young woman held her beloved's face to hers. She pressed her lips to his and gave him a gentle kiss. "What's wrong, Ryoga?"

He sighed again feeling a wave of depression that for all rights shouldn't exist in his soul but did. "Nothing."

"Liar." Akari playfully smiled. She grew concerned and looked into his eyes. "Tell me what's wrong. Please darling." She batted her eyes and then lowered her head to show him that she deeply cared about him and his feelings.

Ryoga turned away. "Nothing. Nothing's the matter."

Akari pulled back dejected and sad. "Okay." Her face fell into a sorrowful state since her husband was hiding something from her. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it." She pulled away lowering her hands to crawl back to the ladder.

"Wait." Ryoga pulled his knees to his chest in contemplation. "I..."

Akari gave an expectant look. "Yes?"

"I... I..." Ryoga wimped out. He couldn't tell her his true feelings because he didn't want to hurt her. He buried his head into his knees trying to summon the courage to speak.

"Ryoga." Akari whispered. "Please tell me what's wrong. You've been spending so much time up here. You hardly eat. You..." She felt sullen and alone. "You don't spend much time with me anymore." Her eyes watered a tiny bit. "Am I not a good wife?"

Ryoga snapped back into reality. "Akari, please forgive me. I-I never said you weren't a good wife. Y-you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He held out his hands to take hers. "I'm sorry but... but..." He went back into reality denial mode with a full dose of cowardice.

Akari lifted her head up to watch Ryoga drop his head back down. "Is there someone else?"

Ryoga flung his head up. "No! There's no one else!" He flashed an image of Akane in his mind then pushed it aside.

Akari was nearly in tears. "Then why are you so sad? Why are you always depressed lately? Did I do something wrong? Did I do something to offend you? Please tell me." She shed a few tears. "I don't want you to be sad. We're supposed to be happy together."

Ryoga pulled his head back to gaze at the clouds. He ran his pitiful thought processes to try to make sense of what he felt. He watched the clouds roll by as they traveled across the sky to parts unknown. Traveled? Journeyed? Voyaged? He contorted his face and clutched his chest to the stark reality that presented itself to him. He was tied down. He had to be free. He had to... Had to... No! He couldn't do it to her. He was found. He gave up the title of the lost boy for Akari's sake. He couldn't do it to her anymore but the road was calling his name.

Ryoga's dreams were filled with images of far off places. Many of them he had already been to in his journeys. He remembered the despair, the loneliness, and the isolation that the open road offered. It was nothing like what he had right in front of him. He had a wife, a home and a pen full of sumo pigs that tolerated his company. It wasn't much, but it was a destination at the end of a very long journey. Ryoga knew deep in his heart that the destination was never the goal; it was the journey itself that made everything worthwhile. He desperately wanted to embark on another trek through the woods, deserts, fields and plains of the world. He could just hear the sounds of the distant lands waiting for him to visit, to partake in their cultures and to move on.

"Akari, I'm not sad." He tried to put on a happy face for his wife and failed miserably.

"Then what are you?" Akari held her gaze on his face, desperate for an answer to her question.

Ryoga held her hand tight. "I'm in love." He moved toward her in a gentle motion. Akari closed her eyes and savored his sweet lips. They felt their love electrify the moment and the instant their lips parted, the moment was gone.

Akari giggled like a schoolgirl charged up by her moment of passion. "Then come down with me." She tugged his hand. "Katsunishiki's hungry and it's time to feed him." Her eyes sparkled. "Together."

Ryoga quickly stood up. "Then let's not keep him waiting." He scooped up Akari and jumped off the roof to the ground with Akari screaming all the way down.

Katsunishiki snorted from his pen at the sound of his master's scream. "Bwee!"

Ryoga jerked at the sound of a pig's squeal that reminded him of his curse. Akari pounded Ryoga's head with very little force since she just wanted to get his attention. "Don't do that! You know I hate that!"

Ryoga put his wife down. "Let's get the slop and give it to him."

Akari ran to the kitchen while holding Ryoga's hand. They were a happy couple.

* * *

The Cat Cafe stood before the Saotomes and their newfound friend. Ranma checked to make sure that neither he nor Akane had anything visible on them to give away their positions as Senshi. He examined his Senshi communicator to make sure it was on vibrate mode to avoid a telltale beep in the cafe. Satisfied, he entered the front door triggering the chime. 

Mousse walked up to the entrance to shoo away the early customers. "I'm sorry, but we aren't serving lunch for about two hours. Please come back when we're open." He squinted at the somewhat familiar silhouettes in his fuzzy vision. "Oh, it's only you. Are you here to take my darling Shampoo?" He assumed a fighting stance but didn't charge.

Ranma was impressed that duck boy was wearing his glasses this time around and didn't try to glomp or attack them. "Actually, we're here because of her." He pointed to the little Chinese girl.

Mousse adjusted his glasses to get a better look at the child. "And who might you be?"

She bowed to Mousse. "I'm here to see the great elder Cologne."

Mousse was suspecting that this was some sort of trap to lure him and Cologne away from his true love. He asked with a tinge of paranoia in his voice. "That's nice, but who are you? What business do you have with that dried up old monkey?"

The child recognized Mousse's style of clothing coming from the area of China that she was from. She decided to trust the near-sighted man in front of her. "It's a matter of Jusenkyo."

Ranma, Mousse, Akane and Shampoo who was approaching the group and heard the girl all shouted. "JUSENKYO!"

Shampoo ran up to the girl, kneeling to her level. "You come from China, no?"

"I'm from China. My father works at Jusenkyo."

Ranma raised his eyebrows. "Your father? He isn't the Jusenkyo guide, is he?"

Mousse put two and two together realizing that the guide must be married to produce a child. He lamented his luck at snaring a bride. If that ugly fat man could get a wife, why couldn't he get Shampoo? "That fat guy's got a wife! I'm much better looking than him and he's the one who gets a wife!"

Shampoo slapped Mousse back to earth. "Stupid Mousse! Stop talking stupid."

The girl got impatient. "I need to see Cologne. Take me to her."

Cologne emerged from the kitchen hopping on her cane in sight of the little girl. She read her ki signature and checked her out using her ancient Amazon skills to make sure that she wasn't some sort of infiltrator or spy. Once satisfied that it wasn't a trap, she addressed the girl. "I'm the elder of the Amazons." The old woman stared at the little girl and finally recognized her. "You're Plum of Jusenkyo are you not?'

"Yes! It is I, Plum. It is good to see you honored guest." She bowed down before the matriarch by bending her stomach to arch her chest to a ninety-degree angle. She held her bow for a few seconds before coming up again. "We have much to discuss. Jusenkyo is in danger."

Shampoo dropped the dish she was holding. "Jusenkyo?"

Cologne remained steadfast. "What's happening in Jusenkyo that required you to come all the way here? You could have asked for help from the elders back in our village."

"Sorry respected elder, but my father instructed me to come here. He wanted you to protect this." She reached into her shirt and pulled out a folded brown parchment.

Cologne took the parchment and unfolded it. It was a map showing landmarks in the area of Jusenkyo. "What's the significance of this, child?"

"It is Jusenkyo's secret. My father was very specific that I give this to you and you alone."

The old woman scanned the map looking for anything out of the ordinary. "This shows the flow of water from the mountain of Jusendo to the springs. If this falls into the wrong hands, it could mean disaster."

Shampoo picked up the broken dish pieces from the floor. "How so, great grandmother?"

"The water is imbued with raw magic. It's what powers the cursed springs. If someone was to redirect or dispel the water, the springs would dry up."

Mousse went rigid with fright. "That would mean..."

Shampoo crossed her arms holding herself tight. "No more spring of Drowned Girl."

Mousse lowered his head in despair. "No more spring of Drowned Man."

Shampoo grew teary eyed. "Shampoo change to cat forever."

A part of Ranma cried out in anguish at the loss of a possible cure, but an overwhelming part of him wanted to see the springs vanish without a trace. He looked at the faces of the people he sometimes called friends and felt sympathy for them. "What do we do about it?"

Cologne led the little girl to a table. "First thing we should do is care for our guest. Shampoo, please give our guest some food. She must be hungry after such a long trip."

Shampoo bounded off to the kitchen. "Yes, great grandmother, Shampoo bring good good food for guest."

Cologne turned to Ranma and Akane. "Now, why are you two here? Aren't you supposed to be in school right now?"

Akane stepped forward since she wanted to avoid Ranma from saying something dumb. "We were asked to take this girl, Plum wasn't it? And bring her here to you. Well, since we did out good deed for the day, I guess we'll be leaving." Akane stepped back to go.

Cologne gripped Akane's arm in a vice like hold. "Not so fast, young lady. You're two hundred years too early to pull something on me." She turned to Plum. "Plum, who asked these two to escort you here?"

Plum got comfortable at a large table with chopsticks at the ready. "Oh, it was two girls who called themselves Sailor Senshi."

"Two girls you say?" Cologne looked Akane straight in the eye and read her ki. She gave a toothy grin and released her grip. "Good for you."

Akane brushed her arm. "Good for me what?"

Cologne continued her omnipotent smile. "I think you two may want to stick around for a bit. You might learn something. Shampoo! Hurry up!"

Shampoo bounded with a hastily prepared bowl of ramen. She placed the steaming hot bowl in front of Plum who ate it in a very ladylike fashion. It was not even close to how Ranma devoured a meal.

Cologne looked around the restaurant, checking for anyone who might be listening in. "Mousse! Get here as well." The myopic martial artist took a seat at the table. "Now, let's begin. First, who is after this paper?"

Plum stopped eating. "Bird men attacked my father. They wanted the secret. I barely escaped and came here."

Cologne pondered Plum's words. "Bird men did you say? You didn't see what they looked like did you, Ranma?"

Ranma answered in the best way he knew how. "Uh."

Plum slurped down a noodle. "Elder, they didn't see anything. The girls who rescued me saw them as I did. There were two men, the same two who attacked my father. One had black wings and dark skin and the other had white wings, light skin and black stripes."

The elder looked downcast. "Did these men have the ability to fly?"

"Yes, respected elder. They can fly very high."

"Lastly, did they transform into humans with cold water?"

"Yes. It rained and they lost their powers. The girl with red hair who saved me beat one up and I punished the other one."

Cologne shot a glance at Ranma who was trying to avoid attention. She snickered then stifled the laugh. "Where are the bird men now?"

Plum dropped her face. "I don't know. They got away."

"Well, if this is what they're after. They'll come here for it. We have to prepare. Feel up to it sunny boy? Ha ha ha! Sunny boy!" Cologne gave a hearty laugh that could drive lesser men insane.

Ranma looked around the table for any reason to stick around. "What's it got to do with me? I ain't no babysitter? C'mon Akane, let's get out of here."

Akane put her hands on the table to push herself away. "I'm with you."

Cologne slammed her stick to the ground. "So sunny boy, running away from a fight? That's not like you at all."

"What fight? All I saw was... Uh..." Akane poked Ranma in the ribs. "Nothin'. I saw nothin'."

The elder grinned. "Well then you've got nothing to be afraid of."

Ranma got his feathers ruffled at that remark. "Who said I was afraid? I'm not afraid of no oversized crow!"

Cologne cracked a smile. "Of course you aren't sunny boy. But you need to know a bit more about whom we're facing. Let me tell you youngsters a story." She waved her hands to get everyone to huddle around her. "There is another place with a cursed spring. It's on the top of Mount Phoenix where many birds live atop its craggy peak. Many birds drowned in the spring that exists up there and the water became cursed. The people who lived there, drank the water from the spring and in time grew wings and became part bird."

Ranma cut in. "Are these people related to the Musk?" Ranma got his head smacked with a cane.

"Be quiet sunny boy. I'm telling this story, not you. No, they are not related to the Musk. Now where was I, oh yes? These people became half bird as their natural form. They kept to themselves, rarely ever venturing away from their homeland. Something must have happened to make them travel so far away from home."

Akane tapped the table. "Why is it that these people change when hit with cold water?"

"Well the obvious answer is that they fell into the spring of Drowned Man. Perhaps it was to give them disguises to walk among normal humans."

Ranma cut in again. "So you're saying that their human forms is their cursed form and the Hawkman imitation is what they really look like? OW!"

Cologne had smacked him again. "That's just what I said. Weren't you listening to me?"

Shampoo waited for Cologne to stop hitting Ranma. "Great Grandmother, why they want map?"

The elder examined the map again looking for anything out of the ordinary. "I don't know child. We'll have to wait until they come here to get some answers."

Mousse felt his danger sense go off. He coughed to get some attention from the others around the table. "I've got to go to the restroom." He got up to walk to the back.

Shampoo gave a look of disgust. "Mousse, why you go when important meeting happen."

Mousse walked carefully to the back. "When nature calls, my darling I have to ANSWER IT!" He threw a chain at a decorative wall partition smashing it into pieces. Nothing was revealed behind the ruined wall fragments.

Cologne leapt into air and smashed the adjacent partition knocking down the two former birdmen hiding behind it. She took an attack stance and held her staff pointed at the intruders. "Who are you and what do you want?"

A tall white haired girl in a white Chinese collared sleeveless leotard with a very large sword answered from the front entrance. "I am Captain Kiima of Mount Phoenix." The girl made an imposing presence with her giant white wings folded behind her. Her bracers emphasized the look of deadliness of her razor sharp fingernails that doubled as talons.

The dark skinned black haired man that had been hidden behind the partition stood up. He wore a loose fitting light blue Chinese jumpsuit with black trim and a medium sized sword on his belt. "I'm Koruma."

The light skinned man lifted himself from the ground, pushing aside the broken partition. He had a wild forward swept mane of black hair and wore an off white jumpsuit with a cheetah pattern on the trim. His boots had a white tiger striped pattern. He was armed with a bow and arrows. "I'm Masara."

Kiima took a step forward. "You have something we want."

Cologne slid the paper into her tunic out of sight. Ranma stood forward to challenge the uninvited guests. "And what's that?"

"Hmph." She gazed at Plum who was hiding under a booth. "Give me the secret and we'll leave in peace."

Shampoo glanced at Cologne where the old woman had hidden the map. She then held out her bonbori in preparation to attack. "Why you want secret?"

Cologne held her hand to her face. Shampoo just gave away that fact that they had anything and any hope that they could have just bluffed their way out of a fight.

Kiima was nonplussed at Shampoo's show of force. "It's none of your concern. Now, if you'll give me the map, we'll leave in peace."

Plum cowered under the table in terror shaking her head back and forth in the negative. Ranma and Akane stood in front of the table to protect Plum. Cologne studied Kiima like she did to any new possible threat to her and kept silent.

Kiima studied the group back. It was obvious that they weren't going to surrender the map peacefully to her. "I see. I tried to be reasonable with you." Kiima stretched her arms wide. "Thousand Wings of the Seabird Attack!" She flapped her wings and dozens of dart like feathers flew toward the collected martial artists.

Ranma jumped out of the way. "That's it, you've got a ticket to the emergency ward."

"Aiya!" Shampoo blocked the darts with her bonbori.

"Thunder Hammer Strike!" Akane threw a ball of ki at Kiima knocking her aside but not down.

Mousse threw out a chain at Masara knocking his bow out of his hands. Kiima glared at Akane then focused on Cologne. "Give me that map!"

Cologne used her cane to pick up a bowl of steaming hot ramen. She threw it at Kiima scalding her. "Aww!" Kiima backed up out of the room holding her burns. "You'll regret this!" She ran out of the cafe with her two minions close behind. "To the skies!" She cast a hateful glare back at the group. "We will be back for what's ours."

Ranma yelled to the group. "After them!" The warriors sans Cologne charged the door. Kiima grabbed a bucket of mop water that Mousse had left near the front door and splashed the team to blind them.

A drenched Ranko jumped up and down like an idiot. "A C-c-cat!" Feline Shampoo held on the Ranko's shirt while the red head went violently insane. Mousse, blinded by the soapy water, flew into a wall knocking himself out cold. Akane slipped on the water landing on her butt, then was promptly trampled by a screaming Ranko.

Kiima watched the transformations and made mental notes for use against her possible enemies later. She ignored the melee and took to the air. Her underlings ran on the street below in pursuit of their leader. "Kiima! Don't leave us!"

"Get it off! Get if off! Oof!" Ranko ran into a post crushing Shampoo and falling on the floor unconscious.

Akane rubbed her sore behind while shaking her head in dismay. "She took us out with a bucket of water? Look at my dress!"

Cologne hopped into the middle of the dazed group. "We've got bigger problems."

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from making that bump in the night sound you hear at midnight. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 25th, 2007

* * *


	3. Bird watching

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 3: Bird watching

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or steal all of my left shoes.

* * *

Ukyou felt a great disturbance in the force. It was like the sound of millions of voices suddenly crying out and then were suddenly silenced. She turned to face the dark villain of her dream when a chalkboard eraser bounced off of her sleeping head. "Miss Kuonji! Pay attention!" 

"Huh?" Ukyou lifted her head and blew chalk dust away from her face. She made an innocent look and pointed at herself. "Who, me?"

Miss Hinako in child form walked up to the semi-awake girl. "Yes, you. I'm upset that you're sleeping in class. Do you find my lessons that boring?"

Ukyou sat upright instantly the moment she noticed the coin that the pint sized teacher was fingering in her hand. "No, teacher. Your lesson wasn't boring."

"Is that so? Well then..." She gave a childlike smile as she contemplated what sort of question that she knew Ukyou couldn't answer. "Tell me how to say 'Waiter, may I have another glass of water' in English."

Ukyou blinked and spoke in perfect textbook English with no hint of a Japanese accent. "Waiter, may I have another glass of water."

The other students gasped at Ukyou's flawless performance. Hinako was taken aback at Ukyou's instant improvement in her English skills. She raised her eyebrows and spoke only in English to her wayward student. "Well then, Miss Kuonji, it seems that you've been studying your pronunciation. Recite these lines, please." She pointed to a passage in the textbook that sat open in front of the chef. It was the same book that moments ago was doubling as a pillow.

Ukyou turned to look at the page. One side was written in high school level kanji while the passage in question was in English script. She began to read the poem written down at where her teacher's finger was pointing.

"And both that morning equally lay.  
In leaves no step had trodden black.  
Oh, I kept the first for another day!  
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way.  
I doubted if I should ever come back."

Ukyou had her eyes closed and was reciting the rest of the poem from memory. She pronounced the L's perfectly and sounded like she was a native English speaker. Hinako picked up the book reading the passage in sync with Ukyou's recital to make sure that Ukyou was reading it correctly.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh.  
Somewhere ages and ages hence.  
Two roads diverged in a wood.  
And I took the one less traveled by.  
And that has made all the difference."

There were several sighs among the girls in the class, then many of the students began to clap. Miss Hinako was fuming at Ukyou's apparent showing off of her hidden skills in English. She reverted back to Japanese for the benefit of the class. "So, you think you're being funny, Miss Kuonji. You memorized that poem didn't you?"

Ukyou blinked her eyes in surprise as she glanced around at her newfound poetry fans. "But that was one of Robert Frost's best works."

"You need to read a passage in English that you hadn't memorized." She flipped through the book to the inside cover page. "Read this."

Ukyou looked at the page in question and shrugged. "If you purchased ..."

"Translate it to English." Hinako smirked. She had Ukyou now. She was a bad girl and bad girls get punished. She flipped her 50 yen piece in anticipation.

Ukyou shrugged again then spoke in perfect English. "If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this is stolen property."

Hinako's mouth hung open in shock. Her coin fell to the floor from her limp hand. She had underestimated her student. "Miss Kuonji, it appears that you've improved your language skills considerably. Would you care to lead the class?" She waved her hand to the front of the room expecting Ukyou to get up and show everyone the true level of her skill.

"Who me? But I... You don't mean..." Ukyou felt proud and confident in the fact that she was being asked to tutor the other students. She got up to take a step to follow her teacher and tripped on her own foot landing flat on her face. "Ouch."

Miss Hinako kneeled down to help up the fallen girl. "Are you all right Miss Kuonji?"

"Heh. Clumsy me." Ukyou got up then brushed herself off and quickly fluffed up her Sailor Venus hair style. She stood up in front of the class and made a little bow. She instinctively grabbed a piece of chalk and wrote a sentence from the poem onto the chalkboard with the skill of someone who had been tutoring for years. "Now class, repeat after me..."

Yuka whispered to her friend. "I didn't know Ukyou was that good in English. When did she have time to practice?"

Sayuri answered. "I dunno. Since when was Ukyou so clumsy? She never fell down like that before."

* * *

Konatsu checked the shopping list again to make sure he was buying exactly the right number of heads of cabbage for his mistress. He checked the vendor's cart and selected eight heads of high quality cabbage, placing them in a wooden box to carry back to Ucchan's. He paid for the vegetables and began to walk back to the restaurant when he bumped into Kasumi. 

"Why hello there, Konatsu." Kasumi greeted the kunoichi with a friendly bow. "It's nice to see you today."

"The pleasure is all mine, Tendo-san." The ninja bowed in return.

"Oh, please don't be so formal. Call me Kasumi." She beamed.

"Kasumi." Konatsu smiled at the eldest Tendo sister. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine. I'm just doing the shopping for today." Kasumi eyed the box Konatsu was carrying on his shoulder. "I see you're shopping as well."

"Yes, I am. I need to get this to the restaurant before lunchtime. I'm running late. Please stop by later if you'd like to chat."

"I'd love too. See you later, Konatsu-chan." She waved at her friend.

"See you later." Konatsu turned and walked briskly back to Ucchan's. He unlocked the door, entered and closed the door behind himself. He put down the box of ingredients and quickly put them all away in their proper places. Afterwards, he put the empty box in the storage room and picked up his trusty broom to sweep up the floor.

He swept for several minutes before suddenly stopping. He lifted his head and leaned against the broomstick. "She called me Konatsu-chan." He sighed at the thought and turned to look at his reflection in the front window.

The reflection that stared back was of a beautiful girl in a waitress kimono. His long black hair tied in a ponytail shone brightly from all the care he had put into it. His lipstick and makeup made him look like a woman that wars were fought over. He lifted his hand to touch his cheek, gently stroking his skin so he wouldn't smudge his foundation.

Konatsu's mind drifted to a time long since gone by. A time when his life was different. A time when he was just a child to a very happy couple. He remembered a photograph of his beautiful mother, holding a one year old baby in her arms with a handsome man sitting next to her on a tree branch the three of them were on. He closed his eyes thinking about what his life would have been like had his mother not died shortly after that photo was taken.

Distraught and longing for female companionship, his father looked for someone to be a mother to his son. Konatsu never knew why his father married the ugly hag who became his step-mother, but the event made him what he was today. Too young to remember anything about his parents when they were alive, his step-mother and step-sisters told him all he knew of them, and their outlook made that information dubious at best. Konatsu shed a tear thinking about his long dead parents and silently wished he could see them again if only to say goodbye.

Konatsu opened his hand and gazed at the slender fingers he possessed. His fingernails were painted a light pink with a fine nail polish. He placed his hands on his chest to remind himself of what he truly was. He was a man. A man who loved a woman. A woman who didn't return the love he possessed in the way he wanted it returned. "Ukyou." He sighed.

Ukyou was the only person in many long years that had treated him with any kindness. Konatsu spent most of his life under the iron thumb of his step family, trained in the ways of the kunoichi and earning the hate and wrath of his step-sisters because of his physical beauty and his mastery of the ninja arts. He was a genius kunoichi. A ninja with the skills of a true master that only comes once in a hundred years. He was proud of his abilities and they served his true love well. But his skills came with a terrible price, his skills were all based on female ninja arts. To master these skills, he was purged of all of his masculinity and for almost all intensive purposes, he was a female.

Konatsu still had a trace of masculinity in him. His step-family hadn't purged everything from him. He still was attracted to females and only females. Males completely disgusted him. He wanted nothing to do with the male race and the thought that he was one of THEM made him want to throw up. He remembered the hundreds of times that customers of the tea shop that his step-family owned would grope him or try to fondle him or ask him out for the expressed purpose of sleeping with him. The men never did those things to his step-sisters. All the men were convinced that Konatsu was a beautiful woman, but a woman to be used as an object and not a person. Konatsu felt dirty with all the times that a man tried to kiss him on the lips as if he was a girl. He twitched his head to the side in revulsion as another memory of a grope attack flashed in his mind.

He popped his eyes open to stare at the wall behind the counter. There was a photo of Ukyou and Ranma when they were kids. He longingly studied every curve, every feature of the little girl in the picture wishing against all wishes that it was him eating the okonomiyaki next to her instead of Ranma. Konatsu imagined Ukyou was standing before him. He held out his hand to the image in his mind smiling at him, happy to see him and wanting to return his touch. His fingers slowly moved forward to the life like ghost in front of him and he whispered those words he so desperately wanted to hear in return. "I love you."

His fingers passed though the non-existent girl shimmering before his eyes like an angel and she vanished into the nothingness that she came from. He slowly closed his hand into the empty air that felt just as empty as his life seemed to be. He made a decision and gripped his broom tight in defiance to what life had given him. He walked off to his tiny room under the stairs and turned on the light within. He rummaged among his clothes and found the fancy chef uniform that Akane had purchased for him when he, Ranma and Akane were running the store while Ukyou was sick. He held up the fancy male uniform and imagined himself wearing it again. "Maybe if I dressed like a man. Maybe Ukyou will..." He shuddered at the contradicting emotions in his heart. The clothes would connect him to THEM. Those people who... Those creatures who... Konatsu wanted to rip up the uniform but elected to simply let it fall to the floor.

He crumpled into a small heap crying to himself. He was weak. He couldn't do it. He couldn't fight off his years of conditioning in accepting any part of being a member of the male species. He knew he could enjoy the company of men as friends in small doses, but the only man he could truly be a friend to was also part female.

"Ukyou." He cooed. "You could love Ranma-chan." He thought about Ranma's female form and the times that Ukyou didn't mind hugging Ranma as a red head. "Maybe..." He stared at the mirror in his room looking at the female that looked back. "Maybe... You could love me."

* * *

"Wake up, Ranma!" Akane violently shook her unconscious red headed female husband. She looked at Cologne. "Got some hot water?" 

Cologne finished drying off a damp and naked Shampoo. "I'm sorry, but I used it all on these two already. Give me a few minutes to heat up some more." She quickly lifted Shampoo's arms to thread her hands into the sleeves of one of Shampoo's favorite Chinese mini-dresses. A few more articles of clothing were slid on and then Shampoo was finally decently dressed for what passed as decency for the young Amazon maiden.

Mousse was dressing himself in a corner keeping a watchful eye on Ranko in case she or Shampoo woke up and began to cuddle. He wanted to keep those two lovebirds apart at all costs despite the fact that Ranko wanted nothing to do with the Amazon girl.

Ranko groaned then shot upright in a defensive stance looking for the creature from the pits of hell. "Is it still here?" She darted her head around looking for the feline form that haunted her nightmares.

Akane wasn't impressed. "Shampoo's over there."

Ranko felt really stupid. "Oh. It was Shampoo. Heh. Sorry about that." She looked around the Cat Cafe. "Hey, where's the bird lady?"

Cologne hopped back into the center of the room holding a teakettle. "She's long gone. Here." Ranko snatched the tea kettle and used it to return to his birth form.

Ranma shook his head like a dog to dry his hair. "Thanks for the hot water. Now, can you tell me what's really going on and who was that winged girl?"

The elder sat down at a nearby table. "What's going on is a mystery that we need to solve. Who was that girl? She told you who she was. She's Kiima of Mount Phoenix."

"Actually, I meant, what's with the wings?" Ranma got bonked on the head. "Whatcha do that for?"

"Maybe you'll pay attention to my stories." The Amazon matriarch snorted. "Mount Phoenix has a cursed spring that the people there drink from. As a result, they now have wings as their natural birth form."

"Like the... Ouch!" Ranma rubbed his head counting the ever increasing number of lumps. "Can't I finish..."

"No. You were going to say that they were like the Musk."

"Whatever. Let's go Akane."

Akane was giggling in a seat and laughed a bit more with each cane strike that Cologne was able to deliver on Ranma's thick skull. She looked down at Plum who was gently patting Shampoo's face to wake her up. "Ranma, we just can't leave her."

"Akane, what are we going to do with her? Besides, she's where she wants to be anyways." He directed his voice to Cologne. "You can take care of her, right?"

"We can take care of her for now." Cologne tapped her cane with her fingers nervously. "However, I need to make some phone calls. I've got to see what the true intentions are of the Phoenix people and why they are interested in the magical waters of Jusendo."

Akane kneeled down to Plum and smiled at her. She took a napkin and scribbled a phone number on it. "Here's my number. If you need me or Ranma, give me a call." Akane gave a cute grin.

Plum looked at the number on the napkin and then looked back at Akane. "Can you give me the numbers of the magical girls?"

Akane darted her eyes around the room and tapped her fingers together. "Uh... I can't really... because... uh..."

Cologne stepped in. "I'm certain you can get a message to them, right?"

"Well er... Maybe..."

"Akane, Ranma, may I have word with you in private?" Cologne gave a look that meant that she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Ranma crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Fine, lead the way."

Cologne hopped to the back of the Cat Cafe with the Saotomes following her. Mousse was happy to be alone with Shampoo even though she was still knocked out. "Oh my darling Shampoo!" He glomped onto her sleeping body and was instantly thrown across the room by a reflex action. Shampoo turned over and yawned, still fast asleep.

Cologne stopped once they were out of earshot of the other three people in the restaurant. "Now you two, I'm going to find out what's going on in China, but I would remind you that the Senshi owe Shampoo a favor. There is a chance I may need to call in the favor."

Akane got huffy. "What makes you think that we can get a message to the Senshi?"

Cologne gave a look of sheer annoyance. "So speaketh Sailor Io."

Akane stuttered. "S-Sailor Io? Heh. What makes you think I... I'm Sailor I-Io?"

"I've got over three thousand years of Amazon history behind me young lady. Don't you even think for a moment that you can fool me." She turned to Ranma. "And you, Sunny boy, how'd they get you into that dress?"

"Don't ask," Ranma grumbled.

Akane raised her voice. "Ranma!"

Ranma knew when the jig was up. He was hoping that Akane would get a clue. "Akane, give it up."

"I'm not a Sen..." Cologne quickly tapped Akane's arm with her cane using the Chestnut Fist technique to position her hand to reach into sub-space. She knew from the ancient texts how a Senshi calls up her magical transformation. An instant later, a henshin stick appeared in Akane's hand.

Cologne smiled triumphantly. "You were saying?"

Akane blushed. "Heh. How'd that get there?" She flicked the transformation wand back into sub-space then sank her shoulders down in defeat. "All right, we can get a message to the Senshi, but it had better be good."

The elder looked at the couple with a dash of envy. The envy was not for herself but for her granddaughter. "Honored Senshi." She bowed to them.

Ranma raised his eyebrows at the unexpected treatment from his former adversary. "Now that's different."

Cologne stood up from her bow looking at Ranma in the eye. "Someday Ranma, I would be grateful if you and your wife would share with me how you became members of the Senshi. I would consider it a great honor."

Akane scratched her head nervously. "Uh... I guess." She gestured to her husband. "We are so in trouble right now." She pointed to her watch to indicate the time.

Ranma stood there without a clue. "We're in trouble?"

Akane grabbed him by the ear. "We've already missed the first two classes, c'mon!" She painfully dragged her husband out the back door. "Oh, bye Cologne!" With that, the two vanished out the back door.

Cologne watched the display with a small giggle then hopped over to the telephone on the wall. She flicked the receiver off the hook and used her cane to dial a number to China. A few moments passed. "Hello, this is elder Cologne. I need to speak with elder Perfume."

* * *

Konatsu was sweeping up the last of the dust in front of Ucchan's when he heard a loud crash coming from the alley beside the restaurant. He spun around changing his clothes into his old almost worn out ninja suit and ran to the side alley door. He looked out to see what had made the noise. 

A strangely garbed Chinese teenager with a bow and arrows was trying to remove himself from an empty trash can. Another man was in the dumpster looking for something. He popped his head out. "Nope, it's not in here!"

Konatsu cocked his head to the side in amazement at the weirdness before him. "What's not in here?"

The two men took notice of the kunoichi and drew their weapons. The one in the blue Chinese jumpsuit spoke. "I'm Koruma and you stay back!"

Konatsu put down the broom he intended to use to scare away the stray cats he thought were in the alley. "Why? I'm not going to hurt you."

Masara asked. "Do you know Jusendo's secret?"

The ninja was puzzled. "Uh, no. What's that?"

"That's what I'm asking you, dummy!"

Konatsu emerged from inside the doorway. "Hey! Who're you calling a dummy? I'm not the one who's dumpster diving."

Koruma had an idea. "Uh, you don't by any chance have any hot water do you?"

Konatsu was instantly suspicious that these men might have some sort of Jusenkyo power up form. Requests for hot or cold water were common among the cursed. "Why do you need hot water?"

Both men produced tea bags. "It's tea time!"

Konatsu breathed a sigh of relief. "Whew. I thought for a moment that... Nevermind, I'll be right back."

Koruma called out. "Don't forget some teacups too."

Masara added. "Could you bring some sliced lemons?"

Kiima grabbed both men from behind. "And just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Koruma and Masara glanced at each other as they both knew they were going to be beaten in a few moments. "Uh... Looking for the secret?"

Kiima raised her battle aura in anger. "And you expect to find it here?"

Masara gulped. "They could have dropped it."

Koruma gasped. "They could have thrown it away."

Kiima had had enough. "It's going to start pouring rain soon, so you're stuck in your forms until the storm passes." Kiima smiled at them. "Which means?"

Koruma answered. "We're going to get wet?"

Masara replied, "We need to buy umbrellas?"

Kiima kicked both men out into the street in frustration. "Get back to the Cat Cafe you cowards and FIND THAT MAP! Watch them carefully and wait until it's no longer guarded." She spread her wings and flew into the air.

Konatsu watched the whole incident from the doorway to the restaurant. "Well I've got about an hour to kill." He took to the rooftops and followed the flying girl. In his mind, it was good training to track someone who could fly. Opportunities to follow a creature like this were very rare.

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and allows me to bounce all over my yard like Tigger.  
The poem Ukyou recited was Robert Frost's "A road less traveled." 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 25th, 2007

* * *


	4. Fun at Furinkan

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 4: Fun at Furinkan

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me the object of Mousse's obsession.

* * *

Akane ran at top speed down the street dragging her husband by the arm with a force that would tear off normal human appendages. Ranma's protests were unheeded as Akane reached the wall of the high school and jumped over it with Ranma tailing behind like a kite in the wind. She landed lightly on her feet; Ranma bounced off the ground and rolled into a heap at the base of a nearby tree, his head firmly planted in the ground and his legs pointing toward the sky. 

Stopping for a moment to catch her breath, Akane gasped, "Finally, we made it."

Ranma, still standing on his head, looked around, taking in the surroundings. Students were milling about since it was the lunch break. Some of them approached the newly arrived couple to see what was up. Ranma quickly recognized where they were while Akane was bowed, holding her knees, panting.

"Uh, Akane."

Giving an annoyed look to her inverted red shirted companion, she huffed. "What?"

Ranma kicked his legs to right himself with a simple flip. "This isn't Juuban High."

Akane stood up to look around and saw the bronze bust of Principal Kuno in the center of the grassy area. "Oh." She fidgeted a little. "Oops. I guess old habits die hard."

Ranma checked his pants pockets for his school pencils and then the back of his shirt expecting a backpack. "I think we left our school stuff at home, too."

Akane looked to the sky as she fell backwards to lean next to one of the many trees. "Oh, that's just great." She turned to jump back over the wall. "Let's get out of here and back to Juuban."

A voice boomed from behind them reminding the couple why they didn't miss Furinkan High very much. "Ah, I see that the beautiful Akane Tendo has come to date with me." Tatewaki Kuno took a step closer to the short haired girl. He saw Ranma standing next to the object of his desire infuriating the kendoist. He glared at the pig-tailed boy. "I see that you've returned to taint the sanctity of this fine establishment of education."

Ranma choked back a laugh. "The only taint here, Kuno, is you." Ranma jumped to the top of the wall with a simple hop. He waved at his wife to follow. "Are you coming, Akane?"

Kuno's face was filled with distaste and hate toward the man who dared to command his love. "So you're giving orders to those you've entrapped? How typical of one such as yourself."

Akane's eyes gleamed with fiendish delight, and then she swooned as she spun on the tip of her shoe in a 360-degree pirouette. She clasped her hands under her chin and batted her eyes at Kuno. "Oh Kuno! Let me show you how I really feel about you." Akane lowered her head and smiled the smile of a demon about to devour a dozen souls.

Kuno immediately stowed away his bokken and ran with open arms to one of his true loves that finally saw the light of his affection. "Come to me my URK..." He achieved high velocity and flew over Furinkan's clock tower at incredible speed.

Akane was breathing heavily from all the effort she had placed into her ki-powered kick. She slowly lowered her foot to the ground while panting. "Honestly, you'd think he'd figure out that I'm not interested in him by now."

"Too bad they don't take girls on an American football team. You'd make a great kicker, or was it field goaler?" Ranma held his hand over his eyes to block the sunlight as he watched Kuno fall behind the main school building. "I dunno if you should have said that to him. You might've made him think that you like him or somethin'."

"I really don't care what he thinks!" Akane stammered. "I just want that pervert to get lost!"

"Whoa!" Ranma made a warding gesture with his hands. "I guess Furinkan's already affecting you. You're starting to act like your old self again."

Akane took a step forward holding a mallet that wasn't in her hands a moment ago. "And what's THAT supposed to mean?"

Ranma hopped down from the wall to stand next to his wife. "You're so uncute when you do that."

Akane blew a gasket shouting her usual comeback, "Ranma you jerk! Come here!" She took a downward swing with her mallet, shattering a rock as Ranma narrowly jumped out of the way.

Ranma hopped backwards again to avoid his charging spouse. "What'd ya do that for? You're the one who dragged us to the wrong school."

Akane pointed an accusing finger at Ranma to utter another retort when she froze in mid-thought. "Uh... Well, it's your fault that we're late."

"My fault? Why's everything my fault?" Ranma was about to begin his standard line of insults when the other students gathered around the arguing couple.

"Akane!" Yuka called out from behind the former student of Furinkan High School. "I haven't seen you in a while! Are you coming back to Furinkan?" Yuka stood back to admire Akane's Juuban High School uniform. "Oh, I love the collar on your dress." Akane turned around to greet her old friend, dropping her battle aura that she was going to use to power another malleting attempt on her insolent husband.

Ranma sighed; he wasn't really in a hurry to get back to Juuban High School, or any other high school for that matter. He was perfectly content to let Akane's friends chill her out. He spied his old friends Daisuke and Hiroshi in the crowd and took a few steps in their direction.

Sayuri ran up to join the two girls. "Akane! What are you doing here?"

Akane tossed her mallet aside and hugged her two best friends. "Oh, we just happened to be by and thought we'd say hello."

Yuka gave a moment of thought about Akane's statement. "On a school day? Is today a day off in Juuban?"

Akane tried to think of an excuse. "Well no. We uh..."

Coming to her rescue in the hopes of keeping Akane from malleting him at a later time, Ranma answered for her. "We had to take care of some stuff for the old ghoul. But we're finished now so we've got a little time to kill before we've got to go back to Juuban."

Yuka's eyes turned into little hearts. "C'mon Akane, tell us all about it. I heard you've been hanging around the Senshi."

Ranma slumped his face toward the ground. "Word gets around doesn't it? How much did it cost you to get that info from Nabiki?"

Sayuri counted her fingers. "I think it was about 2,000 yen."

Ranma groaned. "Lovely." Akane and her friends walked a few steps away to engage in some girl talk. A shadow was cast over Ranma's body from a new person on the scene.

The Ice Queen stood next to the slumped pig tailed martial artist. "Hey Saotome, nice to see you again."

Ranma lifted his eyes to stare at the brown haired mercenary girl. "Hi Nabiki."

"Got a business proposition for your friends." She handed him a large thick manila envelope. "See that they get it."

Looking down at the envelope and noticing that it was addressed to Sailor Moon. Ranma looked up to his sister-in-law with suspicion. "What makes you think that I can give her this letter?"

"C'mon Saotome, after that little incident in the gymnasium with Happosai, the whole town knows you're up to your eyeballs in Senshi. Don't play dumb with me. Besides, I think they'd approve of what I'm proposing."

He felt the thick envelope for anything foreign inside, like bracelets, lockets or rings. "Proposing? Is there an engagement ring in this letter? I didn't know you swung that way."

Nabiki's eyes grew wide and her eyebrows twitched at the insinuation. "Akane's right. You really are a pervert, aren't you?"

Ranma turned his head away to sigh. "What are you proposing?" His mind filled with dread at a possible thought. "You're not asking to become a Senshi are you?"

Nabiki touched her lips in deep thought. "Hmm... Interesting idea, but no. I'm looking for something less stressful and more long term."

Ranma rolled his eyes to the sky and muttered quietly so Nabiki wouldn't hear him speak. "If you only knew that you serve for a thousand years."

"What did you say?" Nabiki held a hand to her hip and gestured with the other hand to the air. "Long term opportunities usually don't involve things like being attacked by monsters on a regular basis. That's not my idea of fun, Saotome. However, the merchandising and movie rights of the likenesses of the Senshi are something more of what I'm looking for." Nabiki gave a knowing smirk. She wasn't telling Ranma everything. "Make sure that she gets that letter."

He tried to hand it back but Nabiki refused to take it. "Why don't you just mail it to the Sailor Moon fan club?"

Nabiki hid her hands behind her back so Ranma couldn't shove the letter back to the brown haired Tendo. "I think it's best that it's delivered personally." Nabiki took another step backwards. "By the way, thanks for showing up today. You saved me a trip to Juuban." She turned and walked away humming a simple happy tune.

Ranma looked at the innocent looking envelope. "Oh, man. What's she up to this time?" He slid the large envelope into his shirt.

"Hey, Ranchan!" Ukyou cut in front of Daisuke, who was waiting patiently for a little time with his friend and now wondered if he was ever going to get a word to Ranma at all today. He cursed the spatula wielding girl's rudeness, but then, all the fiances were rude to anyone who stood in the way of their betrothed. She gave her patented chef's smile as she gazed at her former fiancee. "About time Nabiki left you alone. What, you're back five minutes and already in trouble?"

"Trouble?" Ranma scratched his head nervously. "What trouble?" Ranma wondered if Ukyou knew about the little incident with the bird people that morning.

"Well, really, the trouble's with Akane. She really kicked Kuno into next week. I think he landed in the pool on the other side of the school." Ukyou took a look back toward the school building to see if Kuno was returning to glomp someone. Ranma glanced in the same direction with the same thought in mind.

"Oh, well if it's Kuno you're thinkin' of. He deserved it."

Ukyou smirked. "Good thing you didn't get splashed before you got here. Then that idiot would've tried to glomp the two of you together."

Ranma buried his face in his right hand. "You mean to tell me that he still thinks that the pig tailed girl and I are different people? I showed him my curse to his face! Argh! What's it going to take to get through to him?"

Ukyou smiled at the man she really cared about. "A lobotomy maybe? Hey, didn't the Senshi say they were going to kill him if he didn't lay off you? It's been the talk of the school for weeks, something about the Senshi coming here and Senshi marriage laws or something. Could you tell me what that was all about?"

"Oh, it was just something that sounded like a good idea at the time. But he's so dense that he probably thinks it doesn't apply to him."

"So it's true? The Senshi really threatened to kill him?" Ukyou's eyes filled with hope.

"Well, yeah, but I mean, Kuno really didn't come after us right now. Akane kinda provoked him."

"Oh..." Ukyou looked glum. "Well, is he... y'know, leaving you alone?"

Ranma thought about it and couldn't think of a recent Kuno attack. "Y'know, you're right. Well wadda ya know. I think it might've worked." Ranma smiled at the thought of a life without glomps by Kuno. Now if only he could somehow get rid of Kodachi, then his life would be just a little bit more stable. Ranma stopped his little daydream at the smell of a freshly cooked okonomiyaki and followed his nose to the portable grill that Ukyou had set up while he was in thought.

"One Squid okonomiyaki comin' right up." In less than fifteen seconds, she mixed, chopped, cooked then served her famous Japanese pancake to her favorite customer. "Here ya go!" She flung the paper plate over to a grateful pig tailed martial artist.

He took a bite of the steaming hot disc. "You're the best, Ucchan. Hey, what's with your hair?"

"My hair?" Ucchan touched the top of her head wondering if the meatballs had somehow returned.

"Yeah, you look just like Minako with that red ribbon. Looks good on you."

"Minako? Who's Minako?" Ucchan fingered her spatula in anticipation for an incorrect response from her childhood friend. "Your dad didn't engage you to someone else did he?"

"Thank goodness, no! She's not another fiance! I thought you're met her. You remember her don't you? She goes to my school in Juuban. Uh, blond hair, a little tall, recites bad proverbs, uh... plays volleyball." Ranma saw Ukyou's battle aura brightening up. "Uh... I know! She was with us when we stopped by your restaurant after that bridal training with my mom. Remember?"

Ukyou dusted off her memories to find the incident in question. She remembered a time when Ranko and Akane came with five other girls all wearing kimonos. She gasped at the realization that those girls that visited were probably the Sailor Senshi. She gently lifted her hand to her head to touch the red ribbon therein and put two and two together finally arriving at the correct answer of four. Ukyou remembered the day's events and things started to make sense. A really twisted sort of sense. "Ranchan, could I talk to you in private?"

"Huh? Ya wanna talk in priiiiii..." Ranma was grabbed by the collar and yanked at high speed by a blur where Ukyou once stood. The two people vanished as a dark purple shirt and a red shirt became streaks of color and zoomed across the school grounds to disappear over the roof.

Akane, in the meantime, was busy trying to avoid answering any questions to her friends about the Senshi.

* * *

The blur of motion stopped on the roof of Furinkan High School leaving Ranma and Ukyou alone together. The chef released her iron grip from Ranma's red shirt, dropping him on the ground. "Ranchan, I don't know how to say this, but something's happening to me." 

Ranma rubbed the area of his neck where his shirt was rammed into during his little trip. This was the second time he had been dragged by someone at high speed today and if it kept up, it was going to leave a mark. "I'd say so. Since when have you been able to run so fast?"

Ukyou sat on the roof patting the space next to her to get Ranma to sit beside her. "Run fast? That's just the start. Something's really different about me."

"What's different?" He used his martial arts senses to determine that no one was in earshot. "Are you still hurt from what happened to your leg last week? I could get Sailor Saturn to heal you again."

"No, I'm not hurt. In fact, I'm better than fine." She pulled out a small spatula from her bandolier holding it in front of Ranma's face. "Watch." She held the metal end and crushed it in her hand like a beer can. Ranma was amazed at Ukyou's level of strength; Akane was the only person other than himself that could do that, as far as he knew. "That's not all." Ukyou changed her language to English. "I can speak fluent English now. I couldn't do that a week ago."

Ranma's eyes bugged out as he heard Ukyou mutter something in a language he could barely comprehend. "What'd you just say?"

Switching back to her native Japanese, Ukyou repeated her words so that Ranma could understand. "I said, I can speak English now."

"Didn't you speak English before?"

"Not fluently." Ukyou shrugged. "I think something happened when the Senshi healed me."

Ranma took a good look at his best friend. She appeared to be in perfect health. He scanned her with his ki sense and felt a wave of power coming from the seated girl. "Whoa."

Ukyou raised an eyebrow while she was bending her small spatula back into shape with her bare hands. "Whoa? Whoa what?"

"Your ki! It's, it's uh... Well..." Ranma couldn't make heads or tails of what he was seeing.

"What's wrong with my ki?" She slid the repaired spatula back into her bandolier. She gazed at her arms, looking for any sign of aura damage.

"Well... It's... Uh..."

Ukyou reached for her battle spatula from her back. "Out with it!" She stood up, taking a battle stance.

Ranma saw Ukyou's battle aura stabilize. "Your ki! It looks just like Akane's."

"What?" Ukyou bent forward with a look of utter disbelief on her face. "You're kidding me right?"

Ranma saw the aura change in color again. "Ucchan, say something in English."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. A song, a story, a menu, I don't know, I'm just trying to see if I can get your aura to stabilize again."

"Fine!" She switched to English. "I think that you're barking up the wrong tree, Ranchan."

Ranma got a good look at the aura. "Ucchan, your aura is halfway between Am.. Uh... Mercury and Venus."

Ukyou switched back to speaking Japanese. She put her spatula back then held her hands to her hips in frustration. "Huh? What? Is my aura in space?"

Ranma shook his head. "No, no... I mean your aura looks like Sailor Mercury and Sailor Venus if they were mixed. Why? I haven't got a clue."

"My aura looks like Sailor Mercury's? Is this normal?" Ukyou stared at her hands as she flipped then back and forth as though looking for anything out of the ordinary. "Why does this stuff happen to me?" She looked like she wanted to scream.

"Now your aura looks like Sailor Moon's before she's about to sob. Are you going to cry?"

Ukyou raised her battle aura in anger. "That's a pretty insensitive question Ranchan!" A mallet that Akane would be proud to own appeared in the chef's hands.

Ranma instinctively jumped back at the sight of an Akane(tm) brand mallet #2 held in a proper grip for an immediate strike. "Wait! Ucchan, I can explain!" He held out his hands to try to deflect the impending blow.

Ukyou's aura flared a bright blue. "Explain!"

"You've got Akane's aura again. Look." He pointed at the mallet. "Recognize that?"

Ukyou turned her head to see she object in her hands. She dropped it in shock. "What? How?"

"I'm going to have to find out." The mallet hit the ground and disappeared like Akane's mallets usually did after she dropped them. "It seems like you've got everybody's aura. Right now your ki is swirling different colors like a rainbow. I've never seen anything like this before."

"Is this... normal when you're healed by a Senshi?"

Ranma watched as Ukyou's ki ebbed and flowed like a tide flow then stabilize again to Ukyou's natural light blue color. "Hold your ki right there."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Ukyou's ki changed color again.

"Your ki is changing again. Um... What were you thinking about just a few seconds ago?"

"A few seconds ago?" Her stomach growled. "Lunch."

Ranma saw her ki changed to normal at the mention of the word lunch. He had a bright idea. "Are you thinking about cooking?"

"A little." Her ki flowed between Sailor Jupiter's and her own.

"Think about cooking okonomiyaki."

"What's that going to do about my problem? I can't go around like this." She felt numerous conflicting emotions and ideas as Ranma was describing her ki flow. Thoughts of old boyfriends, violin concerts, race cars, some tuxedo clad man, the color pink, an urge to hang out at a library or an arcade, and being older than time itself washed over the girl's psyche giving her a migraine.

"I need you to focus. Find your center. Think about cooking okonomiyaki and only okonomiyaki, can you do that for me?" Ranma pleaded with his eyes to his friend. "I think this is how you can balance your ki."

Ukyou trusted Ranma with all her heart. Closing her eyes, she found her center and thought of cooking her favorite food.

"That's it. Stay focused. Got it." Ranma saw her ki change back to normal.

Ukyou peeked out of her right eye. "Am I supposed to do this all day long?"

"So far, it seems to be working. How do you feel?"

"Hungry."

"Besides that." Ranma's stomach growled in response to the idea of food.

Ukyou felt her headache going away and those strange thoughts of sleeping with a green haired woman happily vanished without a trace. She really didn't know anyone with green hair and didn't want to meet her under those circumstances. "I think it's working. But I can't live the rest of my life like this."

"I know. I've got to ask somebody about this. Maybe she can give me some answers."

"But I thought you don't want to deal with Cologne again."

Ranma jerked back at the thought. "Heck no! I'm talking about Sailor Pluto or maybe Sailor Mercury. One of those two might know what to do."

The chef sighed, opening her eyes as she ended her blissful meditation. "Well, I feel normal for now. But I can't think of food forever."

Ranma was getting hungrier. "I know. Why don't you just go to Ucchan's and stay there. Would working there keep your mind on okonomiyaki?"

"I suppose. Well, school will be out in a couple of hours. I think I can last that long." She stared back at her buddy. "Please have them come to my place tonight and see if they can fix whatever's going on with me."

"I can do that. Let me get Akane and see if we can track down Set... Uh... Sailor Pluto."

"Ranchan." She sighed. "You can trust me."

Ranma held an arm out to Ukyou and held her shoulder. "I trust you." His eyes stared at a point behind the standing chef. "It's her that I've got a problem with."

Ukyou felt the presence behind her hiding in the shadows. "Konatsu?"

"Guess again. I said 'her'." Ranma walked around Ukyou to face the door to the fire escape that led inside the school building. "C'mon out Nabiki." He pulled open the door and the middle Tendo fell out onto the ground.

Nabiki got up from the ground and brushed off her dress. She smiled at the completely unamused martial artist. "Heh. Fancy meeting you here."

Ranma quickly patted Nabiki down searching for any recording device. He found a small micro cassette recorder and quickly pocketed it using his Chestnut Fist technique. He continued searching her and pulled out a second cassette recorder, then an iPod, then another recorder and a microphone. Once he was satisfied that she was devoid of bugs he confronted her. "Just what the heck do you think you're doing?"

"Can't blame me for..." Nabiki paled as Ranma pulled the envelope out of his shirt and prepared to rip it up. "Don't do that!"

Ranma was furious at Nabiki's transgression in his attempt at privacy. "And why should I? Do you think you're being funny, eavesdropping on us?"

Nabiki gulped at the stark realization that she had just crossed a line that she shouldn't have stepped over and pissed off Ranma when she needed him more than he needed her. She was in no position to be asking favors while he had caught her red handed spying on him. "Okay! I shouldn't be doing that. I made a mistake."

Ranma narrowed his eyes staring down his sister-in-law. "What did you hear?"

"Uh..." Nabiki wisely decided that the truth was the only way she was getting out of this pit she had dug for herself. "I've only been listening for a few seconds. I only heard you saying something about Sailor Pluto."

Ranma couldn't see any deception in Nabiki's confession, but then the girl was a master of hiding her true intentions. "I'll have these things checked out. If you're lying I'll see to it that whatever you propose is rejected."

Nabiki's eyes grew wide in terror as her plans went up in smoke. "Okay! I confess, I was listening for a minute and heard that you were going to check with Mercury and Pluto, but that's all I heard."

Ukyou was impressed that Ranma got Nabiki to break down so quickly. She never thought she would ever see the Tendo sister ever confess to anything. "What's so special about that envelope? Got pictures or something?"

Ranma snorted in disgust. "Nah, she wants me to give this to Sailor Moon." He held the envelope for both girls to see. "I should destroy it to teach you a lesson."

The mercenary girl tried to regain her pride. "I have copies."

"Yeah, but I'll see to it that Sailor Moon won't agree to anything that involves you."

Smiling, but not too much to annoy Ranma any more than he already was, Nabiki was happy she was able to get one fact cleared up. "At least I know that you do know Sailor Moon."

"Here." Ranma tossed the envelope back to Nabiki. "Once you learn to butt out, I'll deliver your message. Until then, just forget about your proposal to the Senshi."

Raising her eyebrow in minor surprise, Ukyou put in her two yen worth, "I suspected you went that way, Nabiki. Which Senshi?"

Glaring at Ukyou with a stare that would freeze a lake, letting the chef know that that wasn't the intent, Nabiki held her envelope in her hands quivering at the magnitude of her error. She was so used to eavesdropping on Ranma that she, for a moment, had forgotten that she had asked for a favor and now risked a set of plans that she had spent months preparing. Nabiki was going to graduate from High School in five weeks and she held in her hands the possibility of setting herself up for life. She had to salvage this deal at all costs. "Ranma!"

Ranma turned away from Ukyou as Nabiki got his attention again. "What?"

She gave Ranma the puppy dog eyes and pouty face. "I'm sorry. Please, I really need you to take this to Sailor Moon."

Ukyou smiled, "So it's Sailor Moon you're in love with."

Flaring a battle aura, Nabiki made fists in anger. "No! You sicko, I'm not a pervert!"

Ranma's defenses shattered at his main weakness toward the female race, the puppy dog eyes. He couldn't resist the puppy dog eyes and Nabiki knew it. He tried to fight it off valiantly but was losing the battle terribly. "What's in the envelope?"

With nothing to lose and everything to gain as far as she was concerned, Nabiki went for broke and spilled her guts. "I have the copyright and trademark on Sailors Sun and Io."

Shuddering and going white as a sheet in the process, he grabbed the envelope from Nabiki's hands and looked at the contents. Inside were photos of Sailors Sun and Io while they were fighting the Godzilla creatures and when they fought Happosai. There were artist's renditions of Senshi with names like Sailor Rhea, Titan, Charon, Phobos and other heavenly bodies. He slid out a pencil sketch with the name of Sailor Rhea and held it out for Nabiki to see. "Who's this?"

"I made it up."

"You made up Sailor Rhea?"

Nabiki twiddled her thumbs. "I needed an image to reserve the name."

"You know there is no Sailor Rhea, right?"

"Well, there wasn't a Sailor Sun or Sailor Io until recently."

Ranma shook his head slowly wondering if he should transform and teleport his sister-in-law to a nearby asteroid or congratulate her on her ingenuity. He pulled out a picture of his Senshi alter ego. "You trademarked Sailor Sun. Why?"

Nabiki loved talking about her favorite subject, business. "Simple, right now the Sailor Moon fan club is making big bucks selling Senshi merchandise. I'm proposing that I set up Senshi Enterprises and cut the Senshi in on the profits."

"Of all the hair brained, crazy, mindless, selfish..."

Grinning, Ukyou butted in. "That sounds like a wonderful idea."

Ranma was incredulous that Ukyou would even think about siding with Nabiki. "What? She's trying to profit off of the Senshi!"

"Well Ranchan, is the Sailor Moon fan club sharing any profits with the Senshi now?"

"Uh... I don't think so. Wait, how would you know?"

Ukyou remembered when she found out about Sailor Sun being Ranma. Ranma was adamant about being a Senshi was an unpaid position. "You once told me that the pay sucks."

Ranma contemplated his pathetic bank account balance. "Well duh! Senshi don't get paid."

Nabiki went for the jugular and refused to let go. "Now we can correct this problem." She put the pieces together from what she heard and took a calculated risk. The middle girl didn't get where she was without taking proper risks from time to time. "I can set up a foundation in which we can launder money so the Senshi can keep their identities a secret. I can manage this so that we can make a great deal of money that the Senshi won't have to worry about working ever again." Nabiki was on a roll. "Why, we could make a command center with the latest high tech toys, fight crime and fight for love and justice. The movie deal alone could net us billions of yen!" Her eyes glazed over at the idea of the biggest score of her career.

Ranma's jaw dropped. "Command center? You've flipped."

"Book deals! Monthly Mangas! I can see an Anime TV series about them! Imagine the possibilities!"

"You're crazy! Who'd want to watch an Anime about a bunch of magical girls?"

Ukyou smashed Ranma on the head with her spatula. "I would, you Jackass!" She turned to Nabiki. "When would they premiere the first episode?"

Nabiki smiled. She knew she was on the right track.

* * *

"C'mon Akane, you can tell me." Yuka asked for the seventeenth time. "What're the Senshi really like?" 

Sayuri swooned. "I heard that Tuxedo Mask is really romantic. Tell me, does he really fight for love and justice with a rose?"

Akane choked. "Rose? Yeah, he fights with a rose." She sat thinking about Tux-boy's weapon and didn't have the heart to tell her friends that she thought it was pretty stupid to fight with plant parts.

"Can you arrange for us to get their autograph?" Yuka pleaded.

Sayuri pulled a photograph from her bookbag. "Yeah, could you get her to sign mine?"

Akane sighed for the tenth time during the conversation. "Okay, but no promises. Which Senshi do you want an autograph from?"

"This one!" They both shouted as they handed Akane color photos that looked like something that Nabiki would sell. Akane took the pair of photos and sighed for the eleventh time. "It figures. Just what she needs to feed her ego." The photos were both of Sailor Sun.

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and prevents me from strip searching your house plants. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 25th, 2007

* * *


	5. Bird Stalking

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 5: Bird stalking

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or have me test live bombs with a hammer for quality control.

* * *

Hair billowing outward in the breeze, Konatsu sat hidden on a branch in a tall tree. He had been keeping his body completely still and quiet to avoid attracting any attention from his prey. He squatted low so that the bird woman he was tracking wouldn't detect him from his perfect vantage spot. The white haired woman had flown over half of Nerima to settle on the rim of a tall smokestack in an abandoned factory at the edge of the ward. The kunoichi kept vigil as the winged girl collected material from the nearby trees and created a nest. It was very large and appeared to have the strength to be able support the weight of several hundred kilograms. 

Konatsu glanced at his watch under his ninja sleeve to check the hour as time passed by. He needed to be back at Ucchan's in time for his mistress' arrival so the two of them could get the restaurant open for the after school crowd. He saw that he had just enough time to get back before Ukyou did if he left in less than a minute. He reached into his ninja costume, pulled out his digital camera, and took a few more silent snapshots of the odd happenings before jumping out of the tree and running back to his home at Ucchan's. He kept out of sight as he roof hopped away.

Kiima stopped tying two branches together with a cord to glance around. She felt a chill for an instant as if she was being watched. She hid in the nest until her combat senses told her that it was all clear. She resumed her work creating a temporary home since she felt that she was going to be spending a few days in Nerima to get the map of Jusendo from the people helping Plum.

A sound of someone climbing the ladder attached to the smokestack attracted Kiima's attention. She pulled out her sword in preparation to lop off the head of the uninvited guest. She heard a familiar grunt and relaxed her guard since she was familiar with the person who made that sound. Masara popped his head over the rim of the smokestack with a happy look on his face. "We got it!"

Kiima's stern look melted away into a face of cautious joy. "You did? Excellent! Did the landlings give you any trouble?"

The avian archer climbed into the nest holding a brown paper bag with yellow arches on it. "No. No trouble at all." He turned around to help up his companion over the rim and into the nest.

Koruma held out an identical bag as Masara. "I got one too!"

Kiima nodded her approval then slid her sword back into its sheath. "Well, give me the map." She held out her hand expectantly.

The two men looked at each other in confusion. Masara shrugged. "The map? We didn't get that."

Kiima blinked in confusion. She smiled at the only other possible reason her men had come back to her. "Where did you take the girl then?"

Koruma paused as he thought of his Captain's request. "We didn't get her either."

Kiima's eyebrow twitched. "Then, what DID you bring back?"

Koruma reached into his bag and pulled out some trading cards. "They had them in stock today at McDonald's."

The Captain's face fell in stark realization that she wasn't going to like what she was going to hear. "McDonald's?"

Masara was giddy with glee as he held out his newly acquired prized possessions. "I got the Blue Eyes White Dragon!"

Koruma held out his Yu-Gi-Oh card that he had found in his happy meal and proudly displayed it to his Captain. "Mine's better! I got the Dark Magician!"

Masara glared at Koruma for such a false statement about his Yu-Gi-Oh card. "No, the Blue Eyes is a better card."

"No, the Dark Magician is the better card. Look at the stats!"

"Blue Eyes!"

"Dark Magician!"

Kiima's battle aura increased with each sentence the men spoke in their pitiful argument.

"Blue Eyes!"

"Dark Magician!"

Kiima shouted with the volume that rattled windows for kilometers. "You MORONS!" The men froze as the fear of a horrible doom was to be cast down upon them. Kiima continued her rant with slow, methodical use of words, with each syllable containing more anger then the previous one. "You were supposed to stake out the Cat Cafe until they left the map unguarded and you got TRADING CARDS!" Her voice echoed across the landscape.

Masara trembled. "But they just got today's shipment of cards."

Koruma sheepishly whispered. "I've always wanted a Dark Magician."

Kiima stepped closer to her minions, clenching her fists as she approached them. "You want dark? I'll give you dark." The beatings continued until morale improved.

* * *

The figure stood at the edge of an empty pool holding a wooden bucket filled with bathing supplies. A statue of a falcon sat nearby with a small 'Out of Order' sign hanging from its beak that was in reality a water spigot. The presence spoke with authority to his elder servant. "This does not please me." 

An old Chinese man with feathered wings that covered his back trembled in sheer terror as he bowed down before the foreboding visage in front of him. "My Lord, we are working on the problem."

"Working on the problem?" The lord of the manor shouted. "I don't want you to be working on the problem! You are to be working on the solution!" He threw the wooden bucket in fury at the old man's head.

The old man stayed down and rubbed the top of his head to relieve the pain coming from his new lump. "Lord Saffron, you have every right to be displeased. Rest assured that we are working on a solution and will have your bath ready soon."

Saffron frowned, and then pointed his finger at his servant. The almighty lord of the realm was dressed in white regal robes befitting of his station as the supreme ruler of Phoenix Mountain. The leader showed his distaste to the situation at hand with a scowl and clentched fists. "I haven't had a hot bath in four days. I do not wish to smell like a commoner. You will fill this tub with water before the sun goes down or you face my wrath." He held out a strange looking metal staff with a meter wide circle on one end. The staff glowed with an unnatural reddish light contained within. "Cold water will be acceptable for now. I will heat the water myself this time, but next time, I expect the water to flow as it should and at the proper temperature."

"As you command your highness." The elder waved to some handmaidens who were hidden out of sight waiting for the old man's signals. They ran in and tossed buckets of water into the empty pool then ran out to get more water. The maidens ran outside to call the others of the village to join them in flying to collect water for their lord. The spring that sat in the middle of the courtyard was dry as a bone. The nearest source of water lay at the base of Jusendo falls, several kilometers away. It was going to take the efforts of the entire village to collect enough water to satisfy their master's needs.

Lord Saffron gave a look of pure disgust at the water filling his bath. "Common water. Bah! The depths I have to sink to accommodate your carelessness."

The old man tried to explain. "We didn't expect..."

"**SILENCE!** The only reason I spare you is because you have served me well and my time is at hand. But hear my words, if you fail me in preparing for my ascension..." Saffron held out his brightly glowing weapon to emphasize his point. He touched the tip to a small stone statue of a falcon and the bird disintegrated on contact. "Don't fail me."

The old man crawled away with a promise. "I won't fail you my Lord." The elder thought quietly to himself as he left his Lord's bath chamber. "Kiima, please get back quickly. I don't know how long his patience will last."

* * *

Akane rolled her eyes to the sky as she gave up trying to avoid her friend's questions. "Okay, okay, the Senshi are... Well... They are..." She tried to put what it was like to be friends with the Senshi into words and failed as miserably as her husband's attempts to say something without putting his foot in his mouth. 

Yuka and Sayuri had googly eyes as they waited for Akane's answer. Yuka egged Akane on with a gentle poke in the Tendo's shoulder. "C'mon Akane. Tell us."

She thought about how the Senshi came together as a team and how they worked with and trusted each other without question when they were in combat. It was like something she was born to be a part of. Born to be... "It's like a family." She said proudly.

Yuka cocked her head at the mystery of Akane's statement. "Family? Are they related to each other?"

Akane choked a laugh while dreading the thought of being actually related to Usagi. Though the idea of being related to Kuno was worse. At least seppuku was an attractive and available option in the latter case. She blinked her eyes as she formulated a response, hoping she wouldn't be chewing on shoe leather in the next few seconds. "No, umm... They're close to each other, kind of like siblings. Why, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars fight each other like kids all the time."

Sayuri sat up. "You sure about that? I heard that Sailor Mars nearly died for Sailor Moon more than once." She held out a manga that had the details. She opened the book and pointed to a page near the end. "See, here's where she told Sailor Moon to go on and defeat Queen Beryl."

Where did they get that information from? Akane thought silently wondering if what was in the manga was true, or the figment of some author's imagination. She nodded to confirm Sayuri's question on what she know to be correct. "That's true. Mars got burned pretty bad saving Moon from a Godzilla's fire breath attack. I know for a fact that she would rather die than let anything happen to her. Honestly, all of the Senshi would give up their lives to protect the Moon Princess." Akane paused for a moment as she realized that she meant every word she said. She would gladly give up her life to protect Sailor Moon just like all the others. She proudly smiled at herself.

Yuka was holding her cheeks in shock. "Sailor Mars got burned? Where is she? What hospital is she at?"

Sayuri shivered. "Can I send her flowers? How about a get well card?"

Akane snapped out of her trance to come back to reality. "Don't worry you two. She's fine now. One of the things a Senshi can do is heal really fast. They can heal even faster than Ranma."

"They can?" Yuka looked around for Ranma. "I heard that Ranma had all of his bones broken once and he was only at Dr. Tofu's clinic for a few days. The Senshi can heal faster than that? Wow."

Akane remembered that. It was when she was under the influence of the Reversal Jewel and after it was removed, she belted him across the street. There, he was pummeled by Kuno and Ryoga. Even though Ranma was covered from head to toe in bandages, he was out of there in only three days.

Sayuri looked around for Akane's husband as well. "Where is Ranma anyways?"

The Furinkan clock tower chime rang out signaling the end of lunch break. Akane looked around and saw Daisuke and Hiroshi sitting at a lunch bench but Ranma wasn't with them. "Oh, great. That pervert's probably stuffing his face with Ukyou's okonomiyaki again."

Yuka hit her fist into an open palm in thought. "That's right. Ukyou was talking to him a little while ago."

"Well that settles it." Akane held her hand over her eyes to block out the sunlight as she scanned the area for her wayward husband. "Where is that idiot?" She closed her eyes, focusing her Martial Arts senses to detect her spouse's ki signature. She felt his presence at the top of the main school building with the clock. "Found him."

Sayuri took a step back from Akane. "A-Akane, what did you just do? You were glowing blue."

"Huh? Oh, that. It's just a ki manipulation. Ranma taught it to me."

"You can manipulate your ki? You mean... Could you do that light thing that Ranma does when he fights?"

Akane aimed her hands at the ground and focused her ki. "You mean, like this?" She formed a small ball of blue ki in her hands, then fired it at a small rock in the grass, shattering it to pieces.

Yuka looked away as pebbles peppered her face. She turned to examine the tiny crater in the ground. "Wow, Akane. That's really cool!"

Sayuri crossed her hands in front of her chest. "Why didn't you use that on Kuno?"

"Nah, that's overkill. All he needs is just a good swift kick in the..."

"Mrs. Saotome, are you being a delinquent?" A pint-sized teacher commanded the former Tendo while holding a certain five-yen coin in a threatening manner. "There will be no use of ki attacks at this school. Besides, you're not a student here anymore nor are you wearing the proper uniform if you were." She looked up and down at Akane's sailor style high school uniform.

Akane stepped away from the chi-vampire. She didn't want to end her day as a dried up husk. "We're leaving right now. Just let me find my husband, okay?"

Miss Hinako smiled. "Don't be a delinquent, Mrs. Saotome." She slid her coin into her dress pocket. "Just don't let it happen again." She skipped away toward the main school building humming the theme song of the "Powerpuff Girls".

Yuka and Sayuri stared at each other for a moment. They turned to Akane and Sayuri spoke up. "Boy, she's in a cheerful mood. She usually drains first and asks questions later."

Akane shrugged off the incident. "I'm not going to push my luck. See you later." She waved at them and ran over to the school building at a very high speed. She jumped up three floors in a single bound, bounced off a windowsill and disappeared over the lip of the roof.

Yuka gasped. "Since when can Akane do that?"

"She's married to Ranma. What did you expect?"

"You'd almost think she was a Sailor Senshi."

The two girls instantly froze. They slowly turned to face one another and held that look for a quiet moment in deep thought. They both shook their heads in unison. "Nah!"

* * *

"I'm sorry, Ranchan! I didn't mean to hit you! Oh, dear, I'm acting like Akane." Ukyou shook Ranma to try to revive him, failing miserably. She held his head in her lap and patted his cheek to awaken him. 

Nabiki let out a simple sigh. "It's no use. He's going to be out for a while. You'd better get to class." Nabiki left the roof through the stairwell.

"This is just great. Here it is, I finally get some time with him alone and he's out like a light." Ukyou drooped in defeat. "I can't ever get a break, can I?"

Ranma whispered something in his sleep. Ukyou paused and heard him say something again. She moved her ear closer to his mouth to make out what he was saying. Ranma whispered again and the words pierced her heart as if she have been impaled by a javelin. "I... love... you..."

Ukyou gasped in hope and fear. "Ranchan... Y-you... L-love..." She trembled at the words she thought she had heard from her best friend in the world. "Please Ranchan... Tell me it's true."

"I love you..." He turned his head in her lap and held out his arm as if to grab someone. "Akane."

Ukyou's head limply rolled backward as she lost all feeling in her soul once again. "Why! Why do I keep torturing myself?"

"Torturing yourself? Honestly, being around him is torture enough." Akane kneeled next to Ukyou to get a closer look at her sleeping spouse. "So, why's he like this?"

Ukyou looked away in embarrassment. "He, uh..." She dropped her head in shame. "I did it. I hit him. I'm sorry."

Akane scowled at Ukyou for a second then grinned at the chef. "Did he deserve it?"

Ukyou shot a look at Akane seeing that the short haired girl wasn't mad. She grinned back. "Actually, yes, he did deserve it."

The two girls giggled for a moment. Ukyou heard the tardy bell ring again. "Oh no!" She shot up, knocking Ranma off of her lap and onto the gravel that covered the roof. "I'm going to get my ki sucked out. Gotta go!" Ukyou ran to the side of the building and jumped off. She landed perfectly on the windowsill of her classroom and jumped into her seat just as Miss Hinako walked in.

"Miss Kuonji, please use the door next time." She was very happy and chipper as if nothing was going to ruin her day today.

"Yes, teacher." The chef sat at attention in hopes of keeping her ki intact.

Akane brushed away some gravel from Ranma's face to clean him off while he was sleeping. Akane sat alone, placing her husband's head in her lap. The short haired girl ran her fingers gently through his black bangs as she savored this peaceful moment together. Ranma whispered again. "I love you, Akane." He reached out again and held her waist. Akane resisted the immediate urge to mallet him for being a pervert, but then allowed him to hold her.

"I'm so sorry, Ranma." She felt his cheek and lightly scratched his back. "I don't really mean to hit you. I want you to touch me." She felt his breath on her navel as he breathed faster. She scratched his head the way he liked it when they were in bed together.

"Oh, did you get the number of that truck?" Ranma rubbed his head as he regained consciousness.

Akane blurted out an answer she made up on the spot. "It was 452-XYZ."

"Huh?" Ranma's eyes regained focus as he digested the information given to him. The world appeared twofold and shimmered and drifted until he saw only one image. The face of Akane smiling at him came into view once the world stopped spinning.

"Did you have a nice nap?" She smiled.

Ranma sat up with little yellow stars still orbiting his skull. "Remind me not to insult Ukyou's taste in Anime."

"Oh, is that why she decked you?" Akane rubbed Ranma's shoulders. Ranma was suspicious since Akane wasn't usually this nice. Akane used the heel of her hand to put pressure on his spine making Ranma grunt in pleasure.

"Yeah, a little lower. Lower." He squeaked as she touched a little too low in the back. Ranma spun his head in all directions hoping that a member of the fiance brigade wasn't watching Akane's public display of affection. "Too low!"

Akane shifted her position to sit directly behind Ranma, and then kneaded his shoulder blades. "Is this better?"

"Yes." It was all Ranma could utter as his brain shut down and gave in to muscular ecstasy. Ranma wanted desperately to ask why his wife was acting weird but wisely decided to sit back, shut up and enjoy the ride.

She rubbed his back for another minute before getting back to business. "Let's get back to Juuban before someone else shows up."

Ranma's eyes flipped open and he regained all motor control once again. He stood up slowly then took in their location. "Well, Juuban's a twenty minute run or..." He produced his henshin stick. "A one second teleport."

Akane shouted out her transformation phrase. "Io Lumina Power! Make Up!" Sparks and flames announced the arrival of the Senshi of Io.

Ranma did a check of the area to see if Nabiki was lurking anywhere. A transformation later, the Senshi of the Sun held onto her wife. "Sun Beam Transport!"

* * *

Cologne felt a surge a power coming from the direction of Furinkan High School. A moment later, it was gone. She giggled to herself. "Showing off again, eh, Sunny boy?" 

Mousse came out of the storage room holding two cases of uncooked noodles. Cologne pointed to where she wanted the boxes placed. "Put them over there." He nodded, and then moved over to the corner to gently put the boxes down on the floor.

A knock came from the back door, and a middle-aged Chinese man stood in the doorway. Shampoo approached the visitor then leapt to glomp him the instant she recognized him. "Father!"

The man was knocked down so suddenly, that his hat remained in the air for a few seconds while he and Shampoo flew out into the alley. He landed on his back on top of a black plastic trash bag. He returned the affectionate hug to his energetic child. "Daughter, I missed you."

"Father, Shampoo miss you too." Shampoo hugged her dad in a bone-crushing embrace usually reserved for Ranma. Her father gasped for air.

Cologne tapped on Shampoo's shoulder with her cane. "I think you'd better release your father before he dies. You must never forget how fragile men are."

Shampoo relaxed her grip, but she still held on to her father's waist. She had a look of joy on her face for being in the presence of her parent. "Father come to stay with Shampoo?"

"Yes. I've come as Grandmother has asked." He inhaled deeply as the Amazon crush of death was released from him.

The Amazon matriarch gave a slight bow to her grandson. "It was fortunate that you were absent recently, you missed the problems we've had with that demon Happosai. It is good that you're finally here, for your presence is a welcome one. We are in need of your labors since the cafe is doing well and we are short on good workers."

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to get here. But there was an earthquake near the village and I had to wait until the roads were declared safe."

The elder raised an eyebrow at this unexpected news. "Earthquake? What earthquake?"

"Don't worry, Grandmother. It was not close enough to the village to cause any harm. The only area that was really affected was over near Jusendo falls."

Cologne widened her eyes at the news. "What more can you tell me about the falls?"

The Chinese man pulled on his long mustache as he thought. "Hmm... Not much more. Oh yes, the falls seem to pour more water out than usual, but they still flow."

The elder filed away this information for later use, since Phoenix Mountain was close to Jusendo falls. "Have you any news from home that you can share with us?"

"Yes." He reached into a deep pocket in his Chinese robe that he wore and pulled out several scrolls bound with string. "The council wished for you to receive these."

Cologne knew official edicts from the council when she saw them and she was seeing them now. She took the scrolls from her grandson-in-law worrying about what they possibly could contain. "Thank you. I'll leave you two alone to talk about your journey. I must read these in private."

Shampoo hopped over to her great-grandmother and peeked at the rolled up scrolls. "What news from home?"

The elder gave a look of seriousness that she usually didn't direct at her great-granddaughter. "I have to read these in private my dear. They're official business. Please show your father to his room and make him feel at home."

"Okay!" Shampoo happily bounded off.

Cologne hopped on her cane to her room, locked the door and opened the scroll with a wax seal. She trembled as she unrolled the message. She slowly read the official edict. She read it again. She read it slowly during her third pass growing in anger at the words present on the parchment. "Damn them! Damn them all!"

She unlocked her filing cabinet and tossed the scroll into the bottom drawer in disgust. "Of all the times they could do this, why now? I was promised at least another year." She eyed the remaining scrolls. "I hope one of these other scrolls has word on what's happening on Phoenix Mountain."

* * *

Nodoka was sitting in the tiny living room examining the photos of four homes that she had decided that she wanted to take her children to see. They were all expensive, but with the money she had, the down payment would make the monthly payments affordable. She glanced at the untouched school bags and worried about her son. 

A flash of light in the bedroom laid her fears to rest. "Ranma? Is that you?"

Sailor Sun peeked out of the bedroom. "Yep. It's me."

"Oh, good. Are you finished with your duties for today?"

Sun paused in thought then looked down at her Senshi garb. "I think so. There's no use in going to school right now since it's pretty much over for the day." She shrugged. She wasn't in the mood to go to school on any day and having a good excuse made it all the better.

"Excellent, my son, I'd like to take you and Akane with me. Could you get dressed? I want to take us to some places that we could live." She brushed off Sun's mini-skirt with her open hand. "I don't think you'd want to go out in your Sailor Senshi uniform. Or do you?"

Sun stood up straight and tall. "And why not? It would be an honor for me to escort you around town, Mom."

Akane came out of the bedroom after dropping her Sailor Senshi guise. She was back to wearing her Juuban High uniform. "Can it, fire bug. Go get dressed into something less flashy."

Sun concentrated to make the Senshi uniform vanish and was clothed in a silk red shirt and black drawstring pants that were a bit too big for her. "Nag, nag, nag." Ranko went into the kitchen to get some hot water to change back to her birth form.

Akane turned to her mother-in-law. "Where're we going?"

She held out the four photos. "These places are the best of the bunch. If we hurry, we can see them all today."

Ranko craned her head to get a good look at one of the maps. "I can teleport us in a jiffy."

Akane and Nodoka looked at Ranko as if she had turned purple and sprouted wings. Akane shook her head. "Ranma, we're supposed to keep our identities a secret. Teleporting all over town with your mother is going to give you away. Besides, it's going to make her sick."

Ranko scratched her head in embarrassment remembering that the Senshi aren't affected by the teleportation, and normal people could get sick from the vertigo. "Heh. I forgot about that." She poured a glass filled with hot water onto her head to change back to being Mrs. Saotome's son. "That's much better. If only I could change back directly into a guy when I drop the Sailor Sun form."

"Well you can't, Mr. Senshi." Akane joked. She tossed a towel at Ranma who grabbed it and quickly dried his hair.

Nodoka picked up a wrapped bundle and held it closely to her chest. Ranma glanced at the Saotome honor blade that hung on the wall of the apartment. His mother gave it to him for his birthday a few months ago. "Mom?"

Ranma's mom stopped just before she reached the front door. She gently turned to look at her son. "Yes, dear?"

"Your katana. Where did you get it? Is there another Saotome blade?"

"You mean this?" She held the cloth wrapped sword tight. "It's..." She turned away. "It's a family heirloom."

"It is?"

"Yes. But please, let's go now. I don't want to keep the real estate agent waiting." Without another word on the subject, she opened the door and left. Ranma and Akane exchanged worried glances and followed her to the first house on the list.

* * *

Usagi Tsukino, the future queen of Crystal Tokyo, was lonely in class and soon would be lonely at detention for being fashionably late to school again. Ranma and Akane hadn't shown up when class started and they hadn't arrived during lunch break either. She tapped her fingers on her Senshi wristwatch communicator hoping that it would vibrate signaling a message from her two missing warriors. 

She got her wish as she felt a tingling in her wrist signaling an incoming message. She pressed the button to acknowledge that she was present but couldn't answer. She read the message on the display. "Sun, Io Found. No worries. Luna."

Usagi blew on her bangs to push them away from her eyes. She felt much better now. She was going to have to ask why those two didn't call in on their status. She had sent Luna over to their apartment to find out what happened and it appeared that it wasn't serious. If it was, Luna would have sent a more urgent message.

Usagi was worried when they hadn't come to school and she wanted to know if they were okay. The moon princess was a nervous wreck and had the other Inner Senshi all worked up in panic thinking that Sun and Io had been kidnapped or worse. The words Akane and kidnapping for some reason went hand in hand.

She sulked at her desk, not really paying attention to the teacher as he explained the history of World War II to the class. She quietly thought to herself. "I wish Mamo-chan was here to help me with my homework." Her face fell forward onto the desk as she drifted into a little nap. A flying eraser brought her back to rapt attention.

"Miss Tsukino, please stand in the hall."

"Ah, man." She got up to take her punishment. "When I become queen. You're on my list."

The class chuckled. Usagi smiled in response. If they only knew what she knew.

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and makes me stop listening to the voices in my head. They tell me many things. Happy things... Hee hee hee... 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 25th, 2007

* * *


	6. Ancient Laws

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 6: Ancient Laws

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or sell me off for medical experiments.

* * *

The clouds were floating lazily in the sky. Their images were reflecting on the shimmering surface of the ocean waters. The fluffy white puffs were visible all the way up to the red tinted horizon where the sun was dipping down behind the edge of the world in preparation for it's evening nap. Tatewaki Kuno stood on the sandy beach, steadfast in his dramatic pose gazing at the two visions of beauty that had come before him. 

The pig tailed girl was wearing a flowing white sun dress, a frilly big browed hat with a green bow tied around the dome covering the top of her head. Her hair flowed with the wind as did the hem of her skirt. "You're here for me, darling!"

Akane Tendo radiantly wore a lavender one piece swimsuit that hugged her body in all the right places. She had a long sleeve shirt tied around her waist acting like a skirt to give a bit of modesty. A flower in her hair accented her perfect flawless face. "How I have awaited you, my love!"

Both girls stood away from the beach in a field of flowers stretching out as far as the eye can see. They held hands and watched lovingly as their saviour walked steadily and purposefully toward them.

Kuno stopped two meters before the pair of radiant maidens. "I see that you've been awaiting my arrival. 'Tis I, Tatewaki Kuno, age 18, the shining star of Furinkan High, the one who has come to answer your call."

"Oh, Kuno, what could I have done without you?" The pig tailed girl swooned as she kept herself from fainting in the presence of one so great.

"Tachi! Why have you taken so long to take us into your arms? Wait no longer! Take me!" Akane took a step forward to embrace her love when the pig tailed girl pulled her back.

"I want to hold him first!" The red head pushed Akane to the ground. "Take me!" She lunged forward to grab Kuno in an Amazon type glomp.

Or tried to, as she fell face first into the ground, Akane smirking triumphantly as she let go of the shorter girl's leg. "Oh no, you don't! He's mine!"

The pig tailed one spun her head in anger toward the short haired girl. "He's mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

The two girls stared lighting bolts into each other's eyes as they made feral growls. Neither wanted to give ground as they both claimed Kuno as their own.

Akane gave a roar as she body slammed the other girl. She clawed her fingernails into the pig tailed one's dress, ripping off sections as the pair rolled around in the flowers. Not to be outdone, the red head snarled as she tore into Akane's swimsuit changing her one piece into a two piece with just one rip.

Kuno was pleased at the show of affection of his true loves. "Now girls, don't fight, I love you both." He held out his arms to calm down and embrace the pair of combatants.

Akane and the pig tailed one stopped their fight to allow Kuno to grab them and hold one girl in each arm. Akane's eyes glazed over in total adoration of the one she loved. "Oh, Kuno baby!"

Cooing softly, the pig tailed one rested her head on Kuno's strong shoulder. "Are you going to sleep all day?"

Kuno blinked at the non sequitur. He had an unclean thought as he believed the girl implied that she wanted to sleep with him and him alone. He held back a nosebleed as other more pleasant happy thoughts entered his mind, or what little passed for his mind anyway. "Very well my loves, shall we retire to my chambers?"

Akane hugged Kuno tightly around his arm. "YES! Take me now, Kuno baby!"

"Let's go!" The red head tugged Kuno's sleeve to take him over to the castle that just appeared nearby.

The threesome took a few steps in the direction of Castle Kuno when a challenge was heard. "Where are you going with MY boyfriend?" A pair of silhouettes stood before the setting sun blinding anyone trying to look at who these people were.

A second female voice rang out her demand. "Get away from my Tachi!"

Smiling at recognizing the voices, Kuno answered the call. "Sailor Sun! Sailor Io! Come to me! I have enough love for all of you."

The pair of girls leapt to the sky and landed only three meters away from the trio. Sailor Sun lunged forward grabbing Kuno around the waist with a grip that Shampoo would have been proud of. "My hero!"

The kendoist flew backwards onto a bed of roses, petals scattering everywhere and not a thorn to be found. He was lying on his back with the Senshi of the Sun snuggling his midsection. Seconds later, he was surrounded by three other kneeling girls who doted over him. He breathed a sigh of contentment, knowing that life just couldn't get any better than this.

Akane tapped his cheeks, "Kuno baby, wake up."

Sailor Io, keeling on the other side of his face gently touched his cheek. "Are you going to lie there all day?"

Kuno sat up quickly, blankets flying off of his body at his sudden motion. A startled scream was heard just next to him as Kuno proclaimed to his harem. "No, my loves, we shall retire to my chambers!"

Nabiki blinked her eyes in surprise and lowered her hands that still held the warding gestures she made when Kuno woke up suddenly. "So Kuno baby, finally decided to join us?"

Rapidly turning his head to look around the nurse's office for his missing loves, Kuno stopped to look at the mercenary girl. "Where am I? What have you done with my loves?"

"So that's what you were muttering about. And here I thought I was doing you a favor nursing you back to health." She held out her hand, open palm up. "Favors don't come cheap."

"You expect me to pay for this?" He glanced down as his kendo uniform to examine for anything out of the ordinary. He felt his forehead and found that he had a bandage wrapped around the top of his head. "What, pray tell, happened to me?"

"You don't remember? Pity." Nabiki stood up from her chair by the bed to get the blanket from the floor. "My sister smacked you over the school. Since you landed on your head, you didn't suffer any lasting damage."

Kuno growled. "That's right, that foul Saotome was there controlling her. I must find how to free her."

Kneeling down to get the blanket, Nabiki held back a snicker. She was ecstatic that Kuno was as dense as he was or she would actually develop a sense of pity for her victim. "Free my sister? Hee hee hee..." She softly giggled.

Sighing, the kendoist contemplated his problem. He couldn't directly interfere with Saotome, lest he incur the wrath of the Sailor Senshi. How were the Senshi involved with him? He must have somehow cast his beguilement on those poor girls as well. If he could somehow gain favor of the Senshi, he could work to undo Saotome's foul treachery and stop his mad plan of the enslavement of Akane Tendo and the pig tailed one. How? How could he get in with those magical girls?

He had visions of the fire Senshi, Sailor Io, and remembered about his fight with her. She claimed that he challenged her according to the laws of the Senshi and if he won the fight, she would be his wife. Of course! The Senshi marriage laws were the key to the puzzle he must solve. With new found determination, he found Nabiki as she was folding the blanket to put it back on the nurse's storage shelf. "Nabiki Tendo, I need information from you. It is of the utmost urgency."

Her back was toward her favorite customer so Kuno didn't see Nabiki's mouth form a hideous grin. A grin worthy of the Joker of Batman fame. A grin worthy of the Cheshire cat. A smile that only a mother could tolerate because no mother could love this face. She dropped the smile as she turned slowly to her soon to be poorer client. "What can I get for you?"

"I need the book of the Senshi marriage law post haste!"

"You're kidding, right?" Nabiki wondered how she could get such a book. "That's going to cost you."

"Money is no object. I must possess the knowledge on how the Sailor Senshi can be freed from the clutches of that foul sorcerer!"

Nearly falling down onto the floor in hysterics, Nabiki held on tight to a nearby table holding her breath to keep from laughing out loud. She counted to ten to regain control of her senses. "Okay, I'll get that for you. It'll take at least a week."

Kuno jumped out of his bed. "A week! That's far too long! I need this NOW!"

"Hey! Hold your little play toy in check will you?" Nabiki ducked as Kuno produced his bokken and swung it around attacking invisible foes.

"Tell me now, Miss Tendo, of where you were going to get the marriage laws tome so that I may travel there immediately." Kuno held a face of pure rage thinking about how his loves were spending time in needless agony under a ruthless overlord. "I can't wait any longer! Tell me!"

Nabiki was genuinely frightened of Kuno. He must have struck his head one too many times to be this riled up. "I'll tell you..." She sheepishly held out her hand.

Stowing away his bokken, Kuno became a perfect gentleman. "But of course, how much do you need?"

Releasing her breath, she named her price in a soft voice. "One hundred thousand yen?"

"Will you take a check?"

"But of course." Nabiki softened her stance. It was easy money. She scribbled down an address and gave it to Kuno. "Here you go."

Handing the check over, he took the address and read it. "This address is in downtown Tokyo."

"My information is always accurate and guaranteed. You'll find what you're looking for there." Nabiki slid the check into her pants pocket and gently patted it. Her college fund was already paid for, so she was going to open an account for her elder sister.

"I leave now!" He turned to the window and jumped out. "SASUKEEEEEEE!!!" A resounding crash was heard followed by the yowls of a several women. Nabiki peered out the window and saw a hole in the roof of the girl's locker room below.

"Get him!" Yelled a dozen girls as they chased a running Kuno down the pathway to the entrance of Furinkan.

Nabiki slowly shook her head at the sight. She paused, smiled and raised her arms in the air. "Hey! At least I got paid!"

* * *

Soaring over an entrance of a misty valley, a hawk flew into an updraft gaining altitude over the grassy hills of China. A familiar landmark appeared ahead and the brown bird flapped its wings to steady it's course. Far below, pools of water with bamboo poles sticking out of them sat in the eerie quiet of the afternoon sun. Banking away from the cursed springs toward a small village twenty kilometers away, the hawk knew that a well deserved rest was waiting for her. 

Gliding on air currents, the hawk saw its destination. An amazon warrior whistled to attract the bird's attention, then held out her right forearm which was covered with a thick leather bracer. The brown bird held its wings out to slow its descent and landed with the elegant grace befitting of such a magnificent bird.

"La Ping, it's good to see you home." Mulan Chow bent down to pick up a small heated kettle of water. The bird hopped off her arm onto the ground in anticipation. She poured the liquid on the hawk, transforming it into a brown haired naked Amazon warrior.

La Ping shook her head, spraying water everywhere. "I have grave news." She grabbed a towel to wipe away the excess moisture from her forehead.

"I was afraid of that." Mulan held out a set of clothes, neatly folded into a bundle, for her companion. "What's happening?"

The former hawk slipped the Chinese silk mini-skirt over her head. "What the elders have feared has come to pass. Lord Saffron is trying to take the water of Jusendo."

"He is? Why?"

"Let me get this news to the elders first. Time is precious." She put her slippers on and ran down the hill with her friend in close pursuit.

In the central meeting hut of the elders, the matriarchs of the village were in their usual heated discussion. "I'm telling you, we need to increase rice production!"

Potion slammed down her cane onto the large circular stone table that the eight ancient women were huddled around. "Rice! Everything with you is about rice! We need to keep our cows isolated or they might get infected with that virus that's going around."

"I'm telling you! That virus won't ever come around here. Nothing comes around here. When was the last time any of us had seen one of the communists eh?" Lotion retorted in her smug fashion.

Potion was livid. "After the pasting we gave them two years ago? I'm amazed they didn't just vaporize our valley and call it an 'accident'."

"You're blowing everything out of proportion. We need to send ten males from stable duty over to the rice paddies and... OUCH!"

Gel was glaring at the two arguing women that she had thrown small stones at to grab their attention. "If you two could stop for a moment and remember that it was I who called this meeting to order. We need to discuss the open issue that I've been trying to resolve for over a year. Now..."

Lotion rolled her eyes at Gel. "Not that old thing again. We'd already decided that we will reconvene on the Japanese problem in six months."

"Six months! If you had your way it would take six years to deal with something that can be fixed in six days!" Gel hopped on her cane and gave the evil eye to Lotion. "I know that you're just stalling for Cologne."

"I have no loyalty to Cologne! And I resent what you're insinuating..." Lotion's words were cut off as two young amazons warriors ran into the chamber with four guards in tow.

"Elders!" La Ping bowed to her superiors. "I have returned from my scouting mission."

Gel snarled at the young warrior. "We're conducting important business. Is what you bring so important that you interrupt a closed session?" The other elders sat back in their chairs in relief for the break this interruption had caused. They all wished meetings were interrupted more often when Gel was on a tirade.

Huffing and puffing from her recent run, La looked up from her bow. "The Phoenix people are going to threaten Jusenkyo. They might destroy it."

Gel upturned an eyebrow. "Why is that a concern to us? I say, good riddance. Those cursed springs are the cause of too much trouble." She turned to the other elders who were taking an interest in La's report. "It's even the cause of our more recent problems."

La gulped. "But the Musk had finished their hunts."

The room grew very quiet.

The brown haired Amazon slowly scanned the room as the elders sat very still digesting the implications of what was just spoken. Potion spoke slowly and deliberately. "How long before they arrive at Jusenkyo to use the Nyaniichuan?"

"Four, maybe five days from now."

Potion continued with a softer voice. "What EXACTLY is happening with the Phoenix people?"

Recalling what she saw in detail, she began her report. "The earthquake last week must have destroyed their spring. I saw numerous maidens and workers flying from the summit to the base of Jusendo falls with buckets. They were carrying water back to their village at the top of the mountain. I tried to get close but their archers almost shot me." She rubbed her arm to show a scratch she got when an arrow had grazed her. "They were at the entrance to the falls and the booby traps kept them out. I flew to the Jusenkyo guide's hut to check it out and found it had been ransacked."

"Ransacked? Why?" Soap asked. The youngest of the elders, which by the way was not young by any stretch of the imagination, was a good friend of the Jusenkyo guide and was Plum's godmother. "Is Plum alright?"

Perfume got very uncomfortable in her chair. She hadn't been given a chance to bring up what she knew from her conversations with Cologne in Japan. "Uh..."

The scout shook her head. "I don't know. The guide and his daughter were nowhere to be found. The house looked like it had been empty for some time."

Starting with a gentle cough to get attention drawn to herself, Perfume stood up from her chair. "I've got some news to share as well. Plum has been sent to Japan and is in the care of elder Cologne." The room was filled with the sound of murmuring. She directed her tone to Soap. "I've been told that Plum is safe and sound." Soap visibly relaxed as she stopped worrying from the good news. "However, several people from Phoenix Mountain pursued her there. They seem to be looking for the secret of Jusendo Falls."

Gel slowly rubbed her temples. "If all they want is to redirect the water for their own spring, it shouldn't be a problem. There's plenty of water for everyone. It's been that way for centuries."

La gulped again, she was getting used to gulping. "Saffron is ascending."

The room got quiet again.

Soap remembered what happened last time Saffron ascended, the magical waterfall was shut off for weeks, drying up all of the cursed springs. "How soon?"

"Three, maybe four days."

"And the Musk?"

"Four, maybe five days."

The elders turned to Perfume who pointed her own finger at herself as if she was saying, why me? Lotion groaned. "Perfume, call Cologne and get her and Plum back here to the village. We will protect them."

Gel shouted out in excitement. "Have Shampoo come as well." Perfume glared at her in return causing Gel to soften her tone. "As a bodyguard for Plum of course."

Lotion gripped her aged stick with her withered hand as she made her decision. "Differences aside, Gel has a point. Have Shampoo accompany them. We can't take any chances. We must delay Saffron's ascension until after the Musk are done with their courtship rituals. We cannot risk any confrontations between them, especially during sensitive times like these." She studied the faces in the room for any dissenting members. Finding none, she finished her speech. "I, for one, do not want to be caught in the middle of anything like that again."

Smiling in glee, Gel sat in her chair in anticipation.

* * *

"Master, are you sure this is the right address?" Sasuke looked up at the tall office building that he had stopped in front of. Numerous passersby paid little attention to the rickshaw he was pulling behind him. 

Tatewaki Kuno looked down at the map that he had purchased from Nabiki and reread the address. He looked at the number above the glass doors of the tower and found it was a match. "Yes, my good servant. This is the correct location." He stood up from his seat and pulled out his bokken in a defiant pose. He shouted to the heavens above, for this was his most holy mission for today. "Now I will know the Senshi marriage laws and will be able to know the proper way to woo the beautiful Sailor Suited Warriors of Love and Justice into the house of Kuno!"

Kuno stood at the edge of the rickshaw in anticipation. Sasuke dropped the kickstand and got down on all fours so Kuno could use him as a footstool to disembark the carriage. "I shall return shortly. I expect that we will journey back to the estate, so plan accordingly."

"Oh, master." Sasuke slowly shook his head wondering from which window in the skyscraper that Kuno would eventually be ejected from, so he could collect his master's body to take it home.

"Sasuke! You shall not gaze at me with that sort of face." Kuno slid his bokken into his belt. "You should be grateful for your position among the house of Kuno."

"Of course I am grateful, my master!" Sasuke groveled at Kuno's feet. "I am as always, your humble servant."

The kendoist nodded in approval with Sasuke's proper respect for his betters. He turned and marched into the lobby of the office building with an air of confidence reserved for Julius Caesar before his meeting with Brutus. He almost got to the bulletin board with the directory of companies when a security guard approached. "Sir, I'm afraid you'll have to check in your weapon."

Kuno ignored the lesser man for he was going to delay his meeting with the people with the book he sought. His eyes went to the entries starting with the letter 'S' and found the office he was looking for. "I am allowed to carry my bokken for I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High."

"And I'm allowed to carry my nightstick because people like you carry bokkens." The guard grasped the hilt of his stick to show he meant business. "Check in your weapon, or leave."

Kuno turned only his head to examine his opponent. "And if I refuse?"

"Then it will get ugly real fast. Check in the bokken, or please leave the premises." Two other guards took positions near the elevators to prevent Kuno from charging into the building.

Kuno was puzzled. "I've been to numerous establishments with my ceremonial weapon. Why is it not permitted here?"

The guard flexed his chest muscles showing that he could stand up to Kuno in a fist fight. "Sir, there is a strict no-weapons policy here. Unless you can show me a license to carry that thing, I can't allow you to take that with you. So, I'm going to ask one last time. Check in your weapon."

"Very well." He handed over the bokken. "If it is damaged in any way, I will hold you responsible."

The guard took the bokken and handed Kuno a tag. "Don't forget to pick it up on your way out."

Kuno stormed away from the security guards and into a waiting elevator. He huffed at being treated as a common peasant. How dare these lesser people treat the undefeated Kendo champion as a commoner?

The elevator played "The Girl from Ipanema" as every other elevator did on the entire planet. Kuno hummed along much to the dismay of the other two passengers with him.

Moments later, he stood at the solid wooden door that kept him from the book he sought. The tome that held the key to tearing away the foul Saotome from the Beautiful Sailor Suited Warriors of Love and Justice. He only needed to know exactly how to court and then marry the Senshi of Io and the Sun. They would assist him by using their magic to counteract the dark black magic that Ranma had used on Akane and the pig tailed one. Together, he and his four dear loves would be an unstoppable team leading the way for a beautiful future for all mankind. It was a day worth fighting for!

The door had a placard on it that read, "Sailor Moon Fan Club." Kuno turned the knob and gallantly entered.

The room was a typical Japanese office. It was cramped, tiny, filled with cubicles and was brimming with activity. The walls were plastered with dozens of posters of the Inner Senshi in dramatic poses. Display cases lined the walls that held hundreds of small figurines of all the Sailor Senshi.

The secretary snapped to attention, focusing her gaze at Kuno while talking on the phone. "Yes, the new Sailor Moon movie is in production. No, I don't have a release date. We'll issue a press release when we're ready to make our announcements. Thank you." She slammed the phone down hard, almost breaking the handset. "If I have to answer that question one more time..."

"Ahem." Kuno stood close to the secretary. "Who's in charge here?"

"Beg your pardon?" The girl grimaced as the phone rang again distracting her away from Tatewaki. She held up her hand to alert the kendoist to pause to give her some breathing time. "Please wait a moment." She hesitated, fearing the interrogation she was going to endure again at the hands of a fan. She whispered to herself. "Quitting time is only thirty minutes away." She picked up the phone and went into cute mode. "Sailor Moon Fan Club, Sailor Vesta speaking, how may I direct your call?" She listened for a moment to the voice on the other end. "No, Sailor Moon can't come over to get your cat out of your tree." She cupped her hand over the phone then waved at Kuno. "Sir, please have a seat over there and I'll be right with you."

Kuno glanced behind himself to see several director chairs with names and a cartoon likeness of Sailor Moon, Mars and Venus. He nodded in approval knowing that once again, Nabiki had delivered exactly what he had needed.

The girl sighed then continued on the phone. "No, Sailor Mars can't get your cat out of the tree either. Have you tried just asking your parents? No? How about... No, I'm not available either. Someone has to watch the office." She placed her elbow on her desk resting her head on her hand as she grew bored humoring the fan. "Miss, I've got a call coming in from Queen Serenity. Duty calls." She gently hung up the phone, relieved that this fan bought the excuse this time.

Kuno shot like a bullet to the desk, wanting to get a word in before the phone rang again. "I ask again, who's in charge?"

"That would be Mr. Nishida. He's over..." The instant she pointed in the direction of his office, Kuno started marching in that direction. "Sir! You just can't..." She followed Kuno as he walked purposefully through the narrow hallway past busy people drawing art, laying out books and creating next year's toy line. He stopped at the office with a simple nameplate reading "Hiro Nishida, President".

Kuno stopped only for a moment to see if the company president was in a meeting. The medium height, medium build Japanese man was typing up a letter on his computer when Kuno made his presence known. "Sir, I have business to discuss."

Hiro faced his new guest in his office while his receptionist apologized to him with a bow. "I'm sorry sir, he just barged in."

Huffing at the term 'barged', Kuno tactlessly ignored the lesser person to his noble stature to address the man who must know the Senshi personally. "I am in need of a copy of the Senshi marriage laws."

Blinking at the odd request, he answered the only way he could. "Say what?"

"The marriage laws. Surely you know of them. Sailor Io spoke of the book's existence to me."

"Sailor who? You actually met a Senshi?" He pulled out a pad and pen from a drawer then sat with rapt attention. "What was that name again." He waved his hand to instruct Kuno to have a seat, then he waved off his receptionist. "I'll take care of him, Miss Yamato." As Kuno sat down, Hiro leaned back in his chair.

Brushing off his pants legs to tidy up, Kuno bowed politely. "Where are my manners. I am Tatewaki Kuno, age 18, the shining star of the kendo world. The undefeated champion of Furinkan High." He raised a fist in the air and thunder roared from outside startling several office workers since it was a clear day.

"Okay." Hiro wondered how Kuno synchronized a thunderclap, but then this man might have had some connection to the Senshi. "Now, what was the name of the Senshi that spoke to you?"

"It was Sailor Io. Ah, the fierce tigress that she is, she's worthy of my love."

Mr. Nishida froze at that statement. Was this man the boyfriend of a Senshi? This might have been the big break he'd been looking for. "Your love? Is she?"

"Why yes. She and Sailor Sun are women after my heart."

Hiro was drinking from a can of soda at the moment and coughed, trying to keep from choking. "S-Sailor Sun? She's your girlfriend too? Tell me, what does she look like?"

"Huh? You jest. How can you not know what she looks like? The fiery red hair, the determined face, that healthy beauty, they're all traits of a strong warrior worthy of the house of Kuno. Yes, she seeks me out." He drifted off into fantasyland as he had images of fire Senshi dance in his mind.

"Red hair, got it. What's the color of her skirt and bow exactly? I believe it's red with yellow trim, but is there anything else special about her uniform?" He hastily grabbed a red pencil to quickly draw in red hair on a simple sketch of a girl in a Senshi uniform.

"Hmm... Her bow was yellow and her skirt was red like, what was her name? Yes, Sailor Mars. Her skirt was just like Mars. But we're digressing, I'm here to obtain a copy of the Senshi marriage laws."

"Was her hair long like Mars too? Or does she keep it short like Mercury?" The red pencil was seeing some heavy use as he rapidly sketched a red skirt on the drawing.

"Are you listening to what I'm asking?" Kuno noticed the drawing the man was making. "The hair was longer. It flowed freely and reached to her waist."

"This is great." He barely held back his excitement. "What other corrections do I need to make?"

Holding back his anger, Tatewaki tried again with the polite approach. "I'm not here to describe the one who loves me. I need the Senshi marriage laws and I need it now."

"The what? What are you talking about?"

Kuno rolled his eyes in disgust. This man was being no help in assisting him in freeing the Senshi from the clutches of the dark sorcerer. "I'm talking about the way of the Senshi. I've been told that they have a book of laws that they follow. Part of that book is how you court and marry one of them. I need the book that has that information."

"B-but..." Hiro wrapped up the simple drawing of Sailor Sun that looked close to what the girl really looked like, but still needed a lot of work to be a good likeness. He thought about the lines of books that they published as a substitute for Kuno's strange request. "Are you looking for something like 'Meet Sailor Moon'?"

"I don't wish to meet Sailor Moon. I wish to understand the marriage laws. If you produce this book, I'll pay any price."

"Any price?" He snickered. "I'll give it to you for say... A million yen."

"Done." Kuno reached into his pocket for his checkbook. "Who do I make the check out to?"

"You're serious?" Hiro sat up in surprise.

"I am from a long line of Samurai. I'm always serious." He wrote out the amount on the check leaving the pay to line empty. He ripped out the check and handed it to the president. "Give me the book."

Holding the check in his hands, he trembled at the thought of someone who callously handed over a great deal of money for something that should retail for one thousand yen. "Uh, I'll have to wait until the check clears before I... Uh... I can give you the book. Is that okay?"

Thinking for a moment, which for Kuno was a monumental task, he agreed with the man's assessment. "Very well, I expect the funds to transfer soon. May I at least glance at the book now, I only need to read the chapter on the laws pertaining to the marriage combat ceremony."

"Marriage combat? Tell me about that?"

"To win the hand of a Senshi, you must first defeat her in combat. That was told to me by the Senshi themselves. I however need to understand all the bylaws and the nuances to be able to properly prepare myself for my marriage to Sailor Sun." Kuno stated matter of factly.

Hiro simply sat and blinked at the nonsense he was told. "You're telling me, that Tuxedo Mask had to fight Sailor Moon for her hand in marriage? Wow. No wonder there aren't many men among the Senshi."

"I would assume that to be the case. Few men are as worthy as I to be among such greatness. Will you show me the book or not?"

Curiosity was getting the better of the CEO. "Why do you want this book?"

"There is a dark magician named Ranma Saotome. He keeps the Senshi entrapped through his powerful spells."

Hiro grew ashen. "A magic user? You mean like Queen Beryl?"

"I don't know about this Beryl person, but I assure you, Saotome is far more treacherous. I need the book to complete my quest to break the spell and free those who love me."

"Uh... Well..." The company owner needed to buy some time since the book didn't exist. "It's not here. It's... Uh... It's off site in a secret location. I can get it... Uh..." He softly spoke. "Day after tomorrow?"

Kuno gritted his teeth at the latest delay. "Fine. But do not keep me waiting." He pulled out a pen and paper. He scribbled his phone number and name then handed it to the man behind the desk. "Call me the instant you have the book. Time is not important. Call me at any hour, I must have this book." He stood up to leave. "Good afternoon, my good man." With that, he gallantly marched out the door and out of the office.

His head spinning, Hiro contemplated his good fortune. If this man knew the Senshi, he could be convinced to have one or two of them actually come over to help him fight off that crazed girl who was claiming that she represented the Senshi and that he would have to turn over his operation to her. If he could actually make contact with the magical girls, he could put an end to this unwelcome take over attempt and save his profitable company. He formed a quick plan and pressed the buzzer. "Miss Yamato."

"Yes, sir?" Came the voice from the speakerphone.

"Call in Mr. Johnson and Miss Okazaki, I'll need them to work late tonight."

"Very well, sir. I'll notify them in a moment."

Turning the page on his notepad, he wrote down some notes for what this book he needed to create had to contain. "Let's see, marriage by combat. Where have I heard that before?" He turned to his computer and spent a few minutes doing searches on the topic. "Chinese Amazon marriage laws? Hmm... Good starting point as any."

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and I'll churn out these chapters faster than I'm doing them now. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 25th, 2007

* * *


	7. Bird Hunting

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 7: Bird hunting

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or give me a generous helping of Dog, the other white meat.

* * *

Nodoka stared at the home in front of her. She was not impressed with what she saw. The agent tapped his foot with impatience since this was the fifth home he had shown the trio that evening. The Saotome matriarch asked the usual question. "And how much was this again?" 

Handing the elder a sheet of glossy paper, he made his pitch hoping to finally close a deal to get his commission. "Here you go. Now remember, that this is the asking price. I'm certain that they would take any reasonable offer."

She looked at the price and gritted her teeth. Nodoka wasn't prepared for the jump in price from Nerima to the Minato wards of Tokyo. Juuban was located much closer to very pricey real estate and what seemed like a lot of money for the sale of the ancestral home of the Saotome clan, didn't seem to be that much money anymore. "Is there something a little bit... Uh... Less expensive?"

"Ma'am, you have to understand that what you're asking for is going to take some financing to be able to afford what you want. Homes with three or more bedrooms in this section of Tokyo is going to cost a great deal of money. Now, if you're willing to lower your standards or go to Nerima or Itabashi, I'm certain I can find exactly what you're looking for and in the price we discussed."

Ranma sighed. He had already picked out which bedroom he wanted and now they were going to go back to square one. He walked away from the tiny bedroom with a decent view of Tokyo Harbor with an air of disappointment. He really liked this room a lot better than the room he had at the Tendo compound.

Akane followed her husband toward the front door of the empty home. She shot a glance at the beautiful kitchen that she had hoped to learn how to cook in under the guidance of her mother-in-law. "Well, maybe the next house would be a better choice," was what the dark haired girl thought.

The agent escorted the trio out the front door and paused to lock up. He opened his briefcase and leafed through some bad fax copies of the newest listings in the hope of finding something that would interest his clients. He flipped pages until he found one that would be a long shot, but he had nothing to lose. He was already losing hope that these people were going to buy a home through his firm. "Are you really set on owning a home in the Juuban district?"

Nodoka gripped her cloth wrapped katana in frustration. "Yes." She looked over to her child and daughter-in-law. "We have special needs." She smiled knowingly. "Juuban is where we have to be."

Scratching his head in trepidation, he pulled out the sell sheet in question from his case. "Well, there is a listing that went up for sale today. If you're willing to lower your standards just a bit, I think I can get you into this one."

Nodoka shook her head in the negative, since she had her heart set on a home that rivaled the Tendo Dojo. Ranma jumped impatiently in when he glimpsed at the size of the floor plan and the noticeably smaller number in the asking price. "Sure guy, why not? We've got nuttin' to lose by just lookin' at it? Right, Akane?"

"Sure, why not?" Akane wasn't very enthused. "After that, we've got to go home. We missed school today and we've got to get up in time tomorrow or we'll be in detention for being absent and late."

"I'm sure Usagi or Minako won't mind the company." Ranma joked, knowing that those two girls were almost fixtures in detention hall.

Giving in for the evening, while planning on tomorrow's house hunt with another real estate agent, Nodoka gently nodded her head to agree.

The agent looked at the bottom of the page of the fax with the listing's notes and grimaced. He thought to himself. "I'm wasting my time with these people." He checked the address, led the group into his tiny car and drove toward the last house tour of the evening.

* * *

"Now child, remember what you've been taught." Cologne instructed her new little student. 

"Yes, honored guest." Plum spun a bo stick over her head, then brought it down forcefully. She took a step forward then did a three hundred sixty degree turn to strike the air in the exact same place.

"Very good. Soon you'll be ready for your next lesson." The elder beamed. "You will make a fine warrior someday. Soap would be proud of you."

Plum stopped her kata to stifle a tear. Training or not, she was a seven year old girl and the death of her mother still tore her heart. She slowly closed her eyes to allow a tear to leak out. "Elder, why did mommy leave me?"

Realizing the wound she reopened, the old woman walked next to the slightly taller young girl to comfort her. "It was simply her time, young one." She placed her shriveled hand on Plum's shoulder. "There are things that simply must be. Live to honor her memory, my child. Live to honor your Amazon sisters and your godmother. I know that your mother is proud of you."

She dropped the bo stick as she let more of her sadness take her. "How can mommy be proud of me? I couldn't protect daddy. Now he's gone, too."

Reassuring the little girl, Cologne offered some hope. "We don't know that. You said so yourself that he ordered you to come here. You didn't see him get hurt and the Phoenix people traditionally aren't violent. This whole thing might end up being a huge misunderstanding."

"But I failed him! How can I be an Amazon if I can't protect my father?" She sobbed.

Cologne smiled. "But you are an Amazon. How many people do you know could have traveled as far as you have and not be caught? Hundreds of Chinese try to leave the country and are sent back everyday. Look at you! You're smarter than all those men. Because you have the heart of an Amazon in you."

Plum blinked. She thought about the days she ran under cover of darkness across the landscape of China. The day she found the ship and stowed away only to be discovered minutes after docking in Tokyo Harbor. She had outsmarted several patrols and took them out with her simple makeshift weapons. "I... I..." She tried to talk as her thoughts of her journey flooded her mind. Showing some happiness, she faced her elder. "I guess I do."

"I know you do. You have your mother's spirit in you. I'm certain she's helping you and watching over you." Brrrriiinnngggg, went the phone. Cologne growled, "Grandson! Get the phone!"

Shampoo's father came out of the storeroom, took off a rubber glove that he wore while he was scrubbing the floor and picked up the handset.

"Good." Sighed Cologne. "As you see, men do have their uses."

"Will I ever be as good as you, honored guest?"

Tapping the future Amazon's forehead in a playful gesture. "Maybe."

Her grandson cupped his hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. "Grandmother, it's for you. It's very important."

Cologne looked around the Cat Cafe looking for the great-granddaughter. Finding her to be nowhere in sight, she called out to the kitchen. "Mr. Part-time, watch the store."

Mousse looked up from the dishes he was washing with very warm water. "I'm on it!" He silently added. "You shriveled old monkey." A chopstick struck his head.

"I heard that!"

* * *

Hiro Nishida, Alex Johnson and Naomi Okazaki were sitting around a table at the Sailor Moon Fan Club planning out the book that Tatewaki wanted. 

Naomi was a tiny black haired Japanese girl who handed layouts for most of the publications the company published. She was also an excellent artist who drew many of the panels of the Sailor V comic books.

Alex specialized in writing and personally wrote all of the "Sailor Moon says" forwards in the fan club newsletters. Coming from America, many people at the office viewed him with a little distaste, but his speed at writing the newsletters in perfect Japanese made up for his white skin and blond hair.

The owner placed his notepad on the table. "I've got a rush job. I'm not looking for anything publication quality. Just an eight to ten page booklet to satisfy a special order."

"Special order?" Alex asked curiously. "Is this anything like that Ice Skater who wanted us to rename Sailor Venus 'Tina'"?

Naomi's eye rolled at the thought of exceedingly weird chapters of her employment at the company. "Don't tell me it's that creepy kid with the camera. Is he trying to sell us that photo essay of martial artists again?"

Hiro shook his head vigorously. "No, no, it's a new client with a pretty simple job for us. He wants a book about the Senshi marriage laws."

Both of Hiro's companions audibly blinked. Alex shook his head to clear it as if his ears weren't working. "Marriage laws? Did I hear you right?"

Naomi giggled, "Oh, that's a new one. Where do these people come from?"

Leaning back in his chair, Hiro tossed his pencil on his notepad. "The guy's a fruitcake. But a rich fruitcake, and from what he said to me, makes me believe that he may actually have seen or even had hard evidence on Sailor Sun."

"There's that again." Alex twiddled his thumbs in a nervous habit he had developed over the years. "We know she exists. We just can't get a good photo of her."

"What do we have to do. I mean, there's no such thing as Senshi marriage laws, are there?" The girl of the group asked.

"If there were, it's news to me. But since this guy's a certified loon, let's just slap something together and call it a night. Now, here's something I dug up that I think you can hack into something that's passible for what he wants." Hiro slid a disk over to Alex. "I already emailed you a copy too. It's text from an anthropological web site about some village of women who had some really strange marriage laws. I think you can just cut and paste some stuff to make the basis of this booklet. Naomi, could you draw an action pose of Tuxedo Mask challenging Sailor Moon to a marriage duel?"

"A marriage duel? That's breaking canon."

Crossing his arms in smug righteousness, Hiro proclaimed to his workers. "Hey, we're the Sailor Moon Fan Club. Whatever we write is canon."

* * *

The sun set over the horizon sending Tokyo into neon darkness. All over the city, the glow of signs and streetlights exchanged the beauty of the city with the mystery of Tokyo at night. 

Many people preferred the nightlife of the capital of the nation of Japan. Some visitors, however, didn't.

"I can't see a thing!" Mumbled Masara from his perch at the top of the smokestack. His bird vision, while during the day was far better than any normal human, sucked big time at night.

Kiima blinked with gusto in a futile effort to improve her night vision. She squinted at in the general direction of the Cat Cafe, hoping to see if anything out of the ordinary was happening. She saw what appeared to be a group of people entering the shop. "Masara! Koruma! Something's happening. We're moving out." She extended her wings to glide down to the Cafe.

"But I was winning." Masara picked up his Yu-Gi-Oh cards from the play field and shoved his deck in his shirt.

"You were cheating!" Koruma slid his deck into his pants pocket for safe keeping. "You can't have more than three monsters of the same type in your deck!"

"SILENCE!" Kiima shouted. "This may be our chance. You have everything ready as I instructed?"

"Yes, Captain!" They both answered.

"Show me." Kiima didn't trust her minions.

The two men produced fist sized eggs from their pouches. Kiima was pleased.

* * *

"I must protest this course of action!" Cologne held her anger in check. "Plum is safe here. Moving her will only expose her to danger. We're being watched at every moment." 

Perfume sat in her hut in the Amazon Village. She played with the phone cord as she relayed what she was instructed to say. "It's the final decision. Lotion herself condoned the request."

"You know as well as I that Gel wants to bring up her issues when I'm present there. Taking Plum back to China is a terrible idea and she's just using this as an excuse to bring me back now. Put Lotion on the line."

"Lotion has already gone to bed. She's not as young as she used to be. Besides, it's not going to change her mind. Once the edict has been handed down, it's almost impossible to change it."

Gripping her cane with almost enough force to reduce it to splinters, Cologne pleaded with her friend. "Let's say we return to China. What good will that do? It won't bring back the guide and it certainly won't do Plum any good to be reminded of her loss."

Perfume shook her head. "I did get word today that the guide's body has not been found. There is a chance, a slim one, that he might have been captured or somehow had escaped and is still alive."

"I doubt that. The odds that he survived are slim at best. I don't want to be the one that tells her that her father is dead."

Perfume got miffed. "I just told you. We don't know if he's dead or not. His home was ransacked, yes. But there was no blood and no dead body, so we can't assume the worst. Saffron's people have always been peaceful."

"Peaceful until now, you've heard about how he's changed in the last few years. He's not the Saffron we knew of the past."

"True. But we don't know exactly what sort of person he is now. Assuming things without all the facts is a dangerous thing to do."

"I guess you're right." Shampoo's great grandmother let out an exasperated breath. "I just hope that I never have to tell her any bad news. Keep me informed and I'll make the preparations to return to China. But I want to return alone. I'll see for myself the situation between the Musk and the Phoenix people and decide what's best for Plum. I don't want her to come back to a battleground."

Perfume shuddered. "That's going directly against the council's orders. You're ordered to return with Shampoo and Plum immediately."

"Plum will be safe here under the care of Shampoo." Cologne scanned the room she was in. She felt a presence that quickly faded away. "If what I fear comes to pass, then she may be staying here for a very long time."

"Let's hope that you're wrong." Perfume hung up and looked at Gel who was listening to the whole thing. "Well, Cologne is coming, but Shampoo is staying behind."

Gel struck the ground with her right foot with all her might. It left a small crater. "Damn!"

Cologne gently hung up the phone hoping against hope that her instincts were wrong. She felt that the guide had been killed and Kiima and her crew were targeting Plum next. She contemplated the Phoenix people's true intentions as she opened her bedroom door and stepped in a scoop of ice cream.

The old women gasped. "Plum!"

* * *

Kiima sat in a tree near the Cat Cafe watching the people below her go on with their daily lives. She stared intently at the Cafe waiting for anything to happen to give her the chance to put her plan in motion. From the far side of the street, she saw a tiny girl in a mini-skirt running along the sidewalk. She was crying and holding an ice cream cone without any ice cream in it. 

The girl had long black hair and looked somewhat like the Chinese girl they were hunting. She made some cooing sounds to attract the attention of her soldiers.

Masara and Koruma were in human guise standing near the base of the tree. They heard Kiima's call and saw which direction she was pointing. The two nodded in acknowledgment and ran after their prey.

They followed the tiny girl through the crowded street. Many people were milling about near restaurants, bars and other night spots not paying any attention the girl darting around them. She changed direction to avoid the crowds and ran toward a small park. She rushed through the gate crying all the way. She stopped near a swing set and cried her eyes out as she dropped her empty ice cream cone.

Masara looked around for any witnesses. Koruma gave an all clear signal and they threw the special eggs they carried at the weeping little girl. She screamed as the eggs struck her and enveloped her in a yellowish goo. She struggled to get something from her pocket but the material solidified holding her fast. The outer material hardened and changed from yellow to a solid white color. In moments, a human sized egg sat where their target once stood.

Kiima flew in to examine her men's handiwork. "Impressive. You didn't screw this up." She tossed each man a thermos. "Change back. We need to take her to the nest."

Pouring hot water on themselves to change back into their natural bird forms, the two men tossed a net over the egg, grabbed the ends and flew into the sky following Kiima's lead. They took several wrong turns due to their bad night vision, but they made it home safe and sound with their new prisoner.

* * *

"Lower your standards he said..." Ranma mumbled. He stood at the front door of the last house on their home finding trip. The door was the only piece of the house that appeared to be intact. The roof was caved-in in three places, the windows were all shattered and the giant Godzilla footprint that leveled half of the house next door told him everything he needed to know about why the house was being sold for so cheap. 

Nodoka was giddy. "And both lots are included?"

"Yes, the owners are anxious to sell and move to Montana." The agent checked his sheets. "I have to disclose that the property is being sold on an as-is basis."

Akane raised an eyebrow. "How motivated are they to sell? Would an all cash deal let them drop the price a little more?"

Ranma froze at the statement. He spun around to his wife exclaiming, "You're not serious are you? This place is a dump! Look at it. A Moko Takabisha will take this down in no time flat!"

"Ranma! My Thunder Hammer Strike will take down any house!"

"Well, my Searing Plasma Blast will take down a three story building!"

"Well, my Lava Blast will..."

"AHEM!" Nodoka loudly coughed to get her charges to shut up. She turned to the agent. "Kids... Always bragging about everything. Offer them this." She wrote down a price.

Thinking about the price, he shook his head. "I don't think they'll go for it."

"If they take it, I'll pay you an extra 2 commission."

He shrugged. It was worth a shot. He dialed his cell phone and called the number of the sheet. "Yes, I'm calling about the property in Juuban. I've got a buyer with an all cash offer... But don't you want to... Considering the condition of the property, yes, it's a fair offer. I see." He hung up the phone. "Weird."

"Did they change their minds? Has the property already been sold." The Saotome elder got disenchanted since her price wasn't even mentioned in the conversation.

"No, it's for sale and if you want it. It's yours. The instant they heard it was a cash deal. They took it and shouted 'Montana, here we come.'".

The three Saotome's blinked. Akane stuttered as the suddenness of the transaction sunk into her head. "Y-y-you mean, we bought it?"

"I can have the papers drawn up by tomorrow morning." He looked at the house again. "But I really recommend that you tear this place down and start over. Moving in isn't an option."

Ranma was playing with the front door. "You can say that again." He gently closed the door shut. He took two steps away from the house when a loud screeching sound came from within. Martial arts instincts took over and Ranma grabbed his mother while Akane held onto the real estate agent and leapt out of the way as the building collapsed in upon itself in a giant cloud of dust and wood chips.

Cough! Cough! The agent gagged then looked back at the ruins of the house he thought he sold. "I'm sorry about that."

Ranma dusted off his mother. "You'd better be sorry, you almost killed us."

Nodoka waved off her son. "Don't worry about me." She stood to look the agent in the eye as best as she could in the dust laden air. "I think we can knock off 20 from my offer. Don't you agree?"

"You still want it?"

Beaming at her business sense, she visualized in her mind her beautiful new home that her son would build for her. "Of course. Now we don't have to bulldoze the old house."

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from sending a dog to eat your homework, tax returns, your great movie script and those love letters you're hiding under your bed. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 25th, 2007

* * *


	8. Plans

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter8: Plans

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or have me wait in line to get my badge at AnimeExpo.

* * *

Akari was beginning to be worried for her husband; he hadn't come into the dining room to eat dinner. She touched the bowl of soup she had prepared for him, and found that it had cooled to room temperature. 

"Where are you?" She softly whispered, picking up the bowl and placing it in the microwave so she could reheat it when Ryoga eventually showed up.

She went to the back door and listened carefully for any sign of her husband. Sounds of pigs, horses, pigs, cows, pigs, chickens and more pigs were echoing across the farm, but not Ryoga's calling card of 'Where the hell am I now?'. Akari nodded her head when she guessed where her husband had wandered off to. She went back inside, up the stairs and stopped in front of the linen closet. She pulled the closet door open, ejecting a startled P-chan.

"Bwee!"

"Oh, Ryoga. Stop wandering off like that." Gathering her tiny porcine husband, she took him to the bathroom to change him back to human form. "Sweetheart, you almost missed dinner."

Grandfather was watching the encounter from the end of the hall. "I was afraid this was going to happen."

* * *

"So..." Ranma stared at the rubble before him that once was a two story single family home. "We now own a smoking crater." He added sarcastically, "I've always wanted to live in a hole in the ground." 

Akane coughed up some dust out of her lungs while using a lamppost as a support. She spit out a small chunk of plaster. "Ack! Well, it could be worse."

"Yeah." He answered rhetorically, "We could own two smoking craters."

His mother replied matter-of-factly. "Technically, we do own two smoking craters, since there are actually two lots for sale." She gestured with her hand over to the crushed home next door, "That footprint over there is the second property." She directed her voice to the salesman. "And we'll have the paperwork done soon, correct?"

The agent scribbled a few notes about the property and the sale price for filing later that evening. He collected all the information to quickly get the documents created and processed to close the deal. "Correct. The paperwork will be filed late tomorrow and you should be able to take possession in a week."

"Isn't it wonderful, Son?" Nodoka beamed while pointing in random directions calling out the destinations by name. "We're only blocks away from everything we need. The shopping mall is four blocks that way, the High School is ten blocks that way, the train station is two blocks that way, and there's a shrine just over that hill."

Akane froze at the shrine reference since it was the shrine where Rei and her grandfather lived. "Yeah, it's really a great location, Mother."

Still in a blissful state, Nodoka gazed at the hill in the direction of the Hikawa shrine. "I can't wait to visit the shrine. I've heard so much about it."

It was Ranma's turn to pretend to be a statue. "You have?" He shot a glance at Akane wondering just how much his mother had found out about their extracurricular activities.

"Of course, Son, it has one of the most beautiful gardens in Tokyo. I'm going to visit it as soon as I get a chance." She stood near the property line gazing at a home that existed in her imagination. "I'm certain we'll build a beautiful home here." She pointed to where a second story would be if an intact house was on the property. "My bedroom would have a wonderful view of Tokyo Tower."

"Madame." The real estate agent spoke to get Nodoka's attention. "I have a list of contractors that I can recommend for you."

The matriarch waved him away. "Nonsense. My son can handle it, right?"

Flexing his biceps, Ranma radiated confidence as Akane groaned. "Sure thing, Mom! Just gimme the tools and lumber and I'll have it built in a jiffy."

Akane looked at her husband in mild surprise. "You've built a house from scratch?"

Remembering the lessons he gave Mr. Miyagi months ago, he grew even more confident. "I've done enough carpentry at the Dojo, how hard can it be?"

The agent opened his briefcase to find cards for building material suppliers. "You're a licensed contractor? Then you'll need these." He handed him some cards for companies that sold tile, pipes. wood and carpeting. "Do you need an architect for a set of blueprints?"

Ranma was taken aback. "Blueprints?"

"Yes, building plans. Or are you an architect too?" He went to a different set of business cards. "I think you need to contact this person." He handed a card to Ranma.

The card read, "Nerima demolition service." The martial artist handed the card back. "I don't think so. The house is already wrecked."

Taking back the card, the agent slid it into his folder. "But who's going to haul away the debris?"

Thumping his chest in a manly manner, Ranma proclaimed, "I will!"

Scratching his head in confusion, the agent wondered about how Ranma was going to get rid of a mountain of trash. "Uh... That's at least twenty tons of material right there."

"No problem for me!" Ranma strutted over to a section of the roof that was now at ground level. "Moko Takabisha!" He blasted off a section causing the house to shift again. A cracking sound was emitted from the entire structure and it imploded a second time, covering the property with plaster dust, wood chips and confetti.

The agent covered himself to avoid the flying debris. He understood why the man had no need for a demolition company. He muttered quietly to himself, "That's right, these people are from Nerima."

Akane fanned her face with her hand. "Great job!" She coughed as the air grew thick with dust. "Want me to help spread the dust around some more?."

Ranma walked out of the dust cloud completely white with plaster. "That didn't go as planned." He brushed himself off to stop looking like a white faced Kabuki actor.

Brushing the choking dust off of her kimono, Nodoka took a few steps away from the ruined house. "We'll start on the plans tomorrow. Let's try to get the house done by next week, shall we?"

The agent shook his head. "Finishing a house in a week? It'll take a week just for your plans to be approved by city hall, and that's if you paid for priority service."

Ranma was puzzled. "Permits? What permits?"

"Building permits. You can't do any construction like this without a permit or the city inspector will impose stiff fines or order you to tear down your home." He looked at Ranma carefully. "You're not a licensed contractor, are you?"

"I need a license to use a hammer?"

"YES!" He reached for the cards in his case, handing them to Nodoka. "Madame, here are several licensed contractors that can build you a home, legally. I'd hate for you to get into trouble. Now..." He gestured them to his dust covered car. "Let me take you home and I'll be by your apartment tomorrow with the paperwork."

Deep in thought, the elder came up with a plan. "Can you take us to the Nerima ward?"

"Of course, Madame. What's the address?"

"We'll be going to the Tendo Dojo. I'll give you directions on how to get there."

Happy at the thought of seeing her family, the former Tendo barely held her glee. "It's been too long since I've seen my family. Let's go!"

Food spoke volumes for Ranma. "Mmm... Kasumi's cooking..."

The agent slid behind the wheel of his car and started the engine. It was a small service, one he was happy to provide for a paying client.

Nodoka slid into the front seat, while her children got in the back. The matriarch thought to herself, "I'm certain that Nabiki would be happy to help us out. She's such a thoughtful girl."

* * *

"Plum! Where are you?" Cologne called out in the crowded cafe. The patrons watched the old woman bounce around the establishment searching every nook and cranny with curiosity. No one paid too much attention since odd and weird were the normal order of business on this side of town. 

The ancient elder took one last look at the interior of the cafe before being convinced that Plum had left the premises. She barked orders to her fellow Amazons. "Shampoo! Stay here and mind the store. I'll be out for a while. Grandson, Mousse, you'll stay here as well."

Shampoo twirled around from the table she was waiting. "Yes, Great-Grandmother, when you come back?"

"I don't know." Nodding at Shampoo, Cologne darted out the front door into the night.

Mousse grumbled as he set upon a mountain of dirty dishes. "Now, where's the old hag off to this time?"

* * *

Hiro sat at his desk running Adobe Pagemaker on his computer, laying out the pages for the Senshi marriage laws. He read a passage out loud and laughed. 

"If an outsider male defeats a Senshi in a formal challenge, the magic will bind the two to be mates for life." He chuckled to himself. "I can't believe this was just a search and replace from an ancient manuscript. You just can't make up stuff like this." He pasted a picture of Tuxedo Mask throwing a rose at Sailor Moon, pinning her to the ground. "Now what shall I write for a caption?"

The phone rang, interrupting his chain of thought. He grabbed it and jammed it between his ear and shoulder, and resumed typing. "Nashida speaking."

The familiar voice came on the line. "Have you procured the book of marriage laws yet?"

"Sir, if you keep insisting on calling every hour, I'll have to refund your money and alert the Senshi to never speak with you."

Kuno huffed. "Very well, I expect a call from you the moment you have the book."

"I will call you when it's complete just like I've already told you. I will expect the bonus you promised upon delivery."

"Of course, I will pay the agreed upon amount the moment I receive the book."

The owner of the Sailor Moon Fan Club gently hung up the phone. Concentrating at the task at hand, he reminded himself just why he was burning the midnight oil on this special task. "Two million yen, I'm doing this for a two million yen rush bonus." He went back to creating the caption for the hand drawn picture. "Hmm... How about 'You've proven your love to me at last, my dearest Tuxedo Mask!'".

Kuno huffed as he hung up the phone. "Impertinent fool, does he not understand that each moment they are apart from me only increases their suffering."

"Sasuke!" The tiny ninja materialized in front of his Lord and Master.

"Yes, master!" He bowed.

"I need you to wait at the Sailor Moon Fan Club and collect the book the instant it arrives."

"Yes, master." Sasuke disappeared into the shadows.

Kuno looked up at the wall sized posters of Sailor Io, Sun, Akane and the pig-tailed one that adorned his bedroom. He spoke to the images before him, "Soon my loves, we will be together soon. I will not fail you."

* * *

Akane ran up to the front door of her childhood home. Not much time had passed since the last time she stopped by, but it felt like it was far too long since she last saw her sisters. "I'm home!" 

Kasumi answered from the laundry room. "Akane? Is that you?"

Soun and Genma, the latter being in his cursed form, rose from their shogi game to greet the new arrival. Nabiki poked her head out of Happosai's old room in happy surprise. "Sis, did you bring Ranma?"

"Yeah, he's coming in with his mom."

The panda sighed. He was still reeling from the last frank discussion he had had with his wife. He sat back down at the shogi board and moved a few pieces around as Soun went to greet his daughter.

Kasumi held her hands together in front of her apron as she was walking into the foyer near the base of the stairs. "Oh my, you've grown."

"Grown?" Akane looked at her own clothes. She was wearing her Juuban High School uniform and simple flat heeled dress shoes. "How have I grown?"

Giving a knowing smile that only an elder sister could give, Kasumi held out her hand to her youngest sister. "You act much more mature."

"I do?" Akane blushed.

"Spending some time alone with your husband has changed you." Kasumi led her sister into the house. Ranma and Nodoka entered behind the pair.

"Hello everyone." Nodoka greeted her in-laws.

"Let's eat!" Called out Ranma as he charged to the dinner table.

"What have I told you about manners, son?" She gave a stern look that caused her son to slow down his trip to a free meal.

Nabiki made her presence known to the growing crowd. "Well, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?"

Seeing the reason for her trip across town, the Saotome elder took Nabiki aside. "May I have a private word with you?"

"Of course, let's go to my room."

Moments later, the two were by themselves in Nabiki's room. Nabiki closed her door for privacy. "What can I do for you?"

Nodoka was happy to ask for help from Nabiki. She felt that the girl's heart was in the right place. "Well, I just purchased some property in Juuban. I need to have a home built on it and I know that you can help us in getting the building permits expedited."

"A home built? Why didn't you just buy an existing home? If I recall, you had more than enough for a down payment on just about anything."

The elder sat down on Nabiki's bed, a sudden sadness overtook her. "Payments are not an option."

Nabiki saw that the older woman was distraught by the subject matter, but she had to get the facts of the matter at hand. She studied Mrs. Saotome's face to guess that the reason for her change of attitude was financial. Using her powers of deductive reasoning that had never failed her before when it came to money, she arrived at the correct answer. "It's about Genma, isn't it?"

Keeping her composure, she barely nodded her head in the affirmative.

Nabiki blinked as some facts didn't add up. "His creditors still visit here from time to time." She sat at her desk and unlocked a drawer extracting a sealed lock box. She turned the combination to open the box revealing the papers contained within. She flipped through some documents until she found what she was looking for. Studying a certain legal document, she asked a direct question to the elder. "Mrs. Saotome, how did you keep the bill collectors away from your bank account?"

Feigning ignorance, Nodoka looked up from the spot she was staring at on the floor. "Why would I need to do that?"

"I'm holding in my hand, a stack of judgments awarded to your husband's creditors. I'm still receiving new ones even now. As you know, your husband works at a manufacturing center, but his money is paid directly into the Tendo household bank account to get around the wage garnishments. How did you keep them away from your home?"

Nodoka tried to smile, but her emotional state forbade her from holding it long. "It was difficult."

"How long have you been divorced from Mr. Saotome? Or did you get a legal separation?"

Taking a deep breath, she psyched herself up to make the confession. It was a dark secret that the elder had kept from everyone she knew. Not even her closest friends knew what she had to do to survive the ten long years alone and wondering if she would ever see her son again. "My father..." She turned away so not to look at Nabiki's face and to hide her own shame. "He never approved of my choice of husband. Once the bill collectors came in droves, he bought the house from me and placed it in the protection of my clan. All the money went to pay the bills and since the house was not in my name anymore, it was safe."

Nabiki gulped since she was treading dangerous waters. "And now? You couldn't sell the house under your name or claim ownership since they'd take it from you."

"I..." Nodoka shuddered. "I'm... I'd better leave. Good day." She stood up holding her face in a blank expression.

"Now wait just one second." Nabiki blocked the door, preventing escape. "That would explain a lot."

"Please let me leave." Nodoka gripped her katana tightly.

The brown haired girl nervously licked her lips. "Don't run away from the truth like that good for nothing panda." She pressed against the door to ensure that it would take a great deal of effort to dislodge her. "When did you divorce him?"

The matriarch got angry at the accusation. "I did no such thing! I would never dishonor my family in such a manner."

"All right, when did you legally separate from him?"

"I didn't."

Calculating possible methods of handling finances as jumbled as Genma's, the Tendo reached another conclusion. "So, who's identity did you use? Your mother's?"

Nodoka sat back down on the bed in defeat. "You have to understand. I had to protect what little I had."

Nabiki knelt down in front of her sister's mother-in-law. Pride evident in her face at seeing how strong Nodoka was in the face of adversity. "I'm proud of you."

"W-what?" It wasn't a statement that she had expected. Nodoka lived in fear for years that she would be found out someday and would have to pay for her crimes.

"It's just what I would have done if I was in your shoes. The Japanese inheritance tax is completely unfair and having to deal with the creditors... I'm amazed you survived."

"Thank you." She weakly uttered, not really knowing what to do or say anymore.

Nabiki sat back down in her chair by her desk. She was sitting backwards with the back of the chair resting on her chest and placing her arms on the top of the backrest. "So, remind me again, what was this favor you needed from me?"

"Well, I just made an offer on a property in Juuban. I need a house built on it and I'd like it done soon."

"Hmmm... Juuban is a little out of my area. I can get stuff taken care of easily in Nerima but I'll have to dig around for contacts in the Minato ward. I'll need to pull in some serious favors. Do you have an architect picked out?"

"No. I hadn't really thought about all that goes into building a house. If they take my current offer, I should have enough to pay for the construction."

"Leave it all up to me." Glancing at a poster on the door, Nabiki formed a plan. "Could you do me a favor in return?"

"I think so. What is it?"

"Well... I'm going to stick my neck out for you on getting building permits fast so it's only reasonable I get really big favor from you in return." She got up to go to the closet. "I've been building a business for the last few months and I need Ranma's help."

"My son? I'm certain if you asked nicely, he'll help you out."

Nabiki had to hold back from laughing out loud at the suggestion. "I think it would be best if you asked him. You see, I need him in his girl form."

How unmanly was that? "Whatever for?"

Nabiki slid open the closet, pushed some hanging clothes aside to get a hangar wrapped in paper. She gently pulled out the garment and laid it out on the bed. "Ranma's the only person who can pull this off for me." She sighed. "I really didn't think it would go this far, but I need to convince them that I've got the backing of the Senshi."

Nodoka went pale. "T-the senshi? Y-y-ou know?"

"Well, I know he hangs out with them, but that's not important." She ripped the paper covering up the dress. "I had this made in his girl size since he's the only red head I know and he can fake her magic attacks."

On the bed lay a decent imitation of Sailor Sun's Senshi uniform. "I need him to pretend to be Sailor Sun for a meeting I've been trying to avoid."

"Pretend?" Nodoka bit her lip. "What are you planning to do?"

Now in familiar territory for the middle Tendo, she got into the details of her grand plan. "The Sailor Moon Fan Club isn't sharing any of the money they make with the Senshi. I'm going to put a stop to that once and for all. With Ranma's help, I can take over the operation and help fund the Senshi's work. At the minimum, I can set up a fund to help people who have lost property from their battles."

The opinion of Nabiki that Mrs. Saotome held grew by leaps and bounds. "Oh, how thoughtful of you. Have you spoken with Akane about this?"

"No. I've been keeping it a secret for a while. I've got a reputation to uphold." The Tendo laughed. "I've got to keep up the Ice Queen persona."

"I've never thought of you as an Ice Queen."

"That's because I've never needed you to think that." Nabiki grinned. "You have to keep your guard up at all times or they'll walk all over you."

The elder was curious about where the young girl gained such wisdom. "Where did you learn that?"

Wistfully thinking about the past, when her father had trained all three sisters in martial arts, Nabiki recalled with crystal clarity the lessons her father drilled into her. "My dad, when I was really young." She lowered he face and put on a slight frown. "Before mother left us."

Flashes of her own mother passing allowed Nodoka to empathize with the eighteen year old. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's in the past, and I'm planning out my future. Akane's gone, I'm graduating in a few weeks and Kasumi needs to move on with her life." She gestured to the poster on her wall. "I've got big plans for my future."

Nodoka gasped at the image that was printed on the poster. It was a wall sized image of Sailor Sun throwing a fireball with Sailor Io beside her throwing a ball of lava.

"How did you?" Mrs. Saotome felt a wave of respect for the young girl. She came to realize that Nabiki had to have been playing dumb all this time and had known about the secret identities of her brother-in-law and younger sister. She must have wanted to join in the fight for love and justice thinking that the battlefield of finance would be her domain. Nodoka glowed with pride and was about to speak.

Nabiki spoke first. "I used Photoshop. I got some pictures from Gosunkugi and other sources, put them in my computer and there you go." She looked at the perfect image of her sister wearing a yellow skirted Senshi uniform. "Wish I knew who they really were."

Nodoka wanted to giggle. She thought to herself, "I guess she doesn't know after all."

"Could you please ask Ranma to try on the dress for size? It means a lot to me. I've got a lot riding on this."

Nodoka stared at the poster. It was a perfect likeness of Ranko without her pig-tail wearing a red skirted Senshi uniform. Even the hard look in her eyes was copied down in perfect detail. Anyone looking at the poster should instantly know who was really depicted yet Nabiki claimed not to know. Nodoka needed to see if this disguise magic that her son had told her about truly was fool proof. "Are you sure those girls don't remind you of anyone?"

Nabiki puffed out a laugh in frustration. "I've been trying for weeks to figure out who those two are. I've got nothing to show for it. Same goes for the rest of them, I mean, Sailor Moon's hairstyle is so out there, that I should have spotted her long ago."

"Are you sure they don't look familiar." She didn't want to blow her son's cover, but she had to take a chance by testing Nabiki's knowledge. "Red hair is not very common."

"The only one I've found was a girl named Naru in Juuban. She's my closest lead. Couldn't be Ranma, he wouldn't be caught dead in one of those outfits. at least not without a little coaxing from you. Besides, Sailor Sun's a lot better looking anyways and she doesn't wear a pig tail." She got up to point at the ears. "See, pierced earrings, if that doesn't prove it, nothing will."

"I'll be right back." Nodoka held back her laughter. She didn't understand why it was obvious that the poster was of her son in female form to her but not to Nabiki. She stood at the doorway to Nabiki's room. "Son! Could you come up here please?"

"I'll be there in a minute!" Came a voice from the backyard, a loud splash followed, "Hey pops! I was talkin' to mom". A few loud blows finished the sparring match near the koi pond.

Kasumi handed a towel to Ranko when she approached the back door. Ranko wiped her pants leg dry since that was the only body part that got wet during her most recent trip into the pond. "Thanks, Kasumi."

Kasumi gave her happy contented smile. "I'll have some hot water ready for you in a few minutes."

"Thanks!" Ranko tossed the towel outside to her wet smelly panda of a father. "Don't say I don't do anything for ya pops!" She ran upstairs to her mother. "What's up mom?"

"Well." Nodoka was still unsure about proceeding, but she trusted Nabiki's heart and her good intentions. "Come with me, we need to see if something fits you."

Ranko smiled back at her mother. "Sure, just give me a minute to change back."

"Actually, it's for your girl form."

"Really?" Ranma sagged. "It's not another sun dress is it?"

Nabiki called out from inside the room. "As a matter of fact, it is." Nodoka stifled another giggle.

Ranko deeply sighed, she really wanted another set of shirts and pants to replace the ones she was quickly wearing out. "Ah, mom, I've got enough of them already. Please tell me you didn't buy me one of those bonnets too?"

Nabiki, still hidden from Ranko's view, opened up a plastic bag with a brass tiara. "No, I didn't get a bonnet for you."

Ranko grew very suspicious. "She bought me a dress? I'm afraid to look."

"Well, it won't hurt to try it on. Nabiki, for Ranma's sake, could you shut the drapes?"

"Sure thing." The sounds of curtains being pulled came from the room.

Ranko was now terrified. "What does she want me to wear? If this is another photo shoot, I'm outta here!"

Nabiki's voice sang from within her room. "C'mon in Ranma, I won't bite."

"Mom?" Ranko pleaded. "Am I going to be embarrassed?"

"Actually, I don't know." She opened the door allowing Ranko to see what Nabiki was joyfully holding out for her.

Ranko wanted to bolt back to Juuban, Yokohama, Texas and eventually end up in Brazil then take one step closer to the dress that her sister-in-law had. The yellow bow in the front was too small, the skirt was too long, the fabric didn't quite look right and the collar's shade of red was a little too light.

"Uh... Mom?" She squeaked out in a very high pitched voice. "How did she know?"

Nodoka whispered in Ranko's ear. "She doesn't know who you really are, just play along."

"Do I have to?"

"She's doing us a huge favor."

"But, not that dress. Oh, man." Ranma dropped her head.

With a playful tone, Nabiki shook the dress to attract attention to it. "C'mon Ranma, don't you like to play dress up?"

"No."

"I gotta see if it fits you."

"Why?" Ranko created a deadly serious look and raised her battle aura. "You're not taking any pictures of me wearing that."

"It's for a good cause."

"For you maybe, but I ain't putting that on."

"Your mother said it was okay." Nabiki gave a hopeful look to her mother-in-law to try to get her to get Ranko to agree.

"She's kidding, right mom?"

"We need her help to solve some... problems... I have. I didn't think it would hurt if you just heard her side of the story."

Ranko tiptoed to her mother's ear. "And if she recognizes me in that? What then?"

Nodoka whispered back, "I don't think she will. Let me show you something."

Ranko entered the room and her mother closed the door behind her. Nodoka looked at the poster, then at her part time daughter. There was no way in the world anyone couldn't see that they were one and the same person. Holding her daughter's shoulders to position her next to the poster, Nodoka smiled at Nabiki. "I think she'll be able to play the part perfectly, don't you agree daughter?"

Ranko rather wanted to be downstairs in the dining room devouring Kasumi's cooking than be trapped with Nabiki. She spied the drawn curtains and tried to decide if the window was open so she could jump to safety. "Yeah right, whatever, mom."

Nabiki stared at the sight in front of her. Ranko had the perfect shade of hair that matched Sailor Sun's. She was the right height, build and even her chest size matched. She clasped her hand's in glee. "She'll be able to fool them!"

Ranko raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Fool who?"

"Why, the Sailor Moon Fan Club, that's who. Now put this on." She took the hangar from the dress, holding the garment out for Ranko to take.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to put this on and fool the Sailor Moon Fan Club? Whatever for?" She held out her hands, waving Nabiki away. "Nevermind, I don't want to know."

"Strip, Saotome." Nabiki ordered.

"Fine!" She pulled off her red Chinese shirt exposing her bare breasts. Then she yanked off her pants leaving her boxers remaining. "Gimme that." She angrily snatched the dress from an ecstatic Nabiki. She was about to put it on when some facts dawned on her. "You're not taking any pictures, understand?"

"Fine by me." Rubbing her hands in anticipation, she went to her bed to get the fashion accessories.

Ranko turned the dress around and around. "Uh... How to I put this on?"

Without looking back from the bed, Nabiki answered, "There's a zipper in the back."

Quietly muttering, "It's much easier just saying Sun Star Power, Make Up!" She unzipped the back of the dress and slid it on.

Nodoka sat in Nabiki's chair laughing. Nabiki turned around, took one look at Ranko and laughed as well.

Ranko was miffed. She straightened out her sailor collar yet couldn't quite place why the dress didn't feel right. "What's so funny?"

Nabiki pointed at the skirt and burst out laughing, rolling on the floor in hysterics.

"What?" She looked at the red skirt, seeing only that the fabric and length were wrong and there was a strange ripple around where the leg openings of the leotard was. She lifted up her skirt, much to the amusement of her mother, to find the fabric of her boxer shorts protruding. "Oh."

"Y-You really need to learn to wear panties." Nabiki was able to blurt out before falling on the floor again.

Ranko dropped the fabric of the skirt in anger. "Ya couldn't warn me about that?"

"Now, daughter, you should know about proper undergarments by now." Her mother giggled.

"Ha ha ha! Very funny, mom." Ranko was about to remove the outfit when there was a knock at the door.

"What's so funny in there?" Akane's concerned voice came from behind the door.

Nodoka opened the door before Ranko could protest. Akane and Kasumi stood there and together gave looks of surprise.

"It's not what it looks like!" Ranko blurted out reflexively.

"Of course, Ranma." Kasumi calmly answered. "For one, your front bow is too small, your skirt is too long and the collar is the wrong shade of red."

Akane didn't know what to say, but the lack of boots and the errors in the costume gave her a big clue as to what was going on. She glared ice daggers at her middle sister while trying to figure out just who to smash into the ground.

"Shall I make the alterations?" Kasumi asked Nabiki.

Nabiki held out the phony tiara for Ranko. She slid it under her red hair for size. "That's close enough." Nabiki brushed the skirt and examined the length. "You really think the skirt is too long?"

Akane, Nodoka and Kasumi all nodded in agreement. Ranko wanted to teleport away to another solar system. Kasumi walked over to Ranko to see what she could do with the costume to get it to look right. Akane entered, shutting the door behind her to keep the remaining males of the household from showing up.

Kasumi tugged and patted the skin tight costume on her female brother-in-law to inspect the workmanship. "I'll have to replace the bows, the collar can be re-dyed and the skirt will be a simple alteration."

The middle Tendo held her fingers to her lips as she contemplated any possible problems to her plans. "When can you do this? I really need her to go with me tomorrow afternoon."

Ranko coughed. "Tomorrow? Wait, I didn't even agree to go anywhere in this. All I said I'd do is put it on. Now I'm taking it off." She reached behind to undo the zipper, but Kasumi was already unzipping it for her.

"Tsk, Tsk, boxer shorts?" Kasumi snickered.

"Hey! It wasn't that I was planning on being a girl today." She hopped out of the dress and yanked off the fake tiara, tossing it onto the bed. "Now, my job is done." She grabbed her clothes, putting them back on in a few seconds.

Folding the costume neatly, Kasumi estimated the amount of work she'd need to do. "I can get this fixed tomorrow before lunchtime if I can get enough yellow Lycra for the new bows from the fabric store. The collar and the skirt, I'll have those done tonight."

Nabiki's plans were going to come to fruition after all. "Excellent. Ranma, can you meet me downtown for a five o'clock meeting?"

Ranko raised her hands as if she was warding off a vampire. "No. No way, no how, I dunno what you're up to, and I don't want any part of it."

Lost in thought, near the bed, Kasumi held up the tiara, examining its workmanship. "The tiara is very close. Only the gem's color is incorrect." She opened a box containing a pair of Sailor Sun boots. "I'll have to dye these boots a brighter shade of red and paint on the white trim." She turned the pair of leather boots over. "Yes, these will do nicely."

Ranko backed away from Nabiki. "Ya know, I kinda like the dress as it is. Ya know, it makes it less likely that someone would really think that Sailor Sun is me."

Nabiki let out a laugh. "As if someone would be that stupid. Who'd think YOU were Sailor Sun?"

Ranko and Akane looked at something interesting at the ceiling. Nodoka laughed, confident that the disguise magic was working perfectly and Kasumi blissfully inspected the ribbon choker. "I can make a better looking choker than this. It's the one for Sailor Mars I assume?"

Nabiki nodded. "Yeah, same goes for the tiara, it was all I could get at the costume shop."

Kasumi opened the package that the tiara was stored in. "Where's the earrings?"

"I didn't get any. Everything they had that came close was for pierced ears."

"I think I can make some that will look similar." Kasumi looked at Ranko's earlobes. "I think I've got a pair that I can adjust to look right."

Nabiki looked at Ranko's earlobes noticing that they were indeed pierced. "Ranma?"

"What?" She replied as Kasumi was testing the Sailor Mars choker's size around her neck.

"Why didn't you tell me you pierced your ears?"

"Pierced? Oh yeah, that... Why should I?" Ranko straightened her neck to allow Kasumi to tie the choker on.

"Hmm... Nothing. Nothing at all." Nabiki held her hand over her mouth thinking about the reason that Ranma had her ears pierced. Several scenarios flipped through her mind only to lock onto the bridal training Ranko had done under her mother's supervision. Complete and total understanding filled the Tendo's consciousness as it was plain to her that Nodoka must have purchased a set of training earrings for Ranko to allow the neo-girl to wear proper female jewelry.

Satisfied with the measurements she took, Kasumi untied the choker from Ranko's neck and slid it and the tiara back into their storage bag. "I'm done, Ranma. I'll serve dinner for you now." She smiled and left the room with the costume in hand.

"I'm still not doin' it." Ranko grumbled to Nabiki. "And you can't make me."

"Please?" Nabiki begged.

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No way!" Ranko swung her arms downward in frustration. "I'm not going out wearing that thing. I mean, what if somebody saw me?"

Nabiki saw the opening, with the skill of a financial martial artist, she delivered a blow. "What if I can arrange that nobody saw you, well, nobody that knows who you are?"

"Just what are you plotting to do that needs me to wear that?" Ranko stammered, violently shaking her body with each syllable.

"I just told you, I've got to meet with the owner of the Sailor Moon Fan Club and I need a Senshi to be with me."

Ranko held her arms to her side trying to understand why all this stuff happens to her. "Then dye your hair blue and call yourself Sailor Mercury. You don't need me."

"Hey, that was my first thought." Nabiki snorted out. "I really wanted to have a Sailor Io costume and have Akane pass for her, but no one made Sailor Senshi costumes with a yellow skirt. There didn't seem to be any demand for it."

Akane's battle aura began to glow. "No... Demand..."

"Besides, they are almost certainly going to require you to show that you can do a magical attack." Ranko paled at the thought. Nabiki continued, "I just need you to do that Moko Takabisha thing that you do and they'll be convinced."

Ranko just stood there open mouthed. "I'm going downstairs now." She staggered out the door, too emotionally drained to continue the conversation.

Akane smoldered in the corner of the room. "No... Demand..."

Once Ranko was out of earshot, Nabiki went over to Ranko's mother handing her a sheet of paper that was in the bin of her printer. "Could you please see that she gets to this address at four thirty. I need some time to coach her on what to say. I really can't blow this meeting."

"What will you do if I can't convince her to go?"

Sighing, Nabiki pulled out a second costume from the closet. It was a Sailor Mercury uniform. "I guess I'll be dyeing my hair blue and going as Sailor Mercury."

Akane continued to smoke in the corner. "No... Demand..."

* * *

Kiima lay flat on the egg she was keeping warm like a mother hen. She lovingly petted the hard calcium shell cooing softly to the occupant inside. A few meters away, huddled together surrounded by candles, were Koruma and Masara playing another game of Yu-Gi-Oh. Kiima didn't mind that her men were playing a card game instead of keeping guard since they deserved a break for a job well done. 

Resting her ear to the egg, listening for the moment of truth, the Captain of Phoenix Mountain heard what she was waiting for. She gently slid off the egg and sat eyes forward patiently waiting for the hatching. The egg gently moved, soft at first then more rapidly as the girl inside awoke and the instinct to break free overtook her.

Kiima smiled. She knew their stay in Japan would end soon and they would fly home with the map in hand proving her worth as the commander of the Phoenix Mountain warriors to her Lord Saffron. For several moments, she worried that she would fail her superior, but now she was only hours away from another successful mission. Cracks appeared in the top of the egg as another impact from within shattered the quiet of the early morning.

A small fist punched through the shell and a gasp sounded as the girl inside breathed fresh air. Kiima peered inside the egg to ensure that the hatchling would imprint on her and only her. A pair of childlike eyes stared back and a soft voice asked. "Are you a delinquent?"

Kiima squinted her avian eyes in the darkness of the egg to get a better look at the occupant. She blinked her eyes as she adjusted to the blackness as the little girl moved within. The voice that Kiima heard from her prisoner didn't have a hint of a Chinese accent and it gave her a feeling of dread.

Satisfied that the imprinting had succeeded, Kiima pulled her head out of the eggshell and stood back allowing the hatchling to emerge. Her minions did a quick glance to see what was making the noise that disturbed their card game, but as soon as they realized it was nothing concerning them, they returned to the game.

Crossing her arms and tapping her fingers, the Captain watched in morbid fascination as to whom was really in the egg. The top of the egg collapsed downward and a small Japanese girl in a yellow miniskirt came out. "Can I have some ice cream, Mommy?"

The morning sun provided enough light for Kiima to get a good look at her new brainwashed minion. "Koruma! Masara! Front and center!" The two men shuddered at the tone of the voice of the superior officer. Stashing their cards quickly, they stood at attention directly in front of their commander and saluted.

Miss Hinako Ninomiya brushed the remaining eggshell off of her dress and stood next to her 'mother'. "Can we go now?"

Kiima's battle aura raged. She stared at her two minions in disgust. Once again they had failed her. "How did you screw this up? This isn't the girl from Jusenkyo!"

The two men looked at each other in surprise. Koruma shrank a little in resignation to his eventual beating. "But, she looked just like her."

"She looks nothing like her!" She got a better look at her new charge. "She's Japanese, her hairstyle is all wrong and brown instead of black."

"Are those boys being delinquents?" Miss Hinako reached into her pocket to extract a coin.

Contemplating a punishment to fit the crime, Kiima softly answered. "They're incompetent. I need to punish them."

Miss Hinako took a battle stance holding one arm to her hip and the other outstretched in the direction of the two men. She held her coin between two fingers in a 'v' symbol. "Happo fifty yen satsu!" Waves of energy were drained from the two men in a matter of seconds making the little girl grow to the size of a voluptuous mature woman. The men became dried paper thin husks floating to the ground.

With a flick of her wrist, she made a fist hiding her coin. Speaking in a sultry voice, she addressed her victims. "Behold the power of the 'Anything Goes School of Martial Arts' technique, the Happo fifty yen satsu.'

Kiima raised her eyebrows, smirking in delight. "I may have a use for you, after all."

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from stealing your Sailor Senshi costume that you secretly wear when no one's looking. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 25th, 2007

* * *


	9. Bird Fighting

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 9: Bird fighting

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or replace the motor oil in my car with Heinz Ketchup.

* * *

A soft hum came from the electric alarm clock sitting on the floor, next to the head of Konatsu's futon. The alarm buzzer went off filling the air with noise, bringing the kunoichi out of his peaceful dream of life with his mistress. He stretched out, quickly tossing off his thin blanket, and stared at the ceiling of his little room to welcome another beautiful day. As far as he was concerned, any day Konatsu spent in the company of Ukyou, was a day to be cherished. He got dressed, performed his morning chores and went to the back alley behind the restaurant to set up for martial arts practice with his beloved Mistress. 

Placing a wooden target for spatula and shuriken practice in place, he scraped off the wood splinters with a steel brush to smooth out the well worn surface. He froze in place, as his senses felt that someone was nearby. Attracted to a soft sound coming out of an old rusted trash dumpster near the end of the alley, Konatsu set aside his brush and tapped on the side of the large refuse container. "Okay, Tsubasa, you can come on out now."

The sound from within went quiet. The ninja broke the silence by singing in a mirthful tone. "Ukyou still won't go out with you." He popped the lid open. "So you can go back to..."

Inside the dumpster wasn't his cross dressing rival for Ukyou's affections, but a rather young Chinese girl covered in newspapers instead of blankets. Her hair was disheveled, her clothes were filthy and she looked like she hadn't eaten in a while. Images of Konatsu's previous living arrangements with his step-family flashed through his head, filling his heart with empathy and pity for the little girl's plight. "Hello, there."

The girl was awake, but she didn't respond. She shivered from the cold and chattered her teeth, trying to obtain warmth from her filthy clothes. Now that she had been discovered, she didn't need to keep her presence hidden and made shivering sounds.

Reaching into the bin with a friendly hand, Konatsu batted his eyes and gave a motherly smile. "Come with me. I'll take you inside and I can get you a nice glass of milk. Would you like that?"

Plum curled up tighter, thinking about her long lost family and the futility of all that had happened to her in the last few weeks. She didn't offer any resistance and fell limp as the kunoichi picked her up and carried her into the restaurant.

"Phew!" Konatsu held his nose to avoid the strong aroma coming from the sleeping child as he slowly entered the restaurant. Setting her down in his futon, he brushed her gently to get rid of the larger pieces of trash that had stuck to her. He pulled a blanket over her cold form and reassured her that she was safe. "Don't worry, little one. I'll take care of you." Wiping away a little grime from her face with a napkin, Konatsu whispered into her ear. "I'll be right back with that milk I promised."

Ukyou came down the stairs in her workout gi with a bokken strapped to her belt. Her nose alerted her to a change in the ambient aroma of the store in moments. "Hey, there!" She noticed the open back door and a trail of trash leading into her roommate's bedchamber. "You're supposed to take the trash outside. Not inside." She held her hand to her face in disgust. "And what is that smell?"

"Sorry, but I have to get some milk." He kneeled and bowed before his mistress. "I found a little girl."

"Huh? A little girl?" Ukyou looked back at the garbage trail, thinking thoughts of the unimaginable leapt into her mind. "Oh, my god! Someone didn't..." She took a step back, holding her hands to her face in revulsion that someone would toss a newborn child into a dumpster. "How could someone do that?"

Her kunoichi jumped up to grab Ukyou before she walked backwards into a stool. "I don't know, she's in my room and she's hungry."

Nodding in agreement, the chef straightened up when her kunoichi released her after he was sure she wasn't going to fall onto the floor. Konatsu vanished and reappeared in front of the refrigerator, quickly pouring some fresh milk into a small cup. Ukyou tiptoed over to Konatsu's open door to take a peek inside, not knowing what she really was going to find.

The sight on the bed both relieved and sickened her. The girl wasn't a baby, but she looked pathetic nonetheless. She reeked of garbage, her clothes were filthy, her skin was sickly pale and she shivered as if she had slept in a freezer.

"Hello, there." Ukyou whispered to the little girl.

Tiny eyes fluttered open in fear to the unfamiliar voice. The girl reeled back in panic, looking for an avenue of escape. A moment later, she calmed down after noticing that Ukyou didn't appear to be an immediate threat. "Hello, honored guest." She meekly replied.

"Honored guest? That's a new one." The Chinese accent and the ragged hairstyle the little girl wore gave Ukyou the clues she needed to find out who to contact about this girl's parents. "Are you an Amazon?"

Plum sagged in her place, softly weeping. "Not anymore. Not strong enough to be Amazon."

Konatsu appeared, holding a small cup of cold milk. "Here you go." He held his hand on Ukyou's shoulder to balance himself as he reached forward to give the white liquid to the thirsty little girl.

Drinking it like she had been without water for days, the little girl made short work of the cow juice. She belched and held the cup outward in return. "Excuse me. More please?"

"Don't mention it." Taking the cup, Ukyou held it over her shoulder. "Get her another cup."

"Of course mist... Ucchan." He disappeared and reappeared in a moment with the cup refilled. "Here you are."

Ukyou smiled at her cross dressing friend. "Thank you." She held out the cup to Plum. "What's your name little girl?"

"Plum." She made a small bow. "Thank you for your hospitality." She politely took the cup and drank from it, much slower than last time, taking a moment to actually taste the cold milk.

"Plum? That's an odd name." Ukyou pondered. In her opinion, the girl must have been either an Amazon or affiliated with them in some way, for only those weird Chinese natives would name a girl after a fruit. "Where are your parents?"

Plum curled up into a ball, not wanting to continue talking. Her eyes glazed over as she allowed despair to take her again. She wanted desperately to believe that her father was still alive, but her hope was almost utterly destroyed.

Ukyou moved closer to Plum to give her a motherly hug. "Don't worry. We'll take care of you."

Plum whimpered. "They'll be here soon. I know it."

Ukyou and Konatsu exchanged glances. The chef stroked the little girl's hair to make her feel better. "Who?"

The little Amazon in training gripped Ukyou in a death hug, weeping. "The ones who killed my father."

* * *

Kuno sat in his bedchamber, contemplating the plight of his true loves. He had stayed awake for many hours, never giving into a restless sleep, waiting for the phone call that would change his life forever. Well, maybe not forever, but it certainly would change someone's life. 

Ring! The phone didn't have time to finish the first bell before Kuno grabbed the handset, nearly ripping it off and destroying the phone in the process to answer the call. He summoned all of his inner strength to keep his cool calm exterior intact. With a soothing voice, he answered. "Kuno residence, how can I assist you?"

The voice of Hiro from the Sailor Moon Fan Club was heard on the other end of the phone line. "I wish to speak with Tatewaki Kuno, please."

Kuno barely held back his joy, for this could possibly be the phone call he had been waiting for. "This is he."

Snapping the three ring binder shut, the owner of the Fan Club felt relief that the job he took to create the book of Senshi Marriage laws had drawn to a close. "Your book is ready, you can pick it up at..."

Kuno stood at attention, hand instinctively grasping the hilt of his bokken as if the act would someone speed up time. "I'll have my man servant there in a moment."

Hiro rolled his eyes. It was seven in the morning and he hadn't gotten any sleep in order to make the silly deadline that Kuno imposed. He whispered in his mind, I put myself through hell for two million yen. If this idiot stiffs me, he'll be hearing from my lawyer. Raising his voice to audible level for the phone conversation, he spoke with the conviction of a businessman. "Very well, the office opens at..." A shadow fell over the man's desk, startling the man. "Who are you?"

Clasping his hands in a sign of respect, Sasuke bowed before Hiro. "Forgive my intrusion. I've been sent by my master to retrieve the book."

The book wasn't going anywhere as far as Hiro was concerned without his bonus being paid in full. He held the binder with a tight grip to prevent its unexpected departure without payment. "Do you have the balance?"

"Balance?" Sasuke answered quizzically.

Speaking into the phone to his paying customer, Hiro rephrased his question. "Sir, I need the payment before I'll release the book."

"That pittance?" Kuno thought, while releasing his bokken and making a fist in triumph. "Ask my servant for the envelope he carries. You will find your compensation contained within."

Cupping his hand over the receiver, Hiro asked the ninja hanging from the ceiling. "Do you have an envelope for me?"

Bowing from his inverted position again, a task that Sasuke had years of experience mastering, he groveled. "Forgive me." He held out a small white envelope that was addressed to Hiro.

Hiro opened the letter finding two million yen in large notes. Smiling at a job well done, and money well earned, he slid the pink three ring binder on his desk with a cover printed from an industrial color laser printer over to Sasuke. The title of 'The Rules of Engagement' was in the Sailor Moon font with little moon symbols lining the borders and a cute little drawing of Sailor Moon winking an eye adoring the lower right corner of the page. "There you go." He directed his voice to the phone. "Your friend here has the book. Pleasure doing business with you."

Kuno felt the calling of his loves deep in his heart. He knew without a sliver of doubt that they were another step closer to eternal happiness in his care. "The pleasure was all mine good sir." He placed the phone on the hook, looking up at a poster of Sailor Io. "The pleasure was all mine."

* * *

Ranma awoke with a start and feeling of utter doom. He vaguely recalled a dream he had had with Tatewaki Kuno chanting "I love you, I will date with you," over and over again. He shivered in terror at the mere memories of his three dates with Kuno while in female form. The first date was when he tried to be freed of his girl curse with a magic sword that the kendoist had somehow obtained. The second was when he had to prove his 'love' to Kuno for a martial arts cheerleading contest against Mariko Konjo of Seisyun High School. His final date was when he had to convince Kuno to compliment a cursed swimsuit before it cast Ranma out to sea at sunset. Perspiration formed on his brow as the events of his 'dates' with Kuno came back to haunt him in his nightmares. He shook his head back and forth rapidly to banish those memories back to the dark pit from whence they came. 

He just knew that today wasn't going to be a pleasant one and he resisted the urge to call Sailor Pluto to send him to tomorrow, just so he wouldn't have to face whatever was to transpire in the next twenty-four hours. He glanced around his tiny bedroom, holding on to his sleeping wife curled up next to him, peacefully sprawled out on the bed with her foot lodged in a hole in the wall that she had created when she kicked in her sleep. Ranma's danger sense subsided and he laid back down in his bed and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Sitting upright from the noise in the bedroom, Nodoka saw the morning sun rising in the east from the balcony window. She was restless from the excitement of being a new homeowner today, even though the home required some assembly. She got up to make some breakfast for her two children and eventually send them off to school.

* * *

"Caw, Caw." A blackbird called out from atop the dumpster behind Ucchan's. In the distance, dozens of other birds answered the call, blanketing the sky with dark spots and the sound of cackles. Across the rooftops of Nerima, the message was relayed from treetop to treetop until it ended up at the ear of the intended recipient. 

Kiima called back to her kindred kind. "Kuu, kuu." A few bird calls later, they responded. "Kii, kii, caw." Kiima listened for the response and it came in the form of more cryptic bird calls. Smiling in triumph, she turned to her three minions.

Masara and Koruma were off snoring in the corner. Kiima was disgusted with her men's performance so far in their little adventure in Japan. The only reason these two men were chosen for this assignment was the fact that of all the soldiers she had under her command, these two were the only ones other than herself that spoke fluent Japanese. A language the two had learned solely to watch the Yu-Gi-Oh television series direct from Japan. She turned to her newest minion, a tiny girl in a yellow mini-skirt and the ability to drain battle auras. Kiima hoped that this girl would be able to follow directions better than her two so called 'trained' soldiers.

Sighing, Kiima knew that it wasn't very hard to find anyone better that Koruma and Masara. She gently kicked Koruma to rouse him from his deep sleep. "Wake up. We're moving out!"

Hinako whined at the noise. "But Mommy, I don't want to go to school!"

Kicking Masara to bring him back into the land of the living, Kiima faced the direction that would lead them to a certain okonomiyaki establishment. "We're not going to school. We're going to get what rightfully belongs to us."

In a few moments, all four were ready to leave the nest and try again to obtain the object of their mission. The two men flew off first with Kiima flying in the rear of the formation, carrying a frightened little girl. Shivering in fright from being carried aloft, hundreds of meters in the air, Hinako cried. "Eeek! Don't drop me!"

* * *

"Sasuke!" Kuno called out to his empty bedroom, again. "Where for art thou?" 

"Here I am, master!" The diminutive ninja bowed, holding out the book that his lord had craved for.

Snatching the binder as if it was the latest Harry Potter novel, hot off the presses, Kuno began to read the words inside. "Interesting. Oooooh, pretty pictures!"

Beads of sweat formed on the little ninja's forehead and gained in size. As time went on, Sasuke's clothes were soaking wet with utter worry and fright since he knew that nothing good would come from Kuno's latest plan for Akane's domination. His master's eyes filled with a manic look while a smile formed that should never be present on a mere mortal. The servant trembled in sheer horror as he contemplated the twisted thoughts that Kuno must have been having that would generate such a macabre expression on his face.

Kuno turned to the last page and read it in delight. He slammed the book shut, shouting in glee, finding the key that he had desperately been searching for. "YES! My loves can be freed from his spell!" He gazed at his man servant. "Sasuke! Bring out the limousine, we have to go downtown to send a message to the Senshi!"

"Don't you have school today, Master?" He asked already knowing the answer.

Kuno was already walking toward the door of the bedroom. "This cannot wait my good man. Every moment I delay, only prolongs their suffering. Don't dally, prepare my coach."

Sighing in defeat, Sasuke lowered his head thinking about where the local bail bondsmen were located in the downtown area. "Where are we going?"

With hearts in his eyes and a pure vacuum for a brain, Kuno walked with a dreamy look on his face. "To my appointment with fate." He softly spoke. "To my appointment with fate!"

* * *

"Just what in the world is going on out there?" Ukyou tied the belt on her gi and grabbed her battle spatula. She exited the open back door to find that the alley was filled with black birds. All the trash cans, dumpsters and loose wooden crates were completely covered with birds and bird poo. "What is this? A bird convention? Shoo! Shoo!" She waved her giant baker's peel to scare off the birds, but they flew back to their resting places after each swing. 

Hearing the bird's squawk at each other, Plum retreated into a corner of Konatsu's room. "No! Please leave me alone! You can have the map!"

The kunoichi slid close to the little girl, trying to comfort her. "No one's going to bother you." He thought about what Plum had just said. "What map are you talking about?"

Plum pulled out a sheet of paper and crumpled it up. "Here!" She threw the wad across the room, where it bounced off the wall landed on the floor.

Outside, Ukyou was having no luck getting rid of the ever growing collection of birds. "Where are you coming from, you Alfred Hitchcock extras?" She took another swing and then all of the birds took to the air, darkening the alley and making it difficult to see.

Ukyou ran back into the safety of the shop and slammed the back door shut. Konatsu appeared next to Ukyou to offer his assistance. "What happened out there?"

The chef shook her head in disbelief. "I don't know. One minute, the birds were there, the next, they're flying around like something scared them."

A spooky voice came from Konatsu's room. "They're here."

Ukyou took a step away from the back door she was barricading. She asked Plum. "Who's here?"

Plum peeked out of the corner she was hiding in. "The bird people."

The two older people replied in unison. "The who?"

The door shuddered under a loud impact coming from outside. A second later, the door was kicked in by a tall white haired woman holding a very large nasty looking two handed sword. "Where is she?"

Ukyou held her spatula at the ready. "Hey! You're going to pay for that!" She sized up her opponent and mentally prepared counter moves.

Konatsu reached for his practice sword and held it ready. He stood behind and to the side of his mistress ready to back her up.

Kiima ignored Ukyou and looked around the interior of the restaurant from her vantage point. She called out to someone behind Konatsu. "Have you spotted her yet?"

Masara, aiming his bow at Konatsu, took another look around the dining area. "She not out here."

Upstairs, Koruma stepped out of Ukyou's bedroom. "She's not up here either."

Ukyou was nervous. There were at least three of these people and she had no idea how they got in without her knowing and what they were capable of. All three sported wings and bird like talons for hands, tell tale signs to the girl that these were not ordinary foes. She wished Ranma was nearby, he would know what to do. Standing ready for anything, she issued a challenge. "Who are you looking for and what right do you have barging in like this?"

Not wanting to start a fight if she could avoid it, Kiima held her left hand about a meter above the ground while holding her sword in the other hand. "I'm looking for a Chinese girl about this high. She has something I want."

Ukyou tightened her grip on her weapon. They weren't going to harm a little girl on her watch. "Get out of my restaurant!" She lunged at Kiima, bringing the flat of her blade down on the Captain.

Kiima jumped backward to avoid the blow. "Attack!"

Masara launched an arrow at Konatsu. He blinked his eyes in shock as the kunoichi grabbed the arrow in mid-air an instant before it was to imbed itself into his chest. Konatsu snapped the arrow in half and threw a blunt shuriken at the stunned warrior in retaliation. Masara was knocked out cold from the blow to his head.

Koruma jumped into the air from the top of the stairs. He opened his wings and threw dozens of razor sharp feathers at the kunoichi. The ninja leapt under a table in a booth for cover holding a stack of menus as a shield. The entire booth was instantly filled with feathers making it look like a giant pincushion. Konatsu thought to himself, "Ucchan is going to be mad. We had these menus printed just last week."

Ukyou had her own problems to deal with. Kiima was swinging her two handed Chinese sword and was holding her own against Ukyou's spatula. The two women exchanged blows with sharp metal clangs marking each and every strike. Neither girl gave any ground as they swung and connected with each other's weapon. Kiima grew frustrated with her lack of progress in her fight and gave a whistle.

Stepping back to take a look for any sign of a new opponent, Ukyou charged to make quick work of her foe when she heard a familiar voice from High School. "Happo five yen satsu!" Kiima ducked to the ground to give Hinako a clear shot at her student. Waves of energy seeped from Ukyou as she lost her will to fight.

"Ucchan!" Cried out Konatsu as he dropped Koruma's unconscious body to the ground. He pulled a steel dart out of the bow in his hair and threw it into the hole in the center of the five yen coin, stopping the energy draining attack.

An adult Hinako huffed, "So, you're a delinquent too!" She dropped her coin and produced another one. "I'll punish you! Happo five..." Her coin was knocked out of her hand by an expertly thrown dish. Undeterred, she pulled out another coin that was also knocked out of her hand by a sake cup.

Konatsu rapidly closed the distance between himself and the sultry adult sized teacher. Miss Hinako walked backwards to buy her some time as she grabbed another coin from her pocket to fire off another attack.

Not noticing that Kiima was still very much awake, but still lying face down on the floor playing possum, Konatsu got into arms reach giving the bird woman an opening. She grabbed the ninja's leg, knocking him to the floor. Without warning, Konatsu returned the favor with a well placed kick in Kiima's back. Reeling in pain, Kiima swiped with her clawed hand, slashing Konatsu's leg.

The kunoichi twisted his entire body around to force Kiima to release her iron grip on his leg and used his arms to climb up the wall to the ceiling. He performed a spider crawl to hang on to the roof, out of Kiima's range.

"Happo five-yen satsu!" Miss Hinako had a clear shot and took it. Konatsu cleared his mind and dropped his battle aura to nullify the effects of the chi-drain attack. Hinako jumped up and down in fury. "Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!" She fumbled around for another coin. Not wanting to give the adult Hinako a second chance, Konatsu bounced off of a wall and delivered a stun blow, taking Hinako out, just like he had sent Koruma to dreamland.

"Thousand Wings of the Seabird Attack!" Kiima spewed out dozens of feathers at Konatsu, hoping she'd be able to take him out while he was busy with Hinako.

The ninja was too fast for her as he jumped outside into the alley and rolled away from the open doorway. The wooden wall of the store next door was peppered with feathers.

Kiima ran outside, hoping to be able to deliver a final blow before the kunoichi recovered. Opening her wings to deliver another attack, she was struck by three shurikens coming from nowhere. "You bitch!" Cried out Kiima, in agony. She held out her sword and deflected the other flying discs that came her way. "I'll get you for that!"

The Captain flew upwards and dive bombed Konatsu's position behind a large dumpster, sword held out in defense. Only at the last second did she swing her blade at her opponent. Sparks flew as her blade missed Konatsu's head and sliced off a piece of the dumpster's steel lid.

The strange game of death tag lasted over two minutes, with neither adversary gaining or losing ground. Kiima remained on the offensive, getting angrier and angrier as her wounds increased in pain. Twice Konatsu scored shuriken strikes while the flying girl never landed a clean blow. The fight spilled into the street, passerbys ran for cover as the two fighters tried as hard as they could to defeat the other.

Koruma woke up from his stack of menus induced nap, rubbing his forehead where a lump was forming. He heard a whimper from a room under the stairs and went to check it out.

Kiima sent another volley of feathers to distract the kunoichi, keeping him off guard to prevent him from delivering another shuriken strike. Kiima was tiring quickly and was losing too much blood from her wounds to continue for much longer. She silently cursed out this ninja because he had ruined her plans for a quick and easy recovery of the map. She inhaled to give the retreat whistle when salvation arrived.

"Happo fifty-yen satsu!" Hinako aimed her energy attack to cover the entire street. Everywhere, pedestrians fell to the ground shriveled up as if a youma drained them of their energy. Konatsu wasn't spared and jumped into the air to avoid all of his energy from leaving him.

Without hesitation, Kiima sent yet another barrage of feathers at her mark. With some of his energy gone, Konatsu couldn't dodge in time and took numerous feathers into his chest, sending him down and slamming into the pavement below.

Miss Hinako, in adult form, stood over her fallen foe. "Humph! No one escapes my punishment, delinquent."

Kiima landed next to her new minion, unable to fold her wings with all the tiny cuts courtesy of Konatsu. "Excellent work." She sneered at Konatsu and held her sword over his head. "Now, to finish her, once and for all!" Just when she was about to slice Konatsu into two equal halves, a flurry of mini-spatula's came from behind, startling the bird woman.

"Leave my Ko-Chan alone!" Ukyou huffed as she pulled more spatulas from her bandolier that she had hastily flung over her shoulder. She leaned against a telephone pole, keeping her balance as she forced herself to recover her lost energy from Hinako's previous attack.

"You again!" Kiima pointed her sword at the chef, not believing the tenacity of the pair she was fighting. "Won't either of you learn to stay down? Take her out again and make sure she doesn't get back up!" Kiima directed to Hinako as the Captain's face flushed red with rage.

Happy to please her Mistress, Miss Hinako aimed her coin at the weakened cook. A well placed spatula slammed into Hinako's forehead, knocking her out cold. Kiima readied her sword and began to run to press her advantage when a foot entangled itself with her boot, tripping her flat on her face.

Konatsu, making an instant recovery that would impress even Ranma, landed on the Phoenix Mountain Captain, inflicting great suffering as her wings were pressed down in a awkward position. Kiima screamed in pain and her cuts were further aggravated by being ground into the pavement. Wordlessly, the kunoichi repeatedly punched Kiima's back in an effort to knock the wind out of her and end the fight. Using strength reserves that only intense agony and anger could generate, Kiima rolled on the ground to pin the ninja under her and shoved her elbow into Konatsu's stomach. "How dare you!" Angrier than before, Kiima flapped her wings, sending feathers everywhere, creating a cloud blinding her hated adversary.

Intentionally losing his grip to swat away a few feathers that would have pinned him to the ground, the ninja squirmed out from under the larger girl and backflipped over to Ukyou. He paused for a moment to check on his mistress. "Are you alright?"

Ukyou barely nodded then flashed an expression of worry. "Plum!"

"Oh no! I'll be right back." Konatsu glanced at where Hinako and Kiima were and found that they had disappeared. Rethinking his situation, he grabbed Ukyou, tossed her over his shoulder and ran as fast as he could back to the restaurant. He made poor time with the extra weight and the after effects of the chi drain and entered through the open back door.

He took a quick look around and found that the other two men had also vanished. He entered his room and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Plum still cowering in the corner. He gently placed Ukyou down on his futon and made another check of his surroundings for any possible threat. Satisfied for the moment that he wasn't in any immediate danger, he smiled at Plum. "Are you okay?"

"I am now." Plum meekly smiled then frowned. "They took the map."

Konatsu slumped on the floor, holding his stomach. "Is that bad?"

"Yes. Very bad."

The ninja's eyes rolled back into his head as he fell backwards. A small red stain formed under his hand.

* * *

Looking up at the building that Sasuke had stopped in front of, the man servant couldn't imagine what his master was up to. He was happy that the Kuno family attorney had an office only three blocks away from their current location, just in case he was needed. 

"Stay here my good servant. I'll conclude my business in an hour or so." Tatewaki Kuno paused for a moment after he disembarked the rickshaw. "Mirror!"

A hand mirror appeared in Sasuke's hand and he held it in a position for Kuno to look at himself. The kendoist turned his head from side to side, admiring him reflection. "Yes, perfect."

Kuno entered the lobby of Tokyo-TV, passing numerous people going about their business. He walked to the receptionist, making a valiant pose. "My good man!"

The bored gentleman behind the counter looked up from his phone monitor to greet the newcomer. Wondering where this odd person came from was the least of his worries as he saw that the new arrival had a weapon attached to his belt. "Do you have an appointment?"

Giving an all knowing look, Kuno spoke with conviction. "I'm here to send a message to the Senshi. Who do I speak with to make such an arrangement?"

Eyes growing wide at the strange request, the receptionist slid a hand under the counter. "The Senshi? You're kidding, right?"

"I am a Kuno. I never kid." He replied sarcastically.

"Well, uh..." The man slowly moved his hidden hand to the alarm button in case the visitor got violent. "Let's see, you could talk to news crew. They can be contacted by calling..."

Kuno got impatient and shouted at the impudent peasant. "I need to speak with them now! This cannot wait, for lives are in peril. Each moment you delay me only extends their suffering!"

He pressed the silent alarm, repeatedly. "Sir, do not speak to me in that tone of voice. He slid a business card over to Kuno in an effort to calm him down. "Call the number on the card and they'll see if your story is newsworthy. Then follow their instructions if they feel they wish to pursue the matter."

Kuno looked at the clock on the wall, finding that the morning news was in progress, he smiled at the man behind the counter who was now joined by two uniformed security officers. "I see." Kuno picked up the card. It had a name and office number in the building. "So, are you in league with that foul sorcerer as well?

"Huh?" Came from the three men. In moments, all three were in no condition to speak as Kuno struck each one with a stun blow with his bokken.

Giving a slight bow to the fallen men, Kuno ran past the counter into a hall leading to the sound stages. "Forgive me, but this is for the greater good."

* * *

Several blocks away, behind a tiny grocery store, sat several defeated Phoenix Mountain warriors and a chibi-Hinako. Masara was applying antiseptic to his commander's wings while she grimaced in pain. 

"When I get my hands on that girl, she'll wish she'd never been born." Kiima gritted her teeth as another q-tip doused in iodine was rubbed on another wound. "Oh, a quick death is too good for her." She looked at her leotard, noting the rips and tears along the sides. "We're going to have to watch both the Chinese Amazons and these new people."

"Well," Hinako chimed in, "these people aren't new. They're delinquents."

Kiima closed her eyes as another bandage was applied. "I figured that they were the moment they resisted. Who are they?"

"The one with the spatula is Ukyou Kuonji, she's my student at Furinken High School and she's a BAAADDDD KIIIIDDD! The other is her waitress Konatsu. She's a bad kid too, because she doesn't go to school like she's supposed to."

Glancing at her growing collection of Hello Kitty band-aids on her wings, she went red with fury at the thought of the woman who put her in this condition. "Konatsu? Is that the bitch who did this to me?"

"Yep. She's really bad. She likes to beat up Ranma. I heard she beat up Happosai and Genma too."

Kiima committed the name to her mental list of people whose lives she was going to make a living hell. "Konatsu."

Koruma studied a piece of paper he obtained from the restaurant and smiled as he became convinced that his superior would be pleased instead of beating the stuffing out of him. "I've got it!"

Glaring at her underling that had a perfect track record of screwing up, she was not in the mood for any more Yu-Gi-Oh remarks. "What, pray tell, have you got?"

"The map to Jusendo!" Koruma held out the sheet of white paper out in reach of Kiima.

"Let me see it." She took the paper with cautious optimism, examining the document for only a few seconds before her facial expression changed from stinging pain to joyous glee. "This is it!" She pointed to the outline of the cursed springs, then traced the underground river to the base of Jusendo falls. There was writing in Chinese marking the entrance of the cavern in the center of the mountain. "Finally! Let's leave this cursed country and get back home."

"Are you up to it?" Masara cut off some excess gauze from a bandage he made near Kiima's left wing tip.

Struggling to her feet, the Captain stood up and flapped her wings. The pain was still present, but bearable. "I am now. Our Lord doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Hinako whimpered. "Are you leaving me?"

Forming plans within plans, Kiima faced her two soldiers. "Get the transport net and carry her with us. She's proven herself in battle." Quietly adding, "far better than you two."

Jumping up and down in childlike glee, "I'm going to fly again! Yay!"

Sharing her enthusiasm, Kiima studied the map, memorizing the contents within. "Yes, we're going to fly again. And this time..." Stuffing the map into the remains of her bra, "we're going home with good news."

* * *

Ranma looked up from the doodle he was making on his schoolwork as he felt a wave of foreboding. He shot looks at Usagi, Minako and Akane who all sharing his concern. Something was going on nearby and they all were not going to like it. 

Moments later, Ranma's senshi communicator vibrated, alerting him to an incoming message. He reached into his pocket to press the button to acknowledge his presence, and alert that he can't reply immediately. Usagi coughed to get the teacher's attention. "Teacher, I have to go to the restroom."

Minako nodded in agreement. "Me too!"

Akane raised her hand. "I've got to go too!"

Ranma joined the club. "Well..."

The teacher looked at the four in mild amusement. "Again? What? Do you all share the same metabolism?"

Ranma, without thinking, blurted out, "Well, I do eat Akane's cooking from time to... Oof!"

Akane smashed him down with a mallet. "My cooking's not that bad!"

Re-inflating instantly, Ranma stared down his wife. "Will you quit it, you macho chick!"

"Why you!" She took another swing with mallet-sama and Ranma dodged. He turned tail and jumped out the window with Akane in hot pursuit.

Minako and Usagi took the opportunity to make a quiet exit.

Frozen in place, the teacher stood like a statue for a few moments and asked the class. "Does anyone else need to use the restroom?"

Everyone shook their heads in response.

"Very good." He reached into a tiny box on the teacher's desk to pull out the pre-printed detention slips with the quartet's names on them. As was the case, he went to the four empty desks and left the invitations to the after-school study sessions that he knew these four had earned once again.

* * *

"Wake up miss!" Plum gently tapped Konatsu's face, trying to wake up the kunoichi. "Oh..." 

Ukyou regained consciousness and sat up. "Where am I?" She saw her friend on the floor and rushed to his side. "Oh no." A coppery smell came from under his hand on his stomach. She moved his hand aside, finding a blood stain on his ninja costume. Examining the source of the blood by deftly lifting the fabric, she found that the wound wasn't nearly as bad as it initially seemed since it was a shallow cut.

A strange feeling came over Ukyou as she instinctively pressed her hands on the injury. A yellow glow surrounded the wound and her own hands and in moments, the damage to Konatsu's skin vanished without a trace.

Ukyou blinked and held her blood stained hands to her face. "How did I?"

Cologne burst into the Ucchan's and assessed the situation. Seething in self damnation, she hoped for the best but made mental plans for the worst. "Plum!"

Plum shrank at hearing Cologne's voice, replying nonetheless. "I'm here."

Instantly, the Amazon elder was beside the little girl. "I've been worried sick! Why did you run off?"

The smell of blood distracted the elder and focused her attention to the other two people in the room. "What happened here? Tell me everything."

Ukyou, still in a daze at her new found powers, lowered her hands. "I was hoping you'd tell me, sugar. First, she shows up, then we get attacked by the black bird squadron, then these things that were not really happy to see us trashed my place." She wiped her hands on a paper towel. "And finally, my own teacher decides to suck Ko-chan and I dry. What gives?"

"Your teacher?" Asked Cologne incredulously.

"Yeah, Miss Hinako was working with them. There was a tall white haired girl and two others that I saw. There could have been more." Ukyou leaned over to check if Konatsu had other injuries that needed mending.

Grasping her stick in worry, Cologne thought about what artifacts that the Phoenix Mountain people had in their possession. She was afraid that they had brought the eggs of enslavement and it appeared that they had. "She was helping them willingly?"

Konatsu coughed and lifted himself a bit on his elbow. "Sure seemed that way." He turned to Ukyou. "I see now why you fear her."

"So, you defeated them? Good." She gently grasped Plum's tiny hand. "Come child, let's get you back to the Cafe where you'll be safe." Turning back to the okonomiyaki chef, she made a respectful bow. "Thank you for your help."

Ukyou rolled her eyes. "Anytime sugar." She reflected on the condition of her home and dreaded what it was going to do to her bank account. "Hey! Who's going to clean up this mess!" She turned to the clock. "Darn, I'm late for school! Miss Hinako's going to..." She tapered off her voice. "Oh, she's not going to be at school today, is she?"

Examining Plum for injuries, the elder noticed the absence of something. "Plum, where's the map?"

"They took it." She groveled in despair. "I've failed."

Cologne sighed. "That's all right, my child. There's nothing left for us here. Let me take you home, to China."

"Why?" Plum cried. "There's nothing left for me there either! Daddy's gone!"

Instantly, the Amazon elder pieced everything together. Three hundred years of Amazon training was good for something. "We don't know that."

"But... You said..."

Cologne reassured the child. "We don't know for sure. Until then, there's still hope."

"I hope you're sending Mousse and Shampoo here with brooms." Ukyou stood firm, arms crossed and really really pissed. She had a look that meant business.

Snickering, the elder cradled the larger child in her arms. "You'd make a fine Amazon Miss Kuonji. I'll send them over to help out in the clean up." She bowed again, with even more respect than before. "Thank you Sailor..." She left the question dangling.

"Sailor?" Ukyou raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

Cologne did another ki reading on Ukyou to confirm her theory. The ki was changing before her eyes from one form to another. It had traces of both Ranma and Akane's ki; Unsettling to say the least. "I'll be taking my leave. Expect Mousse within an hour." She bounced out of the room and out of sight.

Konatsu raised his eyebrow in surprise as well. "Sailor? Is there something you haven't told me?"

Looking at her hands again, Ukyou formed a gentle smile and made a single laugh. "Sailor. Yeah, right." She groaned, grabbed a broom and began to sweep up the feathers. "As if that'll ever happen."

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from sending your email address out to the spammers. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 25th, 2007

* * *


	10. The Rules of Engagement

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 10: The Rules of Engagement

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or read me a bedtime story written by H. P. Lovecraft.

* * *

Sasuke gave the thumbs up to his master as he switched the feed to come from the sealed newsroom instead of the pre-recorded episode that was being broadcast. Sasuke stood guard by the door as Tatewaki combed his hair one final time before he was about to go on the air. The red light on the video camera went on, signaling that he was being telecast into televisions all across Tokyo. "Greetings, fellow citizens of the great nation of Japan. I'm here on a matter of great importance." He adjusted his robe in an act of deliberate pause for effect. "It appears that the Beautiful Sailor Suited Defenders of Love and Justice are under the spell of a sorcerer most foul." 

Sasuke held back the doors, as the security team outside pounded on it to gain entrance. "Oh, master, you've really done it this time." He looked up at the ceiling and plotted several viable methods of escape through the air ducts. He knew he would have to put the plan in motion in only a few minutes if he valued his master's freedom. How he was going to keep Tatewaki out of jail in the coming weeks was a plan the little ninja hadn't come up with yet.

* * *

Awakened from his catnap by the incessant beep from his moon computer console, Artemis yawned, extended his claws and displayed to the indifference of his computer, his entire natural arsenal of feline weapons. If Ranma had seen the wide open mouthful of fangs, he would have run in sheer stark raving terror to America. 

The white cat licked his lips and batted his paw on the answer button. The screen lit up with an image of Tatewaki Kuno making some sort of speech behind a news reader's desk. Narrowing his slitted pupils, the moon cat wondered why the lunar computer was bringing this particular transmission to his attention. He pressed his paw on the speaker control and slid it upward to increase the volume.

"... the Senshi. I will not permit any other terms!" The kendoist leaned forward into the camera with a look of a crazed power mad dictator, addressing his minions. "Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

Senshi? Artemis' curiosity was getting the better of him. Turning to the headset hanging from a peg on the wall, he reached over, grabbed it and put it on. Adjusting it for fit by wiggling it a little over his triangular ears, he spoke into the mike that was positioned in front of his mouth by a thin firm wire. "Computer, what is..." He froze as the transmission continued and the nightmare in front of him spoke some more rubbish for his television audience.

Kuno pressed a button on the news reader's console he was sitting behind, changing the image to a picture of Sailor Moon being pinned to a wall by flowers being thrown by Tuxedo Mask. The white cat gagged at the sight before him, nearly coughing up a hair ball. The voice of Kuno provided some colorful, well orated commentary. "As you can see, this was how the fair Sailor Moon was betrothed to her beloved Tuxedo Mask. Only men of noble blood, can tame the wild fillies of the field."

Shivering in terror, the cat pressed several keys on the computer console, issuing commands to trace the signal to its source. "Computer, play this transmission from the beginning!" The screen went blank for a moment, then the captured video stream began to play from the start. The pet of Sailor Venus only had to watch the transmission for a minute before he gave the all call signal to the Inner Senshi. "I can't believe the stuff they put on TV these days. It's worse than 'Who wants to Marry a Millionaire?'."

* * *

Hopping around on her cane like a kangaroo in desperate need to locate a restroom, Cologne made quick time back to the Cat Cafe with Plum firmly held in her arm. Mousse was carrying an overflowing trash can when the white haired miniature hurricane blew past him, bumping into the container and showering him with old napkins and used chopsticks. The hidden weapons master spun around like a top until he stopped in a daze. Barely able to stand, he held onto the trash can for support and muttered to himself. "What now, you shriveled ol' monkey?" 

A ramen bowl flew from nowhere, sending Mousse into a wall for another unscheduled nap. "I heard that!"

The old woman entered her bedroom and unrolled her bedroll with her foot. She gently placed the girl on the comforter of the floor and sat next to her. The elder sighed with matronly concern. "Plum, why did you leave last night? That was very foolish of you. You could have been kidnapped, or worse."

The tiny Amazon in training meekly replied as she looked downcast at the floor. "I'm sorry, Great Grandmother. I..." She held back another crying fit to show that she was strong and worthy of being a Amazon, like her mother. She felt the emotions overtake her and she forced the tears back down into her heart.

She failed. "Wahhhh!" Plum laid face down on the bedroll and buried her head into a pillow near her, muffling whimpers that lasted for a few minutes as Cologne watched over her charge.

"Nihao, Great-Grandmother!" Shampoo entered the doorway, holding an empty ramen delivery box from her last bike trip. "Oh, Plum! Plum back!" Tossing the box aside, she whizzed over to the bedside of the little girl and patted her back for comfort. She hugged the little girl in an Amazon glomp meant for other female Amazons. "Shampoo worry about Plum."

Mousse sat up from his resting place, rubbing his temple where Cologne's ramen bowl had struck him. "I thought I heard my darling Shampoo." He turned around, smiling at the thought of being in the vicinity of his love only to be smashed back into the wall by an empty flying ramen box. He slid to the floor for a painful nap, again.

"Great Granddaughter, you must pack. The three of us are going back to our home in China." Cologne reached into her closet and pulled out a backpack.

"Ranma coming too?" Shampoo asked hopefully, then sighed. "Is okay for Violent girl come too."

"I'm afraid that it'll just be you, I and Plum. The Phoenix Mountain people took the bait and now we need to be at the village when they figure out what happened." The elder tossed some scrolls into a side pocket of her pack and tied the leather cord to seal the flap covering the pocket. "They'll come out in force and it'll take the entire village to repel them."

Shampoo sighed again. "Father only here one day. Now Shampoo go. No fair." She trudged out of the room to get her pack, not really being excited about a trip back to the place of her birth. On other days, the young Amazon would have been bouncing off the ceiling at the news of visiting her friends and family back home, but all of the recent events had taken a toll on her emotional state.

"Great Grandmother." Plum meekly asked from her place on the floor. "I'll take whatever punishment you give me for failing you."

Holding the real map of Jusendo, sealed in a cardboard tube, the elder smiled. "You've been punished enough. Let's get you home, where you belong."

Upstairs, Shampoo was busy shoving her clothes into her own pack. "No fair. Nothing fair." She reached onto her dresser drawer to pick up a group photo of all the people she knew in Nerima. The photo was taken at a beach with almost everyone standing in a large crowd facing the camera. Her eyes focused on Ranma, standing next to Akane, with Shampoo standing over two meters away from her love. She sadly moped at the idea that this was as close as she'll ever be to only man she felt she could love. A man who was her better in the art. A man who would have been the perfect husband for her and her people. A teardrop splashed on the glass protecting the photo. "No fair."

She put the photo back on top of her dresser. Finding some loose pictures of Ranma in both forms, she lovingly gazed at them for a moment, then slid the set of images into her bra. The photos were the closest she felt she was going to get to the man she gave her soul to. "Ranma always close to Shampoo heart." She squirreled away a few more clothing items into her pack, sealed it, tossed the heavy load on her back and went downstairs.

She was greeted at the bottom of the stairs by her father, who beamed with pride over his child. "Leaving so soon, my daughter?"

"Yes, father. Shampoo go to village." She felt joy being in the presence of her parent. No matter what had happened to her, her father was a pillar of stability that she had depended on all her life. "Shampoo will miss." She held her father tight, keeping her strength down so she wouldn't break his ribs with her grip.

"I will miss you too. Come back soon." He gently patted his daughter's back, then embraced her firmly, not wanting to let the moment end.

The matriarch adjusted the straps of a tiny satchel that was on Plum's back. "Come Great Granddaughter, we must hurry if we wish to get to the village by morning."

"Morning? How we travel?" Shampoo questioned with a slight feeling of trepidation. They usually travelled by boat, or in the case of Shampoo, FedEx in feline form. "Shampoo no like cat carrier. Too too cold!"

"We're taking a different route to China today. You can stay in human form for the trip this time." Cologne had a gleam in her eye, one usually reserved for certified lunatics.

Mousse lifted himself off the ground, awakened by the sound of Shampoo's voice. He took a few steps to get closer to the source of that melodic tone that could only come from one beautiful person.

Cologne tilted her body at an odd angle to look around Shampoo because the hidden weapons master was behind the purple haired girl. "Mousse!"

Shampoo, spun around to see why Cologne was shouting, not noticing that Mousse was standing behind her. Her backpack struck him square in the jaw and sent him flying into an empty booth. Attracted by the loud landing, Shampoo held her hands to her hips in disgust. "Get up Mousse. No time for sleeping on job!"

"She's right Mr. Part Time." Taking a convenient glass of cold water, the elder splashed duck boy to wake him up.

"Quack!"

"Good, I need you to go over to Ucchan's and help them clean up. After you're done there, you'll be on delivery duty here until further notice." She gave a cold hard stare into the eyes of the fowl creature. "You will **NOT** follow us. This is official business." Without waiting for a response, Cologne led the other two women out the door and away from sight.

Mousse the duck whimpered. "Quack."

* * *

Akane, in her Juuban High School uniform, mallet in hand, stalked the edge of a large park several kilometers from Juuban High School, looking for her idiot husband. "Ranma! When I find you I'll... Grrr..." The wrath of Akane was a terrible thing to have directed at someone and Ranma was avoiding it with all of his skill. 

Hiding in the branches of a very tall tree, using his stealth techniques to keep Akane from sensing his presence and braining him for insulting her cooking again, Ranma watched his wife growl in every direction before running off toward a random destination. She left a trail of smoking embers and sizzling grass in her wake. Once she was out of sight, he let out a sigh of relief, glad to have avoided another trip into the sky courtesy of Akane Airlines.

His communicator beeped again. He reached into his pocket, pulled out the calculator looking object and found that the display had a text message with a phone number. Recognizing that it was the number of the Tendo household, he jumped out of the tree and went to the nearest phone booth to return the call.

Humming to herself as she folded up the Sailor Sun costume, Kasumi waited patiently by the phone. In a moment, it rang and the tall girl answered. "Tendo residence."

"Kasumi?" Asked Ranma, "did you page me?"

Fingering the little Senshi communicator that Akane had given her a while back, Kasumi nodded. "Yes, I need to remind you that you've got to meet Nabiki downtown today at 4:30." She carefully placed the costume into a plastic bag. "You need to stop by to get your uniform. I just finished it for you."

"Ah, you didn't have to do that..." Ranma felt guilty. "Look, I know you wanna help, but I ain't doing that. There's no way I'm pretending to be myself for whatever hair brained scheme your sister's cookin' up." He pressed his forehead on the side of the pay phone. "There's just too many things that could go wrong."

Slightly dejected, Kasumi tried another approach. "Then Ranma-kun, don't pretend. Go in your Sailor Sun form instead. It really means a lot to her."

"Oh, like that's a better idea! Why don't I invite the whole gang and we can throw a party while we're at it?"

Kasumi glowed with a happy smile. "That's an excellent idea. Would you like me to make some appetizers?"

Ranma nearly dropped the receiver. "No... No... Uh... Forget I said that. Forget I said anything. Oh, man." He gently pounded his forehead on the phone, trying to stimulate any brain cell to create an idea to get out of this mess. "Let me think about this."

Reading the time on the kitchen clock, Kasumi got a little worried. "Ranma, I think you need to come here right now to get your costume." She saw that the two fathers were playing their usual Shogi game near the back of the house, so the dojo was unoccupied. "You can teleport inside the dojo. I'll be waiting there." She intentionally hung up the phone just as Ranma began his protest. "And I need to show you exactly how much this means to her."

* * *

Outside of Juuban High School, four girls gathered in a small circle. Usagi held her communicator watch to her face and answered the call. "Moon here, what's the emergency?" 

Artemis' voice came on, but the camera showed the interior of Minako's room instead of a furry face. "Is Ranma there?"

Usagi looked at the other girls. "No, just Mina-chan, Mako-chan and Ami-chan. Akane and Ranma ran off somewhere. Did they call in?"

Another voice came on the line. "Io here." Akane's face appeared for a moment. "Go ahead."

Rei's voice followed. "Mars here."

They waited quietly for a moment for Sun's answer. When it didn't come, the white cat popped his head into view on the tiny display. "Okay, well, it may be best that Sun isn't in on this conversation. We need the Moon Princess to make an appearance to counter this idiot's speech."

Ami opened her Sailor watch and joined in the conference call. "Speech? What speech?"

"Let me show you. It's not pretty." In moments, all six girls watched in horror on their respective communicators as the video was played back. Looks of concern, giggling, and shock appeared on each of their faces as the scene unfolded on the little screens.

The moment the image of Sailor Moon being conquered by Tuxedo Mask was visible, Minako swooned. "Oh, if I had a man who'd sweep me off my feet like that."

Usagi didn't share in Minako's warped fantasy. An aura of red encircled the leader of the Senshi as she shook in anger. "Why... That... Jerk... I'll..." She pressed the talk button. "Where did this come from?"

"It was transmitted about an hour ago from Galaxy TV." The cat's eyes grew wide as he saw what Usagi was grabbing on the front of her school uniform. "W-w-wait!"

Holding her broach in one hand and raising her other hand to the sky, she invoked her transformation. "Moon Cosmic Power, Make Up!" A light show later, a furious Sailor Moon held her scepter in her hand and her temper barely in check.

"Sailor Moon! Don't go running off yet!" A panicked cat shouted into the mike. "He's not there anymore."

Speaking in a guttural tone, contemplating just how dead this Kuno guy was, she growled. "Where... Is... He then?"

"I don't know, but I've found out the source of the information he was talking about."

Ami, being a lot more level headed, but also keeping back the urge to rip off Tatewaki's head and throw it into a pool of piranha, pressed the talk button. "Where did these laws he was quoting, come from?"

"It was a book just published by the Sailor Moon Fan Club. The eBook was released this morning and they're taking pre-orders for the paperback. It's something called 'The Rules of Engagement'." Artemis pulled the electronic book up on his screen. "It's a lot worse than that Sailor Venus' diary they published last month."

Minako whined. "But I liked that book."

Makoto giggled, "Yeah, because it was nothing like your real love life."

"Was too!"

"In your dreams!" Makoto laughed.

"Stop it!" Taking a deadly serious tone, Sailor Moon cast a frigid look at her team mates. "Girls, transform. We're going to visit this Fan Club and set the record straight."

Ami produced her henshin stick from thin air. "And what about Kuno?"

Twirling her scepter with thoughts only meant for the dark minds of demons, she replied, "He's a dead man. No one talks about my Mamo-chan that way."

Akane's voice came over the communicator. "I know where this place is. I'll meet you there."

As the other three girls shouted their phrases, turning into the Sailor Suited warriors of the inner planets, Sailor Moon gave a look that promised that someone was going to be seriously punished. "Io, give me the address." She smiled sweetly. "Pretty please."

* * *

"It's 4:30, and he's not here yet." Mumbled Nabiki, leaning against the wall near the tall building housing the Sailor Moon Fan Club. She wore a frown of sadness as she pondered the situation she had put herself in. She was wearing a smart dark brown business suit with a matching above the knee skirt, light pantyhose, high heel pumps and her hair and nails were professionally done at a salon, making her look older than she really was. She looked at her watch hoping for time to slow down, giving her a moment to figure out where her brother-in-law could be. 

She tapped her foot impatiently as the minutes slowly edged by. Minute by minute, she lost her cool confidence as her main plan faded away with each tick of the clock. Looking at a paper sack she had laying on the sidewalk next to her, containing a Sailor Mercury uniform and wig, she knew she couldn't pull off her fall back plan. There was no way in the world she could fool anyone into thinking that she was the Senshi of Ice, not even the great Ice Queen, Nabiki Tendo.

The bank across the street had a digital clock showing the time had moved to 4:50. Strengthening her resolve to carry out her mission, the middle Tendo took stock at what she did have in her formidable arsenal of paperwork. She opened her leather legal type briefcase, leafing through the registered trademarks of Sailors Sun, Io, Callisto, Rhea, Titan, etc. She found the paperwork that claimed that she was the agent for Sailor Moon and authorized to act on her behalf. Nabiki wanted to rip up the paper to shreds, since without the Senshi's signature, it was only worth the paper it was printed on.

"Damn you, Ranma." Nabiki cursed, more to herself than to her favorite victim. She slumped as the truth of her plight took hold and threatened to shatter her own Soul of Ice. "Damn me, for being so stupid." She looked down at the empty signature line, debating on whether she could sign on the Moon Princess's behalf. A moment of intense temptation burned in her heart, only to be cooled off by the harsh reality of being able to prove that the autograph on the contract was genuine. It wouldn't be right to forge the signature. One of the brown haired girl's tenets was honesty in all dealings. If she had tainted her reputation with forgery, she'd never recover.

"I'm sorry." She said to no one in particular. All around her was the hustling and bustling of a normal Tokyo day. Thousands of people slowly walked by, some being polite to the faceless masses, while others were a little rude. The sounds of taxis, cars, trucks, bicycles and scooters filled the air and did nothing to fill the emptiness in Nabiki's heart.

The Tendo watched the clock on the bank quickly reach 4:52. She reflected on the mistakes she had made in her life. The time she pretended to love Ranma when she was his official fiancee, just to anger both her sister and her brother-in-law and get those two idiots to finally admit their feelings for each other. She reflected upon the time she took revenge on Ranma for boiling her concert ticket that she had spent so much money on, granted, she was due a little payback for Ranma's carelessness, but she did take it a bit too far.

She did it for love, Nabiki knew. She loved her family and the loss of her mother made her grow up far too soon. She watched her elder sister become a surrogate mother and her younger sister lose herself into martial arts. She witnessed the slow death of her father, as he spent countless hours, praying at the family shrine, weeping into the night and losing himself in his own self pity. Without a will to live anymore, her father sank into a despair and closed down the Anything Goes school, not caring what was to become of the ancestral Tendo home or the well being of the three sisters.

At first, Nabiki sold things to help make ends meet. Watermelons, cherries, nuts and anything else she could find in her mother's fruit and vegetable garden. People were willing to pay higher than normal prices to a cute seven year old girl with a practiced adorable smile. She moved up to a little tea stand in the spring, lemonade and ice cream in the summer and scarves in the winter, each time learning more and more on using her feminine charms to exact sales and a little extra yen for herself.

The household books were the hard part at first. Her mother had taken care of all the finances and seeing her handwriting in the simple family ledger gave Nabiki a warm memory of seeing her mother hard at work, writing entries for the days receipts from the dojo. Smiling at the thoughts of her mother, and how all these years Nabiki was able to keep enough money coming in to keep the remainder of her family together, made the struggle worth it.

"Ahem."

Blinking out of her trance, the brown haired girl rapidly twisted her neck side to side, looking for the source of the cough. She glanced at the time again, finding it had moved to 4:59. "I'm late!" She ran toward the entrance of the tall building, swung the glass door open and darted in, sidestepping away from some of the people who were leaving their offices early.

A security guard stepped in Nabiki's way, holding his hands outward to slow her down. "Miss."

The Tendo halted her dash an instant before she was to barrel into the burly man. "I'm late for my appointment!" She looked at the inviting open doorway of an elevator ahead. "I barely have time to make it!"

"Wait a second." He led her aside to the metal detector. "Gotta screen you first." He waved the wand around her body. "Where ya goin' in such a hurry?"

Nonplussed at the delay, she snarled back. "The Sailor Moon Fan Club, I've got business with them."

"Wait." He held out his hand, gesturing to the girl to stay still. "Tetsuo, get me the list."

Another guard, recognizing the request, pulled out a clipboard with several sheets of paper on it. He scanned the first page, "You wouldn't be Nabiki Tendo?"

"Who wants to know?" Huffed the now officially late girl who was growing angrier with each second she was held back from her important meeting.

"I'm sorry miss, but you're not permitted in the building." He pointed at the door. "Have a nice day."

"W-W-WHAT!" Shouted Nabiki, loud enough to vibrate the windows and cause passerby to cover their ears. "There must be a mistake. I've got an appointment on the twelfth floor at five o'clock."

"Sorry, miss, but this request came from the Sailor Moon Fan Club. I'm afraid you'll have to take it up with them." The two guards stood in front of the girl, blocking her way in. One whispered to the other, "What's with that place today, first the cos-player, now her?"

Fumbling around in her purse, she pulled out her cell phone and dropped it on the floor. She bent over to pick it up when she saw a pair of red boots that looked a little familiar. Nabiki gulped, grasped her phone and lifted up her head to see the owner of the boots. Gazing up the red skirt of the Senshi of the Sun, Nabiki blushed and turned away.

"Back off. I'm already spoken for." Sailor Sun muttered with disgust, then she lowered her voice. "And she calls me a pervert..."

Nabiki stood up instantly and shivered in nervousness. The girl before her wasn't her brother-in-law in disguise, but the real thing. She was in deep trouble now. "S-Sailor Sun?" She sheepishly smiled, trembling at how deep in trouble she could potentially be in, "Did uh... Ranma send you?" Beads of sweat appeared on the brown haired Tendo's brow, the girl summoned her courage to stop the flow of water and brought out her ice queen persona.

"Yeah, he did." Turning to a clock on the wall, she read the time. "Aren't we a little late for your meeting?"

"Right." With newfound resolve, she faced the guards, summoning a very no-nonsense air about her, she spoke with the authority of an official agent of the Sailor Senshi. "I'm here on official Sailor Senshi business. Let me pass."

The two men snickered at each other, "Yeah right, like that's going to work."

Nabiki held an open hand in the direction of the redhead. "This is Sailor Sun."

The lead guard laughed out loud. "Yeah, and I'm Santa Claus!"

The other guard tapped his companion on the shoulder. "Hey, what did that other girl call herself?"

"Does it matter? BWA HA HA!" The two were having a good laugh at the pair of girl's expense.

Sailor Sun lost her patience. "Nabiki, what floor are we going to?"

"Uh... The twelfth, why? Uh, oh..." Nabiki realized what was to happen next, as the short girl held her midsection tight.

"Buckle up. Sun Beam Transport!" The two girls vanished in a flash of light.

The lobby went silent. You could hear a pin drop as the dozens of people walking by froze in their positions at the magic transport that had occurred amongst them. The two formerly laughing guards gave a collective gulp as one turned to the other, "Uh... She's the real deal."

"What about the other one?"

"Yeah, uh... She left, kinda pissed off."

"Do you think the other one's coming back?"

They both looked at the time on the wall, "Quitting time's at six." They nervously awaited for six o'clock to arrive. Even though it was to come to pass in fifty minutes, it felt like fifty years.

* * *

A flash of bright light filled the hallway in front of the door to the Sailor Moon Fan Club. When it instantly dissipated, there stood a smirking Sailor Sun holding a woozy Nabiki by the stomach, keeping her from falling to the ground in a boneless mess. 

The taller girl groaned as she held the contents of her stomach down. "Oh, I hate that."

"Yeah, yeah." Sun relaxed her grip as Nabiki regained her strength. Taking a step back to allow Nabiki to stand on her own, the Senshi of the Sun pointed to the placard on the door. "I guess this must be the place."

"Give me a minute, will you?" The room twisted and turned and little pretty stars floated around Nabiki's head. "I wish I had an aspirin."

"Sorry. I ain't got any." Sun shrugged. "They didn't give me any pockets in this thing."

"Huh? Oh, your uniform. Yeah." She rubbed her temples to quell the dizziness she felt, but the stars were in many nice colors and didn't want to stop orbiting her head. "Where did you get that outfit anyways?"

Groaning to no one in particular, the red haired girl rolled her eyes in answering the common question. "Comes with the job. C'mon, let's get this over with."

Standing tall, taking a deep breath, and grasping the door handle, Nabiki turned the knob and entered with a spring in her step. She had a real live Senshi with her and nothing was going to stand in her way.

Well, almost anything...

"What do you mean you've never heard of me?" Came a loud voice from a meeting room near the center of the office. "I'm..."

Sailor Sun froze, placed her gloved hand over her eyes and wished she could just teleport to the moon instead of face the person who was doing the yelling. "Sailor Io..."

Hiro sat across from Sailor Io who was fit to be tied. The yellow skirted Senshi was gripping the edge of the table, leaving finger indentations in the hardwood surface. The man was sitting with his hands clasped together, with a look of boredom about him. "Now, Miss... What did you say your name was again?"

Gritting her teeth in anger, the short haired Senshi of a moon of Jupiter spat out her answer at the man who had refused to believe he was sitting with a real Senshi. "Sailor Io."

"Now, Miss Io. I get a lot of people coming in here auditioning for roles, but there's no Sailor Io."

Snapping off the end of the table, the Senshi stood, ready to strike. "Oh, yeah! Lava..." A gloved hand was stuffed into her mouth to stop her from casting her attack spell.

Sun held her wife tight, holding her arm down to prevent a ball of lava from being thrown and blasting the place to smithereens. "Just what in the world are **YOU** doing here?"

"Sun?" Io blinked in surprise. "What are **YOU** doing here?"

"I asked you first."

"Well, I... Uh..." Io tapped her fingers together nervously. "Hey! Why didn't you answer the call?"

"What call?" Sailor Sun pondered the question for a second, then tapped her forehead with an open palm. "Oops. I forgot."

"You forgot! How can you forget? You jumped out of the window once we got the call!"

"Well you were hunting me down, remember?"

"You deserved it you jerk! My cooking wasn't that bad!"

"If you weren't such a tomboy, maybe you'd be able to follow directions for once!"

"Why, you insensitive jerk!"

"Stay away from the kitchen and let mom do the cooking you uncute, macho chick!"

Nabiki stood there open mouthed. The argument sounded so familiar to her.

As the two Senshi bickered, Hiro stood up from the other side of the table, shaking his head in dismay. "Look you two, the next Anime convention is in downtown Tokyo in three weeks. Those costumes you've got are really the best I've seen and you've got a shot at winning a prize. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a business to run." He picked up a folder from the table and walked to the exit when he was stopped by Nabiki.

"Going somewhere?" Nabiki snarled at the middle aged man. "We had an appointment."

"We did?" Hiro looked shocked at the news. "I don't recall having any appointments for the rest of today."

"You don't recall a Nabiki Tendo?" If Nabiki could have raised a battle aura, the building would have been burnt to the ground. "You had me locked out."

"Tendo? Wait a minute!" Raising his voice and turning cold to the Tendo, he barked at his secretary. "Call security! I want this person escorted from the premises."

Sun and Io stopped calling each other names and turned on the man. Io raised a gloved fist. "You're not taking my sis... Uh, her anywhere."

Sun placed her hands down on the table, leaning forward to look Hiro in the eyes. "Hey, I was dragged here so she can have her meeting with you. So get it over with will ya!"

"And what are you two going to do? Dance and sing for me? I already told you, the convention is in a few weeks." Hiro tried to take a step toward the door, only to be blocked by Nabiki. "If you don't let me pass, I'll have you arrested instead of being escorted out."

Nabiki fumed. "I was coming here to propose a business deal, and this is how you treat a potential partner?"

Hiro was incredulous at the gall this brown haired girl possessed. She was actually trying to muscle into his company and hired two girls to pretend to be Senshi to give herself some credibility. "Partner? Ha! You're just some two bit con artist who's trying to muscle into my business. Now, get out and take those two idiotic bimbos with you."

There were very few things you could say to Ranma or Akane that would trigger a instant response. Hiro did just that by uttering the forbidden phrase. Both Senshis of fire glowed a bright red, burning the carpet where they stood. Sun's eyes turned black with flames for pupils. Io's hand formed a ball of magma. Both girls answered back together in one voice. "What did you call me?"

Raising an eyebrow at the lightshow he was witnessing, he still didn't believe their claim. "Heh, neat trick. Save it for the convention."

Io's ball of lava grew larger. "Why, I outta..."

"Oh, you've just booked a flight into orbit." Sun jumped across the table and pushed the man against the wall, knocking off some pictures on the other side. "I just need to figure out what planet I'll be defacing with your sorry carcass."

"SECURITY!" Shouted a frightened CEO of the Sailor Moon Fan Club. "Get this girl off of me!"

Without turning away, Sun called out to her wife. "Io, show this idiot who we really are." She turned her head back to look at the room for a suitable target. "The table, take it out."

Io smiled. "With pleasure." She threw her ball of red hot lava at the table, blowing a large hole in the center. The room filled with smoke from the smoldering debris. "Now, are you convinced?"

Wanting to wet himself, but still wanting to believe that this was a some sort of trick, the man stayed defiant. "Dynamite. Yeah, that's how you did it. You're not really a Sailor Senshi."

Sun gripped the man by the collar of his shirt tightly, almost cutting off his air supply. "Fine. You asked for it buddy." She closed her eyes to focus her spell. "Sun Beam Transport!" Hiro and Sun flashed out.

Io sighed. "I hope she doesn't forget that he can't breathe in space without Senshi magic." She noticed her sister standing at the door, coughing from all the smoke she inhaled. "Let's have a little chat while she's having some fun with that moron."

Nabiki nodded, then coughed some more.

* * *

One hundred kilometers above Japan, two people appeared and instantly started falling to Earth. Sun released her grip on her passenger, allowing her prey to fall on his own. 

"AAAHHHHH!!!" Screamed Hiro, not knowing that he really shouldn't be able to scream in the vacuum of space.

Sun held her arms behind her head and enjoyed the fall. "Hmmm... Never done this before. This is kinda fun."

"AAAHHHHH!!!" Hiro flayed about, trying to grab anything to stop his fall.

The redhead stretched her arms out and flapped them up and down. "Didn't think that'll work." She held her hands to her hips, flapping her elbows like she was a chicken. "Doesn't work either."

"AAAHHHHH!!!" Hiro ran out of breath and finally noticed that his clothes weren't billowing in the wind. In fact, there wasn't any wind, just a feeling of weightlessness. "Wha... Where am I?" He turned his head in every direction then focused on the big blue ball below him.

Sun was playing with the fingertips of her gloves. She answered nonchalantly. "Oh, you're falling to your doom."

"What is this? A hologram?" He patted himself looking for the wire harness the girl must have snuck on him to hold him in midair. "How are you doing this?"

"I ain't doin' nothin'. Just fallin' to Earth with you until we splat." She looked down. "I'd say you've got maybe eight minutes before you meet your ancestors. That's if you don't burn up on re-entry." She smiled evilly. "Let's see which one happens first."

The two fell for a minute. Neither one saying anything to the other. Finally, the first wisps of air buffeted the pair as they entered the atmosphere. Hiro lost his cool as he began to understand that this wasn't a trick and he really was falling to Earth at super sonic speed.

Sun glided around Hiro like an acrobat. "Saotome School of aerial maneuvers, I should add this to my training regimen." She did a flip in the air and twirled with her arms outstretched. "I really need to do this more often."

The air currents grew stronger as the pair raced through the upper atmosphere. Hiro felt his body temperature rise as the friction dragged him and attempted to rip his clothes off. "Okay, joke's over."

"Who's laughing?" Sun was doing the backstroke in an invisible pool.

"You've got far enough. Stop this simulation or illusion or whatever this ride is."

"Only if you apologize." Sun grinned as she was spinning around having the time of her life.

"For what? Trespassing into my office? Disturbing my work?" He glared at the Senshi. "For kidnapping me?"

"Kidnapping? What kidnapping? I already let you go."

"Release me from this..." Not really understanding what could simulate a massive free fall, Hiro waved his arms and legs about, trying to find any surface he could hold on to. "Let me go!"

"Sorry guy, I already did." Sun held her arms outward to slow down her descent to match Hiro's fall. "Oh, look down there. Aren't those nice clouds?"

"Huh?" He looked down at a giant white cloud that was rapidly approaching. In seconds, he was encased in a fine white mist that was rocketing past him at high velocity. A half a minute later, the mist disappeared and a breathtaking view of central Tokyo lay below him. It was a shame he wasn't enjoying the view as the fear of death overtook his feeble little mind.

"AAAAAHHHH!" He screamed again. There was no doubt in his mind now, he was falling rapidly to oblivion and he had only minute before he was a stain on the sidewalk. He looked around everywhere for his traveling companion and didn't find her anywhere.

"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm so gonna die." He prayed to his ancestors, the Kami and the flock of ducks that whizzed by. The street rose up to greet him and with only seconds to spare, a pair of arms gripped his shoulders and teleported him to safety.

Hiro fell to his knees and kissed the sandy ground. The two were standing on a beach on the shore of the Pacific Ocean near the northern part of the city of Tokyo. "Solid ground! Thank you, thank you." He chanted.

"Okay. Break's over." She gripped him again and grinned evilly. "Let's do that again! This time, I'm not saving you."

"NO!" He begged. "I'm convinced! You're a Sailor Senshi."

Holding him tight, she let him know who's boss. "I'm Sailor Sun, and don't you forget it. Sun Beam Transport!"

* * *

The door burst open of the Sailor Moon Fan club and five really pissed off Sailor Senshi poured in. They all had numerous long stem roses imbedded in their uniforms. "Who's responsible for this!" Moon threw to the floor several of the roses that she had caught on her trip across town. "Just what in the world is in that book?" 

Sailor Mars picked two roses that were stuck in her hair and incinerated them in her fiery grip. Venus and Jupiter pulled roses out of each other's uniforms.

Mercury ignored her flower sticking out of her front bow and the others sticking out of rear one. She was too entranced at the book she was reading on her Mercury computer. "To issue a challenge of marriage, you must throw a rose at the Sailor Senshi of your dreams. Who thought that this was a good idea?"

Noticing Sailor Io in another room, Sailor Moon gripped her scepter and charged toward her newest teammate. "Io-chan!"

Nabiki was in awe with the number of Senshi that had just arrived. Io had already warned her that others were coming, but it didn't diminish the stunned girl's shock at being in the presence of just about all of the Sailor Senshi. The middle Tendo approached the girl she knew to be Sailor Moon. "S-S-Sailor Moon, it's a honor to meet you." She bowed in respect to the white skirted lunar Senshi.

Glancing at Sailor Io to confirm that this girl shouldn't be the target of her wrath, she bowed back. "It's nice to meet you as well. I've heard a bit about you."

"You have?" Nabiki beamed with pride, then worried about just what exactly had the Senshi been told about her. "I hope I can be of service to you." She pulled out a sheet of paper. "Could I get your autograph on this?"

Forgetting that she wanted to beat someone up, Sailor Moon giggled at the request. "My autograph? Sure!" She took the paper and put it on the part of the table that wasn't destroyed. "Got a pen?"

Sailor Mercury jumped in. "Just what is this?" She skimmed the paper. "An agent's agreement?"

Smiling back, Nabiki gestured about the room with her hand. "Didn't Ranma tell you? I can prevent things like this from happening ever again."

Jupiter stood closer. "You mean, you could have prevented that idiot from going on TV? I'm tired of getting every nerdy guy in town chucking flowers at me where ever I go. None of them were cute." She huffed in disappointment.

Crossing her arms in smugness, the businesswoman emitted an air of confidence. "I guarantee it. I can make this whole thing go away in a day or two."

On the far side of the room, a blinding flash appeared for an instant. The terrified CEO of the Sailor Moon Fan Club was dropped unceremoniously to the carpet by a red-skirted Senshi. Sailor Sun wiped her gloved hands together to dust them off. "I think I've tenderized him enough for you. Who wants a crack at him next?"

Io clenched a fist. "I do."

"No." Sailor Jupiter held an arm out to stop Io. "I wanna crack at him. If you get him now, there won't be much left for me."

"Fate has smiled on me today, for I am in the midst of greatness."

All the girls became statues at the sound of the new voice coming from the entrance of the meeting room. Tatewaki Kuno strutted into the room and stopped in front of the yellow skirted Senshi. "For you, my fair lady, Sailor Io. Ahh, but these roses pale in comparison to your radiant beauty."

Outside of the meeting room, a crowd of employees gathered to watch the unfolding spectacle. The Senshi stood like they were made of stone except for Sailor Sun. She was snarling that Io was given the flowers. "Why's she getting them? She's my girl."

Io turned her eyes upward from the bouquet of deep red roses to look into the eyes of the man who seemed to be incapable of keeping a logical thought in his head. "Kuno, why are you giving me these?"

Extending his reach to give the Senshi of Io the dozen roses, he proclaimed. "I wish to woo you away from the foul Ranma Saotome. By the latest revision of the marriage laws, you can only be wed to a man of noble blood. I, for one, am such a man."

Sailor Sun burst out laughing.

Sailor Moon was fuming. "I can't believe you said those lies on TV!"

"Lies? I spoke only the truth my fair lady." He pulled out the book from his robes, turning the page to the one that had the image of Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask. "It says right here..."

Having heard enough, the furious leader of the Senshi swung her Moon Scepter over her shoulder and swung it like a softball bat, striking the kendoist in the chest, sending the book flying and Kuno toward a window. The glass shattered as the human missile went skyward. "How dare you say that my Tuxedo Mask wooed me that way!"

Breathing heavily, Sailor Moon blinked as she realized what she had done. She sank to her knees crying. "WAAAH! I just killed him! WAAAH!"

Sailor Sun shook her head. "Nah. If that idiot lands on his head, he'll be fine."

"Really?" Sailor Moon turned to Sun, tears still dripping from her eyes, and gaining a hopeful look. "I... I didn't kill him?"

Waving her hands in a gesture of unconcern, "I've smacked that moron higher and harder before. He'll be fine."

Sailor Mars growled. "Fine eh? I'll fix that." She burst into a run, aiming for the open window. Without hesitation, she leapt headfirst through the empty pane, and fell twelve stories down.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Sailor Jupiter followed suit, skirt billowing in the breeze for an instant before she too was lost from sight.

Sailor Io resisted the urge to follow the two Senshi in doling out punishment to the insane kendoist. She crossed her arms as she looked at each of her remaining teammates. "Well, at least he has the same effect on you as he does on me." She stuck a finger in her throat to mime throwing up.

Mercury picked up the book of the marriage laws, reading the passages within. "Where did this book come from? I thought it was only an eBook."

Venus peeked over Mercury's shoulder at the book. "What in the world is that?" She pointed at a picture of herself standing in a field, surrounded by unconscious men with a caption of 'Is there no one strong enough for me?' The Senshi of Love read the text next to the picture, growing angrier with each sentence. "Hey, wait a minute! It says that I wrote this book!"

Several personnel of the Sailor Moon fan club backed away from Sailor Venus when she made her remark. Many of them looked at their boss, wondering if he was going to be alive in the next few minutes.

Mercury shook her head in dismay. "This book is full of errors. The subject matter doesn't even exist." Turning to the assembled team of fan club employees, she gave them a icy glare. "Who really wrote this?"

Fingers pointed in every direction, with a majority going to Hiro. The owner pointed at Alex, the author of the original text of the book.

Closing the book gently, the Senshi of Ice watched the group thoughtfully. Contemplating her next move, she placed the book on a nearby desk, then tapped a few keys on her Mercury computer. "According to my text comparisons, this work is 50 lifted from a Chinese Amazon marriage book and the rest is pure fiction." She smiled at the orange skirted Senshi. "There's no doubt that you had nothing to do with this book."

Outside, Kuno flew up into the sky, trailing smoke and flame from his posterior. A moment later, he was falling back to Earth.

Still suffering the effects of nausea, brought on by his extended period of weightlessness, Hiro staggered to his feet, holding the edge of the meeting room table for support. He looked at each Senshi, seeing that every one of them was angry in some way. He contemplated his next career move in computer video games, since it was less stressful than being attacked by five furious magical girls.

Nabiki placed her briefcase on the table and sat down, avoiding the still smoking hole in the center. "I propose that all future publications go through a review committee to ensure that the contents remain wholesome and keep the Senshi in a good public light." She extracted a printed sheet of paper. "Sailor Moon, here is what I outline for the continuation of this endeavor and the maintaining of the enterprise for the next five fiscal years."

"Huh?" The twin ponytailed blond girl asked.

Mercury chimed in. "She means, she has a plan to keep things like this from happening again." She reached over to the business plan that Nabiki had laid out. "May I see this?"

"Of course." She slid it over.

Sailor Sun was about to speak, but was silenced by a pleading look from her wife. She looked away, not wanting to speak her mind about her thoughts on the seated Tendo.

"I see you've got funds allocated to college educations for us." Mercury nodded as she turned to the next page. "This is very thorough, I'm impressed. How are you going to keep control of the intellectual properties since they hadn't been properly copyrighted by us."

"Already done that." Nabiki opened the envelope with her trademarks. "Once I get an official signature from each of you, I can lock in the trademarks for each of your likenesses and shut down all unauthorized use of your reputations. Those that we do license, we keep under control to prevent other little problems like this."

Outside, Kuno flew skyward, lighting bolts arced after him. A moment later, his sparking body fell down again.

Mercury and Nabiki continued their conversation using very big words with lots of syllables that Venus, Moon, Io and Sun didn't want or care to understand. Hiro slumped into a chair, already admitting defeat. He dropped his head onto the table and groaned.

Sun placed a hand on his back playfully. "If you're bored, I can give you another guided tour." Her eyes brighten suddenly as more fun excursion ideas popped into her head. "Say! Have you ever snow-boarded Mount Everest?"

"No! No! Not again!" He kicked away from the table to get away from the psychotic red-head. His wheeled office chair rolled back until he slammed into the wall. "Stay away from me!"

Not really agreeing that letting Nabiki call the shots was a good idea, but agreeing that Hiro was a worse choice, Sun called out to her sister-in-law. "Nabiki, I think he's ready to sign your deal."

Outside, Kuno screamed in pain, as his body went skyward, trailing smoke and flame. Moments later, he fell back to Earth.

Running at a speed that Sailor Sun was impressed with, Nabiki darted across the meeting room and shoved a contract in front of Hiro and laid a pen down for his signature. "You can sign or imprint your hanko."

"It this the same deal you proposed?" Hiro reviewed the contract.

"10 to 1 stock transfer. You own 10 of the new business, and I control the other 90 on behalf of the Sailor Senshi."

"As if I have a choice."

Nabiki was triumphant. "Well, it's either own 10 of the new enterprise, in which I'm being more than generous in offering you even that, or own 0 when I shut you down."

He finished reviewing the paper and signed it. "You win."

"Pleasure doing business with you." Nabiki snatched the document and handed him a copy. She reveled in her moment of victory.

Sailor Mercury handed her contract to Nabiki with the Ice Senshi's signature on it. "I'll contact you tomorrow to coordinate the bank accounts."

Sailor Moon blinked. "What just happened here?"

Outside, Kuno did a somersault as he gained altitude. Electric bolts reflected off of the building across the street and pummeled the kendoist like a pachiko ball. Again, like before, he fell back down to Earth.

Sailor Io took the moon princess and the Senshi of love aside. "I think we're in control of our next book."

Venus' eyes gleamed. "Really? Can I write my own lines in the next Sailor V movie?" She bubbled on. "Maybe I can sing the theme song! Maybe I can write the theme song."

"Girls." Mercury started, then chuckled at Sun's unconscious flinch. "I think Nabiki can handle this now." She gave a nod to the Tendo. "Please see to it, that this little marriage book is removed from publication and a retraction is issued." She turned to the window, attracted by the noise from her two teammates on the street below.

Outside, Kuno's unconscious body flew skyward, trailing smoke, flame and glowing from electricity. He fell back down to Earth.

Mercury's Princess shook her head. "Don't you think that Mars and Jupiter should leave him alone now?"

Moon shook her head. "No."

Sun smiled. "No."

Venus growled. "No."

Io ran to the window. "I'm going to nail that pervert!" She jumped out and in mid-air using aerial techniques her husband taught her, took careful aim. "Lava blast!" A ball of flame erupted from the girl's palm and struck the upward moving Furinkan native in the chest, sending him back to the north end of Tokyo. The Senshi sent a ki blast downward to soften her landing and ran up to a waiting Jupiter and Mars.

Jupiter was miffed that the Kuno ball was no longer in play. "Hey! We were just getting warmed up!"

Mars felt great. "That was fun. But we gotta get out of here now."

* * *

Kodachi was feeding Mr. Green Turtle when a meteor flew from the sky and into a fountain on the Kuno estate. She bounded over to the point of impact and found her brother floating face up in the water. "Oh, brother dear, have you been spurned by your pig-tailed goddess again?" 

Spitting out some water, Tatewaki sat up in the half meter deep water, with a light spray landing on his head from the statue above him. "Ah, Sailor Io is indeed infatuated with me. She saved me from those two misguided girls."

"Now brother dear, you promised to help me with Ranma darling."

"Very well, my twisted sister." He stood up in the fountain. "Hmm... I appear to be missing something."

A whistling sound came from nowhere and a bokken flew in and struck Kuno on the back of the head, sending him flying across the grass.

Kodachi gave a shrill laugh. "I see that your beloved Senshi didn't forget to send you your training sword."

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from filling your bedroom with jello. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 26th, 2007

* * *


	11. Birds of a feather

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 11: Birds of a feather

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me write buggy software.

* * *

High in the skies above a mountainous region in the heart of China, three bird people flew in a 'V' formation eagerly returning home. "There it is." Masara gasped as he flapped his wings faster and harder then ever before. Flying across the ocean from Japan was bad enough, but doing it while carrying a bundle containing a twelve year old looking girl made it almost unbearable. 

Koruma panted as well, holding onto a rope that helped ease the burden that Masara bore. He was barely able to keep up the pace that Kiima had set for the trio. The warrior almost released his grip on the cord but was able to recover with a quick maneuver, sparing the little girl a horrid death and himself from agony at the hands of his Captain. He was barely able to speak due to the sheer exhaustion from flying non-stop for hours. "Almost there, huff, just a little longer..."

Kiima gracefully led them high over the craggy mountains until they were in sight of their ancestral home, Mt. Phoenix. She called out to her tiring minions, "We're almost home." She touched her satchel to make sure that the object of their quest was still contained within. Happy to find that the map hadn't been lost, she spoke in a relaxed tone. "Lord Saffron will be pleased with us. Soon, you can watch your TV show again."

"Hooray!" Shouted the pair in glee. Masara continued, "I wonder how Yugi's going to win the next card duel."

"Me too! Yugi has to win, he has to." Nodded Koruma in approval while trying to remember what channel and time the show comes on in China.

Miss Hinako poked her head out of the bag with a strained look on her face, "I gotta go potty!"

Koruma and Masara looked at each other for a moment, then at the mountain village below. Grinning, the pair in unison folded their wings to increase their speed and flew over the small buildings at high velocity. A few twists and turns later, they landed in front of a small hut and released their bundle, letting it fly through the curtained doorway and splash into the bathing area inside.

A miffed child like voice cried out from inside the hut. "It's cold!!!"

Koruma shrugged unconcerned. "It's not my problem."

Kiima landed a moment later, took a look around at the few passersby and ordered. "Koruma, alert the chamberlain that we've returned."

"Yes, Captain!" He saluted and flew off in the direction of the palace.

Kiima opened the curtain that covered the doorless entrance. "You, stand guard. Alert me if anyone from the palace arrives."

"Yes, Captain!" Masara saluted and waited until Kiima entered the bathhouse and was out of sight. He pulled down an eyelid and stuck out his tongue at his superior, then stood at attention, utterly bored and patiently waiting for an hour to pass. That was the time for the next exciting episode.

Kiima looked around the tiny hut trying to find her brainwashed minion. Windows, covered with translucent cloth curtains to let light in and prevent viewing from prying eyes, encircled the room giving plenty of illumination. In the center was a small pit lined with concrete that made a nice pool for bathing. Inside of the pool was a shivering and drenched little girl. She reached out a comforting hand and cooed. "There, there, let me help you."

Miss Hinako softly cried. "I still gotta go potty."

The Captain pointed to a curtained stall in the back of the room. "You can do it over there. After you're done, I'll get you a change of clothes."

"Okay." She crawled out of the water and sadly moved toward the stall with the toilet. She seemed like she was expecting something.

Groaning, Kiima added, "And I'll get you some candy."

Brightening, the little girl made a big smile and skipped into the tiny alcove, "Hooray!" She tossed off her dress which flew out of the stall and grabbed a towel to dry herself. "I'm gonna get some candy!"

Kiima sighed and held her head in her hand in dismay. "Why do I get the weird ones?" She counted to ten and found no relief. She counted to ten again to calm her nerves. She went to a small clothes closet next to the towel rack and extracted a small cheongsam for the micro-teacher and set it on a small changing table near the stall.

"Captain!" Came an excited shout from outside the hut.

"Now what?" Kiima replied, angrily storming to the entrance. She slid the curtain aside to see her two minions standing there. "Well?"

Koruma giddily bowed, barely able to hold back his excitement. "We've been summoned for an audience with Lord Saffron."

"We have?" Kiima held onto the entryway, looking faint. "An audience with our Lord?"

"The chamberlain told me himself. We're to present the map directly to our Lord at once."

"Very well." Kiima turned around. "Hinako, you must stay here until I come for you."

The teacher peeked out of the toilet stall wearing only a towel. "Okay, mistress. Don't forget my candy!" She got wide eyed. "Delinquents! How dare you look at me dressed like this?"

The three bird people blinked.

"Happo fifty yen satsu!" She held out a coin and started to drain Koruma and Masara for being mashers.

"Stop that!" Kiima commanded her newest minion.

"Okay," answered Hinako in a sultry voice and adult's body. She clenched her fist around her Japanese fifty yen coin with a defiant look. "Hmmph." She sneered and closed up the toilet stall curtain.

"Gwah..." Moaned Masara and Koruma as they leaned into each other to postpone their appointment with the floor.

"Come." Kiima instructed her followers and opened her wings for flight. "We can't keep our master waiting." With that, she took three running steps and flew into the air with her slightly shriveled minions close behind.

They flew for only a moment, taking in the familiar sights of the place they called home, before they landed at the ornate door that was the entrance to the sanctified lair of their people's living god. Kiima paused for a moment as the gravity of what she was about to do sunk in. She was going to see her Lord Saffron. Only the royal chamberlain and a few select servants were allowed near their leader since he had been reborn. She studied the carvings in the massive doors, remembering her history lessons. Reliefs of their Lord, shining light and warmth upon his people, were scattered among images of great battles and other historical events. She was proud to serve to her master. Holding onto the map for comfort, she knocked on the door.

A sound of a wooden board being slid aside answered her request for entry. Clanking and creaking signaled the door's imminent opening. Parting inward, the interior of the palace was seen as a long hallway lined with lit torches and a beautiful red carpet with intricate designs of birds of all species. A guard appeared from behind the door and bowed to the three. With an open hand, he pointed the way to their earthbound deity.

Kiima and her two companions respectfully bowed to the guard in return and went inside while the doors loudly shut behind them. Following the carpet, they came to a large door with a symbol of a Phoenix on it. The royal chamberlain, a regal looking old Chinese man with bird wings and claws for hands bowed and spoke. "I will announce your presence. Wait here."

Turning around, the ancient bird man opened the door and approached the chamber where his master dwelled. He gently bowed in reverence, slowly moving his arm forward to push aside a blue silk curtain allowing his lord to see him in a position of respect. He spoke with honor and conviction. "My lord, your loyal servants have returned from Japan with great news."

The silhouette of a man was all that was visible on the ornate throne. Quietly sitting, he made no motion or sound to acknowledge his retainer's statement. The room remained deathly silent, with only the old man's breathing creating any sound. Stillness permeated the chamber, until it was broken by a soft gentle breeze that came in from an open window. The slow air rustled a curtain on the far side of the room giving the only sign of life in an otherwise lifeless bedroom. It was as if death itself had entered and stayed for an extended visit.

The elder was extremely nervous, not knowing if his master was angry with him or someone else. He swallowed and spoke without raising his head so he wouldn't upset his master by speaking directly to him. He was hoping that his Lord wasn't in a foul mood. "Captain Kiima and her charges have arrived from Japan, m'lord." The old man's aged wings shook ever so slightly as he felt foreboding in his soul because of his master's continued silence. Was his master still displeased from yesterday's bathing disaster? Was his master considering replacing him for someone younger? Was his master testing him?

He remained bowed for several minutes, waiting for his lord to give him an answer. His spine creaked from the strain of staying in this uncomfortable position for too long. The elder slowly lifted himself to back out the doorway when he spied his prince's head resting at an odd angle. Fearing the worst, he rushed in to check on the health of his great leader only to find that what he had thought was his master was a crudely made dummy.

The elder called out for his errant king. "Lord Saffron!" He picked up the large watermelon that was used for the head and threw it down on the ground, smashing it. Kiima, Masara and Koruma rushed inside, weapons drawn, ready to defend their leader to the death. The elder angrily growled, like a parent to a disobedient child. "Where has he run off to?"

* * *

Deep in a jungle in the wilds of Japan, a lone traveler made his way slowly through the dark brush. Pushing aside another branch, he growled as he found another large rock blocking his path. 

"Grrr..." Snarled Ryoga at this latest obstacle to wherever he was going. The steadfast rock mocked his attempt at making forward progress towards home. Undaunted, he pointed his finger and touched the stone with his special technique. "Bakusai Tenketsu!" The stone shattered into thousands of pieces, only to clear a path to the base of a large tree. The pig-boy shouted to the treetops above. "Where on Earth am I now?"

Down the block, Mousse, riding his bicycle approaching Nerima central park, paused when he heard the familiar scream of anguish. Taking a second to remember, he thought out loud. "I know that voice."

The part-time duck stopped at the gates in the front of the tiny park. He scanned the area from side to side, noting nothing of importance since it was all one big blur. "Hmm... I guess I must be hearing things."

He was about to ride back to the Cat Cafe when a tree shook at the far side of the park and another explosion rattled all of the nearby windows. Mousse nodded in understanding and rode his bike to the tiny grove. Setting his bike next to a park bench that looked to him like a bike rack, he stopped at the first bush and parted the branches seeing a familiar blurry outline.

Ryoga was holding the top of his head with both hands in frustration. "I'll never get back to my farm! ARGH!"

"Hey! Ryoga!" Mousse called out, waving his hand to attract the lost boy's attention.

The lost boy twirled around in surprise with a look of joy. "Mousse! What are you doing in Sapporo?"

A swan shaped training potty smacked the wanderer on the head in response. "You're in Nerima, you idiot."

"Nerima? You sure?" Ryoga pulled out a map and quizzically studied it. "It's not on the map."

"Let me see that." Mousse snatched the map and studied it as well, completely forgetting that he couldn't read worth a darn without his glasses. As usual, he feigned understanding when he really didn't have a clue. "See, that mark." He pointed to a tea stain. "That's the uh... Tendo's and that's Tokyo Tower and that's where we are right now."

Ryoga nodded happily. "Great! Can you show me the way to the Unryuu farm?"

Mousse was about to tell Ryoga to get lost, but that was just too easy. A plan formed in his head. An evil plan, a dark plan, a plan that actually could work if Mousse really thought things through. "I know the way. It's a long journey and on the way, we'll be able to stop at Jusenkyo."

Ryoga froze in horror and the mere mention of that cursed place. "Oh, no. Not there."

"Why not? Don't you want to get cured?" Mousse smiled. He had Ryoga just where he wanted him.

"F-f-free of the p-p-pig?" He folded up his map and weeped with ecstasy. "YES! To be free of the pig! Let's go!" He marched southward and stopped at a tree trunk. "Now, which way is Jusenkyo?"

"I knew you'd see it my way. Follow me." He tugged at Ryoga's shirt sleeve to lead him out of the tiny grove of trees and into daylight. The lost boy squinted his eyes as the bright light momentarily blinded him as much as his companion.

Ryoga blinked as he saw the Tokyo Tower in the distance. "Hey, they've got one of those in Sapporo too."

"You're hopeless." Groaned the hidden weapons master as he led Ryoga through the streets of Nerima like a wayward child. As he walked, he detailed his plan to finally win back his love and deal with Saotome, once and for all. Memories of all the times that Shampoo had spurned him rushed in, making him hate his rival even more. Yes, Ranma tried to help him woo his love, but it never was enough. As long as Ranma still breathed, Shampoo would never be his. The hidden weapons master formed plan after plan and found the one that he was sure was going to succeed. All he needed now, was to find Saotome and convince him to journey to his doom.

And Mousse knew he had the perfect bait, an all expense paid trip to Jusenkyo. Ranma would never turn that down in a thousand years.

* * *

"Greetings, welcome to Ucchan's." Konatsu bowed to their newest customers. Taking the couple to a small booth, he handed them their menu and proceeded to take their orders. Dressed in a beautiful cotton kimono with an Ucchan's logo on his apron, Konatsu was doing what he did almost as well as he did as a kunoichi, waitressing. 

Ukyou took the order sheet, read it, and poured the batter on the heating surface. "Order comin' right up, Sugar." She smiled as she did what she was born to do; cook okonomiyaki.

The bell on the door rang again and Konatsu instantly appeared before the new patron and bowed again. "Greetings, welcome..." He stopped as he got a good look at the girl's light blue boots. Footwear he instantly realized belonged to... "Sailor Mercury."

Sailor Mercury gave a gentle bow as well. "Thank you. I'm here to see Ukyou Kuonji. Where is she?"

"Of course, follow me." The kunoichi couldn't hide his glee. He escorted the Sailor Senshi the short distance to where the chef was standing at the grill, completing an order.

"Lovebird special up." She slid two plates to her waiter / waitress and set her spatula down. "'Bout time you showed up. Ranma said you'd be here a while ago."

"I'm sorry Ukyou, but I had other matters to attend to." She checked the back of her uniform for any more roses and sighed in relief that she had been successful in removing all of the offending flora from her person. She produced her Mercury computer and opened it, turning it on. "Now, I need to scan you. It won't hurt a bit."

The cook slumped her shoulders. "That's what my dentist tells me. Y'know what? He don't understand the meaning of the word 'hurt'."

"I assure you. This really won't hurt. In fact, I'm done." She pressed keys fast and furiously and frowned at what she saw. "Strange."

Miss Kuonji raised an eyebrow. "What's strange, Sugar?"

"I need to scan you again to confirm. It'll just take a moment." The blue haired Senshi started another scan and a colored silhouette of a human body appeared on her screen. It was filled with a rainbow of colors as if a bag of crayons were tossed in a blender and the particles were sprinkled on her screen. "This doesn't make sense. They don't match."

Konatsu appeared behind Mercury and peeked over her shoulder. "Is she alright?"

Mercury jumped in surprise at his voice and calmed down once she saw that it was a friend. "Don't do that! I've already got enough people trying to get near me and throw roses."

Ukyou snickered while Konatsu was clueless. "You mean to tell me that people actually listened to Blue Blunder when he was on TV? Just when I thought that Jackass couldn't do anything stupider, he proves me wrong again."

"What did he do?" Konatsu timidly asked.

Mercury blushed in embarrassment. Ukyou sat back on a nearby tall stool. "Oh, nothing much, just declared mating season on the Sailor Senshi."

He placed his painted nails into his mouth and gasped. "He what?" He turned to Mercury who was even more embarrassed than before. "I didn't know it was mating season. How often does that happen to you?"

Mercury wanted to curl up and die from sheer shame. But she composed herself and shook her head in the negative. "There's no such thing as Sailor Senshi mating season." She glared at Ukyou. "Mr. Kuno made a lot of false statements and Nabiki is taking care of the problem as we speak."

Ukyou and Konatsu went white in terror. Even Kuno may not deserve the full wrath of Nabiki Tendo. The tall girl uttered in horror, "she's taking care of it?" She then lifted the edges of her mouth ever so slightly into a devilish grin. "Can't think of a better person for that to happen to, don't you agree Ko-chan?"

"Yes, from what I know of Kuno, he deserves to be punished." The waitress vanished as the couple in the booth's drinks needed refilling.

"Well," Mercury scanned Ukyou again. "Enough of him, now for you." She compared the readout and typed several commands to analyze the data. "This still doesn't make any sense, unless..." Mercury stopped in realization, then stared intently at Ukyou's forehead expecting something to appear at her gaze.

"Woah, Sugar, what's with the evil eye?" She slid back as Mercury's stare gave her the chills.

"You don't have a sigil."

"A sigil? What's that?" Ukyou asked inquisitivy.

Mercury answered sadly since she was hoping to welcome a new Sailor Senshi among their ranks but this wasn't the case, "It's a symbol of something, but you don't have it. You don't need to worry about it." She typed another command. "Answer me honestly, please. Are you cursed or under the influence of magic?"

Ukyou sat silent for a moment thinking about all of her adventures with the Nerima wrecking crew. Nothing came to mind except... "Wait... Ranchan said there's something wrong with my ki." She held out her left hand for Mercury to see. "When I was healed at the hospital room. He said that I got your ki."

"My ki? You mean my life force? Let me see. Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong." She set up some data filters and displayed the human outline on her screen again. "Well I'll be." She modified a parameter to confirm her findings. "Amazing."

"What?" Asked Konatsu from behind the Senshi, scaring her once again and causing her to throw her computer into the air. The ninja snatched the clamshell computer in flight and glanced at the image on the LCD screen.

A shadow of a twin pony-tailed girl was superimposed on the image of Ukyou. A magical aura detector claimed that the two were a perfect match. Konatsu gazed in awe at his beloved mistress and held out the computer to a rapidly breathing Senshi.

"Please, I can't take much more excitement for today." Mercury took her computer back and read the results as well. "Well, this confirms it. I'm going to have to consult some... People about this." The Senshi set her computer to scan for life energy and magical auras and aimed it at Ukyou for another pass. She hoped that Luna or Artemis might be able to figure out what to do in this situation.

"Are you done probing me with that?" Ukyou took a utensil to scrape her griddle clean. "'Cause if you are, can you tell me what's going on with my body." Ding! Went a bell on an oven at the end of the counter. "Hold that thought, I'll be right back."

Mercury nodded. "I'm not going anywhere. This is just so unusual." She went over her reading a final time and found the answer. She didn't know to be excited or worried, but she did know that something was going to have to be done before things got out of hand. She cross referenced the data and found something terrible.

"Awww..." Ukyou extracted a cake pan from the small oven. "I could have sworn I did this right." The cake in the pan was slightly burnt and emitted a rancid odor like roasted rubber. "What's that smell?" She broke off a small piece and tasted it. "Yuck! Salty." She pulled out a box with a white powder in it and stuck her finger inside. "How did I? No way I put salt instead of sugar. Only Akane's that dumb."

Mercury avoided looking at Ukyou. "You haven't cooked with Moon or Venus, have you?"

Tossing the ruined cake into the trash and leaving the pan in the sink, the chef sat back down at the stool near the Mercury Princess. "You gotta help me. I think I'm going nuts. One minute I'm a star gymnast, the next, I'm clumsy as an ox. And now I'm having urges to make cakes and I've never wanted to make a four layer cake before. To top it off, I was playing the violin in music class today. I've never played that thing in my life. I don't know what's happening to me."

"Well," Sailor Mercury snapped her computer shut and shoved it into subspace. "What happened was this. When we healed you, we gave a part of ourselves like someone giving blood. Part of that was our aura and with you being a normal girl, your body is having a difficult time accepting the donated energies."

"Are you telling me that I've got a little of each of you? What does that mean? Do I start wearing a mini-skirt and create windstorms or something?" Ukyou asked rhetorically. "What now?"

"Well, as far as I can tell. This is temporary. In time, the magic will dissipate and you'll be back to your normal self. Or maybe..." She went downcast.

The chef sat upright at attention for more bad news. "Or maybe what?"

"Well," Mercury explained, "It could go the other way and the magical energies could take over. You may actually get your wish."

"What wish?"

Nonchalantly, she shrugged then looked very depressed. "For you to wear a mini-skirt and create windstorms. I'm going to take my findings and see about finding you a treatment or cure."

"You do that. Unless I am going to wear a mini-skirt and that other stuff." Ukyou smiled. "I wouldn't really mind that at all."

Mercury rapidly shook her head. "No, not unless you have control over the magic coursing through your body, it will do far more harm than good. I'm going to research this and get you a cure or a way to gain control."

"Or what?" Ukyou nervously asked, seeing that Mercury wasn't exactly sharing everything she knew.

"I owe you this much. You saved my life." She breathed softly for a few seconds as she fought for control of her emotions. "The readings I got from you are completely unstable. If I don't find a cure for you..." She hated this part about being a future doctor, telling her patients bad news. "You're going to die."

A spatula hit the ground from Ukyou's limp hand. She closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath. "How long do I have?"

This was the worst part of the doctor patient relationship. "Months, weeks... It might even be a matter of days."

Wanting to cry, she gripped the edge of her counter for support. Konatsu instantly appeared behind his mistress and prevented her from falling on her own griddle. Tears filled his eyes as he wept for his mistress as well .

Mercury saw the fear in Ukyou's face. "I swear to you that I'll do everything I can to help you. I won't rest until I find a cure."

With new resolve, the chef stood up, pulled out a spatula and poured batter on her grill as if nothing was wrong. "You do that, Sugar. I've got a business to run. Now, what'll it be? Shrimp? Beef? Chicken?"

The Senshi sheepishly asked. "Can you make a ham okonomiyaki sandwich? To go."

Back on her favorite subject, the cook rolled up her sleeve. "I like a challenge."

* * *

The Amazon trio had taken the trip to China in a crate tied behind two large funny looking yellow birds to cross the ocean in record time. Hitching onto a jet for speed was the easy part. Detaching and landing without being shot down by the Chinese Air Force was the tough part. They had to land many kilometers away from the village to ensure that the government didn't know the exact location of their hidden homes. 

They walked the final leg of their journey and Shampoo couldn't be more pleased. "I'm happy to be home." The purple haired girl said in Chinese as she hiked with Plum and her great grandmother along a thin dirt trail up a mountain near the village. The Amazon smelled the fresh scent of wildflowers and morning dew, reminding her of the things that she had missed the most from where she was born and raised.

"Why do you say that?" Cologne answered the statement, not looking at her great granddaughter who walked behind her. If Shampoo knew what awaited her as Cologne did, she wouldn't have been as happy as she was.

"Why not? It's good to be home." She reached down to pick up a wildflower from the side of the path. "I almost forgot how beautiful it was here. I'm glad we're coming to visit."

The ancient Amazon didn't show her concern, she didn't want to worry Shampoo for what she knew was going to come. "Yes, it's always good to come home."

Overhead, a small cloud of black birds flew across the sky, too far to be of any immediate interest, but Cologne watched it with intense scrutiny. "Hurry, my children, we don't have much time."

They approached the edge of the village and Cologne stopped the group. Ahead, there was the sound of fighting and shouting. The elder held her walking stick in a defensive pose. "Come, hurry! The village is under attack. Plum, stay here."

The little girl nodded and found a large rock to hide behind. Producing bonbori from who knows where, Shampoo ran as fast as she could behind Cologne ready for fierce hand-to-hand combat. They entered a city in chaos, bird people swooped down everywhere grabbing at anything that moved. A familiar white haired woman stood on a roof of a hut and snarled as she saw the pair from Japan approach.

"Thousand Wings of the Seabird Attack!" Cried out Kiima as she opened her wings and threw a rain of needle sharp feathers at Cologne. Angrily, the old woman twirled her stick to form a perfect shield to the attack. Shampoo crouched behind her great-grandmother waiting for the bombardment to end.

Cologne ducked and Shampoo lunged forward swinging her bonbori at her opponent. Kiima barely had time to draw her sword to block and the pair fell from the roof onto the dirt below. Shampoo made an overhead strike at Kiima's head, but the girl rolled to the side to avoid it. Shampoo kicked the fallen girl in the back and used her other hand to shove a club into Kiima's arm.

Grimacing in pain, the Captain rolled on the ground to get away from the purple haired Amazon. She got to her feet and took to the air with a bonbori bouncing off of the soles of her boots. "Everyone, retreat!"

Dozens of bird warriors heeded the call and pulled back, following their Captain into the sky. They circled for a moment then scattered as archers shot arrows at them. The Amazons collected in the center of their town, all of them watching the sky for a return attack.

Minutes passed, silence the women's only companion until Gel, the current acting matriarch whistled for attention. "I need six warriors to stand watch." She pointed into the crowd. "You, you and you will take the south tower and you, you and..." She was about to point at Shampoo but her gaze turned ice cold. "**YOU**! You're under arrest! Seize her!"

The Amazon grew wide eyed in shock. What had she done? "Honored elder," she bowed, "I am Shampoo."

Cologne closed her eyes and she shed a single tear. She focused her being away from this place and wished that fate hadn't come to this.

"She admits it. Guards, take her away." Gel snarled with hate filled eyes. "For the crime of failing to fulfill your obligations under Amazon law, you'll be punished."

"But... But..." Shampoo stuttered as four women surrounded her, weapons drawn. She dropped her bonbori and held her head down in shame. "I don't understand."

Gel watched in glee as Shampoo was taken away. She was still smiling when she gloated to Cologne. "I take no pleasure in this."

Cologne wanted to rip her lungs out and feed them to fire ants. Gel's attempt being sympathetic was utterly transparent. Cologne knew full well that she was the real target of this travesty and that it was her great-granddaughter who going to suffer for it. The tiny matriarch hopped onto her cane. "What happened here?"

"They came looking for someone, but they wouldn't say who." She glared at Cologne with utter contempt. "They must have figured out that Plum was coming here."

"It's too soon." Cologne pondered. "They shouldn't have found out about the phony map yet."

"What? What have you done? I knew that you'll be the death of our way of life." A livid Gel grew red with rage. "First you teach your great granddaughter those corrupt ways and now you play tricks with Saffron?" She pointed her cane accusingly at her hated foe. "I will enjoy seeing you fall." She spun around an hopped away in fury.

"So will I." Whispered Cologne. "So will I." She hopped away to find Plum and tell her the bad news.

* * *

The squadron of bird warriors landed just outside of the Amazon village and formed a small circle. Kiima, nursing her arm, led the group. "So, have any of you seen any sign of him?" 

"We checked all the bathhouses. There's no sign of him."

"Damn it." Kiima flinched as her wound was aggravated. "Where are they hiding him?"

A soldier raised his hand. "Are you sure that our Lord is there? He would have called out for us."

Kiima nodded. "Perhaps you're right. We'll need to infiltrate them and find out what they know."

Another soldier, female this time, stepped forward. "Who can we send? They know all of our human forms."

All of the soldiers nodded in agreement. The female asked the group, "Is there anyone who they don't know about already?"

Kiima thought for a minute. "Yes. I think I know the perfect spy. You and you." She pointed to her most trusted warriors. "You're coming with me. The rest of you," She laughed maniacally. "You've got some work to do." She laughed some more making her soldiers a little concerned for their Captain's sanity.

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from replacing your champagne with shampoo. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 26th, 2007

* * *


	12. Destination: China

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 12: Destination China

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or vote yes on lobotomies for fanfic writers.

* * *

The trees behind Furinkan High School rustled and creaked in the cold night breeze. Darkness engulfed everything except for two tiny pricks of light that slowly moved a meter and a half above the grass. A tall, lanky man trudged as best as he could into the wind, holding in his arms a small stack of books and scrolls. 

The man could easily stand one and three quarters of a meter tall, if he ever stopped slouching in his natural gait. His sunken eyes and pasty skin made him look like he should be resting in a coffin instead of walking in a forest at night. His mop of black hair was held in place by a two centimeter wide band of cotton cloth that he wore as a head band. Tied to each side of this strip of cloth, just above his eyes, were two small headlights that lit the way in front of him.

Another blast of cold air flew down the path, knocking the man aside and backwards into a tree. Books went flying everywhere and he scrambled to pick up his fallen possessions while muttering an all too common curse. "Damn you, Saotome."

A few moments later, Hikaru Gosenkugi held his cargo of magic tomes in his arms again and snickered. "Just you wait... I'll get you... I'll get you good..." He remembered the time he had the 'One Punch' battle armor and tried to defeat Ranma with it. That incident ended in a spectacular explosion. He was still making payments to Furinkan High School for the damage he caused to the field.

He then tripped on his own two feet, planting his face into the soft grass. Just before darkness claimed him, he muttered. "Well... Maybe tomorrow."

Somewhere, out in a remote part of the solar system, a dark creature had to wait another day. He was getting really tired of waiting.

* * *

Akane burst out the tiny restroom of her apartment, grabbed her school bag from the living room table and dashed out the door. "I'm late! I'm late!" 

Nodoka's hair fluttered in the micro windstorm and the bento she held vanished when Hurricane Akane whizzed by. Using her newly freed hand, she straightened her hair back into a bun. Papers and dust settling to the ground were the only things that remained in the girl's wake. The elder Saotome waved her hand in a greeting that could not be seen by its intended recipient. "Bye, Dear! See you tonight."

A snore was heard coming from the bedroom and Nodoka slowly shook her head in disappointment. She stood in the doorway, sadly looking down at her son, sprawled out on top of the covers on the western style bed. Holes dotted the wall alongside his sleeping spot, created by Akane's tossing and turning and Ranma's ability to instinctively dodge the blows. The pair even trained in their sleep, she surmised.

Taking Akane's bokken that rested against the doorway, she poked her son from a safe distance, not knowing if he was going to strike. It generated no response. She poked him again. No response. She tapped his chest with the tip of the weapon and admonished him. "Son, it's time for you to get to school. Don't be like your father."

He mumbled. "C'mon, Pops, I won last time..." He turned onto his side and went right back into a deep sleep.

Nodoka stood aside from the doorway in preparation of Ranma's imminent awakening. She hated to use this technique, but Ranma had only fifteen minutes to be in his homeroom. "Ranma, breakfast's ready."

**WHOOSH!!!** Mrs. Saotome spun around like a top and the sounds of munching was instantly heard coming from the kitchen. "Well, that never fails." She smiled.

In the kitchen, Ranma was inhaling his bowl of rice and washed it down with a cup of soup when he saw his mother enter. Not pausing to speak, he mumbled with a mouthful of food. "Oh, hm, mmm! Thms mastes gremm."

Placing a makeup kit on the table, she sat down. "Son, what have I told you about table manners?"

Swallowing the last of the soup, Ranma sheepishly answered. "Sorry, Mom."

"You don't have much time, so I'll get you ready here." She opened the makeup kit and took out a small jar of facial moisterizer.

"Why ya gettin' all fancied up for, Mom? Got an appointment or something?" Ranma got up to leave.

"Me? Don't you remember what day it is today?"

"Uh..." Ranma's eyes wiggled in their sockets as his brain desperately tried to deduce the answer to the question. It found dozens of files on martial arts, running from angry shopkeepers, martial arts, 101 ways to insult people and gee, more martial arts. Coming up empty, his brain punted, "Yeah."

"Then?" She opened the jar and held it up expectantly.

Still trying to come up an acceptable answer, another reflexive instinct kicked in. "I'm late!" He dashed into the restroom to change. A moment later, he called out from within. "Mom, where's my clothes?"

"They're hanging on the door, where I've always put them."

A shuffling sound was heard before the door creaked open, "You sure? I only see Akane's uniform here."

"That's not Akane's."

"Wadda ya mean..." His grey matter snapped its fingers as the knowledge it was looking for was found. "It's Friday, isn't it?"

"And you've got twelve minutes to get to class."

He slowly closed his eyes and gave out a small breath. "I'll be right out." He shut the door and the sound of a tap was heard. A minute later, Ranko came out, dressed in her Juuban High School girl's uniform. The sailor suit had a dark blue skirt with a white blouse. She walked over to the chair nearest her mother and sat down.

"This will only be a moment." Nodoka applied just a touch of moisterizer on her neo-daughter. She applied a little foundation and just a hint of blush. Ranko's natural beauty needed no make up at all, since her features were already close to perfection. "There, now, have you considered wearing a different hairstyle?"

Reacting, Ranko threw both hands up with warding gestures in her hands. "No! Stay away from my hair!"

Taken aback by Ranko's sudden flinch, Nodoka moved away a little as well. "What's the matter, Dear? I just asked if you'd consider a new style, that's all."

Feeling stupid, she relaxed and put her arms down. "Sorry, it's just that I've got a friend who... Nevermind, it's not important." She got up and grabbed her school bag and lunch bento. "Gotta go."

She paused for a moment to look at herself in a small mirror on the wall. She was pleased with her good looks, then noticed the time. "I'm late!!"

Only an outline of white dust particles remained where Ranko stood. The sliding glass door that led to the balcony was magically in the open position and a gust of wind marked the exit path that went twelve stories, straight down.

Nodoka smiled. "If I had ever given birth to a daughter, I would have wanted her to be just like you." She closed the makeup kit and smiled wider in pride. "I have given birth to a manly son... And a womanly daughter." She softly rubbed her forehead as a headache came on. "Truly, women in the Saotome family go through trials and tribulations."

She reached over to her little pill box to search for an aspirin.

* * *

"I'm late! I'm late..." Ranko spoke to herself as she ran along the rim of a stone wall. "Man, my teacher's gunna kill me." She reached the end of the wall and jumped with a little ki to clear the street in a single bound. A few lucky, or not so lucky men fell over with smiles on their faces and a trickle of blood coming from their noses at the free show they witnessed. 

Ranko got to the end of the block and hopped onto the sidewalk, whizzing around pedestrians at a breakneck pace. She turned another corner to get in sight of the entry gates of Juuban High School when she ran into an old friend, literally. Both people obeyed the laws of physics this time around and fell backwards onto their rear ends. Ranko was able to recover first. "Watch where you're going, you nitwit! I'm late!"

Ryoga growled at first, ready to pummel this person into ground beef but stopped when he saw that it was a girl he had plowed into. "Hey! You're the one who... Uh... Er..." He fiddled with his fingers as he tried to form a cohesive sentence, a task that was beyond his abilities in the presence of a pretty girl. "Um... Oh..."

Mousse stepped up to help Ryoga off the ground. "I'm sorry Miss if my friend startled you." He squinted his eyes at the blurry image in front of him. There was only one girl he knew that had that same color hair. "Ranma?"

"Mousse? Whatcha doin' here? Aren't you supposed be back at the cafe or somethin'?" Ranko said while picking up her school bag, checking inside to see if her bento was damaged. No one touched her food, or there would be hell to pay.

Ryoga snarled and shot up, pulling out his umbrella from the top of his backpack. "Ranma! What are you doing dressing up like a girl! What will Akane think? In the name of Akane, I'll punish you!"

Ranko dodged the thrust with the umbrella, spun around and planted her foot on Ryoga's backside sending him forward and face first into the sidewalk. "It goes, in the name of the Moon, moron." Ranko shuddered at what she had just said.

"Just why are you dressed like that?" Asked the almost blind man. "Has the curse finally warped your mind?"

"Hey, it's none of your business." She did a somersault straight up into the air as Ryoga ran under her in another attempt to smash her. She landed with her arms in a "V" position like a gymnast. "What are you doing here? Did you ask Mr. Broken Compass to take you to China or something?"

"Matter of fact, that's where we're going." Smiled Mousse. "Was wondering if you'd want to tag along?"

"Why?" Ranko bent backwards from the hip so her head touched the ground while her legs and feet remained in place. Instantly, Ryoga flew overhead, wildly swinging at empty space and crashed into the school wall. Ranko bent back upright. "Why would I want to go with you to China?"

Mousse reached into his sleeve of his Chinese robes and pulled out a set of brass knuckles. He dropped that and reached in again, this time pulling out a stick of dynamite. He extracted a bag of potato chips, a metal chain, a deck of playing cards, a live ferret and a spare pair of glasses.

While Mousse was searching his robes, amassing a large pile of stuff in the process, Ranko allowed her legs to fold and she flattened herself on the sidewalk with the skill of a limbo dancer. From her position, she rolled over to get out of the way of the umbrella that smashed the ground she once occupied. Ryoga was sitting on top of the umbrella to give it more mass for the impact. Ranko rolled face down, twirled her legs and kicked the umbrella sending Ryoga flying into the air and landing in the branches of a tree. She completed her spin like a caffeinated breakdancer, jumped into the air, landed and hoisted the umbrella out of the ground and over her shoulder.

"Ah ha! Found it!" Mousse presented Ranko with a full color brochure with Chinese writing.

She trembled in recognition at the document. "Th-That's..." She nonchalantly opened the umbrella and held it to her side. Dozens of bandannas harmlessly bounced off of it.

"Aren't you excited?" Mousse could barely contain his glee. "It's the map to Jusenkyo!"

"J-J-Jusenkyo? What sort of a moron are you? Wait a second, I forgot who I'm talking to." She closed the umbrella and shoved the handle into a crack in the ground like a pole vaulter would plant his pole. A moment later, the other end was shoved into Ryoga's chest as he charged again. The make shift pole sent the part time pig flying overhead and across the street, making a loud crash as he slammed head first into a trash can. "You're not really thinkin' of goin' there, are you?"

Mousse's jaw dropped, things weren't going as planned. "What do you mean Saotome? Don't you want to get cured?"

Not anymore, thought Ranko. But then, these guys didn't have a clue about her other hobby and she wasn't going to tell them. "Uh... I guess."

"Great! Then let's go!"

"Hold your horses buddy!" Ranko opened the umbrella again to deflect a second, more intense barrage of flying bandannas. "I didn't say I was gunna go with you. Remember last time we tried to get a cure? You and P-Chan over there were so busy trying to figure out which packet of Nannichuan was the real one, that the barrel fell into the river."

Mousse blinked as he recalled a time where the three of them had each purchased a packet of unlabeled Jusenkyo cursed powder and only one packet was the real cure. Only when the first two packets were found to be from the Spring of Drowned Saber Tooth Tiger and Spring of Drowned Pterodactyl, did they know the last was Spring of Drowned Man. In their haste to see who would jump in to be cured first, the barrel of the blessed water was knocked over, rolled down a hill and fell into a river to be lost forever. During the entire time the barrel was plummeting down the hillside, the three were beating each other up like the Three Stooges instead of working together to save their cure. It wasn't the trio's best moment in history. "Oh, yeah. But this time it's different."

"Well..." Ranko lunged forward and did a handstand as Ryoga rushed by like a bull trying to nail the matador. A twang was heard as a light pole vibrated from the impact of Ryoga's fist. "How about the time we went to the Japanese Nannichuan, huh? You were a big help there."

"Hey, don't you try to blame that on me! If you hadn't needed the old monkey's help, you'd kept me out of it. Here I am, trying to help you and this is the thanks I get." Mousse crossed his arms in his sleeves and turned his head to the side and huffed. "See if I help you again."

"Help me again!?!" Yelled Ranko incredulously, "The way I see it, you owe me big time buster. If it hadn't been for you, losing all of our money, I wouldn't have had to work as a waitress when we went to Mt. Horai. I still can't believe that you thought that that stupid statue was your backpack, geez!"

"Well, you did make us all the money we needed from the tips you got."

"Tips! What's this with me and gettin' a good job anyhows! I go to Ucchan's and work as a waitress, I go to the ol' ghoul's place and I end up as a waitress. Heck, next week, I start my ol' job back at that Sushi place and guess what I'm uniform I'm wearing?" She paused, only to leap straight up into the air as a yellow and black blur flashed by.

"A... A bunny suit?" Mousse guessed.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah, there was that time I had to work at that casino to pay for Nabiki's little date with that Kinnosuke creep. I almost ended up being sold. Brrr..." She shivered. It was just another reminder of why she hated Nabiki so much. "Anyways, I'm gettin' a little tired of waiting on customers. So, thanks, but no thanks pal."

"Heh." Mousse smirked. "The great Ranma Saotome isn't a man after all. C'mon Ryoga, we don't need him." He waved his arms and the giant pile of assorted junk that came from his robes vanished without a trace.

"Ranma Saotome! This is all your fault!" Ryoga stood his ground and got depressed, which was his usual state of being. "I thought you were a man!"

"Hey, I'm more a man than you are!" Came the statement from a red haired girl in a Juuban High girl's uniform, lipstick, foundation and just a hint of blush.

"The world is a dark and lonely place." Ryoga whispered as a green glow formed around his body. He placed his hands into position to launch his ki attack. "You did this to me."

Ranko took a step back and saw that they were surrounded by dozens of high school students who had gathered to watch the fight. If Ryoga launched his attack, many innocent bystanders would be hurt and Ryoga didn't look like he cared at all about the collateral damage.

The hidden weapons master was pleased at this new turn of events and followed through. "Then prove it, let's get rid of these stupid curses once and for all."

Ranko frowned as she admitted to herself that Ryoga was right. She was responsible for doing this to him. He was cursed to be a pig because she knocked him into the spring of Drowned Piglet. If she helped take him to his cure, the debt of honor would be paid in full. Either that, or watch the Sailor Senshi show up to stop Ryoga from leveling the rest of the Juuban district. "Fine, I'll help you two get to Jusenkyo."

"Ranma Saotome, prepare to... Huh?" Ryoga blinked. Ranma was actually going to help?

Grinning, Mousse stuck out his hand to shake Ranko's. He clasped the hand firmly and held it up to his heart. "Thank you Ranma! Now we'll all get cured!"

"EEEKKK!" Screamed the tall schoolgirl that Mousse was talking to. She smacked him on his head with her school bag, then threw him over her shoulder. "My old boyfriend would never have done that!" Makoto Kino huffed in righteous indignation. "Masher!"

Ranko made warding signs at Ryoga, who was slowly coming out of his trance. "Ease down there, guy! No need to use that. C'mon, think of Akari."

"World... Dark... Lonely..." Ryoga moaned, still feeling bitter and depressed.

"Look, soon you'll be a whole man again, doesn't that sound nice?" Ranko sweated, hoping that Ryoga would snap out of his despair before the area was consumed by his heavy ki.

"A... A whole man?" Ryoga looked up. "This isn't another trick, is it Ranma?"

"My, my, look at the time. Mako-chan, could you tell Akane that I'll be busy for a day or two or three. I gotta take care of something." With that, she grabbed Ryoga by the collar and led him down the street with Mousse following.

"Just who were those people?" Makoto slowly shook her head in dismay. She looked down and found Ranko's backpack laying at the edge of the shallow crater in the concrete. She reached down and picked it up. "I don't think Akane's going to like this." With that, she spun on her heel and pushed through the dispersing crowd to get to her homeroom.

Down the street, a redhead was leading the lost boy toward the waterfront. There, she knew that they could board a boat to take them to China.

Ranko's mind was elsewhere. She thought to herself. "I just have to wait for these guys to fall asleep, I teleport them to China and then I'm history."

Ryoga's mind was elsewhere. He thought to himself. "I just have to jump in the spring of Drowned Man and I'm free of the pig! Yes!" Somewhere, deep inside his consciousness, he wondered just how Akari would feel about this. She wanted him to be a whole man again, didn't she?

Mousse's mind was focused at the job at hand. He mentally checked off another part of the plan. Watching the redhead pulling the lost one in front of him, he happily awaited the next phase of the mission. "Soon, we'll get to Jusenkyo and it'll look like an accident." He cracked his knuckles. "Yeah, with you out of the way, Shampoo's finally mine."

He stopped. "Hey you two!"

Both Ranko and Ryoga turned to face him. "What?"

"The airport is that way." He pointed to a subway station.

Ranko tilted her head in confusion. "Airport? Why would we go there? Who's got that kind of money?"

Mousse pulled out a wad of bills. "I do."

Ryoga's eyes glistened with tears. "I'm going to be a man again."

Ranko grabbed Ryoga's sleeve with more force than before. "C'mon you, the sooner we get to China, the sooner I don't have to listen to you."

The boy with the puppy dog eyes and blissful smile gave no resistance and joyfully whispered like a mantra, "Free of the pig. Free of the pig..."

Mousse gave an evil smile. "Yes, the sooner we get to China, the sooner I don't have to listen to you either."

* * *

Ukyou sighed as the teacher wrote on the white board some complicated looking math equation. The chef's eyes drifted as they always did to an empty desk in the middle of the room. Once, not long ago, her fiancee slept there and she would feel comfort in his presence. Knowing he was there made each day go by with just a hint of happiness. Her heart felt as empty as the desk she stared at. 

She leaned forward, placing her head in the palms of her hands, resting her elbows on the desktop. She breathed slowly, not really listening to the boring lecture on how to calculate the surface of an irregular polygon. Closing her eyes, she could see him; his long black hair, his tall physique, and his smile. Ukyou's face looked happy at that thought. Yes, when he smiled was when her heart filled with joy. The face blurred for a moment and she saw the smiling face of a man in a white kimono, with two bows in his thick long hair. His lips, coated in a bright pink color and a look of deep caring in his eyes.

The chef popped open her eyes and sat upright, rigid in fright. She didn't just daydream of her roommate, did she? She stuck her tongue out in disgust, "Yuck." The idea of dating someone who out did her in every aspect of being female gave her a chill. But then, Ranma wasn't much better. When he put his mind to it, he could use his female form in ways that put supermodels to shame.

A strange sound coming from outside drew the attention of the class. Hundreds, then thousands of black birds circled over a spot a few blocks away. The sheer numbers of them made quite a racket. Several students got out of their chairs to take positions at the window to get a better look. Ukyou, being taller than most, had no problem seeing where this flock was going.

They were directly over her restaurant and she grew frightened. "Teacher, I gotta go."

The math teacher was about to protest, but watching his student dive head first out of a third story window stifled that idea. He opened the attendance book and found Miss Kuonji's name. He tore off an absence form from the pad on the desk and looked at the checkboxes.

Name of student:  
Time of absence:  
Date of absence:

Reason for absence (Check one):

Kidnapped  
Drugged  
Fight  
Act of god(s)  
Amazon raid  
Principal's request  
Training journey  
Panty raid  
On quest to find cure for curse  
Drained by Miss Hinako  
Food poisoning  
Went insane  
Bad hair day  
Sick  
Other

Appropriate special cases (Check all that apply):

Offsite incident  
Will return today  
Will return tomorrow  
May never return at all  
Has assumed another form (Please specify)  
Has changed in age. See attached transfer forms to alternate school.

Teacher signature  
Student signature (If the student has hands)

He filled in the form, taped it to the student roll and closed the book. "All right students, back to your desks."

Yuka called out to Ukyou as she bounded over the wall of the school. "Be careful, Ukyou!"

Sayuri shrugged. "Where's she going in a hurry?"

"Ahem!" The teacher stood behind his podium. "Shall I locate Miss Ninomiya?"

Even though very few students in the room practiced martial arts, they all flawlessly excuted the Saotome School's technique of jumping into their assigned seats.

* * *

"Why that jerk!" Akane snapped her pencil in two. "Running off with Ryoga and Mousse at a time like this!" 

Minako was fuming as well. She and Akane were in their P.E. uniforms and stood in the gym next to the volleyball court. "We've got a game Monday night, and Ranko was our spade in the whole."

Makoto flinched as yet another fractured proverb came from the lips of her Senshi teammate. She didn't know whether telling these two that Ranko was absent for possibly a week was a good idea, but the deed was done. Both were raising battle auras for different reasons.

"That's just great. Mako-chan, can you fill in for Ranko today? Yuuki's sprained her ankle and Mariko's on vacation with her family and we need six players."

"Where's everyone else? What about the alternates?" Makoto asked while trying to avoid her t-shirt from catching on fire from the heat emanating from Akane.

Minako slumped and pointed to a group of girls at the end of the court. Naru was there plus a certain bubble headed blond with twin pony tails and the coordination of a drunk blind person who was spun around in a dryer.

"You don't mean?" Makoto gasped. "How did she get on the team?"

Minako looked up with half lidded eyes. "She didn't, she's an alternate. Which means, that if Ranko doesn't show up..."

Akane nodded. "I'll find her." She produced her Senshi communicator from somewhere and ran off to find a place to call her wayward husband. Out of earshot, she opened the little watch like device and dialed Sun's extension.

In the classroom, where Makoto had stashed Ranko's school bag, the beeping of a Senshi communicator was heard.

Akane grew impatient with every ring. Finally, the line was picked up. "Ranma, you..."

"You've reached the voice mail for Sailor Sun. This had better be important! **BEEP!**"

Akane growled into the microphone, seething in fury. **"RANMA!!!!**"

Inside the gym Minako and Makoto shivered. The tall girl spoke first. "I take it that she's not answering."

Minako looked over at Usagi just as a volleyball was thrown to her. The blond jumped up, twisted and caught her legs in her hair, falling down flat on her belly. "Ouchie!"

The girl who also doubled as Sailor Venus closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "I think we'll just forfeit and save ourselves the embarrassment."

Makoto held onto Minako's shoulder. "I think you may be right."

* * *

Ukyou ran faster and faster, taking to the rooftops. The birds ahead had flown away, but her danger sense had kicked into overdrive already. With a super human leap, she cleared a city block and touched down only a hundred meters from her store. The few pedestrians on the sidewalk made a clear path for the chef to dash through. Super martial artists running at high speeds were a common occurrence, so no one paid any attention to the boyish looking girl with the giant silver spatula. 

She skidded to a halt at the doorway of the Ucchan's. Assuming a stance, she made some gestures with her arms and cried out. "I am Sailor Moon, and in the name of the Moon, I'll... I'll. What the heck am I doing?!?"

Shaking her head to clear it, she paused and took a good look at the interior of her shop. She saw numerous things wrong with this picture. A window was broken outward, black feathers covered the side alley and the front of the store. The final part almost made her want to drop her weapon and cry.

Blood everywhere.

Lots of blood.

"Ko-chan?" She asked timidly, hoping that the source of the red liquid that covered almost everything in the store was not from her waitress. She used her spatula to push aside the door and stepped inside.

The restaurant looked like a bomb had gone off. Tables were overturned, chairs shattered, and countless shurikens were stuck in the walls, ceiling and the long counter. The smell of death was overpowering as she stepped forward and heard a crunching sound. She lifted her foot to find feathers and glass glued together with a red paste. Terror gripped her as she looked around for any sign of life. "Konatsu! Can you hear me?"

In the debris, she saw small bulges about the size of rats. She poked one feather covered object and it gave way to the pressure. She scraped aside the feathers and found a dead blackbird underneath. It had a shuriken stuck in its chest.

Taking a step back, she scanned the room for how many birds had died. She stopped counting once she reached fifty and had only covered just a small section of the front of the store. Ukyou shouted to the lifeless room. "Ko-chan!"

Worry filled the girl's heart. Konatsu must have been out of earshot or dead if he didn't answer her call. Fearing the latter, Ukyou trudged through the mess and ran up the stairs to her bedroom. Thankfully, her bedroom only had a few feathers, but no other more disgusting matter. "Where did I put that thing?" She opened her underwear drawer and pulled out the Senshi communicator that Ranma had given her a while ago. She dialed Ranma's number and got the answering machine. "Ranma, this is Ukyou, Something's happened at my shop, I need you to come right away."

She pressed the end call button. And tapped her foot trying to figure out things. "Okay, my shop's full of birds. I was attacked by bird people. Ko-chan kicked their asses. But where is he?"

She sat on her little bed. "Did they?" She searched her room for anything human sized, utterly terrified at what she might find. She ran down the hall, conducting a room to room search. She checked the wash room, the upstairs storage room, the guest room and found nothing but feathers and dead birds. She went back to the top of the stairs, holding her nose to ward off the growing stench of freshly rotting meat.

Slowly climbing down the stairs, she continued her search, checking everywhere for any sign of her kunoichi. She stopped at Konatsu's tiny room under the stairs and slid aside the paper door. "Please don't be..." She pulled on the little chain to turn on the tiny light bulb to illuminate his alcove. She breathed a sigh of relief in finding the bed empty and everything in order. She noticed a tiny bulge in a clump of dirty laundry. She pushed aside one of Konatsu's panties to find a tightly bound scroll. It looked familiar.

She undid the clasp and unrolled it, reading the text she instantly recognized. "I love Ukyou, I love Ukyou..." It read, over and over again. She rolled it back up and returned it into its hiding place. She looked around for any other place that her servant could be and spotted the door to the back alley. She went outside to where she and Konatsu would train and found the area was a battlefield.

The interior of the restaurant was a mess, but this place was a disaster area. There was no doubt remaining in the girl's mind, Konatsu didn't go down without a fight. Over one hundred dead birds littered the ground that was completely covered in black feathers. Thin ninja spikes, shurikens and napkins folded into throwing darts were everywhere. But there was still no sign of her kunoichi. Then she saw it. An arrow was sticking out of the crate that they used for target practice. It was strange because it had a note on it and the arrow had fins that were made from starched newspaper, a tell tale indication of who made the arrow. It was what her kunoichi used for construction material. She unrolled the napkin and saw a single word, written in lipstick.

The chef raised a battle aura that incinerated the feathers on the ground for meters and the paper in her hand. It didn't matter. She had a name. A name of someone who was going to pay, and pay dearly.

Kiima.

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and prevents me from setting the world on fire. Fire good! Heh heh... 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 26th, 2007

* * *


	13. Birds come to roost

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 13: Birds come to roost

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me reinstall Microsoft Windows again, and again, and again...

* * *

The lunch bell rang at Furinkan High, signaling the end of the current class and the start of the noon break. Hikaru Gosenkugi sighed as everyone gathered in groups that didn't involve him. In short time, he was sitting all alone, in the corner, utterly ignored. He reached into his desk and pulled out his book bag, clutching it to his chest like it contained the secrets of the universe. Truth be told, that's just what was in the bag.

He snuck out of the classroom, an act that was trivial for him since no one even bothered to shoot a glance in his direction. He slithered around a corner and ducked into the shadows. Numerous students ran by his location, all on the never ending quest to be first in line at the cafeteria to get the best breads before they were all sold out.

Once the mass of students had disappeared down the stairs, the lanky teenager silently tip toed down the stairs and toward the library. Taking a look to the left and to the right, hoping one of the resident bullies weren't around to beat him up for his lunch money, he cautiously approached the open doorway and peered in. He saw the librarian typing away on a terminal with one hand and holding a sandwich in the other. He smiled upon seeing that no one else was in the room.

Hina, the elderly librarian, looked up from her screen as Hikaru made his almost silent entrance. She put her lunch down, took off her bifocals and wiped them clean with a tissue as she spoke with a happy expression. "Today's your lucky day."

Hikaru's face became paler than normal, turning white like fresh snow. He couldn't believe that he actually had luck that wasn't bad, terrible or awful. "I-It came?"

"This morning, Hon'. Let me get it for you." She swiveled around in her office chair and rummaged around behind her librarian's counter. Hikaru approached the wooden desk slowly in the hopes that he wouldn't offend the gods by being too expectant of his long awaited prize.

"Hmm..." Hina mused as she placed a small stack of books on the counter. "I could have sworn it came." She placed her fingertips on the spines of the books and slid her digits upwards as if the motion would get the books to tell her where the missing tome was. She made a clicking sound with her tongue, a habit that annoyed other students when they came to study, but was permissible when only Gosenkugi was around. She, like everyone else, just didn't care about the impossibly thin wanna be sorcerer. "Maybe it's over there."

The lanky student sighed. "Just my luck," he surmised. There was only one form of luck he ever experienced, and it was bad. His eyes followed Hina as she kicked the ground and rolled in her chair from behind the desk to the table in the center of the study area. There was a small rolling cart stacked with books and DVDs. She stopped with pinpoint precision in front of the cart and quickly examined the titles. She paused and pulled out a very old looking book and held it out for Hikaru to see. "Here it is!"

He couldn't believe his eyes. Before him, written in English script in small letters below a large title in meaningless scribbles were the words he dared not hope he'd ever actually see in his lifetime, "The Demonomicon".

Gosenkugi blinked. The book was still there. He shook his head. The book remained in view. He turned around to look at the area above the doorway, searching for a hidden camera and some TV personality lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to say, "Smile! You're on hidden camera!" The live audience was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, Hon'." Hina snapped her fingers to get his attention. "You okay?"

"Uh..." He was mesmerized by the leather-bound cover. Was it cow leather or did it come from something else? He didn't really want to know the answer to that question. "Yes, I'll be fine." He moved closer to the book, but the elder pulled it away and held it close to her chest.

She held out her hand expectantly. "Library card?"

He froze in terror. He placed his hands on his cheeks and moaned to the heavens! **"NNNNNOOOOOO!!!** I forgot it at home!"

"No cardy, no booky. Principal's rules." She rolled away in a flash, back behind her desk; book hidden from view.

"But... But... You know me. You know I've got a card." He pleaded to the now unresponsive librarian. He was so close to gaining the forbidden knowledge that he couldn't leave the room without the book. He knew that somehow, someway, if he left the room, the book would vanish in a puff of smoke. These things just had a way of happening around him.

"Yep, you've got a card. Where is it?" She went back to typing one handed and finishing her sandwich with the other.

He grasped both hands together in the universal sign of total begging. "I can't leave without that book."

"I can't give you the book without a library card." Hina smirked. "And don't even try to ask me to bend the rules. I look terrible in a bowl cut."

Sensing utter defeat, he would submit to complete humiliation. He had to have that book. "I'll do it."

"What Hon'?" She filled with dread. He couldn't be serious, no one in their right mind was going to do... That.

He was on his knees and bowed. "I have to have that book. I'll do anything." He rubbed his hair on the top of his head. "And I will."

"So, you'll use Article 9, I take it."

He closed his eyes. He was going to do anything and he meant it. "I'll use Article 9."

"Okay." The librarian reached under her desk and pressed the shiny red button. She was pleased. She's going to get a little bonus in her pay envelope come next payday.

Principal Kuno burst into the room holding shears. His Hawaiian shirt was the only thing louder than his entrance. "Aloha, Keiki! I gots da call. We's be havin' an Article 9 I be takin'?"

Hina pointed to Hikaru. "He already invoked it."

The Principal was very pleased. "Good job Keiki! Da big Kahuna will remember next Friday you bein' good hard worker. 'Elpin' me out in makin' the Keiki look proper." Three seconds later, Hikaru's hair was floating down to the floor and a mirror was shoved in his face.

Hikaru sulked. He didn't look too bad with a buzz cut, but he was going to get picked on a little more today because of it.

"Lookin' good man! Hina, you take care o' da Keiki now, why doncha?" The palm tree haired man placed a strong hand on Gosenkugi's shoulder. "Youza see, Keiki who follow da rules get good privileges man. You make good choice. Now, I be off. I gotsa find me boy and fix 'is 'air." With that, the principal vanished as if he had never been in the room. Only a small pile of Gosenkugi's hair and his new hairdo were the only signs of the elder's passing.

Not looking up from his gaze on the floor, Hikaru softly asked. "Can I have my book now?"

"Sure Hon'." She snickered. She tossed the book to the bowing man and the volume bounced off of his head. He grabbed it before it flew out of his reach and caressed the cover with the same care as an archeologist would upon unearthing a priceless antiquity.

Hina took the last bite of her sandwich and asked with a little concern. "You alright there?"

He looked up with a gleam in his eye. His plans were coming to fruition. The book had all the answers to the questions he was asking. Tonight was going to be different. "I'm alright... Now."

* * *

Kasumi hummed a little tune to herself as she hung up the laundry to dry. A blanket here, a karate gi there and shortly thereafter, all of the wash was on the clothesline. She held the empty basket close to her waist and felt her heart become as empty as the plastic container.

The laundry once required eight ropes to hold it all. Now, fluttering in the breeze, were four lines of assorted clothes. In the past, Kasumi would have rejoiced at the lower workload. She had wanted to spend some more time studying textbooks that she had borrowed from Dr. Tofu and now after having been granted her wish, she regretted it.

Nabiki was busy with her new role as the president of the Sailor Moon Fan Club which meant she was spending almost no time at home and was having her clothes dry cleaned. With Akane, Ranma and his mother living in Juuban, the number of regular visitors had trickled to almost none. Ukyou would stop by once in a while to drop off some okonomiyaki take out for Soun, but none of Ranma or Akane's old friends had a reason to visit anymore. With the lack of morning sparring sessions, fights and weird happenings, the number of clothes that needed mending or washing were far fewer than ever before.

Even though her father and Mr. Saotome were playing shogi on the back porch, a sign that some things hadn't changed, the house felt empty, barren and lonely. She wondered for a moment at what was to become of her. Her sisters had found their way with Akane's Senshihood and Nabiki's career guiding their respective lives. Her father's finances were cared for by Nabiki so he had no wants. What was in Kasumi's future? What did fate have in store for her? Did she want to care for her father in his golden years? Wouldn't it have been better to reconsider Miss Hinako as someone to fill her mother's shoes and be a loving caring wife for Father so she could consider something for herself instead of her family?

A teapot's whistle broke her musings and Kasumi fondly remembered the special significance that sound meant to the occupants and guests to her family's ancestral home. Always that high pitched tone was followed by the footsteps of a purple cat, a white duck, a panda or Ranma-chan wanting to change back into their birth forms. Today, the sound only signaled that tea was ready to be served and not a general call for a guest to come visit.

The oldest Tendo girl felt a prickling down her back as something seemed wrong about the backyard. She turned around and spotted a small boy wearing a magnificent silk pantsuit. He stood slightly over one hundred and thirty centimeters tall, wearing white leather gloves, open toed sandals, and an elaborate headdress that gave a regal air to his ensemble. His white feathered cloak flew open as the boy walked with purpose across the grass to the side of the largest koi pond. The stranger planted a large staff into the ground with the top end having a gleaming hoop of silvery metal with flames made of the same material as decoration.

The oddest thing about the boy, not that the boy himself was rather strange, and weird people had a habit of appearing here, was that in his other hand he held a plastic tub with a rubber duck, a toy lobster, bath soaps and a towel. She breathed a sigh of relief; this boy didn't appear to be a bill collector. However, he could be some prince coming to marry Akane or Ranma-chan. The bath supplies were the most likely reason for his visit and the Tendo acted accordingly as the gracious host she was.

"Young man." Kasumi asked, not really sure just who or even what this person was. She was certain about one thing; he shouldn't be disturbing the fish. "If you wish to take a bath, we have a furo you could use."

The boy finally took notice that Kasumi was in his presence and sneered in return. "Your water is impure. My journey was in vain."

Kasumi blinked at the unexpected response. He wasn't after someone's hand in marriage, which was a good omen. Concerned for the well being of the koi, she asked. "Oh, my. I'm sorry, but could you tell me what's wrong with our water?"

"I see that the Jusenkyo link to here was never completed." He tapped the end of his strange staff into the water and a small amount of steam bubbled out.

"Are you referring to the Jusenkyo guide who was here some time ago. No, he wasn't able to make a Nannichuan." Kasumi remembered when the infamous guard came to Nerima and proclaimed that their koi pond was linked to the spring water from Jusenkyo. Much to the dismay of the cursed, he was unsuccessful in making a spring of drowned man and it would take one thousand years before the next time they could try again. With this recollection, she understood just why her new guest was interested in the pond. "Are you looking for a cure to your curse?"

Genma's ears popped up with the most holiest of phrases. The promise of a cure. Instantly, he was standing next to Kasumi. "A cure you say? Where's the cure?"

The boy huffed at these clueless landlings. He twirled his staff upside down and hopped onto a bracket mounted just under the half meter diameter hoop. He held on to the staff like a warlock would ride a broomstick and it floated in the air as the hoop glowed in fire, scorching the ground. "I have no need of you. I'll take my leave and return to Jusenkyo. Pathetic land... urk..." The boy was thrown to the ground as Genma jumped on the flying staff.

"Saotome! What do you think you're doing?" Cried out Soun at the unwarranted attack on a small child by his friend.

"Jusenkyo!!! Here I come!" Genma leaned forward and the staff moved straight for the compound wall. A smash and a martial artist shaped hole marked his passing.

"You **FOOL!**" The boy screamed as he emerged from the koi pond, dripping wet and angered beyond words. "You can't control the power of the Kinjakan!" He threw down his bath items and wings emerged from his back. He flapped his white feathery wings and flew into the air to strike back at the fat man.

Genma was fighting with the Kinjakan, trying to learn how to steer it and slowly got the hang of it. In moments, he understood how to shift his girth to change course and grinned at his good fortune. "Soon, I'll be in China and I can get rid of this curse that my worthless son gave me. Maybe I'll even get some of the water to settle a few debts. HA HA HA!!" Thoughts of bottling Jusenkyo water and selling it to the highest bidder filled his feeble little mind. "I wonder how you sell stuff on eBay?"

"Get back here you infidel!" The regal looking boy flapped harder, but he was no match for the speed of the Kinjakan. "I will see to it personally that you're punished for this. Huff, huff..." He gasped and developed a cramp in his wing from exceeding his physical limits. "Argh!" He fell from the sky and smashed into the top of a tall pine and held on as the tree swung back and forth from the impact.

Mr. Saotome was having the time of his life. He was hundreds of meters off the ground on a magical flying staff. A device that would fetch a King's ransom once he accomplished his mission. He tilted the staff upwards and flew west, toward China. The idiot was completely oblivious to just how much trouble he had just put himself in.

Clutching the tree top, a boy that went by the name of Lord Saffron glowed in anger. "I'll make sure you suffer for this outrage."

Back at the Tendo residence, Kasumi shook her head sadly. "Father, what are you going to do about this?"

In classic elegance, that only the patriarch of the Tendo clan can accomplish, he fell to his knees and cried like a little girl.

* * *

Minako Aino stood tall in her P.E. uniform. She gently knocked on the door of the coach's office and clasped her hands behind her back while she patiently waited for the door to open. She tapped her foot. She sweated a drop of water on her forehead. Screaming, she pummeled the door with two fists, almost shattering the frosted glass that separated her from the man who could save her team from utter embarrassment. **"COACH!!! OPEN UP!!!"**

"Hey! Quit it!" Came the exasperated voice from behind the door. "Could you give me ten seconds before you try to break my door down?" The coach's silhouette appeared behind the door's window. "What now?"

He unlocked the door and a frazzled goddess of love pushed her way in. "Coach, can you call Yuuki or Mariko and get them in here?"

"I would if I could." The coach let go of the doorknob and turned to face his star player. "Yuuki's recovering and Mariko's out of town."

The blond thought for a moment. Could Sailor Saturn stop by and visit Yuuki? She growled in frustration. "Grrr..."

The tall dark haired man may have been a little slow on figuring out things, but it didn't take him long to put two and two together. "Who else is sick? Don't tell me Akane's out?"

"No, she's fine. She's down at the gym, practicing with the rest of the team."

Giving a sigh of relief, the middle-aged teacher walked back to his desk, sat in his chair, put his feet up and played with a foam volleyball. "So, what's the emergency? With you, Akane and Ranko playing, it doesn't matter who else is on the team. You three can take care of just about anyone."

"Do you remember who we're playing against on Monday night?"

"Sure do. They've been wanting a rematch since that last gaming disaster."

"And who do they want to play against, hmm?" Minako crossed her arms, and emphasized her humming.

"Ranko of course. Their star player seems to have it in for her." He caught the toy he was tossing and held it tight. "Don't tell me."

Minako turned her head to the side. "Ranko's missing. Cancel the game."

"Once, maybe, but not twice. We nearly went broke giving out refunds the last time."

The young blond leaned forward and placed her hands on the table. She shoved her face across the desk to get her point across. "Coach, the only two members of our team who've ever played Martial Arts Volleyball are Ranko and Akane. With those two, we can win, but if one's missing, we're pancakes!"

Leaning back in his chair, to avoid the girl's battle aura, he nearly lost his balance and grabbed the nearest thing he could to keep from falling: Namely, Minako. Surprised by the extra weight on her shoulders, she tumbled forward and both of them hit the floor. Groaning, the teacher corrected his student. "It's toast, not pancakes."

WHAM! Minako belted her teacher away from her since they were in a compromising position. "Pervert!" She got up and dusted herself off. "Call St. Hebereke's and cancel the game."

Rubbing his arm to soothe the pain from being punched, he picked himself and his chair off the floor. "You know I can't do that."

"And why not?"

"Remember the last game we tried to have? The one where that little freak showed up and ruined the gym?"

The girl shuddered. But then, the mere thought of Happosai would make any sane woman tremble in fear.

"Well that little event cost us millions of yen in damages. Kodachi's brother was gracious enough to pay for the repairs on one condition. Kodachi made it very clear she wanted a rematch."

"You've GOT to be kidding me?" Minako shouted. The players in the gym halted their practice to cover their ears. "K-Kuno? Brother? As in Tatewaki?"

"Yeah, that's her brother's name"."

"You mean that lunatic who was on TV yesterday? You made a deal like that with those people? What's wrong with you?"

The coach shot back. "Do you know how long it would have taken to get the school board to fund the reconstruction? It's bad enough that we're paying a fortune in insurance premiums because of youma attacks. The lousy insurance company doesn't want to pay because we didn't have a rider for crazed martial artists. So, it's either play this game, with Ranko, or we can say goodbye to our athletic program when they repossess the gymnasium."

"Oh, Ranko." Minako groaned.

"So, as captain of the team, you go find your teammate and get her butt over here or else." He was red with anger. "And don't you dare ask what I mean by 'or else'. You're not going to like it."

A moment later, a door was slammed behind the blond volleyball team captain. She twitched as the loud bang was heard and then she held her head low. As she walked slowly to the gym, she tried to think of excuses. "Maybe I could transform into Sailor V and pretend there was a Youma attack. I could call in a bomb threat. Maybe I could get hit by a truck? Nah, I wouldn't be so lucky."

HONK!!!! A truck was barreling down the street that the girl had absent-mindedly walked into. Her honed Senshi training allowed her to jump out of the way, back onto the safety of the sidewalk. She watched the truck speed off and then jumped up and down in fury. "I could've had a perfect excuse! ARGH!"

Akane and the other volleyball team members spilled out of the gym and ran down the path to the front of the school. There they found their leader rapidly kicking the base of an innocent tree, showering the area with leaves, twigs and the occasional squirrel. Usagi, feeling genuine compassion for her angry friend, ran forward, slipped on some loose twigs and planted her face into the ground. "Ouchie."

Minako saw Usagi's antics and it made her even angrier. She started to punch the tree. "We... Are... Going... To... Suck..."

"What's going on?" Asked Akane, while staying just out of arm's reach of the Senshi of Venus.

She stopped beating the tree, only to watch it collapse from all of the abuse by snapping in two. She shook her open hands to dislodge the bark particles and glared at Akane. "Where's Ranko?"

"Ranko? That idiot's off to who knows where and she won't answer her phone. What's wrong? Tell me."

Minako smiled a feral grin. "I'll tell you. And after that, you find her and you get her here by tonight or I'll personally introduce her to Artemis. And you know how much she likes cats... Heh, heh, heh..." She rubbed her hands together while entertaining dark twisted thoughts involving felines, sulphuric acid and a bulldozer.

The team shook in terror. Minako wasn't showing any signs that she was kidding.

* * *

Amid the hustle and bustle that was the Narita International Airport, a taxi screeched to a halt at curbside. The driver called out. "International terminal, departure gate." He pointed to his fare meter. "Who's buyin'?"

Ryoga sat dumbfounded. "Pay? I knew there had to be a catch."

Mousse extracted the proper amount of money and handed it to the driver. "You've never taken a taxi before?"

"Why?" Ryoga crossed his arms in indignation. "I get around fine without 'em."

"Let's go." Mousse opened the door and exited the right side of the cab, straight into traffic.

"The blind, leading the lost." Ranko muttered. She opened the left door and stopped Ryoga from joining Mousse's attempt at real-life Frogger by yanking him toward the door nearest the sidewalk.

The near-sighted martial artist felt strong gusts of wind as large vehicles whizzed by within centimeters. "Strange, they're using really big luggage carts."

The taxi driver tossed out Ryoga's backpack with great effort onto the sidewalk and hopped back into his car. He sped off in search of another fare, leaving Mousse standing alone in the road amid honking trucks and taxis. Ranko ran over, grabbed him by the arm and tossed him onto the sidewalk. "Are you deaf too? Yikes!" She somersaulted into the air to avoid getting hit from a speeding sedan.

Ryoga put his backpack back on and scanned the crowd for any signs of where he should be going. "Hmm." He spoke softly, "have I been here before?"

Ranko, after landing next to him, grabbed his shirt sleeve to keep him from wandering away, replied. "Is there any place you hadn't been to?"

"Uh..." He laughed and scratched behind his head. "Let me think about that."

"How'd I let them talk me into this?" Ranko rolled her eyes to the sky for a moment. There were too many witnesses, so she couldn't just beat these two into unconsciousness, then transform, then teleport their sorry butts to Jusenkyo. Even if she did teleport them, they'd ask too many questions and they'd probably get lost even if she left a trail of bread crumbs and erected a neon sign that said "Spring of Drowned Man, jump here." No, she was cursed to lead these two to the magical springs if she wanted to clear her conscience of being to blame or partially to blame for their curses.

Mousse happily exclaimed. "The next flight leaves in two hours."

"How'd ya know that?" Asked Ranko, suspicious that Mousse might have been reading the wrong flight information and was taking them to Moscow. She breathed a sigh of relief at seeing he was actually wearing his glasses while spying a monitor for outgoing flights.

"China Airlines has a flight to Bejing. Once we get there, we take a connection to the airport near Jusenkyo."

Ryoga was even more dumbfounded than before, maybe because in the matters of travel, he was just dumb. "There's an airport near Jusenkyo?"

"Well, it's not really that close. We'll still have to travel two hundred kilometers. But it beats walking all the way from the capital." With that, he led the trio into the terminal building and toward the ticket counter. Ranko kept an eye out for misdirections, Ryoga's attempts at going the wrong way, or another fiancee.

A pretty attendant smiled at the myopic man. "Yes, Sir. How may I help you?"

"I need three tickets to Beijing please." Mousse fumbled around looking for his cash.

"Excellent, Sirs. May I please see your travel documents?" She held out her hand expectantly. "Do you have any baggage to check in?"

Mousse produced his Chinese passport and handed it to the woman behind the counter. "Okay, guys. Give her your passports."

Ryoga and Ranko shot a glance at each other and asked in total befuddlement. "Passports?"

"Oh, oh..." Mousse softly spoke as his plan began to unravel before it had even begun. "What do you mean, passports? How did you two get to China?"

Ranko answered. "I swam."

Ryoga held his fingers together and tapped them nervously. "I don't really know."

Now it was Mousse's turn to get upset. "You mean to tell me that neither of you has a passport?"

Ranko shot back. "Why would I need one? It's not like I could ever afford anything. My pop's always had us hitch a ride or somethin'."

The lost one kept tapping his index fingers together. "What's a passport for, anyways?"

The attendant became impatient. "Sirs, I require your travel documents before I can book your flight. Sir, Miss, if you've misplaced your papers you need to go home and retrieve them or contact your government office and have new ones issued. You cannot travel to China without proper passports and visas."

"Visa?" Ryoga brightened up. "I've got one of those." He took off his massive backpack and rummaged around for it.

Mousse felt a bit better. "Now we're getting somewhere. You don't happen to have a visa as well, Saotome?"

Ranko watched Ryoga expectantly. "As if."

Ryoga produced a small plastic card with the word "Visa" written on it. "Here it is. Is this what you're looking for?"

The ticket lady looked at the card and nodded. "Yes, we take Visa as a form of payment. But I still need to see your passport."

"But you said I needed a visa." Ryoga looked down at the credit card his wife gave him.

Mousse wanted to cry, scream and curse at the gods who were messing with his head. "No! She meant a tourist visa, you idiot! You get one of those when you go to the Chinese consulate. Argh! You've both been to China and you don't have any passports! What're we going to do now?"

Ranko had a plan, but it required a beating, a mini-skirt and blowing her cover. She liked the part about the beating, but the other parts she could do without. She declined to mention it. She came up with another plan, one based on a more favored method of travel her father preferred. "I've got an idea."

Mousse retrieved his passport from the attendant. "Now I'm scared."

* * *

Mrs. Saotome entered the apartment with two small bags of groceries, one in each arm. Her children had healthy appetites and required frequent trips to the store to keep the kitchen from emptying out of foodstuffs. She placed the plastic bags filled with the ingredients for tonight's meal on the tiny kitchen table and in response, the phone rang. She took a moment to rest, straighten her hair and picked up the receiver to answer the phone in a cheery voice. "Saotome residence."

Akane was at a pay phone in the courtyard of Juuban High School with Minako standing next to her. The blond was sweating profusely from nervousness and rambled on, waving her hands in frustration. "I could say that we got sick. No, they'd want a doctor's note. I know, a youma attacked Ranko. No, Usagi would want to strike back and that would only make it worse. Maybe the school bus got lost. No, this is a home game."

As Miss Aino went on creating excuses to cancel the game, Akane asked her mother the question that was on everyone's mind at the moment. Where's Ranko? "Mother, has Ranko stopped by the apartment?"

"Ranko?" She paused. "No, Dear, why would she stop by? Isn't she at school with you?"

"No, Mother, she's not here." She sighed at the disappointing news. She spied a glimpse at her volleyball captain as she held her arms close to her chest and her head tilted back, as if the clouds above had the answer she sought. The girl continued to babble with no one around listening to her disjointed sentences about meteor strikes or nuclear war. Akane cupped her hand on the phone to block out the extra noise. "Well, she met up with Ryoga and Mousse, you remember them, and went somewhere." Akane tapped Makoto on the upper arm to get her attention. "Mako-chan, did you hear where exactly did Ranko say she was going?"

Makoto was consoling her Senshi teammate from her own blubbering. She bit her lip as she recalled those few minutes of that odd encounter with the white robed man and the boy who kept trying to attack Ranko. "It was some weird sounding place." She sucked on her lower lip for a moment, then remembered. "Jusenkyo, I think."

"Are you sure?" Akane screamed out, almost shattering the windows nearby. "She's going to China?! Why that idiot! Why did she go and do that for?"

"The guy in the white robes was saying something about being a real man and it got her really mad. Wait a minute, you don't suppose?"

Akane got pale. After everything they had been though, her husband would still let insults to her manhood get the better of her. She had to find her quick before she did something monumentally stupid. She spoke into the phone again. "Mom, are you sure that Ranko didn't come home? Maybe to get her backpack or camping stuff?"

Nodoka twiddled with the phone cord, wondering what sort of trouble her child had gotten herself into this time. "Give me a moment and I'll check." She hurried over to the tiny closet and slid the door open. Instantly, a wall of clothes, bokkens and other assorted items fell out, narrowly missing the Saotome matriarch. Sitting among the pile were two backpacks, one belonging to Akane, the other belonging to Ranma. She tip toed over the pile of clothes, back to the kitchen. "No, she hasn't been home. Her backpack is still here."

"Thank you, Mother." Akane hung up the phone and found herself shoved against a cold stone wall by an extremely psychotic blond.

The madwoman's eyes were unnaturally wide open and she howled her words to alert the planet of her displeasure. "She's not there?!? Akane, you go find her and bring her back, you hear! If you don't, there will be hell to pay!" Minako curled up into a ball and mumbled to herself about the odds of the sun going supernova in the next six hours.

Makoto whispered. "It's the end of the world."

Usagi, who had been quiet all this time, gasped at Makoto's statement. "W-what do you mean, Mako-chan?"

The tall girl answered. "Mina-chan didn't screw up a proverb."

The moon princess took a step back in fright. "It really is the end of the world."

"Oh, please." Akane shook her head at Minako's mindless chatter. "If Mousse is taking her to China, it'll be over his dead body." She nodded her head with an idea. "I know just where to start looking. See you!" With that, she ran off to the locker room to change into street clothes.

* * *

In the northern part of Tokyo, a patron stopped at a small ramen shop to get his lunch, only to find the front door locked. The Cat Cafe's windows were shut and a small "Closed" sign hung slightly lopsided on the doorknob. He shrugged and went on his way, leaving a girl in an okonomiyaki seller's outfit alone to fume. She wasn't going to let this barricade stop her from getting some answers. The young woman reached over her shoulder and unhooked her giant spatula. She held it ready in one hand to deliver some strikes on the residents if they didn't explain things to her satisfaction. She knocked on the door with a little more force than a simple greeting would require.

The wind picked up and a few scraps of paper fluttered by while Ukyou made a mental inventory of the condition of her competition's place of business. Curtains drawn, menus missing, closed sign displayed and no irritating bicycle riding Chinese bimbo were all clues that no one was home. The chef peered into the window, trying to see if she could spot someone inside. Thoughts of Cologne and Shampoo cooking up some new concoction danced in her head and darkened her imagination. Angry, she rapped on the door with the business end of her weapon and with almost enough force to break it down. "Hey! I know you're in there. I need to talk to you. NOW!"

Only silence answered as she waited for a few minutes before taking a new tack. She was about to kick in the front door when she remembered there was an entrance in the back. Not wanting to be accused of imitating one of Shampoo's worst habits, she holstered her weapon and casually walked down the side alley to the back of the building.

There Ukyou bumped into an old friend. "Akane?"

Akane was gasping for air from her cross-town run and held her arm out against the back wall of the Cat Cafe for support. She replied. "Ukyou, what're you doing here?"

"I was goin' to ask you the same thing, Sugar." She noted that the back screen door was closed but appeared to be free of dust. It was a good sign that someone was home. "What're you doin' here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

Suspicious, Akane shot back. "I've..." Gasping, she continued. "I've got to see Mousse. Why aren't you in school?"

"I've got to talk to Cologne. What do you wanna talk to Mousse for?"

Akane took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then exhaled while speaking so she could talk normally. "Ranma's late for volleyball practice and I'm here to get him."

Ukyou blinked. "Huh? He's in Nerima to play volleyball? With Mousse? When did they start playing?"

"She." Akane spoke a little louder on the pronoun, then regained control of her breathing. "She's been playing with the Juuban team for weeks now. We've got a big game coming up."

"And what's this got to do with Duck Boy here?" Ukyou pointed her spatula at the restaurant for a moment.

"Mousse conned Ranma into something." Akane went to the back door to open it.

"Wait just a sec' Sugar. I got here first."

"So? After I pull Ranma out of here, I'm going home. You can talk to Cologne all you want."

"I'm asking the questions first." Ukyou gave a cold stare.

Akane stared back. "I'm getting my husband first."

Ukyou winced at the word 'Husband'. "Not before I get some answers!"

"I'm talking to them first!"

Ukyou glowed. "I'm talking to them!"

Akane summoned a mallet. "NO! ME!"

Ukyou summoned a bigger mallet. "NO! ME!"

Akane's mallet stretched into a much larger size. "BACK OFF!"

Ukyou's mallet grew even larger. "MAKE ME!"

In the doorway, attracted by the angry shouts of two girls arguing, Shampoo's father stood, silently watching the display. He became cold as he recognized the pair as the two who were directly responsible for his daughter's disgrace. He smiled at the sight of them preparing for a duel to the death. If they killed each other, then there was hope for his little girl after all.

Akane's mallet was at forty kilos and rising. She struggled to maintain her grip on it as it was still expanding. "IF YOU INSIST!"

Ukyou's mallet shifted in shape into a wooden battle spatula. She raised it above her shoulder to deliver a swing. "OH, I INSIST!"

Ukyou and Akane faced each other in righteous fury. They needed answers and they needed them now. They growled, one holding a wooden battle spatula, the other holding a mallet. Lightning sparked from their eyes and met in the middle, making a small light show that frightened Mr. Xian.

Akane, not taking her eyes off of Ukyou, spoke loudly in the elder's direction. "Mousse took Ranma to Jusenkyo. How do I get there?"

Ukyou, mirroring Akane's gaze, tone and stance, asked a similar question. "Where'd Kiima take Konatsu?"

Shampoo's father stood back, dismayed that they declared a truce instead of cutting each other to ribbons. He shouted back, anger built up from everything that had gone wrong today. Despite his urge to tell the girls to jump into a cursed spring, he answered their questions. All Amazon males were taught to obey the females without hesitation. "You, Violent Girl, that dishonorable boy took the store's money to go after my daughter in China. I hope you make him suffer."

Ukyou frowned at not hearing her answer first. She glared daggers of ice from her cold gaze at the middle aged man.

Mr. Xain continued, not wanting to spend any more time in their presence than necessary. "You, Spatula Girl, Kiima's a soldier of Phoenix Mountain. If you want to know anything more, you'll have to see her yourself. Now, if I may take my leave of you, I have to find someone to help me run this store."

Akane's anger subsided and her mallet shrank in response. Incredulous at the accusation, she recalled all of the things Mousse had done and it made sense that he could have resorted to crime. Mousse had stooped to some very underhanded tactics to win over Shampoo and thievery was something he was capable of. "Mousse robbed you?"

"That's what I said. What? You no listen?" He spoke from behind the screen door, hoping that if they attacked, it would offer him some thin measure of protection. "He took over six hundred thousand yen; all money in the register and the safe. He will have to answer for his crimes."

Akane's eyebrow twitched. "Give me the directions to the springs."

Ukyou interrupted. "Where's this Phoenix Mountain?"

He shook his head in frustration. "One at a time! Spatula Girl, Phoenix Mountain is one hundred kilometers from my village in China. You will find it beyond Jusendo Falls." He wanted to continue the sentence with a warning, but the fact that the Phoenix Mountain people didn't like humans visiting them and usually killed them on sight, pleased him. If she went there and had a tragic accident, it would solve one of Shampoo's problems.

Ukyou's spatula mallet shimmered and vanished. "Where's this village of yours. I need a map so I can get to this Phoenix Mountain."

Akane instinctively shouldered her mallet, not noticing that the weapon shouldn't even exist. She repeated herself to get her own answers. "I need a map to Jusenkyo." She growled. "Now."

"Give me a moment. I'll be right back." Mr. Xian left the back door and went into the room he shared with Mousse. He looked at Mousse's things in disgust, hating the boy even more. He agreed with his daughter's assessment that the hidden weapons master was an unfit suitor and his actions in courting her only strengthened his resolve to make sure that the boy never became Shampoo's husband. The man sat at a small desk and proceeded to draw a map of the area around his village when a idea sprung into his mind. Acting on it, he crumpled up the paper and with a new sheet of paper, drew a new map with a few minor changes. Satisfied with the results, he went back to deliver on his promise.

Ukyou stood, arms crossed and very impatient. "Took you long enough."

He unlocked and opened the door to see the two walking corpses one last time. He held out the map for Ukyou to take, but Akane snatched it. "You are Violent Girl. Follow the trail to Jusendo. There you'll find Jusenkyo beyond the ridge at the base of Mount Phoenix."

Ukyou studied the map over Akane's shoulder. Seeing the little drawing of a mountain marked Mount Phoenix with the Jusenkyo springs at its base, but no other landmarks like the location of Kiima's home, she asked. "Where is Kiima's village?"

"There is a trail clearly marked at the bottom of the mountain. Follow it to the summit and there you'll find who you seek." Mr. Xian silently added, "if you live that long."

"Thank you." Akane bowed. "You've been most helpful."

Ukyou bowed as well. "Thank you for the map. Oh, and you may want to post want ads around Furinkan High School. There's some students there that could use a part time job."

They were being helpful and polite? Mr. Xian was confused. All of the stories he had heard about Ranma's fiancees were that they were the spawn of demons and devils. His encounter at first only reinforced that belief, but now, he was beginning to have his doubts.

Ukyou secretly hoped that Sailor Io would make an appearance and just beam them there. Thinking that was the best way to travel, she held Akane's hand and tugged her away from Mr. Xian's hearing range. "So, Akane. Got a ride to China? Can you teleport?"

"No, I can't. Ranma was the only one who could do that."

"What about the others? Maybe we could hitch a ride with them?"

Akane debated about it. She thought about calling Usagi and the others to do a Sailor Teleport, but the risk of exposing who they were to Ukyou was too great. Ukyou knew who Akane and Ranma were as Sailors, but not the rest, and they'd already missed too much school as it was. No, this was going to have to be her job and hers alone. Besides, Ranma's just in China, so how much trouble could there be? "No, not really."

Ukyou pondered her options. "Hey, do you have travel papers to China?"

The Tendo shrugged. "Yeah."

"Well, Sugar. Today's your lucky day. Follow me." Ukyou ran off to the street and raised her hand in the air. "Taxi!"

* * *

"It's a good thing that we made this flight." Ukyou shoved her backpack into the overhead compartment. "And I'm glad I was able to check my stuff in as baggage."

Akane buckled her seat belt. "Yeah, and to think that they had a last minute cancellation. This flight looks like it's completely booked." She glanced at their seats and noticed that there were three instead of two. "Looks like we've got a little extra space."

Ukyou took a moment to sit in her seat and buckle up. A thought crossed her mind. "Hey, I've got to ask. Why did you have your passport in your school bag?"

Akane couldn't stifle a giggle. "When you've been kidnapped and flown to China with no notice, you learn to be prepared for anything."

Ukyou nodded. "This was that Prince Kirin thing wasn't it?"

The former Tendo laughed. "Yeah, that and when Kuno stranded us on Prince Toma's island. Remember all the hassle we got from Immigration when we got back to Japan?"

"How could I forget? Nabiki was shameless in that dress of hers. She just did a twirl and walked right past the drooling officers."

Akane brought back the memory of her sister Nabiki wearing the very revealing outfit she got while she was also kidnapped with the rest of the girls to be a bride of the pint-sized Prince Toma. She, strutting her stuff and enjoying every minute of it brought a real smile on the short haired girl's face. "She knows how to get what she wants, doesn't she? Anyways, after that, I got my passport and keep it handy. Looks like it paid off."

The interior of the plane darkened as the pilot prepared for take off. "So Ranchan's got his passport too?"

Akane rolled her eyes. "No, the dummy doesn't even understand what a passport is." She paused for a moment. "With his ability to teleport, I don't think he really needs one."

Ukyou relaxed in her seat as the plane accelerated and lifted into the air. "I hope you're okay Ko-chan."

"Ranma, you idiot." Akane whispered with worry. "Don't do something stupid."

"Y'know, Akane. I can't shake the feeling that Ranchan's nearby."

Akane rested her head against the armrest and tried to block out Ukyou's pining for her husband. She too, felt the same inside and didn't understand why.

Down below, inside of a wheel well in the undercarriage of the plane, were a red-haired girl, a duck and a pig. The girl held onto a metal strut for support and pressed her small body into a narrow cavity. The wind threatened to suck the trio out but they tightened their grip until the plane was in the air, the gear retracted and the outer door was sealed shut.

"Bwee?" Asked the pig.

"Yep," Ranko answered. "This was how pops and I got back to Japan."

"Quack?" The duck was curious about something.

"Pops? He was in another wheel well. I've got no idea how he fit his fat butt in one of these things." She looked around the dark cold chamber that was going to be her home for the next few hours. "But then, pops was always full of surprises. Too bad he's not coming, he'd love a chance to get a cure." Ranko happily spawned an idea. "Maybe I can ship a barrel of Nannichuan home to him."

* * *

Was it daylight out? Shampoo had no idea. Her cell was a deep pit, dug into the earth with a straw lid six meters above covering the opening and blocking out almost all of the light. The little cat could see somewhat in the darkness but that gave her little comfort. She licked herself to clean her fur. They may have taken her freedom, but they didn't take away her self-respect.

A half-eaten rat sat a meter away from the purple feline. A symbol of how low her own people felt she had fallen. She wasn't worthy of human food anymore. She was nothing more than an animal to them. A beast, only fit for a pet or perhaps the slaughterhouse.

She placed her paws forward and laid her body down in sorrow. They didn't tell her what crimes she was imprisoned for, but she had a good idea.

The first time she had ever left her village to go out into the world beyond, was to pursue a red-haired girl and fulfill her promise to kill her. By strict Amazon tradition, she gave and fully intended to make good on the kiss of death; the promise to hunt down her prey to the ends of the Earth and slay her.

Fate had decided to play a dirty trick on her. She found that her target wasn't a girl at all, but a Jusenkyo cursed man. Her law was clear on that subject as well. If defeated by an outsider male; she became honor bound to bring him into the tribe.

He not only had defeated her once, but by her own foolishness, he defeated her again in the defense of Akane. What could she do? She saw him as the perfect male yet he was also the woman she had to destroy. She had no choice but to run home and beg the elders for guidance.

It was at that dreaded council meeting that her future was set. As punishment for not ending the life of Ranma Saotome, she was to train at Jusenkyo and accept whatever punishment the springs deemed fit to doom her with.

The little kitty wanted to cry, but cats didn't have tear ducts. It didn't help lessen her pain as she found that her new form all but guaranteed that her Airen would never choose her. He loathed cats and she became one with just a small amount of cold water. In the darkness, she sighed at the sight of her purple and white paws. These were once the hands of a warrior, one of the best. A champion among champions only to be humiliated by a boy and his stupid father.

Shampoo closed her eyes to push away the sight of the cursed body that the man she loved could never tolerate. She hated herself. She had only one thought, something she couldn't say in her feline body, but wished with all of her heart would come true. "Please kill me, I deserve nothing less."

* * *

The lone warrior leaned against her walking stick. Weary from battle, she made her painful way forward, away from the battlefield to what she hoped was a safe haven. The terrain was unfamiliar and it scared her deep inside. She paused her journey for a moment to rest. Holding the bamboo pole tight, she shifted her weight onto it to give her legs a much needed rest.

Her ninja garb was on its last legs. She watched helplessly as the last thread holding the large patch on her knee of her loose cotton pants gave out and the square piece of cloth fell off and landed silently on the dirt path below. She wanted to bend down to pick up the patch, in the hopes that soon she'd have an opportunity to sew it back on. But that would have required her to bend over, and that was an action she wasn't capable of performing at the moment without aggravating the wounds on her back.

The girl was a sorry sight. Blood stains covered her tattered kunoichi outfit, her sword was lost, and she herself looked liked she had been dragged by a rope from the back of a train for five kilometers. Her once beautiful hair was burnt and matted with dried mud. Only her face had survived the ordeal intact sans makeup. She would have to apply some once she was able to make it to a town and beg for some from the local townsfolk.

Looking ahead at the horizon, she saw the path she was on continued for a kilometer and disappeared over the top of a small hill. At that peak, there was a primitive looking hut. With renewed vigor, she stepped forward nearly tumbling to the ground as her walking stick refused to move for an instant before she was able to yank it out of the soft earth. A hut meant people. People meant civilization. Civilization meant sanctuary.

Glancing back at the sky, it appeared that her way was clear. The kunoichi took another painful step, then another. Using the bamboo pole as a third leg, she kept up her slow pace, moving ever so slowly ahead. Using the image of the hut as a attainable goal, she sallied forth. Her warrior's heart told her that her very survival hinged on getting to that hut before her enemies found her and finished the job they had failed to do.

Her mission was everything to her. She had to make this work. Failure was never part of her vocabulary and she had no intention of learning the meaning of that word today, or ever. She rubbed her brown eyes as a slight gust blew dust into her face, but she refused to slow down.

Only five hundred meters kept her from a meal and a bed. She felt dizzy as her body had begun to give out from over exertion. Through sheer will alone, she coaxed her leg muscles to keep moving, each step taking more and more effort feeling like she was waist deep in a winter snow and forcing forward movement into a snowbank that was chest high.

Her vision became blurred. She wasn't exactly sure if she was still going in the right direction but she still moved on. She couldn't let them get her. Not now, not when she was so close to salvation. She thought she heard something. It was... It was...

"Halt! Who goes there?" Cried out an amazon sentry. She held a bo staff ready. The teenaged orange haired girl, wearing a light green Chinese pantsuit, walked slowly to the fallen girl. She called out to her companion back in the hut. "Get over here!"

Another sentry approached. She was in her forties but she looked far younger than her true age. Her golden locks fell below her waist and her emerald eyes had a look of wisdom that was far older than she was. "Who is she? She's not from here."

The young Amazon poked the ninja garbed woman and got no response. She touched her backside in several places, softly at first, then with some force to pinch. She retracted her staff and placed her fingertips on the girl's neck to check for a pulse. "She's alive. Barely. What should we do?"

The elder weighed her options for a moment. "She's a warrior. No doubt about that. We'll take her to the village. The elders will decide her fate."

The young warrior nodded in reply and lifted the semiconscious girl over her shoulder and carried her away.

It was dusk when the girl reached the border of the village with her heavy load. The amazon's years of training had paid off as she easily held her burden all the way up to the healer's hut. There she placed the black haired girl on a soft mattress.

Potion came out from behind the curtain that separated the front receiving area from her living quarters. She made a quick glance at her new patient. "Who's this?"

Bending down on one knee and bowing in respect, the warrior answered. "I don't know. She arrived at the west guard post in this condition."

The short old woman coughed. The kunoichi's odor was filling the room with an unclean stench. "I'll need you help me remove her garments and wash her down." She held her nose and lifted up a piece of fabric from the girl's sleeve. "I think we make have to burn these."

"As you wish." The orange haired girl bowed again. She went to a small cabinet by the entrance of the hut and extracted a small bucket and washing supplies.

Potion stood next to the low mattress and used her fingers to open the kunoichi's eyes. Getting a good look at the weak girl's face, she recognized that she was Japanese and not Chinese. Speaking in perfect Japanese, the healer asked. "And just who might you be, child?"

She weakly answered. "Kunoichi, Konatsu, lies before you..."

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and motivates me to put out chapters faster. You do want chapters faster don't you?

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 27th, 2007

* * *


	14. The Return

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 14: The Return

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or stick my face in a hot waffle iron.

* * *

Minako Aino was performing a great imitation of a woodchuck by chewing on her third pencil in the last ten minutes. Once the last of the wood had been reduced to sawdust, she reached into her school bag and found that she had run out of pencils. So, she reached around and pulled out a cheap plastic pen and began to gnaw on it. 

She watched the clock tick by. Each moment was spent coming up with new excuses as to why the volleyball game had to be postponed, cancelled or forfeited. She nervously shot glances to the empty seats in class where Ranko and Akane sat, hoping that they would just teleport in and with their presence, restored the natural order of things.

The bell rang, signaling lunch break. She bolted out the door and into the main courtyard right next to the tree the Senshi would usually hang out under to eat their lunch. A small breeze kicked in, knocked a few leaves off the tree and onto the blond. She brushed away the flora from her hair and waited impatiently for Makoto or Ami to arrive. Pacing back and forth, wearing a small trench in the ground, the goddess of love held her hands behind her back so she wouldn't start chewing on her fingernails again. An idea formed and as she was about to put her plan into motion by biting off her own fingers, Ami arrived.

"Mina-chan, what's the matter?" Ami innocently asked.

"Give me your communicator! NOW!" She screamed making Ami's face become ashen white from being terrified at Minako's outburst.

"M-m-my cell phone, y-you mean?" Ami stuttered, hoping that no one nearby would catch Minako's flub. "I think I have it." She backed away to avoid Minako as the blond closed in for the kill.

In a voice filled with sweetness and doom for anyone who stood in her way, Minako came within centimeters of her Senshi teammate and spoke. "Whatever. I need to make a call."

As Ami pulled up the sleeve of her school uniform to expose her wristband communicator, she asked timidly. "Where's yours?"

Minako grabbed the rubber wristband and pulled it to loosen it. She removed the device and popped it open. "I tried to use it and the teacher confiscated it. It seems that students can't use cell phones during class."

Ami answered matter-of-factly. "That's always been school policy. You can't study if you're distracted."

Did everything involve studying with her? Fumbling around with the object that looked like a compact, she press the latch and flipped up the lid. "What was Akane's number? Oh, yeah." Minako dialed and when she was about to press the last button, a large male hand took the device away from her.

Mr. Yashida was not a happy teacher. "Miss Aino! What did I tell you?"

Minako's world ended. Kill me now, her mind silently screamed. She watched helplessly as the teacher snapped the communicator shut and stuff it into his jacket pocket.

The tall dark haired teacher crossed his arms and awaited an answer. "Well, Miss Aino? Has your memory already failed you?"

"No, teacher." She meekly replied. "I'm not supposed to make calls in class."

"And what did I tell you?"

"That I can't make calls until after school."

"Good. You can reclaim both of your cell phones after school. Come see me in the teachers room to pick them up."

Ami gasped. "Teacher, that's my phone. May I please have it back?"

"You don't need it until after class either and I don't want you lending it to her until she learns to follow school rules." With that, he turned on his heel and walked away.

Minako fell on her knees, made a sob, then tilted sideways onto the soft grass. "I'm ruined."

Ami sat down next to her weeping friend. "Why do you need to call Akane? Isn't she here?"

"She's supposed to be back by now. I need both of them to show up for practice or the coach is going to kill me. If they're not here, I'm bacon."

Ami giggled. "Is that all? You know that if they came in the middle of the school day, they'd get detention. They're probably waiting until school ends before they show up. I'd guess that they're somewhere far away training. Don't you remember that they liked to teleport all over the world to practice."

"Heh, heh." Minako laughed, not really sure to believe Ami's rose colored view of the world.

Makoto sat down and opened a big basket of food. "Look what I made in cooking class."

Ami peered into the basket and found some sandwiches. "Oh, how thoughtful of you, Mako-chan." She pulled out a ham sandwich and took a bite. "Delicious."

Makoto felt good at the compliment but became concerned at Minako's twitching on the ground. "Mina-chan, are you sick?"

Minako sat up with an air of hope. "No, I'm fine." She thought about using a food poisoning defense, but that could backfire if she blamed it on Makoto's food. Akane wasn't around, so she couldn't use her cooking as an excuse either, or maybe she could. It didn't matter now since Makoto was here to save the day. "Mako-chan?"

"Yes?" Asked the Senshi of Jupiter.

"May I..." She looked up and saw her teacher standing by an open doorway, watching her. "Nevermind."

"You're welcome to anything in the basket. You'd better hurry before it's all gone."

Ami blinked and looked into the basket again. "There's more than enough food for all of us."

Usagi hopped by like a bunny on steroids. "Cool! Look at all the goodies!" With both hands, Usagi stuffed her face and ate like someone who had been on a deserted island for years and was given the chance to eat normal food again. "Mmm... Mmm..." She tried to say between mouthfuls of cookies and sandwiches.

Makoto turned to Ami with a smug look on her face. "You were saying?"

Watching her Princess gorge herself, Minako had only one thought. She'll claim she got food poisoning from Akane's cooking. It was the best idea yet and it didn't involve anything more drastic than a stomach pump.

* * *

The stewardess spoke over the plane's speaker system. "Please fasten your seatbelts, we'll be landing in Beijing shortly." 

Ukyou and Akane collectively sighed in relief that their trip was almost over. Ukyou looked out the window and saw nothing but clouds below. "Looks like we'll be in China soon." She unfolded her map and studied it for a moment. "Once we land, we've got to hop a bus to a city called Yushu. I wonder how far is that?"

Akane returned the sigh. "Far enough. I'd say it's going to take about a half day for us to get there and then another half day to get to Shampoo's village. Beijing's only the halfway mark for our trip."

The taller girl raised an eyebrow. "How come you know that, Sugar?"

The girl who took the role of Sailor Io tapped her index fingers nervously. "I, uh... Well, before all that stuff about the wedding and you know... I wanted to, well... Uh..."

"What's with you?"

Started at Ukyou's directness, Akane blurted out what was on her mind. "I wanted to help Ranma find a cure for his curse. I studied the geography of the Bayankala mountain range and how to get there. I wanted to make sure that he found his way." Akane sniffed at the memories. "I know how to get to the mountain range, but not to the springs. It's not like there's a map to the place and Ranma's father lost that brochure that had the exact directions."

"There was a brochure? For Jusenkyo?"

"Yeah, and Mr. Saotome hasn't been able to find it for months. Shampoo and Cologne were no help either. They wanted to take Ranma personally to the springs, and you know they weren't going to let him come back home."

"That's for sure. I wonder where it went." The chef fingered her empty bandolier. She felt naked without her weapons. All of her spatulas were stuffed into her suitcase that was in the cargo hold since they wouldn't allow her to carry anything that remotely looked like a weapon as a carry-on.

Akane wiped her eye to remove a drop of wetness. "Not like it matters anymore anyways. Our parents sent us to Juuban so Ranma could learn to be a teacher and then that... Hmm... The stuff that happened there... And..." She never had expected that her father's plans would change her life the way it had. Then again, nothing in her life was even close to normal once the pig-tailed boy arrived on her doorstep. "Ranma doesn't need a cure anymore."

Ukyou whispered. "Sailor Sun."

"Sailor Sun." Akane turned up the edges of her mouth in a small smile.

Ukyou's heart sank at how she lost the war for Ranma's love. She quietly added. "And you're Sailor Io." Akane stiffened at those words. Ukyou turned to look at Akane, pleading with her eyes for an answer. "Please tell me, just what happened between you two? You were gone for weeks and nobody knew where you went. It's like you vanished into thin air."

Akane turned away, not wanting to say anything to upset Ukyou further. "Nothing, nothing at all."

"That's a whole lot of nothing." She leaned back in her seat and kept her tears at bay. "Before you left, you couldn't stand the sight of him. When you came back, you married him, willingly."

"I did." She looked at her left hand to admire her simple gold band on her ring finger. Her father didn't have much money and Ranma couldn't afford anything more extravagant than a thin piece of copper wire. So her ring didn't have a diamond or any other precious stone but it wasn't the point of the ring to her. It was the symbol that Ranma was hers and hers alone.

Ukyou stared at the ring and wished that it was on her own finger. "Where did you two go? You were gone for a while."

Akane's tone was as cold as ice. "Hell."

"Hell?" Ukyou didn't like the way Akane said that word.

Akane dredged up the memories from the dark pits of her mind, things that she both wanted to remember forever and forget completely. Jadeite's world was barren and devoid of life. Kilometers of rocks, wasteland and craggy mountains were Ranma and Akane's home for months. The short haired girl recalled her adventures with both terror and hope.

It was a time when each day was filled with joy and fright. Every hour of every day she had to be on alert for armies of youma coming to kill both of them. Sailor Sun had spent every waking moment to train her and she trained her hard. Akane touched her upper arm with her right hand where she had been smashed against a rock by a creature that looked like a spider with spindly legs. Just before the youma was going to impale her with one of its appendages, Sailor Sun blasted it and snatched her away to safety. The Senshi yelled at her for hours about dropping her guard and being too clumsy.

Despite being at each other's throats for most of the time they were there, they both came to the realization that they couldn't bear the thought of a life without the other. Akane rested her head back against her seat, thinking only of her husband. "It was heaven too."

Seeing the look on Akane's face made Ukyou stop her line of questioning. It was a look of someone deeply in love. A look that both grated on the chef and made her envious. A noise came from the wings as the flaps lowered.

The captain came on the public addeess system. "We're on final approach. Flight attendants, please take your seats."

The two girls sat quietly as the plane descended. One was in a wistful bliss while the other in a sea of envy and despair. The taller girl looked at her reflection in the window and saw a face that was not her own. He had long luxurious black hair with flowers adorning it. She thought quietly to the female looking face that only she could see. "Ko-chan... Why does my life suck?"

The sound of the landing gear being deployed filled the cabin. Akane shifted in her seat as her martial arts senses alerted her to something strange. "Did you hear that?"

Ukyou too thought she heard something. "Did someone just scream?"

They listened for a moment and then looked at each other and shrugged. "Nah."

* * *

It was cold. It was noisy. It was populated by a frosted petite girl, a chilled duck and a half-frozen piglet. 

Ranko conserved her body heat as best she could, but even with her skills it was difficult from wanting to pass out from the lack of oxygen. Hours had passed while the red-head kept her vigil on the duck and pig hoping for an opening. Finally, after her long wait, the opportunity arrived.

She made a slight motion with her wrist and pulled from nowhere a small pen-like object. The shaft was made of brilliant gold and would appear to shimmer in flames if it was exposed to sunlight. It had a little red five pointed star at the tip with a symbol of a circle with a tiny dot in the center; a mark of the sun from ancient times. She tightly gripped her transformation pen and was about to utter 'Sun Star Power, Make Up!' when Mousse shifted and coughed.

Ranko gave a soft sigh as she willed her wand back into storage. Unless these two idiots were knocked utterly unconscious or conveniently out of sight, they would probably get a front row seat during her naked light show as she transformed into the Senshi of the Sun. Explaining the transformation, her uniform, or anything else Senshi related to her once enemies or best friends (depending on the time of day, phase of the moon or general mood of the people involved) was near the bottom of the list of things she wanted to do anytime in her life.

"Morning, Mousse," was all Ranko could say before another shiver overtook her body. She summoned her ki to build up some heat, but she was running out of energy from lack of a decent meal. It had been over eight hours since she had eaten breakfast with her mother back home. She regretted not taking some time to grab something to chow down on at the airport, but they were too busy sneaking around trying to avoid security so they could stow away on the aircraft they were uncomfortably riding in. It was bad enough hiding for two hours in a narrow drainage ditch along the runway, waiting for the plane to taxi by, but the mad dash had cost them dearly. Running after a jet going full throttle took all of her effort and she dropped Ryoga's backpack when she darted through the exhaust of one of the engines. At the time, this seemed to have been the best way to get to China that wasn't going to blow her cover. Now, she wished she had just stayed home and not gotten herself in this mess in the first place.

The duck nodded in reply to her morning greeting. He bit down on a metal protrusion for support and extended his wings to give them a test flap. His right wing had healed up after being smashed into the landing strut that he didn't see right in front of him. If his survival instinct hadn't kicked in and he didn't bite onto a loose wire, he would have been a duck pancake from falling onto the jet's tire. Mousse clung tightly to the wall and watched Ranko intently. Soon, very soon, he'll have her right where he wanted and Shampoo will finally be his. Ranko's, Ranma's, whatever's death would avenge Ryoga's lost backpack and honor, Ukyou would be partially repaid for her stolen okonomiyaki cart and Akane would be overjoyed to be rid of her pathetic husband. Yes, indeed, thought the duck, everyone would be much happier without Ranma around anymore.

P-chan twitched a bit and dreamed of being chased by rabid dogs. It was a happier dream than he usually had. Typically, his dream was for him to be tossed into a giant wok with a hungry panda and a fat Jusenkyo guard holding knifes, forks, chopsticks, meat cleavers and assorted sauces waiting patiently for dinner to be served. Sometimes he dreamed of other scenarios, but they all involved his slow painful flaming death at the hands of a chef preparing a meal that involved pork as the main ingredient. Instead, in this dreamscape, he was on top of a tree, taunting the hungry dogs who couldn't climb up and get him. He happily stuck his tongue out at the imaginary pack to further infuriate them.

"Hmm," Ranko stretched and relaxed her tense muscles from her cramped position. She took care not to fall from her place onto the retracted tire below her. Setting off some sort of alarm to alert the pilots that something was amiss was also not on her to-do list.

The little pig happily squeaked and squirmed in Ranko's hand, attracting the attention of the red-head. The pig stuck its tongue out and made a noise that almost sounded like a laugh. "So, P-chan, havin' a dream about sleepin' with Akane again?" For an instant, Ranko wanted to throw the pig to see how many times he would bounce around the room before he woke up. Wisely, she set aside the idea for now.

Mousse flapped his wings and made a soft quack.

"Looks like you're fine now." Ranko nodded. "Take my advice. Get better glasses..." Ranko went still as she noticed something; a change of the pitch in engine noise perhaps? "I think we're landing."

Several noises came from all over the aircraft as motors engaged to prepare the plane for landing. The door below opened with a loud whirring sound and a rush of cold air filled the tiny chamber. A cityscape whizzed by below at over two hundred kilometers per hour. Once the doors fully opened, the landing gear folded down and locked into landing position.

"Ride's over pals. Here's where we get off." Ranko held P-chan under her right arm and Mousse sat on her left shoulder. She straddled her feet on two aluminum bars and gripped an overhanging hydraulic cable with her free hand. She tensed up to lock herself in position so the raging torrent of air wouldn't suck her out before she was ready to disembark. She grimaced as her skirt flew all around. Thankfully, no one was in a position to enjoy the free show. "Ready, guys?"

The duck quacked again in a tone that meant he was ready, or at least as ready as he'll ever be. He contemplated with glee that if Ranko fell to her doom, he could just fly away with a clear conscience if he snatched P-Chan to safety before the girl went splat. He made an evil smile and hoped for the worst.

Ranko stared at the ground, carefully looking for landing spots and didn't pay attention to the pig's struggles. P-chan, in his dream, was now being chased by a rabid dog that had Akane's face and she had found out about his little secret and wanted to dine on ham. He squealed in fright and scratched Ranko's arm. In surprise, the girl let go of the cable and swatted the pig in return. "Hey, you little..." She wobbled a bit as she fought to keep balance in the high velocity wind.

P-chan, half-asleep, half-awake and all terrified, woke abruptly and saw that Ranko was holding him. In a reflexive action, he chomped down hard on Ranko's arm, trying to escape from her clutches.

Ranko shouted at the pig attached to her forearm. "Geez, what's with you?" She smashed the pig against the metal wall trying to stun him to keep him from digging his teeth deeper into her flesh. He let go and crawled over her shoulder and dug his hooves into her back causing her to slip some more. As she danced the pig induced Macarena, she twisted, turned, bowed and slipped off her perch. "Uhh... AAAAAHHH!" Ranko grabbed at anything she could to keep from falling, but managed to get a good grip on a very surprised duck. She fell face first out of the safety of the wheel well and into hurricane force rush of wind. She waved her arms for an instant, trying to fly and shook Mousse like a someone who was getting a spray can ready for use. The dizzy duck flapped furiously but wasn't strong enough to carry forty five kilos of girl and five kilos of pig aloft so they all plummeted straight down to Earth.

"AAAAHHHH", "Bwee", and "Quack", screamed the trio and they tumbled end over end. Too busy biting, pecking and strangling each other to attempt to control their descent. They luckily found something to break their fall. The cloth awning was the first thing that blocked their direct path to the pavement and they left a duck, girl and pig shaped hole in the canvas. They repeated the action of leaving their silhouettes in five other awnings until they left three neat impressions in a table at a fruit sellers storefront.

Watermelons went flying in every direction as the table shattered from the impact. Numerous pedestrians jumped for cover as a fruit flavored rain showered over everything, covering the street with a gooey mess. A few moments later, after the storm of sweetness had subsided, a red-haired girl popped up out of the wreckage wearing half a watermelon for a hat and looking very annoyed. The owner of the shop came out wearing a perplexed look on his face and angry that his precious fruit had been ruined again. He held his hands to his face and shrieked. "Why won't those airplanes stop dropping parts on my store!!! This is the second time this month!" He ran back into the shop, mumbling about putting the airport police on speed dial.

Ranko removed her wet sticky hat and blinked at the angry man as he ranted about something. She could make out a word or two, but not his entire tirade since he was rapidly shouting words in Chinese; a language she still didn't fully understand. Taking a moment to view her surroundings, she decided it was best to make herself and her companions scarce. She collected her woozy 'pets' and staggered out into the narrow street.

Beijing was a crowded city on par with the hustle and bustle of Tokyo on a busy day. People all over the city were on bicycles, micro taxis, rickshaws and motorcycles going in every direction. It only took a few moments for Ranko to put some distance between herself and the angry shopkeeper and get completely lost in the crowd. It reminded her of her travels with her father during those ten long years.

It didn't take much longer for the girl to see that people were staring at her as she walked past them. She paused and looked down at her clothes to see why. Her Juuban High School uniform was practically ruined and she had watermelon juice covering her from head to toe. Her skirt was torn up and a slit was made on the left side from the hem all the way up to her panties. Damn, why did I let mom talk me into wearing girl's underwear? Ranko thought. She held the duck up to eye level, ever so slightly tightening her grip on his long thin neck. "Well, Mousse, I think we need some clothes." She paused for a moment as her aroma assaulted her sense of smell. "And a nice hot bath for all of us, got any ideas?"

The myopic duck nodded in agreement and gestured for Ranko to let him go. "Quack! Quack!"

"Fine. But don't you get lost like Porky here." She held P-chan at the same level with her other hand, careful to hold him only by the bandanna around his neck. The pig growled in reply.

Mousse extended his wings. Ranko loosened her hand and he slipped free and flew off, soaring above the crowd and out of sight. Her sight followed him as he soared higher and into a cloud of steam coming from a twisted pipe and he disappeared.

Ranko sighed and looked at the angry pig. "I guess we're stuck here until he gets back." She glared at a man who had stopped to gawk at Ranko's odd attire. Snarling at the stranger with fire in her words she yelled. "Wadda you want?" Her ferocity did what her jumbled Japanese words couldn't do. The man ran off in terror down the street.

She looked around for a place to sit and found none. Not wanting to be idle she tried to read the dozens of signs that were adorning the shops that lined the crowded street. Symbols both familiar and foreign to her overwhelmed her senses. She could make out some words since the Kanji symbols shared the same meaning in Japanese as in Chinese but the usage and grammar eluded her. In frustration, she turned to P-Chan. "I don't suppose you can read Chinese, can you?" The pig shrugged, so she continued. "Didn't think so. We gotta find some hot water and quick."

P-Chan nodded in agreement. Then the thought of the problem of lack of clothing came to mind and the pig then shook his head in disagreement. He stared at a nearby sign and looked at a specific Chinese character written on it, trying to figure out just why it looked familiar to him. A wave of understanding washed over the porcine creature and he squealed with all his might and quivered.

Taking the signal, Ranko cradled the bug eyed pig in her arm and asked excitedly without waiting for an answer. "Does this place have hot water? I see this symbol and it means bath doesn't it?" P-Chan shook his head to say no, but Ranko wasn't looking. "'Bout time something good happened this trip." With that, a Chinese shirt fell from the sky and onto Ranko's head. "What the..."

She pulled the fabric off of her face only to see Mousse fly off. She looked at the shirt suspiciously. It was a simple pea green Mao style Chinese shirt that she wore from time to time back in Japan. "At least he knows what I like. Some pants, shoes and..." She glanced down to her skirt. "Underwear, and I'm all set."

"Bwee..." Said P-chan as he struggled to break free of Ranko's grasp with just a hint of terror.

"Calm down you idiot. Wanna attract attention to us?" She scolded Ryoga while pointing a finger at him. "Until we change back and get this stuff off of us, the cops will be able to find us and I'm not paying for food that I can't eat. Not like I've got any money anyhow." The pig swung forward and tried to snap at Ranko's finger. "Knock it off, will you?"

A pair of matching pants fell from the heavens along with a set of white boxers. She snatched up the clothes with glee. "Great! Now I can change back and not worry about it." Ryoga squealed again and increased his efforts to squirm away. She raised an eyebrow in surprise at Ryoga's impatience. "Don't worry, we'll get you some clothes too." She found a plastic grocery bag crumpled up on the sidewalk and gently placed her borrowed clothes within it. A few minutes go by and her bag grew pleasantly full.

Mousse landed on Ranko's shoulder and quacked that his job was done. She spun the bag to seal the top and agreed with her friend's assessment. "Okay, it looks like we've got enough for all of us." Clutching it as if holding the bag of clothes was just a bag of laundry, she proudly exclaimed. "I'm ready to change back to normal. Let's go in and get cleaned up. Mousse, you fly around back. I'll open a window and let you in."

The duck quacked in anger and hopped up and down.

"Look, I can say that bacon breath here is my pet pig. Akane got away with that excuse for years. But you're a bit harder to explain. Besides, you can fly and I can trust you to find your way around back." Ryoga snapped at Ranko at her remark. "It's true, pork butt." Ryoga turned away and made no further sound.

Mousse adjusted his glasses with his wings and sat silently as Ranko walked inside. She took a few steps into the establishment and immediately wanted to drool. It was a Chinese BBQ restaurant with giant slabs of meat roasting over a rotisserie behind a glass partition for all the guests to gaze upon in awe. She glanced around, looking for anyone who even remotely appeared to be able to speak Japanese as a back up plan in case the language barrier was too great. She went to the order counter and put on her cute girl act complete with doe eyes and an innocent looking face despite being covered with bits of apple and watermelon. "Sir?" She asked in a cute girlish voice. "Do you have a men's room?"

"What did she say?" Asked the short Chinese cashier behind the counter.

The busboy stopped and scratched his head, trying to parse out her words. "I think she said something about wanting to go to a room of men?"

"Isn't the brothel down the block?" Answered the chef as he slammed down his meat cleaver and lopped off the head of a small pig, much to Ryoga's horror.

"She can come to my room anytime." Leered the manager as he crept up to the counter and spied the fruit salad that adorned her hair. "She looks good enough to eat." He spotted the tiny black morsel wearing a yellow bandanna she held in her hand. "Do you want us to cook that for you? It'll be on the house."

Ranko listened carefully to the man's words. He said words that she recognized like "cook" and "on the house" since Shampoo said that a lot. What do you know? It's dinnertime! She batted her eyes in a cute girly way. "Gee, Mister, I could sure use a good meal and a hot bath right now." She smiled thinking she had it made. Free food, hot water and she's out of here.

The manager couldn't believe his good luck. The girl said that she wanted to take a bath or something to that effect. It didn't matter. She was a hot babe and after some good old fashioned Chinese hospitality, she'd be eating out of his hands. He grinned a lecherous smile and pointed to the back of the establishment. "My apartment is upstairs, in the back."

Ranko batted her eyes as utter non-comprehension took root. The manager pointed beyond the rows of tables and chairs to a narrow hallway that receded into darkness. "Hmm," she thought, "I guess that's where the men's room is. Sounds about right, they're always in the back." She smiled back at the man and made a small bow. "Thank you, sir."

The cashier couldn't believe what he just saw. "Man, is she for real? She's thanking him?"

The manager clasped his hands and expanded his grin in a way that would have made Happosai proud. "I can't believe my luck." He wandered off in search of some breath mints.

"You sure that's what she wants?" Asked the chef. "This sounds way too good to be true."

No sooner was the manager out of earshot, the clerk stated with the conviction of a man who knew something that everyone else didn't. "20 Yuan says she punches him in the head. Any takers?"

"I'll put 20 down that she runs screaming." Answered the chef.

The bus boy called out. "20 says that she kicks him between the legs."

The cashier wrote down the bets. "Anyone wanna wager that he gets lucky?"

The room went silent.

"Didn't think so." The cashier happily took more bets and amassed a large wagering pool. Someone other than the manager was going to get lucky.

* * *

He quivered in anticipation as he held the candle in his left hand and a lit match in the right. Slowly, he edged the match closer but like all the others, his own shaking hand extinguished the flame. He dropped the used match onto the pile of other used matches and sighed. 

Hikaru Gosenkugi wanted to curl up and die. But he couldn't. Not until he fulfilled his destiny and become the greatest sorcerer in the world. He fell to his knees in despair in the center of the clearing among the pine trees.

"Crud." He moaned as he saw that his knees disturbed the circle that he had drawn in the soft dirt. He put the candle down and opened the Demonomicon to the proper page. He studied the drawing of the circle of summoning and with his finger in the soil, made the correction to fix the arcane symbol on the ground. He checked again to make sure he didn't make any errors in the glyphs and he was satisfied that everything was in order.

He re-read the passage on the creature he was going to bring into this world. The demon would do his bidding as long as his glyphs were in place and once the task was complete, the creature would go back to hell. Hikaru made an evil laugh. That bully Saotome was going to finally pay for humiliating him for not allowing him to beat him up with his 'One Punch' battle armor and making Akane only want to date him tomorrow thanks to some magical paper dolls.

Sadly, even the paper doll spell had broken. Only a week before Ranma and Akane transferred to Juuban, Akane questioned why Hikaru would want to date her. The sorcerer wanna-be was convinced that Akane now hated him thanks to the breaking of the paper doll spell.

There were more ways to woo Akane to his side, thought the teenager. He was going to get rid of Saotome and she'll see how cool he was when she saw that he was in control of dark magics.

Was everything ready? Full moon? Check. Glyphs properly drawn? Check. Sacrifice ready? He opened a small picnic cooler and found the thawed whole chicken he had purchased at the grocery store. Check. Incantations memorized. "Klatuu, Barada, Nikto!" Check. Stuff he stole from mom. Check. Candles on his head? Drat.

He gently placed the book down on the ground and tried again to light his candle. He struck the match and held his breath, edging the flame closer to the wick. Just as the match was dying out, an ember glowed on the fiber and a tiny flame appeared. Hikaru closed his eyes in anticipation, hoping that the flame would take hold. He counted to three and jumped in glee at seeing that the candle had indeed taken the fire and burned brightly. "Yippee!!" He screamed and waved his arms in triumph. "Finally I can perform the spell."

His joy was instantly quelled when he saw that the candle had gone out from all his hand waving. He sank down in defeat. He opened the book of matches and found it empty. Sigh. Nothing ever went right.

* * *

"Men's room, men's room." Ranko muttered as she walked down a dark corridor. "You'd think there would be a light switch around here." She stopped at a door with a symbol of a human wearing a skirt. "Hmm... I guess this is the lady's room, so the men's room can't be far." 

She was about to backtrack when the manager appeared from nowhere. He pointed to a stairwell at the end of the corridor and said, "You can freshen up over there."

Ranko barely understood what he said, but she got the gist of it. She nodded and walked upstairs and into another narrow hallway. On both sides were doors to several apartments. The medium height and built Chinese man led the way until he reached a door with the number two hundred five. He unlocked the door and swung it open and gestured for Ranko to enter.

The place was well kept for a bachelor pad. The main room, while cramped, was clear of debris and only the kitchen looked like it needed a woman's touch. Not this woman, thought Ranko. Her host pointed the way to a small bathroom which the girl saw and sped up her walk to enter.

Ranko stopped at the doorway and made a girlish smile. "I've got to change into something more natural for me. See you soon." She batted her eyes and slammed the door.

Mr. Ching was on cloud nine. He had a beautiful red-head in his apartment and she was taking a shower in his bathroom. He ran to the kitchen to find his supply of breath mints.

Inside the bathroom, Ranko surveyed the chamber. She slid aside the curtain and turned on the water. It came out cold, but that was to be expected until the tiny water heater mounted on the wall could kick in. She found a small window above the shower and she slid it open. "Mousse! Mousse! Come here!" She looked down at her little pig. "Hey, Porky! I need you to call duck boy over here."

Ryoga squealed impatiently. Hot water was coming and he didn't want to miss out on his turn.

"You just need hot water. I need a bath. Phew!" She placed the pig by the open window and stepped back to remove her filthy clothes. Momentarily, she was in the shower, rinsing off the grime from her body. Slowly, steam filled the room and Ranma grew to his natural height. P-chan excitedly jumped down from his perch and into the stream of hot water, instantly restoring him to normal.

Sadly, two full grown men in a tiny shower stall wasn't a good idea as they soon found out. "Hey! Watch it you pervert!" Ranma spat out and he was blinded for a moment with the shampoo that streamed down the front of his face. He rapidly rubbed his eyes with water to cleanse them.

Ryoga pushed his body against the wall to keep from being crushed. "Look who's the pervert, Miss I'm going to change into something natural! What do you think that guy's going to do when he sees you come out?"

"Hadn't thought about that yet. Besides, who cares?" Ranma rinsed away the shampoo from his hair. "We're back to normal and that's what matters."

"Yeah, you're right about that."

Suddenly, a third man appeared in the shower as Mousse was restored to his birth form. All three men were barely able to breathe in the crowded shower and with a simple application of physics, they all tumbled out into a heap onto the floor.

Ranma was the first to get up. He jumped back into the shower to wash away the soap from his hair. "Couldn't you wait until I was done, sheesh! Can't a guy take a shower in peace?"

Mousse felt the ground for his glasses. "Hey, Saotome, no fair you hoggin' up the hot water."

Ryoga pushed Mousse away. "Pervert!"

Mousse pushed back and spoke in Chinese. "You're the pervert!"

"You're ALL PERVERTS!" Came from a very surprised Chinese man who spoke those words in his native language. He had come to see what the commotion was all about and found a lot more than what he had bargained for. Namely, three naked men in his bathroom, one in the shower and two on the floor in a shoving match. "Where's the girl?"

Mousse answered in Chinese and pointed at Ranma. "He's the one in the shower."

"No, it can't be..." He stared at the boy with the girl's hairstyle and despite his new height and broad chest, he was recognizable as that cute red head. He must have washed the red dye from his hair. "AAAAAHHHHH!!!" The man ran screaming away from the bathroom, out the door and down the hall.

Ranma popped out of the shower and looked at himself in the mirror. He removed his hair clip and began tying his hair in a pigtail. "Guys, if you want to use the shower, you'd better do it fast. I think we've overstayed our welcome."

Downstairs, the betting was going fast and furious until a scream was heard upstairs. The cashier looked at the betting log to find the closest match. "Who bet on him running away screaming?"

"I did!"

"Looks like we've got a winner."

The manager bolted out from the back area and stopped at the front counter. He screamed in anger and frustration. "She's a guy!"

"She is?" Asked the cashier.

"I win too." The chef behind the stove laughed and sliced another slab of meat with a mighty blow. "I bet that it wasn't a girl."

"We'll split it."

* * *

The medical hut was warm and inviting. The walls were painted in bright colors and children's drawings were taped everywhere. Konatsu lay on a small cot with bandages covering most of her body. She awoke to take in a deep breath and gagged. Coughing, she convulsed for a moment as her lungs spasmed from an internal injury. 

Potion came out from behind a curtain and reached for a small clay bowl. She placed some herbs inside and mixed them rapidly. Still mixing, she sat on a tiny stool next to the low cot and spooned some of the foul smelling concoction into the kunoichi's mouth. "There, there, this will help you sleep."

Konatsu grew wide eyed. "I can't sleep right now, I need to..." Her eyes fluttered closed and she passed out.

Potion looked at her medicine and smelled the spoon. "Odd, it shouldn't have worked that fast. I'll have to make a note of this."

She set the bowl down on a small table and studied her patient intently. "Now, Konatsu, you rest up. You're safe here. We'll discuss your situation soon enough."

* * *

The tiger smelled trouble. Ahead were odors that were familiar and yet alien to her. She crept along the grass and stopped, waiting for her prey to make itself known. She slinked further, pressing her body against the grass to keep herself as low as possible. 

She stopped again. Her senses warned her that something was amiss and she struggled to grasp as to what was wrong with her environment. The jungle was lush and green, filled with many places for her prey to hide. Then again, it was a perfect spot to be ambushed, but by what? She smelled the air again, trying to detect any trace of human and didn't find any. That didn't mean that humans weren't around, but at least it wasn't her first danger. What bothered her was that the smell ahead was very close to one of her own kind but wrong in some way.

She couldn't resolve the conflict. She smelled the scent of tiger blood but it was tainted, altered somehow. Deciding that caution was the best tactic, she edged backwards and leapt up into the thick branches of a tree. From her perch, she watched the path ahead and confirmed her suspicions. She was going to have some fun.

Lime, a member of the Musk Dynasty and a human with the blood of a tiger, sat in silent vigil of his tiger trap. He kept low with the patience of a hunter waiting for his prey to come to him.

Today's hunt was a special one. His master, Prince Herb, had decreed that they needed to purify their race and to do that, they needed to bring in fresh animals into their bloodlines. To that end, all eligible bachelors, or in other words their entire clan since they only had males among them, were to go on hunts for animals that they would transform into human wives.

Lime was excited at the idea of being able to touch female breasts that belonged to a woman who was to bear his children. He couldn't wait and the day they were to journey to Jusenkyo was approaching fast. He didn't want to come back empty handed because if he did, he would miss out on the boob-fest that all the other Musk would partake in.

Too deep in thought about fondling breasts, he didn't notice the feline shadow that had been cast over his position. When he did, the tiger pounced on him. The two wrestled in the grass for a moment. Each trying to claw or bite their opponent into submission. Birds flew off in fright as the fight escalated. Lime threw off the tiger and rolled away to gain some distance to plan a new strategy when he fell into his own trap.

He fell for ten meters until he landed in a soft thud. An instant later, he was covered in twigs, mud and grass as the rest of the lid that covered the trap collapsed upon his head. Lime stood up, ready to fight only to see the face of a tiger peering down at him from the rim of the pit.

If a tiger could laugh, it would have been chuckling a storm. Instead, it turned away and disappeared into the jungle, looking for easier and tastier prey.

Lime leaned against the dirt wall of his trap. "I hope Mint's faring better."

Somewhere else, in another part of China, a small man with wolf's blood hung upside down in a snare. A wolf sniffed at the man, turned up its nose and wandered off in search of its pack. Mint, the man who was hanging around, moaned, "I hope Lime's faring better."

* * *

Hikaru Gosenkugi was ready to try again. This time, he was armed with a Ronco Brand Everlight Automatic Candle Lighter. He had purchased it from answering an ad in the back of Sorcerer's Monthly. He stood at the rim of the summoning circle and pressed the button. A long flame shot out and flew across the clearing, nearly setting a tree on fire. "Oops." 

He adjusted the intensity setting on the lighter and tried again. A flame about two centimeters high popped out and he made contact with it on the wick of his candle. It lit with no effort at all. He placed the candle into the left holder on his headdress and picked up a second candle. It was lit and placed shortly thereafter. Hikaru let go of the lighter and dropped it onto the ground. He opened his book to the proper page and began the incantation.

"Oh, deities and devils,"  
"Heed my unworthy plea,"  
"Come forth from the depths,"  
"And appear before me,"  
"May those who defy,"  
"Our combined will,"  
"Be made to pay and suffer,"  
"And to foot the bill,"

Hikaru shook his head to make sure he was reading it right. Nope, that's what it said. Above him, the bright daylight was obscured by a storm cloud that appeared out of nowhere and completely encased the sky with darkness.

"Ranma Saotome,"  
"Our mutual enemy,"

Hikaru felt great at uttering that line. How'd the book know that he wanted to punish Ranma was beyond him.

"Will be made to embrace,"  
"Her true identity,"  
"I summon forth,"  
"The thing that must be,"  
"So once and for all,"  
"The darlings will be free."

Lightning struck a nearby tree, sending a flash of light that startled the thin man and he almost dropped his book. "Can't screw up... So close." He held the book out so the candles would illuminate the pages. "The next step is the sacrifice."

He closed the book and held it under his arm. He opened the cooler and extracted the uncooked chicken. He tossed it into the center of the circle and waited expectantly.

Nothing happened.

He waited a few seconds more.

Nothing still happened.

Did he skip a step? He opened the book and went back to the proper page. There it said clearly to throw the sacrifices into the center of the circle. He lowered the book and checked. Yep, the chicken was in the center of the circle. He turned back a page to the sacrifice list. Let's see, one dead animal and the... D'oh!

Hikaru wanted to pound his head on the book for forgetting the most important spell component of them all. His mother was going to be furious if she ever found out, but this was for a good cause. He reached over to a small paper bag and pulled out a silky bra and panty set that he had sneaked away. To his horror, they were singed on one side. He looked down and saw that the lighter was still aflame and it had burned a small circle in the grass.

Hoping for the best, he tossed the underwear into the circle and stood his ground. The book was very clear that he was protected only if he was inside the pentagram of protection that he had drawn and stepping outside of it would be really really bad. In the glossary, it defined really really bad as "Don't ask".

Hikaru waited another moment. Nothing happened.

He looked back into the book and double checked everything. Circle, sacrifice, incantation, and... D'oh!

At least this was the final step, so there was no harm done. He took a deep breath and slowly spoke the words of power. "Klatuu, Barada, Nikto!"

With the final syllable uttered, a terrible thunder crashed across the landscape. A small earthquake shook the ground and the circle glowed with a sickly green glow. The light grew brighter, threatening to blind the sorcerer in training. He averted his eyes and used the book as a shield. Suddenly, all was silent and dark.

The silence was terrifying. Hikaru slowly lowered his book and before him was a portal to another plane of reality. The oval was taller than it was wider. It was large enough to drive a large truck through. He gulped at the thought of what size the creature would have to be to need a gateway this large. His lips crept up into a smile as the idea that this thing was here to do his bidding and it didn't look like Ranma was going to have a chance against it.

A heavy breathing was heard and a cloven hoof emerged from the portal and it touched down on the soft ground. Towering above Gosenkugi appeared a gigantic bull like demon with massive horns, brown fur and an expression on its face that it was ready to rip someone into small pieces and repeat the action just for fun.

"Wow." Was all he could say at the impressive beast before him. He was in awe of the brute strength and might that it possessed. The more he gazed at it, the more convinced he was that this was the right creature for the job.

In a deep voice he bellowed out a mighty roar. The sound was deafening in its volume and put the fear of god into the wizard wanna-be. Hikaru hoped that the pentagram was enough to protect him because the creature could squash him like a bug and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"Who opens the portal?" Asked the beast in a terrible voice. His red eyes that appeared to look straight into someone's soul were fixed on Hikaru.

Hikaru lost bladder control. He gave his pants leg a little shake in a feeble attempt to dry it. He wanted to speak, but his vocal cords had declared it a day off and refused to operate.

The creature blinked and frowned. He turned to look at the portal and a small creature popped out and landed with a thud. The beast looked at the creature. The beast looked at Gosenkugi. The beast looked at the creature again. It looked at Gos. It looked at the creature.

It stopped looking and held his massive hand up to his chin in thought. He kicked the chicken out of the circle and bent down and intentionally erased the glyph of dimension connection.

Hikaru was flabbergasted. The being was breaking the spell that allowed it to stay on Earth.

The monster smiled at Hikaru. "He's your problem now." With that, he jumped into the portal back into the nether dimensions and it shut and vanished behind him.

Another loud thunder clap was heard and the storm cloud vanished as it never was. The sky was blue with a few fluffy white clouds lazily moving by. The clearing was bright, cheery and a total mess.

Gos dropped his book while standing like a statue. "I was so close."

A groan snapped Gos out of his stupor. At the edge of the circle, was a tiny man with a small tuft of white hair that rimmed a bald head. He stepped closer to see who was this person and to check if he needed first aid.

The man slowly reached out toward Hikaru's mother's bra. Reaching, reaching, he rolled to move his arm closer and touched it.

In a flash, the man was up and holding the bra and panty, one item in each hand, and rubbing them onto his cheeks. "Oh, how I've missed you."

"Sir?" Gosenkugi asked sheepishly. "Are you alright?"

The little evil man laughed, "Never felt better, you're that Gosenkugi kid aren't you?"

How did he know my name? "Yes I am. Who are you?" He paused. The man looked familiar.

"Why, my boy! I'm the founding master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. Happosai's the name, and silky darlings are my game. You wouldn't know where I could find Ranma Saotome, now would you?"

Hikaru smiled. Maybe his luck wasn't 100% bad after all.

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from selling you to the gypsies. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 27th, 2007

* * *


	15. Bird Brains

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 15: Bird brains

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me write buggy software.

* * *

The scenery hadn't changed much in the last few hours. A sailboat was the only thing the broke up the monotony of hundreds of kilometers of ocean water. The part time panda held on tight to his mode of transportation and mused on his situation. 

Genma was getting hungry.

Genma was getting bored.

Genma was utterly lost.

He was flying somewhere over the Sea of Japan and hadn't seen land in all that time. He checked on the position of the Sun to make sure he was traveling west, but until he hit land, he wasn't exactly sure if he would be over China, Korea or India.

He shifted his position on the Kinjakan to loosen his stiffening muscles and the device instantly dove downward. In a panic, he pulled back on the staff sending himself and the magic artifact straight up into the sky. He held on tight as the air thinned and the temperature dropped. He gently eased the staff forward and leveled out.

The portly man felt weak but didn't mind it. He had a magnificent view of the terrain ahead. Straight ahead, about fifty kilometers, lay the shoreline of some country. His stomach growling in anticipation for an imminent meal, he pitched down to lower himself to a more breathable altitude. "Ah, soon I'll be rid of this stupid curse." He chuckled to himself and thought of ways that he could use the Kinjakan to make a clean getaway after ransacking someone's home.

Maybe my ungrateful son would appreciate some Nannichuan water as well? He smiled. Giving him a cure would make Ranma a better man and maybe, just maybe, Nodoka would come to her senses and share with him some of that money he knew she had stashed somewhere. What an ungrateful wife, he thought. Of all the things he did for her; taking his son away on that ten year training trip so she wouldn't need to care for him, making sure he was able to bring home food and cloth so she could cook for him and mend his clothes. Bah! She'll come crawling back.

If I could bring home barrels of water from those springs, I wouldn't need Nodoka's money. He plotted to himself. I'd be rich and she'd see who's boss. Then again, I could still use the money she's hiding anyways. Up ahead, on the horizon, he spotted a shoreline. With renewed faith in his quest, he pushed the Kinjakan a little forward and increased his speed.

Two hundred kilometers behind, a small winged boy flew as fast as he could in pursuit. Saffron had thoughts of his own and they involved torturing, maiming and punishing the infidel who took his artifact. "Heh, heh, heh. The fool. It's taking him straight home. My people with take care of him and then..." His face filled with hatred and malice. "You belong to me."

* * *

The airport loudspeaker spoke with a friendly female voice, first in Chinese, then repeated her statement in Japanese. "Welcome to Beijing! All arriving passengers, please proceed to Immigration." 

Akane held her schoolbag like a purse and walked silently behind Ukyou. The chef wore a large backpack that was either oddly light for its size or the girl carrying it was stronger than she looked. The pair marched down the wide corridor among the thousands of travelers toward the luggage carousel. The sounds of light conversation filled the air as the other passengers milled about waiting impatiently for their luggage to arrive. Being in a strange place kept the pair on their guard for anything unusual, which for these two was the normal way of things.

Ukyou stopped suddenly, causing Akane to plow directly into her back nearly spilling the pair onto the carpet. Ukyou regained her balance and spun her head back with a look of surprise. "Hey, watch where you're goin'."

"Well, excuse me!" Akane snorted, crossed her arms, and looked away from her companion. "You're the one who seems to know her way around this place. Why'd you stop?"

Ukyou glanced around for something while she spoke. "For someone who wanted to take Ranma-Honey to Jusenkyo, you sure didn't study the way very hard."

The short girl shot an annoyed glance back at the cook. "It's not like he needs it anymore."

Ukyou saw the sign she was looking for and gave a sigh of relief. "I gotta take a break. Coming?"

Looking around at all the strangers and some even stranger men that had seemed to take an interest in two young Japanese girls, Akane decided that a break was in order before she would have to break someone's bone for being a pervert. "Yeah, why not?"

Ukyou led them to the women's restroom, therein, she removed her backpack and rummaged inside of a small side pocket. "It's here somewhere, oh, yeah. Got it." She extracted a small plastic compact and popped it open. "Can't forget this."

Akane closed her eyes and scolded herself in forgetting to take her pill too. She opened her schoolbag and found her plastic container for her birth control pills. She took a pill out and was about to take it when Ukyou's stare drew her attention. "What?" She asked in alarm.

Ukyou's gaze was locked on Akane's pill. "That's a funny lookin' pill. Where'd you get that?"

"What do you mean, funny? And why are you taking them too? Are you..." Akane's eyes lit up in joy. "... dating?" She thought of why they were here and drew the proper conclusion for the incomplete facts she had. "You and Konatsu? I'm so happy for you?"

"Hold on, Sugar." Ukyou turned red in embarrassment and held her open hand outward and waved it around. "No, no, no..."

The Saotome giggled as Ukyou danced around in utter denial. She watched Ukyou as she continued to utter words in a jumble. "You got it all wrong. He's not my type. Errr... Ah, hell." Ukyou slumped head first on the sink.

Akane kept on giggling as she cupped a hand under the automatic faucet and fetched some water. She placed her pill in her mouth and swallowed the water quickly. Wiping her hand on a paper towel, she continued her happy train of thought. "Konatsu's kinda cute, if you don't mind the cross-dressing and the makeup and the fact he looks more like a girl than any girl I know. Well, maybe except for Ranma." Akane growled out the last part as visions of Ranma in a bunny suit or her Sailor Senshi uniform popped into her head, reminding her of just how girlish Ranma could be if he set his mind to it. She shimmered a faint tinge of blue from jealousy.

"I'm not dating anybody." Ukyou sighed from her vantage point and promptly took her pill. She was glad that Akane was just as dense as ever in being incapable of figuring out the real truth behind people's motivations. She stood up and eyed her pills and thought of why she was taking them. Wistfully, she wished there really was a reason to keep using them since they did make her feel moody from time to time. She wasn't going to be sleeping with Ranma anytime soon and the chances that was going to happen in her lifetime were now about zero. She knew Shampoo would never think about using these pills, since her goal in life was to get pregnant as soon as possible, but Ukyou was far more practical.

Yet, Ukyou was also as stubborn as any of the fiancee brigade. Even though Ranma had been married for months now, she, like the others, were in a state of denial and hoped against hope that they'd wake up from this nightmare and things would go back the way they were and they would be able to court the most eligible bachelor in Japan.

Such dreams were not meant to be, I suppose. Ukyou thought quietly as she moved to close her pill compact. She pondered her situation and decided that it was for the best. Glancing at her medicine one last time, she was about to toss the plastic dispenser into the trash when something dawned on her. "Akane? May I see your pills?"

The shorter girl eyed Ukyou with suspicion and defensively held her own compact to her chest. "Why?"

"I just want to see something." She held out her compact for Akane to see. It was seven centimeters in diameter with a silver disk inside. On the aluminum foil were small clear plastic bubbles that each contained a tiny pill. Next to each bubble was a number that corresponded to a day. Half of the pills were missing.

Akane blinked at what she saw. She opened her compact to find the same silver disk but the pills were much larger. There was no plastic covering, but that made sense since these pills wouldn't have fit in the covering that Ukyou had. Akane's compact was half empty as well.

Ukyou was able to steal a peek inside Akane's compact and put things together. Unlike the Saotome, she formulated several conclusions and laughed out loud as the most plausible one came to the forefront.

Akane raised an eyebrow in anger. "What's so funny?"

Still snickering, Ukyou had to confirm her hypothesis. "Where did you get those?"

"From Dr. Tofu, why?"

Ukyou stopped snickering. "Really?" She reevaluated her hypothesis and dismissed it. "I'm sorry. Because those pills sure do look like Tic-Tacs."

"Tic-Tacs?"

"Y'know, those candies they sell everywhere. I even have a rack of them in my restaurant. For a moment, I thought your mother-in-law gave those to you."

Turned a bright red, Akane studied her pills and stared at Ukyou's, comparing them and saw that they were vastly different. After a moment's hesitation, she whispered, "Mom said she got them from Dr. Tofu."

Ukyou held her hands over her mouth to keep from going into hysterical laughter. She shook a few times as her chuckles attempted to escape. Once it was out of her system, she reached out one hand and asked. "Can I see one of your pills?"

Afraid of the truth, but even more terrified at not knowing, she complied and placed a single white pill in Ukyou's hand. The chef held the pill to her nose and smelled it. Inhaling a second time, she stated. "Mint."

Akane spun around and held her hands out in a defensive martial arts pose, ready to break someone's collarbone with just one blow. "Where is he?"

Ukyou stepped back at Akane's sudden change in demeanor, from a meek young teenager into a ruthless warrior in the blink of an eye. "He?"

"Where's Mint?" Akane glanced around the restroom with fire in her eyes. The look startled several other women who promptly made for the exit.

"Right here, Sugar." Ukyou held out the pill for Akane's examination. "It is a Tic-Tac." To confirm her suspicions, the chef stuck her tongue out and licked the pill for flavor. The gesture removed all doubt. "Yep, mint flavored."

"They're supposed to be mint flavored." Akane shot back, but not turning around to face her friend. "That's what mom said they were."

"Your mother-in-law? Mrs. Let's repopulate the world?" Ukyou's original hypothesis was on the money. "Face it, Sugar. You've been had."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your pills, they aren't real. Your mother-in-law probably switched them."

Akane fiddled with her plastic pill box nervously. "Why would she want to do that?"

Impersonating Nodoka's voice, Ukyou answered. "My son, he's so manly!"

Far away, Nodoka felt a warm tinge in her body, then she sneezed.

"What are you getting at?" Akane growled, angry at the insinuation that Nodoka would do anything to hurt her.

"You mean you don't know?" The chef laughed out loud. "Half of Nerima knows. She's been wanting grandkids ever since I met her."

"Well, yeah, she wants an heir to continue the Saotome line. So does my dad. And... And..." Akane froze.

"And?" Ukyou was enjoying this. "Is there an heir in the works?"

Akane turned into a statue. Cracks formed all over her, then she fell to pieces.

Miss Okonomiyaki wasn't amused anymore. She lost Ranma. Now her rival was going to bear his child. Life really sucked. "So, when's the baby shower?"

"There isn't one." Akane recovered instantly from her shock. "I'm not pregnant!"

"Whoa!" Ukyou stood back against the wall, trying to stay out of mallet range. "I'm sorry I brought it up, Sugar."

"I'm still in high school! I'm not ready to be a mom!" Akane shouted at no one in particular. "Mrs. Saotome would never do such a thing, but... Oh... Honestly, if Mr. Saotome was behind this..."

"He was behind getting you married."

"Look who's talking!" Retorted Akane. "You and Shampoo tried to get him to sign a marriage license when he was using that love band-aid."

"Oops..." It was all Ukyou could say. She forgot about that little mishap. "But at least I wasn't trying to bear his kid yet."

"Yet? Wadda mean yet? You aren't going to be bearing his kid, ever! I am!"

A raised eyebrow was Ukyou's response. "So you're pregnant?"

"I... Uh... No, I'm not!" She shouted in fury. "I'll prove it to you. I'll see Dr. Tofu when we get back and I'll prove you wrong!"

"Okay, Sugar." Ukyou tried to calm the girl down. "You're not pregnant. Maybe those pills are some new kind. You're right though, seeing Dr. Tofu would be a safe bet."

Akane picked up her school bag, shot a suspicious glance at the chef and stormed out of the restroom.

Ukyou took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She spoke softly so Akane couldn't hear her. "I know Tic-Tacs when I see them."

* * *

Kasumi finished drying another dish and placed it lovingly into the cupboard. She hummed a happy tune to help drown out the sounds of her father crying. Suddenly, she heard the front door open and a familiar voice greeted her. 

"I'm home!" Nabiki shouted. "I gotta be quick. I have to be downtown in an hour." She turned and ran upstairs to change from her high school uniform and into something a bit more businesslike.

"Welcome home, sister!" Kasumi cried back, loud enough for Nabiki to hear her. She opened the refrigerator and selected ingredients to make some sandwiches so her sister could eat on the train. Juggling the meats, vegetables and jars of condiments like a waitress, she went to the counter and carefully placed the items in a row. She was about to open the breadbox when a terrible feeling overtook her.

Kasumi looked around the kitchen in fear. Something was happening, yet she couldn't figure it out. She focused her mind and it told her the Earth was in pain. It didn't make any sense to her. As quickly as the feeling came, it was gone. She rested against the counter, trying to make sense of what just happened when a flash of light appeared next to the koi pond.

It was Sailor Sun, although she had seen better days. Her uniform looked fine, but it was obvious in how she stood against the compound wall that she was exhausted in some way. The girl took a step toward the house, then she shouted **"MOTHER!"**

The eldest Tendo sister was confused. Nodoka was in Juuban, not here, yet Kasumi felt as if Mrs. Saotome was upstairs. She shook her head to reconcile what was happening to her. Maybe Ranma would know something? She looked out the window and heard Sun shout something else, but she couldn't make out exactly what she said.

Kasumi's world erupted in fire and pain. An awful bright light engulfed the kitchen and everything was set aflame. She held her gloved arms in front of her and protected herself. The flames stopped affecting her, but she had already suffered severe burns. "I have to protect..." Summoning her might, she focused on protection. "Save..."

With an ear shattering roar, the house all around her was blown away and she was knocked down by the cabinet. All the while she never lost focus. She had to keep focus. Lives were at stake. Her life. Her fellow's life. Channeling energies she never knew she had, she protected Sailor Sun. How? She had no idea, but she was doing it. After ten seconds of agony, she couldn't hold it up anymore and she...

"Sis?" Nabiki asked. "Is there anything wrong?"

Kasumi awoke from her trance. It was so real, but it wasn't. The kitchen was intact, everyone was okay, and that terrible feeling was completely gone. Wordlessly, she gazed out the kitchen window and only saw the clothes hanging out to dry and a backyard with her father in a corner performing a Shinto ritual. "I-I don't think so."

"You sure you're okay?" Nabiki was worried. Her sister has never zoned out before.

"I'm fine." She smiled. "Oh, my, give me a minute and I'll get your dinner ready." It was at this moment Kasumi noticed Nabiki's attire. "You look radiant today."

Wearing a tailored business jacket, matching blouse and pencil skirt, Nabiki looked like she was ready to argue a case before a judge. "Why, thank you Kasumi. I just got this yesterday, although I borrowed the blouse from Akane."

"When did you borrow it?" Kasumi spread the mayonnaise on the bread. "You really should return all of Akane's clothes to her."

"I'll do that next time I see her."

"Please do so, it's rude to impose and she's away from home now so she needs everything that belongs to her."

"Tell you what. I'll put her stuff back in her room when I get back from work."

"Don't forget." Kasumi softly reminded her sister. "Here's your dinner."

"Thanks sis." She snatched the bag and instantly ran toward the front door. Just before she exited, she said. "I'll be home late!"

Kasumi waved goodbye. Then stopped for a moment. She looked around her all too familiar kitchen, hoping to find some clue as to what happened to her only a minute ago. All she got in response was the sounds of her father's weeping and his splashing a bucket of water over himself.

Instinctively, she went outside to the back yard and stood on the grass. She kneeled down and touched the soft earth. Everything was alright. She knew it.

* * *

Hikaru sat, holding his evil book in front of himself as if it was going to offer some protection from the being that called itself Happosai. He looked like Happosai, but just where in the world did he come from? Better yet, just where was he that required a portal to hell to return from? He watched silently as the Master playfully fondled his mother's bra. Shortly, the evil man wore the panties on his head like a hat and spoke again. "Why are you so quiet?" 

"Uh..." Started the would be sorceror. "I-I..." Then he remembered. "You have to do what I say."

"Yeah, that's a laugh. Tell me another one." Happosai snickered. "I ain't got all day. I've got to see a certain lady and give her a piece of my mind. You wouldn't by any chance know where Nodoka Saotome lives, do you?"

He shook his head, no.

"Hmm, how about Ranma?" He rubbed his hands in glee.

"I... Uh... Saw him at school yesterday, or was it the day before? Gah!" His mind was reeling. "You have to obey me!"

Happosai pulled out a pipe and a little tissue and started to clean his smoking instrument. He gave a small snicker. "And why, pray tell, are you saying that nonsense? I don't obey anyone."

"You have to obey me. The book says so."

He studied the cover of the book in question. "Sorry, but that's only for demons. Since I'm not a demon, you can't do squat. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to check out my collection back at the Tendo's." He hopped up into a tree and bounded out of sight.

Hikaru was hopelessly depressed. "I worked so hard. How can that book be wrong? I followed all the directions." He opened the Demonomicon and turned back to the page in question. There, was a picture of Happosai, but it wasn't a static image. It was a live moving picture that was following him as he traveled through the forest. Below it, read a caption, 'Awaiting quest'.

Now he was really confused. Something did happen, but what? He watched in fascination as the Master jumped out of the forest and into a ladies bathhouse. He slammed the book shut since the images of naked women was too much for the pale faced man to bear.

He was angry. "You're supposed to obey me. Get back here!"

In a flash of dark light, surrounded by tiny yellow stars, Happosai reappeared in the clearing, holding a bra in each hand. "Hotcha... Wait a minute. How did I get here?"

Hikaru answered, dumbfoundedly. "Uh..."

"You? What do you think you're doing, interrupting an old man's last days among the female species. Now, don't do that again." Without another word, he bounded off again, in search of soft fabrics.

With new found courage, he commanded again. "Come back here!"

Instantly, the Master was again in the circle of summoning. This time, he was getting annoyed. "Okay, let's get this over with." He turned to face Gosenkugi. "What is it that you want me to do?"

Now it was Hikaru's turn in the spotlight. He rubbed his hands with glee and commanded... Commanded... Hmm... What was it that he wanted again? Oh, yeah, he remembered, "I want you to beat up Ranma Saotome and make Akane Tendo marry me!"

Happosai sat there and thought about the command. "Is that what you really want?" He smiled. "Why didn't you say so? I'm off!" He once again, bounded off.

It worked! It actually worked! Hikaru was beside himself in happiness. His dream was finally going to come true. Ranma would taste his wrath, and Akane would be his! Oh, happy day! Gosenkugi danced a little jig, then fell over from exhaustion. He sat on the grass for a moment, reveling in his good luck. Oh, I can't miss this! He opened the book to watch it all unfold. The image was still tracking Happosai, and the caption was red and blinking the words 'Quest error'.

He paid it no mind, he was going to enjoy the show. He reached into his backpack to see if there was some candy or popcorn, but he came up empty. Then, it started to rain. Hard. Really hard. Gosenkugi was on top of the world. Nothing could shatter his happiness.

* * *

"Which way do we go now?" Ranma asked his companions. The trio were standing in the middle of a busy Beijing shopping plaza. Ranma wore a green Chinese long sleeved jacket, black drawstring pants and black slippers. Ryoga wore a similar outfit, except he used some of his striped bandannas as a belt and trim. Mousse wore his usual white robes. 

Mousse checked a scroll. "We have to get back to the airport."

Ryoga was not comprehending just why they'd have to go back from where they came. "Didn't we just leave there?"

Teleportation and blowing his cover sounded better and better, Ranma thought. He turned to the hidden weapons master. "Why didn't you say anything about that before we jumped out of a plane?"

I was hoping you'd die a hideous death, thought Mousse. "You didn't ask. We need to take another plane to get us close to Jusenkyo."

Ranma crossed his arms in dismay. He had had enough of air travel. "Why? We can just run there. How many kilometers is it from here?"

"Over two thousand."

Ryoga and Ranma sighed together.

"The airport's this way."

Ryoga growled. "What's the point? I don't have one of those passports. I can't fly without one."

"You don't need one. This isn't an international flight. So it's a lot easier."

"It better be." Ranma said, suspicious of Mousse's intention. "I ain't plannin' on bailing you out of jail or nothing."

Mousse got an idea. If I got him arrested... No, Ryoga would break him out. Shoot. "No, nobody's going to jail."

Ranma replied. "Good, 'cause I gotta get back to school on Monday."

"Why are you in a hurry to get back? Go bridal training?" Mousse laughed.

"How did you???" Ranma both turned red from anger and embarrassment. "You ain't supposed to know!"

Ryoga blinked. He raised an eyebrow and asked sheepishly, not really believing what he just heard. "Bridal training? You?"

"It was mom's idea, not mine! Okay!" He waved his arms in denial hoping that this conversation would end immediately.

Mousse smiled evilly. "Go ahead, Saotome, tell us all about the time you were wearing that cute kimono with Akane and those other girls. Over at Ucchan's..."

"You saw that?" Ranma made warding gestures with his hands. "I... I mean... It wasn't what it looked like!"

"You... You... You were in bridal training? With Akane? Why you!" Ryoga rushed in for the kill.

Ranma ducked aside. "Not again. Will you knock it off!"

"Stand still and take it like a man!"

"What's with you, P-Chan? Why are you so slow?" Ranma dodged to the side as Ryoga ran past, holding his umbrella like a lance. "Have you slacked off your training?"

"What are you talking about, Ranma? I've been fighting Akari's pigs! What's with you? How'd you get so fast?"

I'm faster? Ranma mused on that. He had been training intensely with Akane both in that other world and as a Sailor Senshi. He gave a cocky smile. "Of course I'm faster, I'm the best!"

"Yeah right!" Ryoga smashed his umbrella down where Ranma was standing a second ago. "No more tricks. Fight me like a man!"

"Nyah! Nyah!" Ranma stuck his tongue out. "You can't..."

Mousse had smashed a large club into Ranma's head since he was busy paying attention only to Ryoga. Now's my chance. He was about to land a killing blow when a cop down the street blew a whistle.

Ranma sat up from his unconsciousness. "Pops! Who did you piss off now?" He regained his memory of what was going on and remembered that his father was back in Japan. "Uh, time to go!"

Ryoga and Mousse nodded and ran in different directions. Mousse, toward the airport, Ryoga, somewhere that wasn't the airport. Ranma leapt into the air and grabbed Ryoga's hand. "This way, P-Chan!"

They ran down the streets, carefully avoiding any police officers along the way until they finally got to the main terminal of the airport. The trio sat down to catch their breath. Mousse took a moment to pull out his scroll and looked at the departure screen. "We made it just in time. Our plane leaves in thirty minutes."

Ranma gasped for air. "Finally, some good news."

"C'mon, we can rest on the plane." The hidden weapons master led them down the terminal to the ticket counter. There, he smiled at the woman as the desk. "I'd like three tickets please for flight thirty five."

She tabulated the total. "Very well, that will be 3,850 Yuan."

"That's no problem. Ryoga, can I have the money?"

Ryoga froze. "Money?"

Ranma snidely commented. "Yeah, didn't Mousse put the money in your backpack?"

Ryoga growled. "And who lost my backpack?"

Ranma shut up.

"Ranma!?!? You lost the money!?!" Mousse shouted in frustration.

"It blew out of my hands!" Ranma got defensive. "It wasn't my fault. I was too busy keeping pig boy here from biting my hand off."

"Now what are we going to do? We can't walk to Jusenkyo, it will be too late." Mousse cried.

Ranma asked, "Too late for what?"

Ryoga got depressed. "No cure?"

Sensing another fatal dose of depression building up from his old rival, Ranma knocked his brain around, looking for an answer. Again, a transformation, a beat down, then a teleportation came to the forefront, but he couldn't let these two know about his alter ego. Then the lights came on. "That visa! Don't you have that visa card?"

Mousse cheered up. "Yeah, we could pay for the tickets with it!"

"Really?" Smiled a happy Ryoga. I'll be free of the pig! "It's in my back pocket."

"Give it to me." Mousse held out his hand in anticipation. "C'mon now, she ain't got all day."

"Great! It's in the back pocket of my back..." He glared at Ranma. "PACK!" He charged him again.

"Not that again." Ranma groaned. Thankfully, Ryoga was wide open and Ranma poked him in the back on a pressure point. Ryoga fell over asleep instantly.

"This sucks!" Mousse was angry. Now he was stuck in Beijing, thousands of kilometers away from his beloved and in the company of his worst enemy. If he could kill with a look, the city would have been in flames.

Ranma poured water on Ryoga. He plucked up the sleeping pig. "C'mon, we got a plane to catch."

Mousse sighed. "Don't lose our clothes this time."

Back at the Tokyo Airport, a groundskeeper was rejoicing at the money he found in an abandoned backpack.

* * *

Gel sat in her hut, reading an ancient text, when the curtain that covered the enterance was pushed aside revealing another shriveled up old woman. She didn't pause in her study nor look at her visitor. "Greetings, Cologne." 

Cologne scowled back at her rival. "What are you hoping to accomplish?"

"Accomplish?" Gel finally looked up and stared at her opponent. "Nothing at all. I'm just obeying what our ancestors laid down for us."

"You won't get away with this."

"Get away with what?" She answered smugly. "I'm not the one who asked the council to ignore three thousand years of Amazon history. The law is quite clear. Shampoo must pay for her crime."

"She obeyed the law. She tracked Ranma back to Japan. That was no mean feat. Ranma is one of the best warriors I've ever seen."

"Blasphemy!" Shouted Gel in righteous fury. "How dare you claim that an outsider is better than our people? Shampoo's not worthy to be called an Amazon. If she was, she would never have been defeated by that **BOY!**"

"Is that what this is about?" Asked Cologne incredulously. "You're upset that quite possibly the best Amazon warrior of this generation was born in a male body?"

"A boy could never be an Amazon! **NEVER!** The very idea you proposed still makes me sick to my stomach! How dare you spit in the face of our history and even consider that this **BOY** could be considered as one of us? It turns my stomach to think that someone of your stature could have even conceived such an outlandish idea." Gel spat in disgust. "You make me sick. If it was up to me, I'd have you executed right this instant for treason."

"Treason?" Cologne grew wide eyed. "How dare you accuse me of treason?"

"I didn't need to. Your own words damned you." She lifted up the corner of the scroll exposing another parchment beneath. She slid it out and allowed Cologne to see what it was. "This is the text of your proposal. You claim that Ranma is male in body, yet female in spirit. That alone is grounds for treason."

Cologne chose her words carefully. "Why is that treasonous? We've indoctrinated others in the past who were freed by the Nyannichuan. Why is she any different?"

"Are you blind?" Shouted Gel in frustration. "I'm aware of those in the past. And what did they have in common that your **BOY** doesn't? Hmm? I'll remind you. They were Amazons! They wanted nothing to do with their male bodies and when the Musk visited, they had their curses locked. It was a joyous occasion, celebrated by our new sisters and what does your Ranma want? He wants to be rid of the curse. That alone makes him unfit to be called an Amazon."

"What makes you think he wants cure?" Cologne prodded.

"You are blind." Gel spoke softly and slowly. Her opinion had fallen even further than before. "I have plenty of witnesses who've seen how he behaved around Shampoo and Mousse. Even his visit here drew suspicion. It's not every day we are visited by a Panda bear and the Jusenkyo Guide. It wasn't hard to figure out that he was also carrying a curse. Then we hear from Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung about how he behaved and I've also got the Jusenkyo Products merchant who sold him a packed of Nannichuan for the expressed purpose to remove his curse. Cologne, your warrior is nothing but a worthless male."

Shampoo's great grandmother needed time. It was not an item she had in abundance. "What has this got to do with Shampoo? If he's so worthless, why did the council order her to bring him back?"

"Don't try my patience." Gel stood up and held her hands down on the table in front of her. "The law is clear. If an outsider male defeats one of us. He is to be brought in for discipline. The Amazon will be duty bound to break him as her husband."

Gel reached for a book near the floor. She opened it and slammed it on the hard wooden table. "Here's the marriage roster. For the last thousand years, all women that took a husband using that law threw their fights."

Cologne listened intently. She knew all this already, but wanted to hear what Gel had to say and kept quiet.

Gel slammed the book shut. "That's because no man can defeat an Amazon. Yet, Shampoo lost against her will. Not once, but at least three times against the man she's charged with breaking. If that doesn't strip her of her status, I will do it by decree."

"You ..." Cologne held her staff tight in fury. "You don't know what you're risking."

"I don't you say?" Gel laughed as she placed the roster back where it belonged. "In fact, I know exactly what I'm risking."

"And what about the Sailor Senshi? Don't you think they would have a say in the matter?"

"If what you say is true, but I know it isn't." She rolled up her scroll and slid it into a protective sleeve.

"How can you know it isn't true. I know that it is. I was visited by the Sailor Senshi personally."

"Hogwash! You lie! The Sailor Senshi would have nothing to do with Shampoo! She's not worthy to be an Amazon and they wouldn't taint themselves by being associated with her in the slightest. Once, we were the honor guard for the Sailor Senshi. We, the Amazon people, were the only people on Earth that earned the trust of the Moon Kingdom. They only associated with the best of the best of our people. Just to be in the presence of a Sailor Senshi was a great honor and you're implying that they would let an honorless woman circulate among them. Preposterous!"

"That's where you're wrong." Cologne retorted, furious at the assassination of her great granddaugter's honor. "She fought alongside them more than once."

"It's your word against mine. And your word is losing value daily."

"That's where you're making a fatal mistake. Shampoo has the respect of the Sailor Senshi and to dishonor her is to dishonor the Senshi."

Gel's fingernails dug into her table. "Oh, really. Once the Sailor Senshi know the truth about her, they'll see things my way."

"Your way? Or Shampoo's way?" She let the challenge stand. She had learned enough. She turned on her cane and hopped out of sight.

Gel sat back down and pulled out another scroll for study. "We'll know tomorrow. Either Shampoo hangs, or you do."

* * *

"I hope they don't lose my luggage." Ukyou whined. "I hate these small airlines." 

"When are we supposed to arrive?" Akane asked, hoping that this leg of the journey would be over quick. The plane was nothing like the jumbo jet they took to enter China. It was a small forty passenger commuter plane, filled with dogs, pigs, chickens and other assorted freight.

"Six hours." Kuonji groaned. "It'll be dark soon, so better get some sleep."

"Six hours? Honestly." She pushed away a chicken that had somehow escaped its crate and was running free.

Ukyou looked around the cabin. "Funny, I have that feeling again."

Akane grew pale. "You're not thinking that the pilot reminds you of your old boyfriend, are you?"

"Hey, I can't control what's happening to me, okay? I did apologize to that agent didn't I?"

"I'm glad he didn't want to marry you. You were kinda holding him the wrong way. And you going on about how he looked like your old boyfriend didn't help."

The chef sunk in her chair. "I hope they can find a cure for this. Now I know what it's like to have one of those curses."

"It's not fun, is it?"

"No, it isn't. Still, I'm still getting that feeling, like Ranchan is close by."

Akane wistfully replied. "Me too."

In the back of the plane, there was a large barrel. Inside sat a girl up to her waist in rice wine. On her shoulders sat an annoyed pig and a duck. Ranko was sloshed. "How... Dry... I... Am... Hic..."

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and prevents me from sending hordes of brain eating zombies into your neighborhood. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
January 28th, 2007

* * *


	16. Betrayal

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 16: Betrayal

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me appear on Girls Gone Wild.

* * *

A bright ray of light streamed into the medicine hut and landed at the side of a well worn cot. Slowly, as time went on, the beam silently crept forward along the floor, up the edge of the low bed, until it landed directly on the face of the young woman who was lying there. Feeling the heat, Konatsu opened her eyes and instantly closed them in pain. She lifted a hand to block the light and rubbed her eyes with the other, The kunoichi slowly came back from her unconscious state. Yawning, she sat up and looked around for any sign of her hostess. After a few moments of silence, she saw that the coast was clear, and breathed a sigh of relief. 

Once she had regained her energy, she silently slid off of her resting place and stood in the center of the room. She wobbled for a moment and held onto to a nearby post for support. She remained still for a few seconds until her equilibrium became balanced again, and rubbed her head to soothe a headache. She was still a bit woozy from the medication that Potion had given her, and whatever it was, it had a powerful effect on her. Still, she had her suspicions, "Motaba root," she cursed.

She took a minute to scan the room and found her old ninja outfit hanging on a peg behind a closet door. She quickly removed the white robe she was wearing and put on her more familiar clothing. She took great care in zipping up the front of her outfit after remembering the tired garment couldn't take much more strain before it would fall apart. Brushing off a small amount of dust from her shoulder, she checked the hidden pockets to verify that nothing was taken. She found the item she was looking for and made sure it remained secure in its hiding place.

She moved quietly along the wall, trying to avoid attention from anyone within hearing distance. She approached the entrance to the room and listened carefully at the door. Hearing nothing, she turned the knob and slowly creaked the door open. Peering inside the next room, she breathed another sigh of relief as there were no guards in sight. She moved into the small room and found it filled with potions, animal parts, herbs and other items of possible medicinal value and it also had the distinct aroma of ginger. She quickly checked the room for alarms and traps and then she moved to the curtain that covered the entrance. Behind the curtain was another door, leading to the front porch. She moved to a small circular window to the right of the door and looked outside. There, she saw a familiar white haired old Amazon hopping on her cane and entering a hut across the way.

Once Cologne was out of sight, Konatsu looked to the left and right and saw that the space between the huts was clear. She stepped outside and noticed that the hut she had exited from had a tiny garden next to it filled with exotic plants. Little signs in Chinese marked the types of plants that populated the rows. One of them had the symbol for Motaba root, confirming the ninja's earlier hypothesis. The ground beyond the garden was covered in dirt with patches of grass where foot traffic was absent. She checked again to see if there were any prying eyes and found none. She deftly crossed the dirt path and walked around the other hut and she found a large barrel of water to hide behind. What kind of water? Here, no one could be too sure, so she kept a vigil on the fluid within. She pressed herself between the barrel and the wall of the hut, hoping that no one could see her from where she was hiding. Placing her ear against the wall, she listened carefully.

All she heard was an argument about ancient laws and people named Ranma and Shampoo. Damn, she thought. She was hoping that they would be discussing something of more interest to her. A few minutes pass and the conversation ended. Konatsu was disappointed, since this rare opportunity to spy on the elders yielded nothing of value. She pondered her next move and closed her eyes to clearly recall everything she knew about the village. Gardens, playgrounds, council chambers and yes, the pits, she recalled. She opened her eyes with clarity and crept alongside the hut wall until she could see another row of huts. Hoping that she would be welcome here, she walked, trying to keep her slight limp to a minimum. As she moved between the huts, several Amazons saw her, but none of them paid any special attention to her. The kunoichi smiled. Her plan was working perfectly.

Ahead, was a flat grassy area surrounded by a low wooden fence made of gnarled logs hammered vertically into the ground. The kunoichi was about to step on one when she took a moment to pause. Fearing a magical trap of some kind, she made a clumsy somersault high over the fence and into the center of the area the old wood protected. She landed with a metallic clang. She made a silent curse to herself for being careless and pushed aside a tuft of high grass. Underneath the brush, she found a metal grate firmly anchored to the ground covering a large pit. She looked in between the slats and saw blackness. She squinted her eyes to try to make out anything and still she saw nothing. "Psst." She whispered. "Are you there, my Lord?"

Something in the pit moved in reply. A soft meow was heard followed by a purr. Out of the shadows, came a small white cat with purple ears and paws. It looked up and meowed happily.

Konatsu ignored the feline and kept looking in the pit for any sign of her Lord. "Are you there? It's me, I'm here to get you out." She grabbed the iron grate and gave it a hard yank. It refused to budge.

The cat jumped happily and meowed a little louder. Konatsu gritted her teeth in frustration because that cat was going to attract the very attention she was trying to avoid. She looked to her left and saw another grate, identical to the one she was trying to open. She quickly forgot about the pit with the cat and was about to check the new one when she felt a tap on her shoulder. A sudden jerk followed and she was whisked away, over the fence and into to the back of a nearby hut before she knew what happened to her.

Cologne gave a look of anger and frustration and was holding her cane firmly into the kunoichi's hip. She scowled angrily. "What are you doing here?" She turned around to check if they were being watched and saw that no one was around to see the pair. She breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to face the kunoichi from Japan. She pulled her cane away and stuck it into the ground then held onto it for support. She shook her head in remorse. "You can't rescue her, it would only make it worse."

Konatsu made a frown, "Her?" She was confused. "What do you mean, her?"

"You're not here for her?" Cologne was immediately suspicious. "What are..." Before she finished her sentence, she studied everything she needed to know about this person in front of her. The woman's ki signature was a perfect match for Ukyou's waiter/waitress, but the way she stood was wrong for a kunoichi, the makeup was not applied with absolute care and those breasts weren't made of tissue paper. She spun her cane into a position to attack and shouted for all to hear. "Who are you? **Intruder!**"

Konatsu was taken aback at Cologne's change of tone. She assertively challenged the elder, "I'm the Kunoichi Konatsu. I stand before you!"

If there was any doubt in her mind, it was removed with the ninja's statement. It wasn't the words. Konatsu said that line every time he issued a formal challenge. But Konatsu being assertive? Since when? And the voice, while close to the Kunoichi's, had subtle differences and Cologne was able to discern. This woman was different from the person she knew and even if Konatsu had picked up a curse, it wouldn't change how his base personality was at all unless he fell into the Spring of Drowned Pious Man. The person in front of her was not suffering from that curse. "Konatsu would never address me in that manner. How did you duplicate his body?" She took a moment to pause at the situation since pronouns were rapidly becoming obsolete in this situation. Many questions needed answers and the elder was going to get them while beating it out of this imposter.

The kunoichi sent a low kick at Cologne which she deflected with her cane easily. **"Guards!"** She cried out loud enough to be heard all across the village. "We have an intruder!"

"Where is he?" Konatsu demanded, knowing full well that they weren't going to tell her anything. She jumped back and ran to the unexamined prison cell, all the while being careful not to touch the fence. Upon reaching the grate, she yelled into the darkness within, "My Lord, are you in there?"

**"Stop her!"** Yelled Cologne and she jumped onto her cane and pogo-sticked her way to the kunoichi. She thrust out her staff and shoved the dark haired girl into the ground. Konatsu rolled with the impact and leapt into the air as if she was made for flying. She pulled out a shuriken and threw it at the Amazon elder.

Cologne effortlessly caught the pointed star with her hand and tossed the useless weapon aside. If the real Konatsu had thrown the star, it would have been a challenge to deflect. All the more proof that this person was someone in disguise. "What have you done with Konastu? Who do you want?"

"You know full well who I'm talking about!" Screamed the ninja. "Release him at once!"

As the two women encircled each other, waiting for an opening to present itself for an attack, dozens of Amazon warriors appeared from everywhere and created a perimeter around the two combatants.

Konatsu paused for only a moment and produced a Chinese sword from the hidden place within her robes, a sword that Cologne had seen before. "It's you! Kiima!"

She just grinned in reply and with that, she spun the blade in a whirlwind attack. "Special technique revised, One Thousand Bird Wing Fan!" She stood her ground and with a tone more fitting of a military commander than a demure waitress, she demanded "You will release my Lord, **NOW!**"

Cologne stepped back and maintained a defensive posture. Her cane was no match to Phoenix Mountain steel. "He's not here." She silently prayed that she was telling the truth. With all the deception going on, there was no telling if Kiima may be in the right.

"He would never have left the castle unless he was forced to. What have you done to him?" She commanded. "Bring him forth or... or..." A strange scream was heard from high above causing the small group to take pause and look up.

Instantly, everyone dived for cover as a balding fat man in a white martial arts gi, flew by at a speed that rivaled jet aircraft only a few meters over their heads. "Yeehaw!" He screamed as he whizzed by.

Cologne peered up from the grass first and softly whispered. "Wasn't that..."

"The Kinjakan!" Konatsu shouted in terror. "No!"

Cologne took a moment to put the pieces together and things being measured on the badness scale of one to ten, had reached the level of twelve. She dropped her cane in shock. Genma Saotome on the Kinjakan?!? What's going on? And how did he come by that artifact?

She didn't have much time to ask any more questions, when another missle flew by, following Genma's flight precisely. This object was a cross between a human and a bird and he was cursing. "You will pay for your insolence, **infidel!**"

Without hesitation, Kiima made a break for it. She ran past Cologne and jumped into a steel barrel filled with soaking wet laundry that was sitting on top of a tiny fire. She emerged from the hot water in her birth form, an avian woman with wings. Taking only a moment to repectfully glance at Cologne, she spread her wings and flew up into the sky in pursuit of her Lord Saffron. She was only able to rise five meters before an arrow from an Amazon archer pierced her right wing. Ignoring her new injury, she flapped harder and quickly vanished into the sky in pursuit of her Lord and the Kinjakan.

As the archers sent up a full volley of arrows in a futile attempt to bring Kiima down, Gel hopped in, angrier than a bee hive that was being raided by a bear. She hatefully glared at Cologne and stood just outside of striking distance. "What's the meaning of this? What have you done?"

"What do you mean, what have I done? She's getting away!" Cologne pointed at the rapidly retreating bird woman. "She was spying on us!"

Pointing an accusatory finger at Cologne, Gel barked out the order she had waited a long time to give. "You're under arrest for the attempted prison break of Shampoo."

Cologne was seething. "You're insane! This has nothing to do with my Great-Granddaughter. She came here thinking that we kidnapped Saffron and you're accusing me of that?"

"I see though your plans. I've been watching you and you've finally slipped up. You staged this whole thing! That woman you were with? She's that Kunoichi from Japan and she's works with one of your closest associates. Ukyou, is it?"

"Wait just one..." Was all Cologne could say before a cloud of powder appeared in her face, causing her to cough and prevented her from saying anything more.

"This is an elaborate hoax for you to free Shampoo! I knew you were going to try something when I saw that kunoichi arrive yesterday."

Cologne stood there dumbfounded. She coughed again and forced out her response. "Yesterday? She's been here since yesteday? And you didn't even know she's a Phoenix Mountain dweller? That's the most flimsiest excuse I've ever heard! Something terrible is going to happen and you're wasting our time with this petty bickering?"

"Seize her!" Gel shouted to the other Amazons. The women looked at each other, totally confused as to whether or not they should obey the order. Cologne was one of the highest ranking elders and as such, was almost immune to prosecution.

Cautiously pulling out a small vial from her robes, Gel held it over the opening to Shampoo's cage. "You will do as I say and come along quietly."

Cologne froze, not wanting the contents of the vial to fall. This battle was lost, but the war was far from over. "Your foolishness just condemned us all."

"No, it's your foolish ideas who did this to us. I have to put a stop to it and I'll do anything to protect our way of life. Even this..." Gel steadfastly held the vial over the opening then loosened her grip. She was just a tiny amount of pressure away from releasing the vial into the slats of the iron grate. Never blinking her eyes nor taking her gaze away from the younger Elder, Gel spoke, leaving no doubt that she meant business. "It's a small price to pay to ensure our continued survival. Take her into custody and use the elder protocols."

The lead guard produced a magical steel chain and walked slowly to Cologne. Offering no resistance, Cologne held out her hands and the cuffs were attached to her wrists, all the while she returned Gel's hateful gaze with one of pity. A short distance away, a small iron cell was unlocked and Cologne was led towards it by a group of very reluctant Amazons. Before she entered the cage, she was stripped of her cane and a few magical items she had in her robes and the door was secured with a magically enhanced lock designed especially to keep an Amazon Elder imprisoned. Once her rival was secured, Gel tightened her grip on the vial and slid it back into her pouch with a satisfied look on her face.

She walked up to Cologne's cell, keeping a respectful distance and gloated. "You should have let me drop it. She deserved nothing less."

Shampoo's great grandmother stood silently in her cage, not wanting to give Gel the satisfaction of a response.

"Pity. Her fate was already sealed. Now you can share in her punishment tomorrow. I have plenty of vials. This one I have reserved just for you." She produced the vial and held it so Cologne could clearly read the label.

Cologne didn't have to read the label. She knew exactly what it was. It was the ultimate punishment for an Amazon. "You wouldn't dare."

Gel hid the vial in her fist. She turned around and walked away making one parting comment. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

"Give those back, you pervert!" Screamed a young girl holding a large broom. She was chasing a shriveled old man who was carrying a large laundry bag filled with recently stolen women's undergarments and some of them were originally hers. 

"**Sweeto!** It's a great day to be alive!" Happosai jumped up onto a wall, then onto a high roof and easily evaded his pursuer. He ran for another kilometer to make sure he ditched that ungrateful young lady and paused to check his precious cargo. He opened the bag and found the most magical items in the whole wide world; namely, bras, panties and stockings.

He reached in and fetched a fine specimen of female clothing. He gently rubbed his fingers along the edges of the panty and absorbed the magical feminine energy. Once it was drained, he grabbed another undergarment, then another, until he was fully charged. He slid a panty over his head like a hat and pulled the elastic waist band down to his ears. "Ah, so soft, so cool, so full of sweet goodness, how I've missed you."

He turned to the direction of the Tendo Dojo with a sour look on his face. "Still, without Ranma around, there's no fun in this." He released the band, sending the panty flying into the air. Time to pay him a visit. Maybe he could be persuaded to change into a girl and do a little fashion show for me. He drooled.

He wadded up the undergarments he drained and tossed them over his shoulder. A policeman who had stopped when a panty landed on his head a moment ago had the misfortune to catch the wad of underwear just as a small mob of angry women appeared from nowhere. The lead girl pointed a broom at the officer. "Get the pervert!" The policeman stood there in surprise as he was mercilessly pounded upon by a horde of well armed women.

With his pursuers out of the way, and conveniently law enforcement as well, he placed the bag over his shoulder and roof hopped toward his old place of residence, occasionally stopping here and there to pluck another soft silky darling from a clothesline until his bag was overflowing. After a few screams from lovely ladies, he finally reached the wall of the Tendo compound. Happosai sensed only two occupants inside and neither seemed be the target of his attentions. He shrugged and jumped over the wall and ran up to a crying man. He silently watched as Soun Tendo, dressed only in a white loin cloth, made a prayer to the ancestors, then Mr. Tendo took a bucket of water and poured it on himself as part of a Shinto ritual.

The old geezer produced a pipe, lit it and took a puff. "You know, the furo is a better place to cleanse yourself."

Soun froze. No, he thought. It couldn't be. It's impossible. The Master was banished. He saw it with his own eyes. Mrs. Saotome and Sailor Mars sent the evil man to the afterlife so it couldn't really be him, could it? Perhaps, Happosai was speaking to him from beyond the grave? He reached out with his martial arts senses and there it was. He could feel the evil Master's presence. Somehow, he's returned from the bowels of hell. He bowed down as low to the ground as he could and assume the Crouch of the Wild Tiger, the famed Saotome Technique of professional groveling. "Oh, Master, I seek your guidance."

The evil man raised an eyebrow as Soun was bowing away from him, not toward him. "At least you're showing proper respect for your Master. Now..."

He was about to speak more but Soun interrupted him. "I ask your humble guidance, oh great and powerful Master."

Happosai smiled. Soun was assuming the position but he still couldn't be trusted. The old man wasn't planning on spending another decade buried in a cave somewhere. "I'll give it to you as soon as you tell me where Mrs. Soatome is?"

"Mrs. Saotome?" Soun blinked, surprised as the Master's odd request. "She's staying with Ranma and Akane."

"Oh, nice." Two for the price of one, he rubbed his hands thinking about a romantic rendezvous with Akane-chan. "Are they staying at the Miyagi Dojo in Juuban?"

"Don't you already know, oh, wise and all powerful Master?" Soun started to sweat. That voice sounded like it wasn't from the other side, but from his backside, a place that was certainly one hundred times worse. But that's impossible since the Master was in hell, purgatory, Niflheim or Hoboken, New Jersey. Then again, he did survive a decade locked in a cave after drinking enough sake to kill an elephant and having been blown up by enough dynamite to level a small mountain. Soun, slowly turned his head from his prone position and saw the upside down image of the most horrible creature in all of Japan: His Master.

Instantly turning around, he bowed in front of Happosai. "I welcome you, Master!"

"Hmph. As if you really mean that. I was stuck in that other dimension and what did you do to get me out?" He leered, all knowing that Soun and Genma probably celebrated with sake and wine when they knew he was gone.

"There was nothing we could do." He groveled again, forcing his face into the soft earth hoping he could burrow a few thousand kilometers down.

I need to train him on how to be a better liar, thought the old fossil. Happosai shook his head in disgust at how pathetic his student had become. "Yeah, whatever you say. So, where's your partner in crime, Mr. Panda?"

"You-You don't know. Oh, you're not dead, of course you wouldn't know." He groveled again. "I beg your forgiveness, oh, Master."

"Rumors of my death were a bit premature. At least you can hold my funeral again, this time with my body in state and plenty of pretty ladies leaving me offerings." He zoned out, thinking about bras. A moment later, he snapped out of his wonderous daydream. "Now, on to business. Where exactly is Ranma and Akane staying?"

"They are in an apartment near Juuban High School." He gave him the address.

"I see. You'd better not be trying something. I'm off to my room. I'll got some things to do, people to see and some special things I need to iron!" He bounded off, and entered the back door to the house, out of sight.

Soun collapsed in terror. No! He couldn't be back. He was banished into that box. He saw for himself that Sailor Pluto took that thing away. Far away. Far, far away. Far, far, far away. But as before, he underestimated the Master. This was only an inconvenience for him and... Uh, oh...

**BOOM!** Soun was covered in soot as a firecracker that was left behind, exploded. He sat for a moment as he wondered about what horrible thing he must have done in a past life to deserve what he got in this one. A moment passed, and his recollection of his training regiment under the Master all but assured him that the next three lifetimes he would live would probably be worse than this one. He sighed in utter doom.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!" Came a scream from inside the house. "Soun! Where are my things!"

In seconds, Soun was at the entryway of Happosai's bedroom. From floor to ceiling were sample merchandise with the likeness' of Sailor Sun and Io and other Sailor Senshi. Nabiki had filled the room since she, like everyone else, had thought that the Master was never to return. That wasn't what angered the Master. He was kneeling over a empty hole in the floorboards. "Where is it?" He demanded angrily and glowed a bright red. He wasn't at all happy.

"Where is what, oh, great and powerful Master?" He was on his knees and bowing.

"Cut that out!" He shouted. "Where's my chest?"

Chest? Soun racked his brain trying to remember if he had seen a chest. Since the Master had gone, Cologne had visited, then Nabiki took over the room and... "I believe that Cologne took it."

"Damn! She would be an indian giver. No mind, I'll have to make do without it." He paused to look at a large poster on the wall. It was a picture of Sailor Io, throwing a ball of Lava. He studied the picture carefully.

Soun looked at the picture, then at the Master, not comprehending what was going on.

"That stance." Happosai made the same stance. "It's an Anything Goes stance. Why I'll be. I'm going to have a bit more fun than I imagined."

"Why, hello there, Grandfather." Kasumi appeared with a big tray of sandwiches and sake. "Welcome home!"

"Kasumi! It's so nice too..." Before the little creep could pounce, Kasumi shoved a sandwich into his mouth.

"I'll have your room straightened out before bedtime." Instantly, the eldest Tendo sister vanished. As she briskly walked back to the kitchen, she made the sign of the cross on her chest and held her hands in prayer.

"Mmm..." He removed the sandwich from his face and finished chewing the part that was still in his mouth. "My favorite. You could learn something from her. Now, I'm off and I expect my things to be exactly where I left them. And I do mean **everything.**" With that, the evil man jumped out the window and ran to the southeast, toward the Minato ward.

All Soun could think of at that moment was how lucky Genma was for running off with that strange artifact and angering that monster. If Genma was to die, he would no longer have to deal with the Master. He wondered if he could convince the woman eating Orochi if he could make an exception and eat him for breakfast.

* * *

"I'm home!" Mrs. Mizuno took off her shoes and placed them next to the front door of her little condominium. It was one of the few times she was able to get home early from her job at the hospital. She went straight to the kitchen to read any message that Ami left on the whiteboard on the refrigerator when a clicking sound attracted her attention. She heard the pages of a book being turned, then more clicking. It sounded like a computer keyboard, but it beeped like a calculator in sync to the clicking. There was only one computer that sounded like that. Her daughter must be up to something important if she was using that. 

Without hesistating, she opened the refrigerator and pulled out some of Ami's favorite foods. In a few minutes, she prepared a sandwich, a sliced apple and added a fresh cold juice box and lovingly placed them on a serving tray. She carried the meal down to her hard working daughter's bedroom. Tapping the door with her foot, she knocked gently to get her young girl's attention, "Ami? I've got something for you."

A hurried voice answered, "Could you leave it out the door? I'm a little busy right now."

Mrs. Mizuno smiled as she always did when her daughter was deep in study. She balanced her tray in a single hand and opened the door. As she suspected, Sailor Mercury was sitting at her daughter's desk instead of Ami in her school uniform. Mercury looked up to see her mother and smiled back. "Thank you."

Her mother placed the tray at the end of her daughter's desk. She stared at the Senshi with pride. She followed with a bit of dread, since her daughter rarely spent time in her Senshi form when she was home. Something very important was happenening to make her daughter risk being seen in her alternate guise. "What are you working on?"

The Senshi of Mercury sat back in her chair, exhausted. "I've been trying to find a cure for Ukyou's affliction."

"Affliction? What do you think she has?" Dr. Mizuno's professional curiosity was piqued. "If she's sick, why don't you have her come to the hospital? She'd receive the best of care, especially if you vouched for her."

"I wish it was that easy." She pressed some buttons on her Mercury computer and on the screen was the magical scan of Ukyou's aura. "I just can't figure out what's the next phase. It's like there's some sort of randomness controlling this."

"Ukyou, Ukyou, where have I heard that name before? Wasn't she the one that..." She gasped. It was the girl from Nerima who nearly died on her operating table from massive trauma and blood loss. It was when she was in recovery, the Senshi came and with their magic, they performed a miracle and healed her. "Her? What happened? I thought you cured her. Did she lose her leg again?"

Speaking in a calming voice, the young girl held up her computer for her mother to see. "No, she's not losing her leg, but something happened when we healed her. Look at this."

Dr. Mizuno read the information on the screen and was perplexed at what she saw. The scan was of a resolution that rivaled the best MRI she'd ever seen. There were areas that glowed that covered her lost leg and her hand, but the glow had leeched into the rest of woman's body much like the pattern of a cancer spreading into its host. She had enough experience to know that this wasn't a good sign. "What's happening to her? I take it it's serious."

She took back her computer and placed it on her desk. She tapped a few more keys and the image changed to one where the glow covered more of the chef's body. "This is what she looks like today. In the last week, it's grown twenty two percent and it's growing faster. At this rate, she'll be completely contaminated in a few days."

"What is this?" Dr. Mizuno read one of Ami's many notes she had laying on her desk and was even more confused. Medical arts, she was a master, but magic? That was something that was a bit out of her field.

"The only way to describe it is that it's our ki; our life energy. When we healed her, we gave a piece of ourselves, much like someone donating blood. We used that to reconstitute her body and heal her completely."

"And how is this affecting her? I assume she's not a Senshi."

"You're right about that Mother. She's not. But Sailor Saturn has healed many people and nothing like this has ever happened. It's like we triggered something, yet I can't figure out what it is."

Sitting down in the room's only other chair, Ami's mother crossed her legs and tried to think about the problem as only a trained professional would. Even though Ami had the brains for it, she didn't have the experience. "First, I need to know what's her symptoms. Maybe we can figure this out."

It was worth a shot. Maybe her mother could offer something new to look at that Ami hadn't thought of. Besides, she so rarely saw her mother lately, just being with her brought back fond memories of a happier time. A time when her father still lived with them and they did things together once in a while. Happily, she asked for the advice her mother was volunteering to give. "Let's see, she's manifesting behaviors from everybody who healed her. She's playing the violin, which was something she never did before. She's speaking perfect English and she made a cake that Sailor Jupiter makes all the time. It's as if a bit of each of us is inside her."

"I can see how that could affect her psyche. Has she seen a therapist? Perhaps that may be all she needs."

Mercury shook her head. "No, there's more to it than that." She pressed a few keys and an overlay appeared on Ukyou's silhouette. "This is my aura. When I asked her to solve a short math formula, this is what happened." She played an animation that had another girl's silhouette on top of Ukyou's, then it changed into one that was distinctly Ami's. "As you see, when she needs Mercury power, she tapped into my aura. It gave her the ability to think like me."

Taking it in, Dr. Mizuno sat there digesting what Ami said. "And, she can tap into the others as well?"

"Yes, I tested her and I was able to get everybody's aura, even Sailor Chibi Moon."

"From what little I know, it sounds more like this is a gift than a disease. What's the negative effects besides the psychological ones, unless it's the psychological issue you're addressing? If that's the case, I can refer her to a therapist."

"Therapy may be needed for her to cope in the long term. It's the short term that I'm worried about." She displayed the body glow again and animated it to the point where the glow covered her body. "This is forecast to occur in 48 hours. When it reaches one hundred percent, I'm afraid that the shock to her system will be too much for her."

"Shock? What shock?"

'Her heart rate, blood pressure, and EKG readings go haywire when her auras change. And they're changing more rapidly as time goes on." The blue skirted Senshi sulked. "There's so many variables, I wish I knew with certainty the outcome."

Speaking from experience, the elder nodded in acknowledgment. "Once, I was just like you."

Mercury raised an eyebrow. Was her mother trying to tell her that she was a Senshi too?

"When I was in college, I thought I knew everything. I was just starting my internship at the university hospital when I found out that despite everything I knew, everything I studied and everything I thought about medicine didn't mean a whole lot when compared to the healing power of the human body. I was so sure I had the answer to everything. I aced my tests, I listened to my teachers and when they brought this man into the hospital, everything I knew about science went out the window."

"Really?" Mercury was enthralled at her mother's story.

"Yes, really," she continued. "He was barely alive. He was a fireman who had fallen and he had numerous internal injuries. After he was stablized, everyone, including I, were convinced that his family should make plans for his funeral. He had no hope of surviving. His kidneys had failed, he was bleeding internally and he suffered brain trauma that even if his body recovered, he was already dead. And it was that night, my world changed."

"I was making the rounds, taking vital signs from all the patients, when I went into his room. He was lying there. His heart monitor was beeping, and I went to take his pulse when he spoke to me. Imagine that? A man who was brain dead, speaking to me as if nothing happened. Do you know what he said to me?"

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'Tell the building owner to fix the stairs, they seem to be broken.'" The doctor giggled.

Mercury couldn't help but giggle too.

"A few weeks later, he was checked out and in time, he fully recovered. Despite all that you know, and all that you've studied, never underestimate the power the human body has in repairing itself. Sometimes, miracles can happen on their own."

Sailor Mercury smiled back at her mother. She always knew what to say, mother's always did.

"I have faith, Mercury. I know you'll be able to help her, but don't keep the burden on yourself. She already survived the odds. When she was on my table, I didn't think she was going to make it either. But, she's a fighter. I think the odds are still in her favor. Besides..." A mischiveous twinkle gleamed in her eye. "I don't know how you girls recruit new members, but if anything, a girl with those abilities, could be a superhero, just like you."

Mercury sat in shock. Why didn't she think of that? After all, Akane was promoted to Senshihood, why couldn't they promote another? "I see your point." She jumped up and hugged her mother. "Thank you for helping me."

She returned the hug with as much enthusiasm as her daughter. "What are mothers for?"

"I've got to go! I've got meet my teammates." She grabbed her pocket computer and book bag.

"I think you'll need this." She held up the food tray.

Mercury blushed and picked up the sandwich and juice box. She stuffed the box into her bag and hurried into the kitchen to get a piece of wrapping paper. A moment later, Sailor Mercury headed toward the door.

Dr. Mizuno held out an umbrella for her daughter. "Forgetting something?"

Mercury paused in confusion. "It's not supposed to rain today, is it?"

The good doctor opened the umbrella and several roses popped out.

"Oh." Mercury dropped her senshi guise so she could travel to Rei's shrine without being assulted by every hormone drenched male along the way. "Remind me to kill Tatewaki Kuno."

* * *

"I am Kunoichi Konatsu and I am in hell." 

The little kunoichi shivered in the corner of her dark, dismal and depressing cave, isolated from any human contact. The dripping of water from the condensation from the ceiling above was her only companion. There were iron bars mounted on a sliding door that covered the entrance to her cell. Her ego was so shattered, that she had no will to even try to break the bars. Curled up into a fetal position to conserve warmth, the girl made a fresh row of tears to add to the small puddle that had formed under her head.

She wore a simple white robe, with black trim and nothing else. Her hair, once glistening with pride and joy, now was a matted tangled mess. Her makeup was smeared and ran down her face, following the water trails coming from her eyes. Her usual clothes were somewhere else, or destroyed, or lost. She didn't know. All she could remember was waking up in here after a long hard battle, a splash, then doom.

She sniffed again in sorrow, coughing out the musty dust that filled the room giving it the scent of a bag of dirty socks that have over ripened in the noonday sun.

She blinked her eyes to clear out the dust, trying to focus on anything in the darkness. Only the reflections of light coming from the guard room down a corridor beyond her reach illuminated the chamber, giving it an atmosphere that rivaled a haunted house.

"Oh, Ukyou-sama... I miss you." The kunoichi softly spoke to the flies that buzzed around her. She felt her new chest and wept again. "What am I?" Her frame was slightly smaller and her body was mostly the same except for her breasts and what was missing between her legs.

She softly wept as her dreams washed away with her tears. "How will she love me now?"

She closed her eyes and tried to remember. How did this happen? She was a genius kunoichi, one that comes every one hundred years. Yet, she was defeated. How was this possible?

The memories returned, and she immediately wished she could forget.

* * *

Kiima stood in a fog enshrouded clearing waiting in anticipation. She glanced over to a patch of grass that was depressed slightly than the rest of the terrain and made a soft smile. A murder of crows formed a black cloud just over the horizon, and it was getting closer. 

The Captain of Phoenix Mountain checked her sword. She pulled it from its sheath only a few centimeters and quickly pushed the blade back into place, satisfied that the weapon was available should the need arise. Considering her opponent, that need was soon. She gave a call back to the approaching crows and they responded in kind one thousand fold.

The cloud of crows descended rapidly and landed twenty meters ahead of Kiima. No sooner did they land, they flew off into the sky in thousands of directions. Where they touched down, a lone body lay on the ground. Kiima held her hand on the hilt of her sword. She had underestimated her opponent before, this time, she won't repeat her mistake.

Minutes passed, and the person on the grass didn't move at all. Kiima stood still, not taking her eyes off of her quarry believing this could be some sort of trick. After ten minutes of waiting, Kiima tried another tactic. "I know you can hear me. Get up."

Konatsu stayed motionless, dead to the world. Kiima wasn't buying it. She nodded at one of her companions, an archer sitting on a hill. He pulled his bow and took aim. Kiima raised her other hand and kept the open palm facing her archer. She waited another precious minute, then closed her hand into a fist. The archer released his arrow and it took flight. Kiima lowered her arm and watched her prey intently for his next move.

Move he did. An instant before the arrow was to pierce his heart, the kunoichi rolled on the grass and got to his feet. He spun in a three sixty and counted his foes. Three on the hills above, armed with bows. Four with swords blocking the exit of the shallow valley he was in and Kiima alone guarded the other way out. The terrain was strange. There were sharp craggy rocks everywhere and tall spires of rough stone made from a dark material. The area was high in the mountains with thousands of peaks dotting the landscape. Numerous overhangs protruded from the walls of the valley and in the valley ahead. This couldn't be Japan, China maybe?

It didn't matter where he was at the moment. What concerned him was the fight at hand and Kiima was the only one who was close enough for combat. All the others were at least one hundred meters away, He bounced off the ground and leapt high into the air. He threw folded paper napkins as little darts at Kiima for his opening salvo.

Smiling, Kiima unsheathed her sword and blocked the attack. The darts bounced harmlessly off of her blade except the last one. It was a lit stick of dynamite. That one exploded and shoved the warrior backwards.

Konatsu had to pull back from his attack. Arrows from three directions approached him and he barely was able to dodge them all. The archers reloaded and took aim again. Konatsu patted his robes and found that he used up all the dynamite he had. He rummaged around his pockets and found a bottle of sake. He put that back because Ukyou would be angry with him if he wasted a perfectly good beverage. He produced some shurikens and threw them at the closest archer. The Bird Warrior ducked to keep himself from getting impaled. As the discs flew past, he stood up to reacquire his target when the discs struck him from behind, throwing him down onto the steep hillside. Before he could grab on to something, the soft earth gave way and the archer slid down the hillside, covered in mud.

One down, seven to go, thought Konatsu. He jumped to the side to avoid a pair of arrows from skewering him. He did a back flip to avoid a slash from Kiima's sword. He landed on his feet and faced the white haired warrior. "Why?" was all he could ask.

Kiima slashed again with her sword and pressed her attack. She swung her sword, stepping forward with each strike, not giving any ground. The kunoichi had to keep dodging backwards to avoid a fatal blow. Kiima wore a mask of hatred as she kept spinning her sword, pushing the kunoichi backwards.

Pressing her advance, Kiima spun her sword faster as if it was a food processor and Konatsu was the vegetable she intended to mince. The kunoichi kept running backwards, dodging an occasional arrow when he lunged backwards and did a series of back flips on his hands and feet, traveling fifty meters in a matter of seconds. He landed and assumed a crane stance, then he arched his back to let another arrow fly over his chest and he returned to his stance holding his gaze at his main opponent.

Stopping her charge at the edge of the indentation in the grass, the Captain muttered under her breath. "Impossible. How did she?" She took a moment to test the ground with her boot and it gave way as she put a small amount of pressure on it. She looked up at her quarry only to be greeted by several folded napkins aimed her head. Taken by surprise, both by Konatsu's ability to traverse a trap and his counter attack, she fell backwards with her face covered in napkins. Regaining her senses, she rolled to the side to avoid another barrage and shouted to her troops. "Get her!"

On command, a full dozen more archers appeared on each side of the valley and took aim. Konatsu took stock of the situation and did what any sane warrior would do. He ran for the unguarded exit of the valley, dodging arrows all the way.

Kiima wiped the napkins off of her face and ran after her prey. In a moment she exited through the pass and entered the adjacent valley. This one was much different than the one she came from, it was populated by over one hundred springs, and several hundred bamboo poles of heights ranging from a few meters to over twenty. The ground was shrouded in mist and hopping from pole to pole was her target. She spread her wings and flew into the air, determined not to let this girl get away from her.

Konatsu effortlessly leapt from pole to pole, trying to gain distance between himself and that crazy warrior. He turned in mid-air as his senses felt a change in air pressure. He landed on another pole and assumed a crane stance and watched as Kiima flew through the area he once occupied and straight down toward a pool of water. In a shocking display of agility, Kiima spread her legs wide apart and stopped herself only centimeters from the surface of the water. She spun her head up and looked at Konatsu with primeval fury. She opened her wings further and flapped with all her might, making sure that none of her body touched the water below.

She's afraid of the water? surmised Konatsu. Why? He flipped backwards with a skill that surpassed Olympic gymnasts. Jumping off the pole he was on, he landed on a small sign that marked a pool of water in the rough shape of a trapezoid. There, he assumed another crane stance and watched his opponent fly over him and bank sharply. Waiting a moment, his eyes followed her flight until she turned again. Kiima contracted her wings and dived at a forty five degree angle, determined to knock the kunoichi off of the sign and into the ground behind it. Konatsu braced himself for the impact and moved his arms so he could catch Kiima when they collided. For some reason, the sign under Konatsu gave way and he tumbled. He twisted his body to control his fall and he landed at the rim of the pool. He then flattened himself on the ground, narrowly missing the Kiima missile. The white haired bird woman struck the ground hard, making a small crater and showering the kunoichi with small rocks.

He pushed the ground to stand back up when another strange thing happened. The earth gave way and fell directly into the spring, threatening to take the kunoichi with it. He spun in the air, rolling like a log up the rapidly shrinking embankment until he was safe on the grass again. No sooner did he find safety, he used the soles of his feet to anchor himself and bent his knees to slide his upper body away from a sword impact. Kiima screamed. "Die!"

She's really pissed off! Konatsu thought, leaping up onto a tall bamboo pole to put some distance between himself and the woman who wanted him stone cold dead. He looked around for a way to escape as he heard Kiima's troops approach. He looked high above and spied a rock outcropping just within leaping distance. It was going to be a difficult jump, but he had no choice. He bent his knees to thrust himself forward when the pole gave way. Below Kiima retracted her sword from the pole she just sliced in two and held the blade over her head so she could impale the kunoichi as he fell. She gave a look of surprise as the pole moved into the center of the pool and it made contact with the bottom and the kunoichi was still dry as a bone, three meters above the surface of the water.

Kiima screamed in rage and threw her sword into the pole, slicing it again. This time Konatsu had a better plan. He dove straight down into the water and disappeared under the surface. Kiima growled and looked around for anything she could use as a weapon. Finding a large rock, she picked it up and held it above her head and looked into the water, trying to locate her enemy.

A bamboo pole sprung up out of the water, one end firmly attached to the bottom of the pool, the other moving rapidly like a spring. It moved at high speed, directly at her head and as luck would have it, it shattered her rock instead of causing serious harm. She fell backwards from the force of the impact and she scrambled to find another weapon. The moment she found another rock, Konatsu burst from the pool, holding the other half of the bamboo pole as a weapon. She landed at Kiima's feet and wobbled a bit out of balance. She paused and looked down at her chest.

"An opening!" Kiima acted immediately. She hurled the rock at the distracted kunoichi and it connected with her head, sending her flying backwards.

She landed with a thud and she flipped upright a second later. She wobbled, adjusting to her new center of gravity when a little girl's voice called out, "Happo Fifty Yen Satsu!"

I should have seen that coming, was the last thing Konastu thought before she shriveled up and fell into the same pool she emerged from. As Kiima stood up, her troops arrived and surrounded the pool as Konatsu's body floated up to the surface, face down.

"Fish her out!" She commanded. Her body was covered in small wounds and she was sure she had to have some internal injuries. She couldn't believe that bitch in the water was able to land several blows before she went down. She hoped she was still physically able to complete her mission. Maybe she could use these injuries to her advantage? "Make sure she's bound tight." Her minions produced a fishing net and cast it into the spring. Kiima stood silently as Konatsu was pulled out of the spring and dragged on the grass. She casually told her troops, "You know what to do."

Kiima limped calmly to the other side of the spring and picked up her sword that lay among the grass and a broken sign. She slid her sword back into the sheath and picked up the wooden message. She looked around to make sure there were no other visitors in the area and when she was satisfied that there was no immediate danger, she placed the sign back into its proper place. She read the sign and gave out a laugh. "You lucky girl. Of all the springs you could have fallen into, you picked the only one that was harmless to you." With that, she left the spring labeled, 'Nyannichuan'.

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and prevents me from voting Republican. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
July 13th, 2007

* * *


	17. Reunion

Sailor Ranko - Thrice in a Millennium  
Chapter 17: Reunion

By Rebecca Ann Heineman

I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me go postal.

* * *

"I've got the radar telemetry. They back up your claims perfectly." 

"Are you sure this will work?"

Mr. Anzai, a tall, sharply dressed and very expensive lawyer placed his hands on his desk and held a smug look. He was reeking in confidence. Behind him, were dozens of awards, signed photos of him standing next to Japanese celebrities and politicians and a katana with a placard of gratitude. His office was immaculate and the furniture was made of the finest handcrafted redwood. "With all the facts I have and evidence at my disposal, it's an open and shut case. Unless Nabiki Tendo magically turned twenty before she had those contracts signed, I can get them invalidated on those grounds alone."

"And what about the Sailor Senshi? Do they have any claims they could use to cause me trouble?" Hiro, the former head of the Sailor Moon Fan Club asked nervously.

"That's why I'm certain you've got a rock solid case. I wouldn't have taken it unless I was sure of victory." He typed a few keys on the computer keyboard on his desk and a document with images of the Sailor Senshi appeared on his giant LCD screen, another testament to the man's wealth. "None of these girls except for the one called Sailor Pluto look like they were twenty years old or older. And for any of them to issue a legally binding challenge, they have to identify themselves in court. No super-hero would risk blowing their secret identity, even for money. So, unless they are willing to let the whole world know who they really are, they'll keep out of this."

His tone went from smugness, to serious business. "As my client, I need you to be on your best behavior from now on. No talking to the press, no public statements and no interference with the operations of the firm. Let Ms. Tendo dig her own grave. Under your leadership, all the works your firm have done have been respectful of the Sailor Senshi, and that will win over public opinion to your side. We cannot allow Ms. Tendo to gain favor from the judge on those grounds. That Kuno incident is the only issue that harms our case."

"I had no idea that guy was going to go on national TV and proclaim that book as fact."

"And that's what I'm going to argue in case that's brought up in court. Since my interview with him, there's no problem for me to make a strong case to support your claims. He was rather delusional and from what I've gathered from my sources, he's already on shaky ground due to his family's eccentricity. He's a non-issue." He waved a hand dismissively. "You founded the firm. You raised the funds for the firm and by the law, you should control the firm. That little stunt by Sailor Sun is cause for extortion. Now, a probable public backlash prevents me from bringing a case against her, but Ms. Tendo was responsible for causing Ms. Sun to harass you as she did. Extortion carries a heavy fine and a long prison sentence, and once I prove that Ms. Tendo had no legal basis on taking responsibility for the firm or Ms. Sun's actions forced you to sign that contract, it will be invalidated and Ms. Tendo will be behind bars." With a evil twinkle in his eye, he added, "or worse."

"I can see why you came highly recommended."

Mr. Anzai reclined in his leather office chair with his hands behind his head, totally relaxed and playfully thought about what to do with the money he was going to earn from this case. "It's just me against an egotistical high school student who somehow made contact with the Sailor Senshi. Since the law is on our side, she doesn't stand a chance."

For the first time since signing over his company to a teenager, Hiro smiled.

* * *

The skies above the Bayankala mountains in China were crystal clear and tall peaks dotted the landscape for kilometers in every direction. The pilot changed his heading and flew between two tall cliffs, narrowly missing one of them. He slowly turned the wheel and a few kilometers ahead lay a tiny airport with a landing strip made of dirt. He reached over and activated the intercom. "Please buckle your seat-belts, we'll be landing shortly." He flicked the switch to deactivate the speakers behind him when the switch popped off in his hand with a small snap. He shrugged, tossed the broken plastic aside and said, "oops." 

Akane and Ukyou exchanged nervous glances when they heard the pilot's boo boo. The plane was tiny, only large enough for five passengers and a pilot. The copilot's seat and the other two passenger seats were filled with boxes marked 'Fragile' and 'This Side Up' and the arrows were pointing downward. The empty space in the back of the plane was filled with boxes, bales, a barrel and other assorted cargo. Two chickens roamed free next to the broken crate they had emerged from. The plane vibrated and the noise of the engines buzzed as if they were powered by bumblebees. Akane reached down to her lap and found one half of the seat belt buckled to the remains of the other half. That half, was shredded and connected to the buckle, not the seat. In frustration, the girl tossed the useless seat belt away.

Ukyou attempted to buckle her seat-belt, only to find that the catch wouldn't hold. She pushed the two ends together harder only to cause the cheap buckle to disintegrate in her hands. A spring popped out and bounced off the roof of the cabin. Ukyou's gaze followed the spring as it ricocheted around and disappeared somewhere in the back. Ukyou crossed her arms as if the act would offer any protection in a crash. And the way the plane was lurching, that crash was about to occur momentarily. She turned her head to face her traveling companion. "Akane, could you transform in a plane?"

Producing her transformation pen from nowhere, she anxiously replied. "I don't know. Maybe, but I don't know what good it will do."

Ukyou had a look of hope in her eyes and tried to remember how it felt to teleport. Ranma had taken her to a hospital that way, but she was too preoccupied with staying alive, that she couldn't recall everything clearly. A part of her knew exactly what to do, what words to say and how to focus her magic. Pity, it was only wishful thinking on her part. Then again, she was sitting next to a Sailor Senshi and who knew what tricks they had hidden in their gloves. "Well, can you do that flashy thingy that Ranma Honey does?"

Akane flinched at the casual way Ukyou used the word 'Honey', but decided to let it slip, for now. She grew envious, then resentful. "No, all I have is one attack spell. That jerk got all the good stuff."

"What good stuff, Sugar?" Ukyou asked, trying to keep her mind off the way the plane pulled up out of a dive.

"Not much, only that he can teleport by himself, shoot laser beams and nuke a city." The plane shuddered and tilted to the left, causing Akane to hold on again and in surprise, a box flew out of nowhere and knocked her pen out of her hand. She fumbled a moment, trying to catch it when Ukyou snatched it from flying into the back and held it tight against her chest.

Pulling the wheel back, the pilot happily exclaimed, "Bonzai!" He was having far too much fun, much to his passengers dismay.

Akane and Ukyou gripped their seats tight. Akane's armrests were crushed by her iron grip and she held onto the remains since there wasn't anything else left to hold on to. Ukyou tensed up and directed her attention to the lunatic behind the controls. "Man, that guy's nuts." The plane leveled out and started to descend in a more controlled manner. As the flight smoothed out, she added. "But then, you'd have to be to fly here."

"Where exactly are we going?"

"We're landing... I hope... at an airstrip just south of Mount Kensei. It's pretty close to where Ranchan picked up his curse. It just so happens to be near where they took Konatsu."

Ukyou held up Akane's artifact tightly in her grasp. She gazed at the golden shine the pen gave off. She could almost see flames shimmering within. For some reason, Ukyou wanted to hold it above her and say something, she knew the words. It beckoned her, called her. Grasping it tightly, she closed her eyes and felt the power within herself welling up, taking her, freeing her. Planets, stars, the cosmos, were all there, channeling their power through her. It was beyond the most powerful feeling she had ever experienced, imagined or could have even conceived. And among all the celestial bodies, one called out to her, louder than the others. She tried to focus on it, but it faded away in a blur, only to be replaced with a sharp pain coming from her scalp.

"Are you okay?" Akane almost screamed as she yanked Ukyou back down into her seat as the plane bumped again into turbulence. Keeping her in place, the plane shuddered and the Tendo closed her eyes in fright. "Hold on!"

"No worries!" said the pilot in a bored manner. He was relaxing at the controls and acted if the plane coming apart at the seams was a daily encounter. "We'll be landing... Now." In sync with his last word, the sound of tires coming in contact with soft earth came from below. Instantly, the plane stabilized as it slowed down.

"Ouch!" Ukyou rubbed her head with her free hand. "What happened?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing. And by the way, do you mind?" Akane held out her hand expectantly.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." She sheepishly offered the pen back. As Akane pulled on it, the chef held it for a second, reluctant to give it up. After the second tug, she let it go and Akane made it vanish into thin air. Ukyou patted the top of her head, feeling for where she had hurt herself. "I hope that doesn't leave a mark."

"What happened to you? You kind of zoned out." She gestured with her thumb toward the cockpit. "Then that crackpot hit a bump and up you went."

"A bump? More like he's playing bumper cars with this thing." She rubbed her hand on her head gently. A wave of calm came over the tall girl, and her hand emitted a yellow glow. A few seconds later, she felt fine.

Akane's eyes bugged out. That wasn't any ki manipulation she had even seen, and she had seen quite a few of them. That glow looked exactly like Hotaru's and that was magical in nature. Almost stuttering, she asked, "how did you?"

"How did I what, Sugar?" Ukyou nonchalantly put her hand down and looked around her seat for anything that could have fallen from her pockets. She was completely oblivious to how incredible her power was as far as Akane was concerned.

"That..." Akane bit her lip, not knowing what to say. How could she explain that Ukyou appeared to have healed herself with Hotaru's special power? Could it be that Ukyou was a Senshi? The thought crossed Akane's mind, but that was impossible. She'd know about it, wouldn't she? She had to talk to the others when she got back to Japan about this. It was just too weird, even for someone from Nerima. With a jerk, the plane turned to the right as it taxied off the runway, making a creaking noise not unlike the sound of a wing about to snap from massive metal fatigue.

"Oh, that." Ukyou stared at her hand. "I've been able to do that for over a week now. Ever since you, Ranchan and everyone helped me. I've never been able to tell you how much I appreciated that." She opened and closed her healed hand, marveling at how flawless it was. She gave a smile of genuine gratitude.

"But..." The Tendo sat there open mouthed, not understanding the scope of Ukyou's gift. "You can heal people?"

"Yeah, but nothing big you know, I can fix little things, like scratches and bruises. I know it made Ko-chan feel better after we got a little rowdy with our training. All I know is that it comes and goes and it's really getting on my nerves." Thoughts of Sailor Mercury's dire predictions clouded her mind, and she immediately pushed them away. She had to be in China and thinking about dying wasn't on her to-do list today. "Anyways, I think it's time we get out of this death trap. Don't you agree?"

"No kidding." Akane reached behind her seat to grab her backpack.

The pilot turned off his engine, and it kept running for a moment, spitting out smoke and backfiring. Once it stopped making popping sounds, he turned to his two passengers with a smile. "Here we are, the Bayankala mountains." The pilot pulled the brake lever which came off in his hand. He tossed the useless lever aside and he reached over to the door and instead of pulling the lever on it, he pulled the door itself, opening it with little effort. "I hope you fly with me again."

Ukyou softly spoke to her friend. "If we do find Ranchan, do you think he'd mind giving us a lift home?"

Akane nodded back. "I'd insist on it."

They grabbed all of their things and quickly disembarked the plane, resisting the urge to bow down and worship the ground. The moment they were outside, they picked up the pace to get as far away from the plane as they could without running. Akane shook her head. "Honestly, you'd think he could have landed the plane without screaming, 'Bonzai'?"

Ukyou adjusted the straps on her backpack. She took her giant spatula and firmly attached it to her back and she was ready to get to the next leg of their journey. "Who'd of thought that it'd be some crazed Japanese pilot who'd fly people into the middle of China? C'mon, I gotta find Ko-chan. Something's telling me we gotta hurry."

Akane checked her backpack and walked with Ukyou alongside her. Both women took fives steps before stopping together. They looked at each other, then back toward the plane. An uneasy moment passed, then both shrugged and they continued on their way to the single room shack that passed for the airport terminal.

"Where to now?"

Ukyou pulled out her travel list and checked the next entry. "We've got to walk a kilometer into town, and there's we can hire a guide who'll take us to Jusenkyo. However, according to Shampoo's father's map, we've got to go north instead of south.

"North sounds better to me. As long as we don't go near those springs, the better."

"You said it Sugar, I ain't planing on picking up a curse while I'm here. Are you sure Ranchan doesn't want us to pick up some Nannichuan while we're here?"

Akane glared at Ukyou as if she just insulted her mother's honor. Speaking slowing and coldly, she answered in a tone that left no room for argument. "Positive."

Ukyou shook her head in dismay. Only a few months ago, Ranma would have almost killed someone for a dive into the Spring of Drowned Man. It was amazing how things can do an one eighty and now Ranma would almost kill anyone who got any of that water anywhere near him. C'est la vie, sighed Ukyou. Looking back at the instructions, she noted the direction and the road. She pointed toward the town nearby. "That's where we're going. It won't take long to get there."

"Good, because I'm getting tired and it's getting dark."

"Let's find out if there's a hotel here. I could use a bit of rest too." The chef yawned. "I had no idea that traveling was so tiring."

Akane glanced back at the tiny plane, "or terrifying."

"Amen to that."

Back at the plane, the pilot waved to three men who were approaching. He climbed back into the aircraft and started to toss out the boxes, crates and bags of rice out door. In a few minutes, he had everything unloaded except for one last item, a large heavy barrel filled with rice wine. He gripped the side of the barrel and tried to move it. It wouldn't budge. He shoved the barrel using his shoulders and it still wouldn't move. Sighing, he exited the plane and went to check on the cargo he had already dropped off.

Ten seconds after the pilot had left, the lid of the barrel popped open and a little black pig popped out. "Bwee!" It landed on the ground and lazily walked in a circle three times before it fell over with a huge smile on its face. A white duck jumped out of the barrel as well and it spread its wings, and flew straight into the roof of the aircraft and hit the ceiling with a loud clang. X's formed in its eyes as it flopped unconscious on the floor.

A red haired girl was the final occupant of the barrel and she stood up wearing a goofy grin. She giggled as she held her hand to her chest and played with a non-existent brooch. "Tee hee! I'm Sailor Moon!" She lifted herself out of the barrel only to fall forward and land face first on the floor next to the pig and duck. Laughing at some unheard joke, she rolled around until she went straight out the door, fell outside and ended up lying face up on the grass.

"What the?" The pilot watched in dismay as a young girl collapsed next to his plane. His face clenched in anger. "Get away from there!"

He marched up to his plane and stood between it and the girl on the ground. The small twin engine aircraft that was mint condition possibly fifty years ago but was more like a refugee from a junkyard. Despite its condition, it was the man's pride and joy and he rubbed the wing lovingly. "There, there, she didn't hurt you did she?" He looked down at the drunk girl and his face changed from love to hate. He bent down and tried to grab the red-haired girl by the collar of her Chinese shirt to drag her away from his treasured plane. Just before he was about to make contact, the girl rolled to the side. He reached again and missed. He tried a third time to grab her and he missed. He suddenly realized that this girl was on his plane and he grew angrier. "Hey! You're a stowaway! Nobody rides for free! You pay me!" He tried to grab her again, and he still couldn't get a grip on her.

A noise from inside the plane distracted the pilot and he went inside to find an almost empty barrel, a spinning piglet and a dead duck. He turned back to the sleeping girl and then spotted the men who were almost at the cargo. He glanced at the barrel, and then his watch and cursed. "Fine, I don't have time for this. You're taking the rap." He picked up the now light weight barrel and placed it with the rest of the unloaded cargo. "I think your dinner would be better off with me." With that, he slammed the door shut. The engines started and the plane began to taxi down the runway.

"Yeah, Mom, all the girl's wear these... Zzzz..." Droned Ranko, peacefully sleeping off the beverage she drank. She turned over to avoid the rear of the plane from bumping into her as it rolled away. "It's so manly..."

A blast of air from the engines woke Ranko up. Her eyes blinked and she yawned and stretched, and her smile only got wider. The plane's engines roared louder, startling the girl and she jumped up into a combat stance, then wobbled for a moment as the alcohol worked its dark magic on her balance. Some semblance of reason came into her mind as the memories of her traveling companions came back to her full force. She slurred out their names. "Ryyyoga? Mooouuusse? Where are you two?" She spun around, looking in all directions and spotted the barrel they had travelled in. She relaxed her stance and approached the barrel with a slight stagger in her step. "There you are."

Slowly, she lurched over to the rim of the barrel and peered inside. "Hey, porky! Come out, come out, wherever... you... uh, oh..." There was nothing in the barrel except a cloth bag, soaked in sake, that contained their clothes. "Where'd you go, Pork Butt? Hic." Ranko held her hand to her face in a ladylike fashion to cover up her hiccup. "Excuse me."

She pulled the bag out of the barrel and wrung it to get most of the sake out. She opened the bag and quickly closed it after almost behing overwhelmed by the alcoholic vapors. When the world stopped spinning, she slowly panned her head to get an idea of where she was.

She was in a hill with a flat top that had an airstrip. About five hundred meters away were two people, women probably, walking away from her toward a small hut next to a tall pole that had a wind sock billowing in a light breeze. It was a bit cold and all around her were giant craggy mountains made of rough black stone with the tips covered in snow. Everywhere, green grass covered the ground. The air was crisp and clean and it smelled like spring. Next to her was a pile of cargo and beyond it were three Chinese men who looked really angry and were coming in fast. Ranko recognized that look. It was the same look that she and her father got when something bad happened and she got the blame. Now, it appeared to be a good time to execute that famed Saotome Fast Break Technique of running like hell.

She didn't get very far. She took a step and tripped, falling flat on her face. Rolling over, she was able to gaze as the dusky sky and saw a plane whiz by overhead. "Flying! Whee!" She pulled out her transformation pen and cried out. "Sun Star Power! Make Up!" In a flash, she transformed into Sailor Sun and she closed her eyes and focused on flying, paying attention to the plane that caught her attention. In her mind's eye she saw the inside of the plane, a happy pilot, a duck in a crate and a pig in a box. Uh, oh, that's not good.

"Where did she go?" Came a voice from the other side of the cargo.

Another voice replied. "She's hiding back there."

A man came around and saw Sailor Sun. He stopped and looked around for the girl he was after. He didn't see her, but this oddly dressed girl was probably involved. "Who's she? Is she a friend of hers?"

The other two men appeared and noticed her strange clothes. "I'd be careful with her, she might be one of them."

"I don't care. You! What did you do with my sake?" shouted an angry Chinese man as he looked into the barrel and wasn't happy with what he saw inside, or for that matter, what wasn't inside. "You're going to pay for that!"

"Tee hee," giggled Sun. "I'm Sailor Moon! I don't have to pay for nothin'! Hee hee!"

"She's plastered," said another Chinese man "Now we know what happened to our sake.".

"She's cute," said the third. "I wonder if she's single?"

"Do you think she's one of them Amazons?" asked the second.

"She's dressed kooky enough to be one." The third man looked in the barrel and sighed. "She drank all the sake!"

"Well, she's going to pay for it. Come here." He reached over to grab her arm to help her up when she raised her arm and pulled it down as if she yanked on an unseen cord.

"Sun Beam Transport!" In a bright flash of yellow-orange light, she disappeared.

"What the heck?" cried out the startled man as he jumped back in fright. "It's just my luck. She's one of those Amazons."

"It looks like I'll have to lodge a complaint about this. Those broads have been getting away with too much as it is."

His companions nodded and they picked up their cargo and placed it on the cart they had brought with them.

Somewhere, high above the airstrip, a lone pilot hummed a merry tune as he held a lever in place. The plane shuddered and rocked as it climbed higher. He turned to the east and kept the plane level as best as he could, and planned a course home. Beside him, was a small crate that once held a chicken, but now held a groggy, tipsy duck. Between the seats was a black piglet, with its legs tied together with a black and yellow bandanna. The pig snored, completely ignorant of the fate that awaited it. The pilot glanced at his dinner with a happy feeling since he was going to eat well tonight. Shall it be sweet and sour duck for the main course, or roast pig? The choices were almost endless. He thoughtfully wondered if it was better to sell them and use the money to repair his aircraft, but decided that his baby wouldn't let him down after all these years of neglect. He could do one more load before taking it in to get the frayed control line replaced.

A bright flash came from the back of the plane, startling the pilot. He nearly dropped the lever that was keeping the throttle from shutting down the engine. He listened carefully and heard the motor making its usual sputtering sound since he was too lazy to replace the two spark plugs that were misfiring from time to time. He turned around and gasped. On the floor, in the cargo area, was a red haired girl wearing a really pretty dress and her legs were facing him. His nose developed a drop of blood as he kept his eyes on what appeared to be her panties. He shook his head to see if it was a dream. Nope, she was still there and she was lifting her arms up, then putting them down so her body looked like the shape of the letter T. A small giggle came from the girl and she was amusing herself. "I'm flying!"

Indeed, thought the pilot. He checked the autopilot and was about to turn it on when he saw that the switch to enable it has long since fallen off. "Drat," he cursed. There wasn't any way he could go back there right now and check on his uninvited guest. He pondered the problem for a moment and an idea hit him. He jammed the lever into the throttle and slowly removed his hand from it. It stayed in place. He took his seat belt ribbon and tied it to the wheel so it wouldn't move. Carefully getting out of the seat, he moved the box with the duck into his seat and slid it under the wheel to keep it motionless. He stood back for a moment and the plane stayed on course. With that, he quickly darted to the back to see if the girl could use some tender loving care from an old pervert.

He stood over the girl and she ignored him. She was move focused on playing with her hands, making shadow puppets, than anything else that was around her. He took off his pilot's cap and bowed to her. "Hello there, pretty lady."

That woke her up somewhat. She jumped up and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. "Not today you ol' freak!" Her free hand made a fist and she was about to punch the living daylights out of him when she blinked her eyes a few times and regained focus. "Wait, you're not him. Oh, yeah, he ain't around anymore, I think." Confusion was evident on the Senshi's face as she tried to figure out just where she was and who she was threatening to beat into a bloody pulp. Slowly, she felt a bit of vertigo as the world seemed to be tilting to the right. She let go of the man and placed her hands on the low ceiling to try to steady herself.

"No, no, no!" The pilot crawled for a step, then got up as best as he could to get back to the controls. As soon as he was in the cockpit, He found that the duck had woken up and had escaped the crate. Without his weight, the box was too light to keep the wheel steady. He grabbed the wheel and turned it to the left. The plane slowed its list but it kept tilting to the right. Panicked, he turned the wheel farther but the seat belt blocked his motion. A quack came from below the seat and the horrified pilot saw that the duck was pecking the foot pedals that controlled the tail. "Stop that!"

"Hey, Porky! Whatcha doing there?" Sailor Sun picked up P-Chan who slid from the front of the plane to where she was as it pitched upward. "Tell ya what, I'll get you to Jusenkyo in a jiffy. Wouldn't you like that? I'll fix ya right up, Here, I'll show ya." She raised her arm to prepare her spell, only to have her fist clang against the roof. Unsteadly, she tried again to move her arm into position, only to find she couldn't stay still long enough to focus her magic. She felt dizzy and she remembered that it was getting dark. She place her free hand against the wall and closed her eyes to focus on her teleportation target. She saw the Tendo's home, her apartment in Juuban, the restaurant where she worked and there, she saw a large wok being used to prepare some beef teriyaki. She opened her eyes just as P-Chan was about to throw up. "Oops, I ain't taking you there. I know!" She burped and giggled and staggered toward the cockpit.

The pilot hurriedly grabbed the duck crate and it fell apart in his hand. With one hand on the wheel, he used his free hand to slide off the wood shards until the seat was empty of the larger pieces. He slid back into his seat and shoved the wheel forward to correct the pitch, hoping he was in time to prevent a stall. He yelped in pain as the duck on the floor clamped his bill on the pilot's left shin.

Grimicing in pain, he untied the seat belt and threw it aside, only to hear a high pitched voice scream. "Ouch!"

Sailor Sun rubbed her eye. "Watch where you're throwin' that, will ya?"

"Who in the heck are you? How did you get here?"

Sailor Sun stared straight ahead. "Boy, that's really big."

The pilot looked out the front windshield and gasped at the huge peak that was straight ahead. He jerked the wheel to the left putting the plane in a violent turn and it missed the mountain by a few meters.

Shoved against the window, Sun saw below a familiar mist shrouded valley. There was over one hundred pools, and over a thousand bamboo poles dotting the floor and a wave of fear encompassed the girl. There it was. The place where everything began. The one spot in the world where once, she wanted to return to, and now wanted to avoid for the rest of her life. Clarity formed in the girl's mind. She held P-Chan tight. "I'll pay you back, Ryoga."

As the man fought with the controls, Sun looked around for her other travelling companion. "Mousse! Where are you? We're here!"

"My name isn't Mousse. It's Juro." He adjusted the throttle and kept the plane steady. "Is that your pig? Who was that other girl? Is she a friend of yours?"

"Oh, was she flat chested, strong as an ox and twice as ugly?" Sun wobbled in her chair as the alcohol got a second wind and played pachinko with her brain. "That's Akane all right and P-Chan here, is her widdle piggy."

"You and your friend owe me some money for sneaking on my plane. Cough it up or when I land, I'm calling the cops."

Sailor Sun stiffened. "Okay, if that's the way you wanna play it." She reached down and grabbed Mousse the duck who just poked his head out from under the pilot's seat. "This is where I get off." She grabbed the door and popped it open.

"Wait!" The pilot tried to stop her, but it was too late. The girl and her animals disappeared into the icy cold wind outside. The door slammed shut from the air pressure and he shook his head in fright. "I don't have a skydiving license. I hope they don't pin this on me."

Moments ago, Ukyou felt a tremor and turned to Akane. Akane felt the same feeling and both girls looked in the direction they were drawn to. The terminal shack blocked the view since they had already walked to the far side of it when the urge to turn around hit them. They hurriedly ran around the building to see three men loading boxes onto a large cart. The feeling had already vanished, so the men weren't keeping their attention anymore. Akane opened her mind and used her enhanced senses to find anything out of the ordinary. She came up empty.

Ukyou did the same, and she picked up a magic signature nearby. There was a familiarity to it. Happily, she exclaimed. "Ranchan!" She ran forward, leaving Akane behind.

"Hey, wait! Where are you going?"

Ukyou turned her head around and smiled back at the standing Tendo. "Can't you feel it? It's Ranchan!"

"He's here?" Akane sprinted after the taller girl and the two raced toward the men who were almost done loading their cargo.

The first man groaned at the approach of the two women. "Now what?" He looked at his two friends who shrugged in reply. He turned to face the women. "What do you want?"

Akane ignored the man and jumped over him, landing on the other side of the cart and tried to find her missing husband.

Ukyou stopped where Sailor Sun had teleported from and could clearly see on the ground a faint after image of a Sailor Senshi. Concentrating, she focused on the residual magic and confirmed her suspicions. "She was here."

"Great, more Amazons." the second man stood in front of the barrel hoping these two Amazons didn't want to finish the job their friend had started. There was still enough sake in the barrel to take care of the bar's needs until another barrel could be flown in. A careful look made him question his assumption that they were from the village near the Valley of Sorrow. These women appeared to be Japanese. He asked in a slow voice. "You speak Chinese?"

"Huh?" Akane answered, baffled at the man's words.

In what little Chinese she learned in school, Ukyou replied, "little." She pointed to the ground and asked, "girl? Red?"

"She disappeared." The third man answered.

Ukyou fumbled with understanding the word. She reached into her backpack and pulled out a Chinese - Japanese dictionary. She turned the page to the word Senshi and pointed at the kanji, and said in Chinese, "Senshi."

Warrior? The three men were puzzled she would ask that, but then the Amazons were warrior women. The first man nodded and timidly replied, not knowing what this woman with a spatula was going to do if she got angry. The rumors of the Amazons and their habits were enough to give anyone in the area a healthy fear of them. "Amazon?"

Akane knew that word, Nyuchezu. Hanging around Cologne and Shampoo was enough to pick up certain Chinese words and that word spelled trouble. She produced her transformation pen and hid under the men's cart. She called out her phrase. "Io Lumina Power, Make Up!" A light show later, Sailor Io remained.

"Yikes!" The three men jumped back as a Sailor Senshi emerged from under their cart. Even though she was in a different color, her uniform was identical to the girl who disappeared except the newcomer was dressed in yellow while the other one sported a red outfit. Beads of sweat formed on each of their brows.

Sailor Io produced a ball of lava in her hand to make a point. "Where's Ranma?"

The men looked at each other for a few seconds, then in a flash, they disappeared by running off in three separate directions.

Io thought about following one of them, but decided against it because Ukyou was more interested in a patch of grass than pursuing anyone. Then, she saw what had Ukyou's attention, a magical aura exactly like that of a Sailor Senshi; a red-haired Sailor Senshi. Strange, she hadn't noticed it before, but there it was, plain as day. "He was here, wasn't he?" With a flick of her wrist, she made her lava ball vanish.

"Sure looks that way, Sugar. But what was she doing lying here?"

Io's attention was drawn to a cloth sack, sitting on the cart. It had a ki aura about it, very faint, but it was there. She opened the bag and pulled out Chinese cotton shirt, one that Ranma liked to wear. It reeked of alcohol and the bag was saturated with her husband's ki. She glanced over to the other source of the smell and found Ukyou standing over the barrel and looking inside. As both women looked in they spoke in unison. "Well, I'll be."

Io was fuming. "He was in the plane!"

"Was he following us?" Ukyou asked incredulously.

"If he was, I'm going to belt him." Io held over her shoulder a large mallet. Ukyou, likewise produced one from nowhere. Io held the shaft of her mallet tight. "I get first crack at him."

"I just want to know, where is he now?" Ukyou's senses directed her gaze skyward, In the distance, a small plane approached. She stood there as the plane got closer. She could hear the engine roar become louder until it was almost flying overhead.

Just as it was about to pass over her, something fell out. The shape grew larger and larger then it separated into three pieces. The largest of them cried out, "wheeeee, I'm flying!" One hundred meters away, three craters formed, each containing a Jusenkyo curse victim.

"I think we found him." Ukyou said dryly.

"Honestly." Io approached the largest crater, and inside was her female Senshi husband, fast asleep. She looked at her mallet. She looked at Sailor Sun. She looked at the mallet again.

A loud crack echoed among the distant valleys. "Feel better?" Ukyou asked.

Io clapped her hands together to banish any wood splinters she may have gotten. "Lots." She walked away from the crater that contained her husband who had a mallet imbedded in her skull.

Wham! Io watched Ukyou clap her hands together as well. The yellow skirted Senshi asked. "How about you?"

Ukyou smiled. "Yep, I can see why you do it. It really does make me feel better."

Sun lay at the bottom of the crater, sporting two large lumps on her head.

"What do we do now?"

"Not much right now." Ukyou sniffed the air. "Wow, what the heck was she drinking? She stinks."

Io read the side of the barrel. "Sake? She was in a barrel of sake? Idiot. You'd think she'd learn by now."

"What are you talkin' about?"

"Last year, we were in a production of Romeo and Juliet, and she drank something and it got her drunk."

"You and Ranchan? Which one of you played Juliet?"

Io growled. "I did."

Sun stirred from her place at the bottom of the crater. She could have sworn she heard Akane's voice. That was impossible, wasn't it? She was somewhere in China and... She looked at her hands and they were covered in gloves. She was transformed. How did that happen? That's right, Bacon Breath and Duck Boy were right here and Jusenkyo was right over there. I gotta hurry, she continued her train of thought. I don't have much time. She jumped out of the crater and ran over to P-Chan. She scooped him and ran over to Mousse's pit. She held both animals tight under one arm and just as the sun dropped behind a mountain peak, she shouted. "Sun Beam Transport!" In a flash of light, she disappeared.

Io and Ukyou shouted, "Ranma!" "Ranchan!" a second after she vanished into thin air.

Sailor Io clenched her fists. "Why that idiot! Where does he think he's going?"

Ukyou tried to sense where the red head vanished to, but couldn't. "I dunno. Where'd she go in such a hurry?"

"What was she doing on the plane? That's what I want to know." Io frowned. She thought that Ranma had finally trusted her. He let her fight Shampoo without him overseeing her. They fought youma together and now, was he watching over her, afraid that she couldn't fight her own battles? And wasn't there something she was supposed to say to him? She'd been travelling for almost a day with Ukyou, devoting her attention to rescuing Konatsu that something had slipped her mind, but what? Detransforming, she decided that for now, she needed her rest. "Let's go to the hotel. If he wants to show up, let him."

"Akane?" Ukyou wondered. "Didn't Ranma say something that he can't teleport at night?"

"Yeah, but he's getting better at it. He'd better not be using that to peek at me." She put the Chinese shirt back in the bag and put the bag into her backpack.

Ukyou's eyebrows raised in surprise. Weren't they married? A husband can peek as his wife all he wanted. A ray of hope gleamed in the tall girl's eye. "C'mon, I need to get some sleep too."

* * *

Rei scowled as she swept the dust away from under the main entrance of the Hikawa shrine. Yuuichiro wasn't the target of her ire, no, he was doing his best at getting rid of the latest unwanted visitor. 

He and Rei's Grandfather escorted out the young man who held a bouquet of roses. As soon as they returned, Rei pointed to a tree and hiding behind it was a short balding old man. Grandfather smiled at the man and playfully asked, "are those for me?"

"Uh, no." The old lecher replied, looking around for any sign of a Sailor Senshi.

"Are you waiting for someone?" He winked, winked, nudged, nudged, and he said no more.

"Yes, I am." He took a step back as Yuuichiro came closer to him. "Wait! Don't! Ouch!"

"Dude," Yuuichiro slurred in his surfer slang. "There ain't no Sailor girls here. Just the kamis and us and we're a lot nastier." He easily lifted the creep by the scruff of the neck and walked down the steps to the base of the hill, where he gently put the man down without harming him.

"Be a pal." The man pleaded. "I heard that the Senshi come here often, it says so right here." He held out a book titled 'Meet Sailor Mars: Fire'. "It says that she's seen around here a lot."

"Beat it." Getting a boot to the rear, the old man flew into the sky. "Man, I really need to work on my form. Hey, Rei!"

The priest in training ran back up the stairs and nearly collapsed in exhaustion. He held himself up on the pillar of the main archway for a moment to catch his breath. "Hey, don't you take martial arts lessons?"

"Sometimes. Why?" Rei asked suspiciously. She walked down the step from the front of the shrine and began to sweep the walkway. "It's kind of private."

"Well, I was thinkin' if there was room in the class for one more."

"I doubt it. Ranko is a bit picky as to who she takes on as students. Besides, if you've got any ideas like those perverts, I'd get rid of them right now."

"Wadda ya mean?"

Sighing, Rei went over to his backpack which was badly hidden behind a bush and yanked out a few roses.

"Uh... Those..."

Rei crossed her arms, barely holding back her anger. "How could you?"

"Well, uh..."

The shrine maiden tossed the roses into a nearby trash can, much to Yuuichiro's dismay. He whispered, "they're for you."

Rei didn't hear him. She walked back toward the shrine when a tuckered voice called out her name, "Rei!"

"Ami? Rei spun around. This was late in the evening and Ami usually was home studying or attending cram school. For her to be here at this hour meant something bad was happening. "Is everything okay?"

"It's better than okay. Let's talk."

Rei's Grandfather appeared next to Yuuichiro, "Don't worry, you'll get your chance, but right now, I need you to help me over here." The two men walked away from the shrine, with Yuuichiro feeling sullen.

The two girls went in the opposite direction, and shortly entered the main meeting room where they usually had their Senshi meetings. Ami glanced back the way they came. "Does your Grandfather know about us?"

"I don't ask, and neither does he. What's going on? Is there something going on? I did a fire reading this morning and I got some weird vibes, but nothing out of the ordinary. Just something about Minako's volleyball game, but that Kodachi is pretty weird to begin with, so it wasn't worth calling anybody."

"No, nothing's wrong, well, there is." Ami fumbled for words.

Rei crossed her arms and stood with her fingers tapping her elbows. "Which is it? Is there something wrong or not?"

"It's about Ukyou."

Rei's heart sank. "How is she doing? I heard about her problem. Is she okay?"

"Well," Ami smiled. She told her what she thought.

Rei stood there for a moment, silent. She slowly moved her right hand and gently placed it on her face. "Please don't tell me you mentioned this to Usagi."

"No I haven't. You're the first one. What do you think?"

"What do I think? Why don't was just raffle off transformation pens? How about we put one in cereal boxes? Why not just leave a bag of them outside and let everyone become a magical girl? Ami, it was a huge risk for us letting Akane join us."

"Rei, don't you remember what Akane did for us? We couldn't have defeated Jadeite without her help. I know that only planetary Princesses were to be bestowed our powers, but Sailor Sun proved that commoners could be given powers too." Rei stood back, ashamed of herself. Ami remained steadfast. "She died to become a Senshi. Akane almost died too. If anyone deserved to be Sailor Senshi, it was those two."

Rei sighed. "Why Ukyou? I know she's hurting because of us, but how does that make you want to her to be one of us?"

"Do you remember what happened, with the Godzillas?"

Rei rubbed her back instinctively. It was not an experience she wanted to relive ever again. "Yeah."

"She killed one of them."

"The army killed lots of them. I don't see us giving pens to them."

"No." Ami waved her hands. "She killed one of the big ones, with Saturn's Glaive."

Rei's eyes blinked. "She did?"

"She saved Saturn's and Pluto's life and almost died doing it."

"W... Why didn't you tell me about that?" Rei felt really bad.

"There was a lot of things that happened that night. But I do know that Ukyou, as well as her friends Shampoo and Konatsu fought like Senshi. From what's happening to Ukyou, I don't think it's a choice anymore. I think she's turning into a Senshi."

"Turning into a Senshi? How can that be? Hotaru's healed a lot of people and I've never heard of anybody manifesting powers."

"There's something more going on. You're right, by all means Ukyou should be a normal girl. But she isn't. It's as if we awakened something that was already there. I want to do the test."

"Test? What test?"

"I found it when I was doing research on Ukyou's condition. When a daughter of a royal house was born, they gave her a test to see if she was accepted by their guardian planet. If she was, she was deemed the Senshi of that world. We all had to take the test."

Rei racked her brain and couldn't recall anything about a test from her past life, but then, her past life was only visible to her as fragmented images and faint memories. "What is this test?"

"That, is where the Moon Princess comes in."

Rei shuddered.

* * *

It was late at night at the Cat Cafe. Shampoo's father was checking the storeroom when he heard a noise upstairs. Silently, he crept up the stairs and peered into the dark dining area. There was no one to be seen. He peeked over the opening that seperated the dining area from the kitchen and the kitchen area too was devoid of any life. He stood still and formed a soul of ice, hoping to avoid detection from the intruder. 

A minute passed in silence. He tip toed toward the archway that led to the back of the restaurant. The corridor was dark. Only the upper floor had a light on and that's where he was planning to go to retire for the evening. Waiting at the base of the stairs, he listened for anything out of the ordinary. He heard a truck drive by. Then a pedestrian walked by. Silenced followed. He sighed in relief and as he was about to take a step upstairs, a loud clang came from the Elder's bedroom.

Grabbing a butcher knife, he quietly approached the door to Cologne's bedroom. Normally, he wouldn't venture inside, but someone else was violating the sanctity of the Elder and it was his duty to protect it. He grabbed the doorknob and threw open the door. He flicked on the light, only to find his knife knocked out of his hand by a flying tobacco pipe. "Who's in there?" He challenged.

A rolled up scroll flew through the air and knocked him out cold. Inside the room, Happosai relaxed his combat stance. "Oh, it's just you." He went to the doorway and looked around. "Hmm, it seems that she's not around. Good." He went back to his work, picking the lock on a magically enhanced chest. A few moments later, a click was heard and the box opened up revealing a treasure trove of jewelry and artifacts. "It's gotta be in here somewhere."

Half an hour later, the floor was covered with assorted magical items, organized into piles. One was stacked with jewelry of high value, another of things magical in nature, another was scrolls, another contained books and the last one had Shampoo's underwear. Cologne's underwear was kept safe and sound in her dresser drawer, covered with wards courtesy of a tiny pervert.

"Where is it?" Happosai was angry. "It's not here." He searched the room again, and this time, nothing new was found. "There's only one place it could be." Reaching over to the pile of magical items, he produced the Nan-Ban mirror. "I see she fixed you." Happosai rubbed his hands in glee at his good luck. "It's as good as mine again."

Somewhere in the forest outside of Furinkan High, a lanky kid sat in a clearing with a heavy downpour drenching him. He didn't mind that the rain was only centered on him and it was not raining anywhere else in all of Tokyo. Sitting under his umbrella, he watched Happosai ransack Cologne's bedroom. "Hee hee." He laughed. "I'll have him bring me all that when he's done." A lightning bolt shot out from the sky, and Gosenkugi's umbrella disintegrated. The young man fell over unconscious. Despite the rain, the Demonicon was completely dry.

* * *

Author's Notes: Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and keeps me from opening your mail. 

Rebecca Ann Heineman  
July 30th, 2007

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